All I remember is that getting wasted in hot weather and being outside was just horrendous.
Trying to sit upright in my chair at the beer garden, or the bbq, trying desperately not to pass out.
Trying to get a little bit less drunk so no one would know.....

And then of course feeling really ill and the only way to fix that was another drink.
Just madness. :)

I remember trying to walk straight to the gazebo, hiding my glass or bottle behind my back so the neighbours wouldn't know I was in there drinking. Curtains closed on all 3 sides so no one could see me. I really don't miss that and I'm getting so much more gardening done :)

Hi everyone.

It's been lovely, as ever, reading the posts.

jr; your post made me smile too. I totally understand the thing of checking pages whilst reading, etc. Perhaps it's a control issue, like Suze said. I've always viewed it as a nervous and anxious habit for me. I didn't do it when I was younger and not burdened by worries. Back then, I could really get lost in a book and I had a voracious appetite for reading; anything and everything. Starting from my early 20s, however, I became very anxious that reading became a chore... This lingers on, I'm sad to say.

I admire you, jr, for all the reading you do get in. It doesn't matter how you do it either, checking progress and all. If you keep at it, you will find that your mind will naturally quiet down and you'll be at peace. That habit of yelling at yourself will also stop; just give it time. All the best with your meditation practice and do keep us updated on your progress and how it's working for you.

Sunflower, thank you for sharing with us that bit of your story/journey. We are lucky to have you join our group.

All your shares regarding drinking in the summer time reminded me of my past too. I shudder to think of it. I don't think (neither do I wish to) I can ever drink again. I was always a wobbly drinker; quick to get high/drunk. I wasn't going to last long travelling down that dark path.

Anyhow, to say that I'm much happier now would be an understatement.

dlb; again, kudos on getting back into exercising. What jr said of meditation regarding being consistent, also applies to fitness, dieting, sobriety/recovery, everything really. A little everyday will work incredible magic. I look forward to reading more about your progress in this area too.

Abraxas; I think it's a blessing for us, as much as it has been for you, to have you rejoin us and post regularly. Your posts and your journey are refreshing to read. It will be great to read more of your insights and self revelations.

CB; how did it go with the software reinstallation?

It was interesting to read all your thoughts regarding talking/sharing our journeys, within SR and beyond.

Like the rest of you, I have found sharing with my fellows in recovery to be extremely beneficial to my journey. I've since learned that talking is just another form of thinking, to a large extent. When I talk/write, I dig deeper into myself and the answer/solution is often revealed to me. Because the answers lie inside anyway, unless we are counselling somebody, confiding our struggles to another (non-alcoholic) could be tricky, to say the least.

Lixie; how's the going now? How is it with the kids back in school and all? The wedding preparations (congratulations, by the way)... The issue with the house? I hope everything is working out as it should.

Fish, Mr. W, daisy, Willow, greetings.... We miss you all and look forward to a check in from you all soon.

Fish, I know you're super busy with work. Keep up the good work. However, since you largely work outdoors, I don't envy you the upcoming hot weather. How do you cope with that?

Oh, thanks for the lovely picture of the flowers, CB...

I've been well, although busy. I have full (and very rewarding) days, made exponentially better in sobriety.

I recently made 4 months sober (congrats to me, Fish and Sunflower...), and, I'm glad to say, I'm going strong.

It's coming to midnight here so I'd best be nodding off. Tomorrow is a new day. I wish you all a lovely Sunday. Just in case we have some Muslim brothers and sisters amongst us, a happy Idd el Fitr!

jr; revealing vulnerability is a strength.

Congrats darling Butter!!!! :) ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hello Class!
Thanks for sharing your story sunflower!
Butters, I like hot weather. I have a hat with a neck flap, wear shorts, thin shirts and enjoy sweating out the toxins. :) I do not like the 90+ degree high humidity we get here but I'll take that over 30 degree weather any day.

I also noticed we haven't heard from wolfie lately.

Venus drinking in the heat is miserable! Hated it. But that didn't stop me. Craziness

Hope everyone has a great weekend! A long one for us Americans! All Gave Some, Some Gave All!

Hey Fish.

It's good that you like hot weather.

It's a cold, cloudy day here so I'm snuggled in bed with my kids for a bit. Hubby is making lunch... Aren't I lucky, lol.

Catch you all later...

Morning all.

Great to drink coffee and get caught up on everyone's posts.

Took the kid fishing on the Gulf of Mexico yesterday. The grouper had to go back because they are out of season until June 1.

A variation of the old Miami vice look from the 80s, with a tshirt and a button up shirt over it, seems to be making a comeback with the kids now it would seem.

It was the first time I've been on a gulf trip since quitting, albeit without my drinking buddies. We had to stop at the big store for some things and it was (not sure what words to use, sympathetic indifference?) watching the steady stream of guys pulling cases of beer out of the walk in cooler. Can honestly say that there was almost zero thought of drinking beer on my part.

