SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - Class of February 2019 Support Thread Pt 2

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- - Class of February 2019 Support Thread Pt 2 (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-daily-support-threads/436338-class-february-2019-support-thread-pt-2-a.html)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evoo (Post 7126149)

Being around my family — who I love dearly — is tough sometimes, because the liquor flows so freely and constantly. Tonight I didn’t drink, but I did find myself wanting one as my brothers and cousins put them back.

No — I shouldn’t say I wanted “a drink.” Because that’s never what I want. I held strong, though.

Keep on, February class.

Way to be strong Evoo. That must have been hard. And I totally understand not wanting "a drink". Let's me honest...I have never wanted "a drink". I have always wanted to get wasted and be in complete oblivion! I don't want to do that anymore. Oblivion sucks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evoo (Post 7126149)

Good job! I understand completely. It’s around me constantly (with DH bring primary). I’m not sure how to deal with my parents yet - when I had the wine at the symphony I was with them. They would fully support my not drinking, but then they’d be all “we won’t drink” which would make me feel bad and so on and so on. They aren’t the ones with the problem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoieGras (Post 7126182)

They would fully support my not drinking, but then they’d be all “we won’t drink” which would make me feel bad and so on and so on. They aren’t the ones with the problem.

Yep! I totally relate to this FoieGras! My husband is a "normal" drinker and won't drink around me if I ask him not to but then I feel very guilty and selfish. :headbange

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liveher (Post 7125798)

Good morning all,
Feeling tired today, Day 5. But all in all okay. Heading to a meeting in an hour.
Going to face calling my father later today who I pissed off earlier this week when I lost control. I’m dreading it but I also am tired of feeling the burden of guilt in not having apologized.
Hope everyone is doing well. I think it’s so wonderful how much I can learn from everyone here. I’m still lacking major motivation and energy, but I’m hoping that’s just one of the early day symptoms.
Have a wonderful day/night... wherever you are! I’m near NYC.

How are you doing Liveher? How was your day? How was the meeting?

Did you end up calling your father? How did things go?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Addy47 (Post 7126103)

Thanks James. Times like that it's better for me to stay home. I was never a home drinker. I was a bar drinker so I don't trust myself. I am much better now though. Thank you again!

I'm the opposite, I drink at home but not while out even at parties. Glad you're feeling a lot better.

Quote:

Originally Posted by starstarstar (Post 7126127)

I agree and I wish I could’ve been that strong after a week or two sober but I was no where near it.. I was fragile to the point of breaking if anyone looked at me wrong.. okay, what I perceived as “wrong”.

Every ounce of strength I had those first few days and weeks was used to avoid drinking. All the other hard stuff had to wait ��

Don't misunderstand me -I'm not saying you need to sort out every problem you have immediately :)

I often speak of sober muscles - you get through by 'working out' - lifting lighter weights at first and then bigger ones after that.

I'd never suggest someone new to recovery start lifting the life equivalent of 300 pounds - you've got to work up to that.

Doing too much can make folks relapse just as much as doing too little.

But I think everyone can learn to sit with a little discomfort and ignore the urge to numb out and learn to reach out for support instead.

that's how we grow stronger :)

D

Hey guys,

On day 2 of my drug and alcohol free journey. First thing I did when i woke up this morning is go on SR and without it I know I'd still be laying in bed wanting to shut the world out.

Really don't feel the best today, but I know it's a journey, and in time I will feel better.

Welcome lightanddark. It will get better.

I’m also doing a weight loss program and today they talked about motivational lows and highs. Like right now I’m in the honeymoon phase (this is great!), but there’s a motivational plummet coming (could take days, could take weeks). Then after that there’s a series of motivational highs and lows, and we have to learn how to surf through them.

I thought that had applicability to quitting drinking as well. I’ll bet the plummet is where lots of people quit quitting, and if someone lasts longer, maybe of the motivational lows gets them. Anyway, thought I’d share.

I’m off to the rink again, then to Costco. Then maybe I’ll actually cook something for dinner....

So happy to have woken up early (and sober this Sunday morning! (I woke up at 5am). Hubby is still sleeping, so I have time to myself to read/post, etc. I will be going for my walk later, when the sun is up and it warms up a bit! I had a great day yesterday (basically not doing anything!) Not sure what I will be doing today, but whatever it is, I'll be sober!
Addy- I LOVE taking naps! Always have.....sleeping just blocks everything out and allows me to recoup and forget about EVERYTHING! I usually meditate while I am beginning to go to sleep...it is so nice! Glad you are feeling better! (I was a HS cheerleader too....in fact I wore my cheerleading outfit for Halloween until we moved to Costa Rica!).
Liveher-For me, lacking motivation/energy will pass....I think that I too "beat myself up" for all of the stupid, embarrassing things I have done while drinking....but things get better with time. Just hold on for the ride!
Star-Glad you are reading/posting! There's a lot of support here! Finding ways to "cope" is a process....and a learning experience. Stick around, though, and keep posting...reading the posts might help you to get started....it took me a while to come back to SR...wish I had stuck around in the first place! I think we all drank for different reasons, but I think that trying to figure out WHY seems almost moot. There are lots of studies that show that our brains are different than "normal" drinkers. For me, I KNOW there's a genetic component.
Evvoo- I am trying to avoid those family triggers. My older sister is an alcoholic , my daughter is a (recovering....I think) addict, and both of my parents were alcoholics as well.. Alcohol has always been a mainstay at any family function (even with my husband's family). In early sobriety, I am trying to remove myself from people, places and things that could possibly compromise my sobriety.
Foie Gras- when I asked my husband not to have any alcohol in the house, he promptly removed any beer that he may have had in the house and put it in the garage. Now he barely drinks at all. (I never have been a beer drinker, anyway, though). As for "nobody else" would drink if you didn't, then all the better! With time, I found it easier and easier just to order something non-alcoholic and just not say anything....would that work? You are right about the motivational highs/lows....I think that is why we all need a "plan"...especially for the "lows"....lol
NM2- I think that we are all struggling as newbies. The "zombie" phase will pass....and, for me, THIS TIME, it passed pretty quickly, although (as I said) I didn't really do anything yesterday...but TODAY feels like it's gonna be a good one!
Canuck-So sorry for your loss. and on to AA....
Canguy- I have been in and out of AA. The higher power thing initially bothered me too....I just had to believe that there was something bigger than me out there....However, I was part of the 95% (according to the research out there) who relapsed more than once. I got sober using SR when we lived in Costa Rica. It seems like a good fit for me. I DO remember a LOT of "the program", though, so I use a little bit of this and some of those memories, which helps. I don't think I will go back to AA though.
Addy/James- I drank at home, going out, going to a friend's place, etc. It didn't seem to matter to me. I RARELY only had 1-2 drinks. I think I always drank to get drunk. Otherwise, what's the point????:dunce: Hence, the regrets, embarrassment, etc. It's going to take some time being sober before anyone will believe it (again).
Light and dark- Welcome to the Groundhogs!

Have a great Sunday everyone! Sorry, if I missed anyone....hang in there!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Addy47 (Post 7126186)

How are you doing Liveher? How was your day? How was the meeting?

Did you end up calling your father? How did things go?

Hi Addy, Thanks for checking in! Sorry... I kind of felt the need to keep quiet and distracted yesterday. The meeting was great - a very popular one with lots of people of all different life experiences. I heard so many of them talk about their kids not talking to them or not having relationships even after making amends. I ended up sitting in the parking lot when it was over and calling my Dad (who is a recovered alcoholic). It was a very good talk and he really came from a place of understanding and giving advice. My father did go through his own recovery, but everything including recovery was kept so secretive and he never did make amends with us kids. I’m not going to focus on that but having had that experience growing up and now my experience in AA meetings, I realize that addiction is SO common and was always around me. And in so many different degrees, some functioning “better” than others. I also have been contemplating why each of my relapses over the last year got more worse as time went on. This process is not linear and over my brief attempts at sobriety, I think the heavy introspection was unearthing a lot of old stuff so when I would relapse, the lid that I used to be able to keep tightly screwed was blown off. I got to the point where I realized that relying on my willpower alone was doomed to fail every attempt. Now as you know, I’m trying out AA and I have to say, right off the bat what’s helped a lot is being among compassionate people who can relate and finally unburdening myself of my heavy, dirty secret. That’s what’s different this time for me. Whereas before, I was in this rinse and repeat cycle of pretending my behavior didn’t happen.

