Um....it is gorgeous Kev.....Nick (husband) thought so as well. :)

Hell no, I look like Willy Wonka.

Gotta run, I’m late for work, I’ll catch up with you guys later! ❤️

I love you sooooo much!!

Thank you Suze. I want to be friends with him more than anything. We have been texting back and forth all morning. Just wish we could talk in person about it. Thanks for the love. Sorry to take over the thread with my personal crap.

Congrats Bandi!!! Love you:c011:

Good luck with the move and CONGRATS on 30 days! Nothing better than a fresh physical start - leave the old memories of drinking behind. When we moved into our new home last year I was really excited to be able to say “I have never had a drink in this house.” It’s such a great feeling!!

You are awesome!!:You_Rock_

support to all

24 more please

Thank you Dee, would love another 24 of freedom please & thanks.

Struggling a bit today with what I can only describe as a brain fog - feels like I am thinking from a long way away. Thankful that I can still think but hmmm very peculiar indeed. I'm sure it'll pass. Anyway apart from that, just wanted to congratulate our milestoners and send much Love to you all, SP:Val004::a194:

Gooooood morning young people of the world

I’m here in need of the best this 24 hrs of sobriety can give me

Have a fabulous marvellous day

Hi everyone. Feeling super depressed today. Woke up at my SO's house, it's my day off so I was cozy and thought I'd sleep in. Actually I've been feeling depressed and exhausted lately on the whole so I have been sleeping a lot. DJTM (my SO) woke up early and got up to get ready for work. I heard him get dressed, go to the kitchen to make coffee... I was still curled up half asleep, and I intended to go back to full sleep after he left. But then he came back in the bedroom and turned on the TV at a normal (loud to a snoozing person) volume so he could watch the news and drink coffee.

Now, he has done this many times in the past and we have argued about it before. To me, it is inconsiderate and rude, and shows that he doesn't care that I am still asleep. He usually replies something like "It's time to get up anyway" or gets snarky with me or dismisses me or laughs me off. All of these things make me really mad. And the fact that we have talked about it before and he clearly doesn't care shows me he doesn't care how I feel. So I sat up in the bed and said "Why are you doing that? You said you would stop blaring the TV early in the morning when I'm asleep!" He reacted in the usual manner.

All these things go through my head like, he never listens, he doesn't hear me, he doesn't care about how I feel, he doesn't respect my boundaries, etc etc etc. The thoughts overwhelmed me and I became really upset when he scoffed at me. I threw his TV remote into the other room. He kept looking at his phone while I told him I was mad and talked about how I felt (a repeating behavior that I have a huge problem with) so I told him to put it down!

He just kept shutting down and I kept getting more upset. This is the cycle. We just got into a fight about it. He pulled some classic blows: Saying sarcastically that I should go to a meeting, sarcastically telling me I'm not a psychiatrist when I'm telling him what I see, telling me to stop dragging my past relationships into our present relationship. Meanwhile I'm telling him that I feel like he never hears me, and like he doesn't care about how I feel.

Then he finally calms down and apologizes, of course when I'm reduced to frustrated tears and I am so confused and frustrated, and it is always like this. Why can't he just listen, why didn't he just listen to the news in the kitchen like I would have done if he was sleeping. Why do my needs or boundaries not matter. Why did he have to pull so many punches about my previous marriages and up the ante so much. I kept telling him "When you do this, I feel like this.... bla bla bla" and he just kept saying "Why are you REALLY mad," as if it could have nothing to do with him, and "Why is this such a big deal," and I was responding to him that these actions communicate to me over and over again that he doesn't care. And that the REAL reason I'm mad is because of the overarching problem is that I don't feel heard, and how can I move in with someone who can't just not blare the TV in my face when I am in bed, just because I'm a human being worthy of respect.

It is super hard for me to think of moving in together next year when he is demonstrating over and over again that my feelings don't matter. And no this is not the only example. And yes I am really traumatized by my exes, and I am doing something really big just trying to even make something work with him. I could have run screaming in terror from relationships, and maybe I should have. He just shows me these actions of not caring, then apologizes and TELLS me he cares, then it all just happens over again. And I just feel so frustrated and I am doing everything I can to try to stand up for myself and also to be loving and care for him and respect him. Maybe I should just give up.

Sorry for this rant I know no one wants to hear about my stupid relationship but I am so depressed now I can't seem to get my head together to do the work I wanted to do, I feel so stupid and undeserving, I feel confused, I feel like nothing I make is real or matters, this is just how it is right now so I came here because I can't go anywhere else and be heard right now. And that cluster of feelings is immensely triggering.

I guess this is the wrong place maybe I should have just put that post elsewhere. Feeling really unbalanced right now and disoriented

Oh Plenny :hug: I can relate. I used to feel like that a lot in my relationship too. If you like to vent you can message me if you like.

I hope you will find a way to talk so you feel more understood. Sending you hugs!

Oh guys things here are not great at all. I'm fighting my own internal ball of anxiety every day which is manageable to a degree but now my eldest daughter has started with panic attacks and anxiety totally out of the blue.
Poor thing I can see it in her face and it's heart breaking to see. We are on holiday too which is just bloody awkward and I just want to take her home. It's 8pm now and she and I are back in our room and I've set her up with a mindful meditation to try.
Honestly? This is just awful. I can absolutely see what she is going through but until we get home and in our own little bubble again I'm struggling to help her. Even worse still I'm not exactly calm myself but of course I'm putting a lid on that and faking it for her.
I might even resort to some of that praying tonight.
I need 24 please and just a little break in the panic anxiety cycle for Hannah ❤❤❤

Goodnight Guys :grouphug:

Prayers going up for Plenny & for Hannah.

I'll have another 24 please. :)

Sending big hugs to you Plenny & to Hannah :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

:tyou Hevyn and Shenzy ❤❤❤

24

((((Plenny)))) love and support to you, look after yourself :hug: ❤️
And ((((Sunflowerlife)))) :hug: ❤️ relationships are soooo complex, sending you love and support to anyone struggling :hug: ❤️

((((Jo)))) :hug: ❤️

Venuscat :hug: ❤️ I sooo relate to the gratefulness for still having my intellect intact after the amount of alcohol I tried to drown it in! :)

Had a really close call with the AV yesterday in an unexpected alleyway full of outdoor bars but I’m still sober :)
Another 24 hours please
Love to you all and support to you all ❤️❤️❤️
Willow xxxx

Thanks for the love and air hugs y'all. I'm still feeling crummy but I went for a quick run, did some work, and now I'm off to a meeting. DJTM is feeling sorry for himself. I'm not angry anymore but yep still confused and pretty bummed. Hopefully some listening in the meeting will help me just feel less alone.