Mine started with my cousins, too! They rolled me up in a rug. Terrible!
I just watched the best short video on Youtube and wanted to share it. Very good information!
"Relapse Prevention: Early warning signs and important coping skills" is what it's called.

:fright: Karen......and awesome re Youtube vid.....thank you. xx

I'm laughing, Venus. I think only another person with claustrophobia would understand the horror of being locked in a little closet or rolled up in a rug. Makes me sweat just thinking of it! Yes, I loved the video. Saved it and will watch it a lot. Another new tool!

I mucked up, my list nor my plan worked on sat and I drank sat and sun night.. I need to re look at what I'm doing and how I'm doing it and my thinking around it.. I haven't fully accepted yet that I can't drink as a lot of the time 'bad' things don't happen... Until they happen... Normally a fight with my partner that I can't keep up with as I'm drunk, he can be abusive and normally I just keep my mouth shut as to not rock the boat as its not nice to go through and when I've been drinking I have courage to maybe say something which ends up in a fight.
I know that the only option is to not drink but fully accepting that is quite hard..
Anyway, so right now I plan not to drink today..

I think you have to reach a point where you know it's self destructive to drink whether or not bad things happen Red.

I had a choice - I could live the life I wanted to live, and be the person I wanted to be, or I could drink...but not both.

I had to choose.

the fact that sometimes nothing bad happened when I drank was really immaterial to that.

you have that same choice.

D

Sending lots of love, Red. I know how hard it is. Once a sponsor told me she felt I kept relapsing because I hadn't suffered enough yet. I see her point, but I'm not sure that's the whole story.
I think I had to get desperate enough to start really working on a plan and making it my top priority, and of course the consequences got me desperate enough. But, there was also a lot of help out there I was ignoring. Lots of tools I hadn't noticed. Maybe I didn't pay attention because I hadn't suffered enough? I don't know.
A couple of the things that have made a huge difference for me are: I use a sobriety day counter that gives awards for days, has pointers on recovery, tells how much money I've saved and the good things that are happening to my body. I love it, it even has a game. It's called Easy Quit Drinking. It's not easy, that part is false, but the rest has helped so much.
AA has been huge. I need some face to face live in action people along with this great class.
The book, "The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober" has been incredible. She loves sobriety, and it shows, and she gives oodles of pointers and 'tool' suggestions. You can order it on Amazon, I got it the next day.
My heart goes out to you. Please let us know how it's going.

Hi Group,
Just wanted to stop in and say hello. After finally getting back to day one, I drank this weekend. I met with my pastor’s wife last night to confide in her and seek out more counsel.

Hi Red,
You are such a kind and beautiful soul. You deserve a better partner in your life. You really do. I’m sure it’s complicated but I just wanted to put that out there. :grouphug:

I have to get back on track for good and change everything about my thought process and routine. This is frightening stuff. Never thought I’d be so deep in a battle....with MYSELF!

Love to all. Enjoy the day off if you’re in the US.

Stick with us Red, build yourself a support network anywhere you can. I've been there many times, either doubting or wishing my drinking problems away. They don't go away, drinking is the problem. I have other problems too, but I can't even begin to deal with them if I let drinking take hold again. Sending my suport

Quitnow- it can be very frightening stuff. How little control we have is what makes it so frightening for me. You would think knowing the risks it would be easy to do the right thing always, but it is not

Going to the labor day parade today, my son is in the high school band. enjoy your day everyone!

Have a wonderful day dear nmd. :) :hug:

I love this post.....your toolbox is filling with wonderful recovery materials dear Karen. And thank you for the name of that app....I am going to check it out....thinking about future job tools. :) :hug: xx

I was thinking the same thing dear Red..... you deserve to be treated with love. :hug: s

Quitnow honey......would you like another sober buddy? If so, we could text or talk. :hug: s

I remember my sponsor telling me this: YOUR thinking got you here Suzanne, you need to stop thinking for a bit and listen. Do the suggested things, and you will get this.

:hug: s xx

I may need you Venus. People in my “real life” circles don’t get this and it would be great to have someone available who does. I just looked into going to a meeting tonight, but the church host is closed for the holiday.

Hopefully there are meetings on today.....surely they don't all close on a public holiday....that is when we really need them.

I am PMing my info. :hug: xx

Thanks Suze. I am really loving being sober for the first time in many years. I have
'white knuckled' through a lot. I was in line in the grocery store and the guy ahead of me had two four-packs of Strawberry-Rita's. I looked at them and remembered what horrible hangovers they gave me. I was drinking them instead of beer because my family didn't know I was drinking, and I could hide them in my room and pour them over ice. Awful memory. And then I realized it hadn't even passed my mind to buy alcohol at the store. It's heavenly. I want to keep that, and I know it's using all these recovery tools that will keep me there.
Quit, I am praying for you and sending positive vibes your way. I would love to see you make it! You deserve it. If you have a minute, try watching the video I mentioned before, "Relapse Prevention: Early warning signs and important coping skills" . It packs a lot of great info. into just a few minutes. :grouphug:
Red, please hang in there. I don't know the full story, but it sounds like your partner is not being good to you. What makes you tolerate that? I'm not judging, I stayed in an abusive relationship for years. I'm just wishing you could focus on your recovery without an abusive person mucking up the water around you, so to speak.
Enjoy your parade NMD, it sounds like fun.
Hugs and happy Labor Day evening to all.

Gosh you are just so lovely Karen. :) :hug: xx

Howdy everyone

Red I can only echo what the others are saying, stay with us. Look here for support and things to build your toolbox with. I was at the farm today and it was raining so it gave me a minute or two to download a sobriety app. Karen has one two. Is a small little motivator and sometimes that may be all you need. Looking forward to seeing how the next few days go for you.

Quit4now I personally don't follow AA but I have seen many on this site that have had huge successes with it. Since you can't get too a meeting I have heard others talking about them being online. That may be an avenue to pursue. As I said to red, stick with us, we are always here for you.

To the group had some major downtime today and though about drinking a lot. Even drove to town to buy a bag of chips and some snacks to keep my mind off it. I will have to address my snacking since I stopped drinking at some point but that may have to wait till I am a bit stronger. Love the idea I got here for that app, its a neat little tool. Thank you SR.

Talk tomorrow, have a great Labor day sleep. Short week ahead, *****!!!

Thoughts are thoughts - it what we do worth the thoughts that counts, Trojanhorse - well done :c014:

D

Karen just watched that video. its an interesting way to think about relapse. I never considered it as a slow moving train that takes time to build up. I always just look at it as one weak moment where you step off the wagon. Those signals for emotional relapse are defiantly something to watch for. Thanks for recommending it and I will also send a five star rating its way for all of us to watch.

Karen - I use that app, I got it last year when we joined August class, I love it, I got down to 30 flips on the memory game lol

As for my relationship, it's a tricky one. He can be 2 totally different people, one of them I love and the other is a complete jerk that I hate.. I often get confused about whether he is abusive or not or if its me but my counsellor says a definite yes that he is.
I don't really know what to do.. I'm not happy though, I just ignore and pretend to be..