So so sorry you had a rough day yesterday. How are you doing today? I fully anticipate that next week some difficult feelings are going to emerge for me. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings and what you’ve been going through. It’s so helpful and so necessary for all of us!

Hi all, Day 6 here for me. Just wanted to say hi and chime in that I can relate to the uncomfortable feelings being around drinkers who you’re used to drinking with. I’m lucky that most of my friends don’t drink but my husband does and we’ve been talking about how he can support me regarding that.
As I said above, this journey has not been linear and I’ve actually gotten much more comfortable being the non drinker at gatherings but that was not always the case. My Achilles heel has been being home alone and convincing myself that I’d be able to stop... the biggest lie ever. So... I’m really trying to keep myself out and about during those vulnerable times. When my husband is home, I don’t even have that conflict of drinking or not. There is an issue of personal authority for me that I hope to heal in recovery.

Lately I’ve been really turning to distraction via movies or TV... I’ve always been this way where I like to lose myself in someone else’s story. This habit is somewhat intertwined in my addiction in that I don’t take ownership of my own life, but I’m allowing it as a soft place to land in early recovery, as long as it’s not the ONLY thing I’m doing. Which let me tell you, I am capable of doing!

Thinking of you all and wanted to say hi to the newcomers. Glad you’re here!

Know the best part of not drinking on the weekends?

Feeling like a million dollars on a Sunday morning :). Have a good day, friends.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evoo (Post 7126590)

Know the best part of not drinking on the weekends?

Feeling like a million dollars on a Sunday morning :). Have a good day, friends.

You said it, EVOO!! How about not having the excruciating moment when you’re waking up, haven’t even open your eyes yet and get that punch in the gut feeling and groan.... oh my god.... I did it again. Oh crap....who did I call? What did I post? Is my -fill in the blank- mad at me? Or worse yet, experiencing drinker’s dawn and tossing and turning for the next few hours with shame, fear and physical pain.

Such a waste of energy and time ALWAYS attending to a clean up in Aisle 5!!!!

Our new preference.... greet the day having (hopefully) slept well, no regrets or fogginess about the day before, hopefully embracing the day with compassion for yourself and others, and looking forward to the unexpected miracles and gifts that sobriety brings. We can do it my classmates!!!!

Hello, folks! Joining up on my umpteenth and hopefully last Day 1. I've tried every sort of moderation there is and they all end up the same. I read a post here that said "I realized I don't even enjoy moderation" and it was such an epiphany! That's me all over. So the choice is drink to excess or not at all and I'm taking the latter route. Glad to be on the road with you folks.

Welcome Lascaux....love the name! Glad you've joined the Groundhog class! Thanks, Liveher for your openness and honesty. I know that I can relate!

Glad you're back, Lascaux - welcome aboard :)

May I join in on February class?

Hi, I would like to be a part of the February class. Is there something I need to do to sign up?

Quote:

Originally Posted by babyc8ks (Post 7126643)

Hi, I would like to be a part of the February class. Is there something I need to do to sign up?

I think you just did, babyc8ks :).

Keep posting. How are you doing with your recovery today?

Welcome lightandddark, Lascaux and babyc8ks! Glad you are here. The more people in the class the stronger we all are.

Today is day 13 for me. Still not fun because I am still exhausted, kinda depressed, very anxious and very CRANKY. I cry at the drop of a hat. ugh.

Anyway...it's gonna be a quick check in right now cause I am gonna take a quick nap.

Glad you made it through yesterday Liveher. Thank you for the honesty and openness in your posts. It really helps me.

I hope everyone is doing ok. I am thinking about all of you. This journey may not be easy but it will be worth it!

Hey everybody, joining the Feb. class on day 7. I had six + months in 2017 and 2018, now I'm ready to do this for life. This is the first time I've said "forever" and it's freeing. Alcohol offers NOTHING positive and the benefits of sobriety are soooo worth it!

I save a lot of excerpts from SR and other sources that speak to me, here's one from Annie Grace-

You’ve experienced alcohol addiction and you know how vile and insidious it is. You have the advantage, stand up and fight. The fear of never being able to drink again is replaced by the excitement of never having to drink again. The experience is euphoric. You see your entire life, long and healthy, stretch out before you. You are proud. You have done something amazing. You are excited to enjoy this remarkable life and all of the many wonderful human experiences it holds.