Happy Sunday classmates

It was lovely to start the day reading everyones posts.

Sunflower, thank you for sharing your story. I totally empathise trying to hide your drinking from your neighbours. For me, it was overflowing a shared recycle bin. Now with the lock-down and no people collecting bottles from my trash for deposits, I see I was not the only one.

Abraxas, your motivation to build a routine has definitely inspired me. Starting each weekday with the alarm clock. Thank you.
Butters. Being consistent is the key. For me, that is the real challenge. The other side is not to beat myself up if I skip a day. We aren't perfect but still making progress, building each week. I agree it is amazing to have new people join our group. In the same way to have you contribute so much over the last 4 months. Congrats.

Talking of making progress, JR. you are doing so well. I am also looking for ways to find that calm concentration to focus and enjoy the present. With whatever I am doing. You seem to be on such a good path.

Venus, my years of being wasted seem to have a lot in common with what I know of yours. I am so glad we are here. There are some open doors now, with all the challenges, but I feel optimism for what can still be achieved.

Great to see you check in Fish. I wish i was as good as you in hot weather. I love snow and am fine in the cold. That said, I would love to be surrounded by the amazing plants that Cityboy shares pics of. We don't have those in my part of the world.
Love the pic, Cityboy. Your world looks amazing this time of year.

OK. I better begin my day. It is going to be a an easy one with no to-do's, except draw my next 4 week wall planner that I used to help chart my routine.

Have a healthy, safe and sober Sunday all

dlb

Drinking in hot weather. [raising hand] Have to be through with physical activity and it has to be a watered down light beer. Start at 2 after knocking off, a few hours of feeling better, impossible to think about working out or eating healthy, too drunk to read so pass out watching TV or some sappy sentimental video on phone, wake up at 3 am and can't go back to sleep, time for work but feel like going back to bed, feel like a train wreck from drinking previous evening and working in the heat, repeat.

Hiding the drinking. [raising hand again] Always policing up the vehicle and the house for beer cans and the little tops from beer bottles, afraid to open the tool box in front of a customer because there was likely some form of alcohol beverage in there, keeping my beer stash in a small cooler in the utility room or wine in the pantry and pouring it into a cup as if no one knew what it was.

The software reinstall was challenging but seemed to be successful. Two days filled with anxiety, setbacks, and small victories.

Very good to have abraxas and sunflower on board. Something about SR and the people here is that from the first time I clicked on and started reading, I have been struck at how I could have written almost exactly what other people were sharing about themselves.

Jr, I admire you for the type of enrichment reading that you do, and the reading productivity. My reading mostly consists of taking in a couple of pages before going to sleep, unless traveling, and is mostly history oriented.

That AA meeting I went to on that work trip early on consisted mostly of people who needed to get their court papers signed, but there were a couple of older guys who both had a long history of addiction, criminal activity, and being in and out of prison, who gave extremely good talks. Going to it kept me from getting smashed at the hotel at that critical early stage, which was standard operating procedure.

I have talked with my wife about it a handful of times, which I think has helped to heal and reinforce. A friend of mine quit a few years ago and I've talked with him a couple of times. It took several weeks before I could think about talking to anyone other than you guys.

Hope everyone has/had a great day.

Yes, I could have easily written the first part of your post. :hug: s

I started using tea/coffee mugs for my wine so none of my neighbours could see what I was drinking.....we popped in and out of each others' flats over the weekend.....honestly, such craziness.....when you are hiding from the neighbours that is all kinds of scary. I guess the whole building knew I was an alcoholic.

Venus, I have drank red wine from a coffee mug many times.

Hi everyone!

I hope you're all having a lovely start to your week.

I'm doing well. Just checking in for now.

Cheers!

Morning everyone, great to catch up with all the posts.

My son went back to his mum's yesterday, won't see him again until next Sunday. Not finding it easy, but it's early days. It is infinitely better (for all of us) this way than the way t was when me and my ex were living together. And however painful it is, I am so very grateful for sobriety. What a mess I'd be without it.

Turning it around, an opportunity to focus on me this week then. I have been thinking for a while that I need to do some journaling. Sort out a few things in my mind, especially the separation from my ex. It's a rabbit hole I don't particularly want to go down, but it will do me the world of good - once I'm out the other side,

Take care and have a great and sober Monday :-)

Morning all.

Looks like a nice memorial day, although there is a 70% chance of rain. I'll be working today anyway. This week the weather looks to be in a summer type of pattern.

Abraxas, I hope you can sort it through and come out the other side with a handle on things.

I've had the most success with maintaining diet and exercise when I was in a daily routine. My work keeps me in different locations and on a varying time table so keeps life interesting but it is not conducive for having a routine. I'm still 4 to 5 kilos down, but need to continue to establish healthier habits.

Write a sentence or paragraph, then delete it, then write it again; I do that all the time.

:wave:

Magnificent day here. Wishing all of the Americans a good Memorial Day holiday. :grouphug: