One Year & Over Part 55
 

last part here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...t-54-a-20.html

D

Woohoo! Shotgun!

Shut up in the back!

Itchy, today I will mostly be in Spain! :lmao

Mags I hope you are able to get back into a routine at work, it must be awful having so many potential health triggers around.

FBL, I await confirmation of Frans resettlement at home and will pass on the good news to my mum, who has been thinking of her, since they are of an age.

SE, is there any way that you could FaceTime or Skype your grandmother? I'm sure you would both appreciate the chance for a face to face. I hope your bed rest does the trick.

Peej, it may be worth you reading about the Karpman drama triangle. It sounds like you are in the rescuer position surrounded by victims who will complain loudly and vociferously about their persecution, but don't really want you to find solutions. This can lead to real frustration on all parts.
Because of insecurities instilled in me as a teenager, I grew into an adult who needed to be needed. I would surround myself with victims and do my darnedest to help them. All that happened was I became drained of my energy and positivity, and would have continued doing so if counselling had not helped me to alter my outlook. The trick with victims is not to offer them solutions, but to ask them what solutions they might suggest. This eventually stops them seeking your rescue, as you are not the pushover they are looking for.
There are other ways to make a difference, that gives more positive results.

I just realised I have no idea what day it is! Anyone?

OMG, Toots - I had no idea what day it is until you asked;-)

SE, sending good thoughts and prayers for you, baby and grandmother!

FBL, good to hear that Fran is coming home. Sending all the good thoughts for her continuing improvement.

Mags, sending loads and loads of *hugs*!

Itchy, happy to hear you are nearly finished with the eye surgeries.

Sorry for those I missed this sleepy morning. My very best to all of you.
:You_Rock_

Yesterday was good news and bad news.

The good news, Fran is home at last! Got to pop-in and say "Hi" to her yesterday afternoon. She has her husband and daughter there to take care of her, with extra nursing care for a couple of hours each day. The rest of us will help out where needed.

The bad news, I restarted our server yesterday and got the dreaded "black screen of death". Luckily, everything still seems to be working. We knew we were running out of space, but I'd hoped to get thru the rest of this year okay. Our IT guy is out of town for a few days, but he already put together a proposal for a new server for the boss. He wasn't too happy that I brought it up yesterday, but his entire business is tied into that server and I thought he ought to know. If it crashes, we might as well shut down until it's back up and running. Hopefully we can get this resolved soon.

Have a Happy Hump-Day, overs!

good morning.

Itchy, I’m glad your laser surgery was a big success!

SE, I hope the hole heals soon. I’m glad there’s still plenty of fluid there for the baby.

FBL, I hope that this new chapter in your boss’s life draws him and Fran into an even deeper closeness.

Thanks for posting this, Toots. This is something for me to reflect on.

Fbl, so pleased Fran is home.

Toots, are you located anywhere near the river Ebro. I believe it runs down the country. It has some massive cat fish in it. Hubby used to go fishing there every year.

I’m at home and can’t go back to work until I’ve seen the works doctor on the 8th. To have a plan to break me back into work. :dunno: feel so useless. I will do some reading I think.

I just hope they come and fix the internet!

Good morning Overs. This week is dragging by.

Toots- thanks. Deep words. There is probably a subliminal element of that in there... some people love to **** and moan- but do nothing to improve their lot. I suppose one difference might be I do not want to do this stuff- but do so b-cause it seemed the 'right' thing to do. Your words have given me even more reason to think this stuff thru and dome to a decision before the next feral meeting (Monday).

Prayers SE
Good about your eye, Itch.
I had a chuckle last night. A guy at the meeting my friend/sponsor like to go to (he is 3 million years old and like routine..so every Wed we go to a 'spiritual' meeting, which is the same as any other meeting- except one person talks for a long time in the dark with candles) shared his spiritual awakening- where numbers and dates MEANT that something happened (he realised this decades later). My chuckle is that at present I am about 600 days sober. Doing a quick calculation- this means on my b-day, I will be 666 days sober.

hi guys ! It's been one of those weeks. I can't even keep up to myself for heavens sake ! and I'm not jumping any big hurdles. Just wanted to come here and say HI! Just feel good about coming here. It gives me a sense of relaxation. Hope everyone is doing ok.
Babs :Dance7:

Hi everyone !! I haven't been keeping up with this thread very good but wanted to say Hello. It is good to see some new faces. :) I am doing good. Almost 17 months sober and when my birthday comes up in a week I would have been sober all of age 35. which seems pretty weird. when you are drinking heavy and keep relapsing you don't ever think your going to have any of this stuff happen. It just seems impossible to get a handle on it.

SE- I am glad you are taking it easy and that the doctors are monitoring everything closely.

Morning overs

Have a good Thursday :grouphug:

Good morning Overs.

Hi Babs and Midwest good to hear you are okay.

Have a good day everyone.

PJ, Helen and Toots: I periodically have that happen. When I see someone going through difficult stuff that feels familiar, I want to help. However, not everyone wants help and it can become very negative for me as I feel more and more frustrated. Even though others may seem to be having similar experiences, they may not be willing or able to deal with them. When it negatively affects me, it’s time to pull back. I find that I need to be selfish and concentrate much of my energy on those close to me and myself.

One of the extra benefits of SR for me is that we can share our thoughts and feelings and be supportive but it’s also easier to keep it from becoming draining.

Hi Babs :wavey:

Have a good Thursday to all!

Have a Thunderous Thursday, overs!

hi guys ! I do feel welcome . Kinda had a bad day . But, I will pull through this
one . I probably just need a little treat and some good sleep.
Hugs
Babs

Hi Babs, I hope you have a good nights sleep and tomorrow is a better day.:hug:

Well folks,

the answer no one was waiting for- especially me. I have taken great care and time to reflect on ALL the comments offered here, by my psychoist and counselor on me getting very tired after running meetings- being abused and shoved and treated like a person who fixes other's problems- rather than a like minded aclie trying to do the right thing. So this is what I think.

These meetings I organise are there to offer and receive support for alcies to stop drinking and stay sober. By inherent default- the position and times of these meetings attract some very damaged people (me included). Such people when they get upset- become frustrated and turn to anger- and sometimes lash out. After all- where else and who else have some of these people got?
No where.
I could choose to walk away- patting myself on the back of a job well done, or that I do not need this crap or blah blah.
If I was so overwhelmed with fatigue or freaked out for my own safety- I would walk away.
I choose not to. Not because I cannot be replaced or because of I have a need to be needed or any other ego related agenda. I choose to stay- so I practice what I preach- patience, tolerance and doing the right thing by others.
Buddhism talks about being empty, selfless and seeing the common good over one's own wants. This is what I am attempting to do.
Also- these meetings are a microcosm of the outside world. So a good place for resistance training, getting out of my comfort zone and growing emotionally.
Plus some more mundane reasons.
So that is the way of it.
Now if you will excuse me I think I will take my beard for a walk.