I'm starting treatment next week. 3 nights a week for 3 hours a night for 3 months. They also recommended the Vivitrol shot. I am done thinking I know best, so I am going to do it.

I called my best friend today to tell him I am seeking treatment. He was supportive and kind.

I am ready to see what an alcohol free lifestyle can bring. I'll do whatever I am told and really try to make it stick.

Vipe, it sounds like we are on the right path.

I think it's going to work dude. I gotta go to bed, cause you know... dry wall at the new McDonald's ;). Just watched Game of Thrones now Twin Peaks. tomorrow morning... starts day 14 then on to a month.

I've got to get moving on the tasks I have to do, tomorrow. No time to waste. And as I said the dreadful state I was in lifted. I'm back to being halfway ok. Which is way better than terrible.

Vipe

Glad to hear everyone's moving on and committed :)

PC your hubby may lose a drinking buddy but he'll gain a lot more - he just needs time enough to see that :)

good going on the treatment Axe and on the life coach Viper :)

Hi RyGuy Daucus Rascal and anyone else I missed :)

D

Hi just a check in. I have no urges at 3pm. Thor be with me, it'll be 14 days. I'm headed for dinner food to bring home and maybe go to my sister's hacienda to possibly get a little bit of exercise and start making notes on what I need to do for the life coach.

Vipe

Little nervous about that Vivitrol shot. Most of what I have been reading is good, but hopefully I get no side effects.

Everyone says, "Do it along with treatment," which I will be doing.

I also don't plan on "testing" it. Some folks talked about "Oh, I had a few sips and didn't want any more." I had seen those TED Talks about the Sinclair Method, and I don't want to try that route. It's the same medicine, but I want to use it to completely abstain, not to un-learn drinking while still drinking.

I just got good news, though. I don't have to fly to California for 3 days for work tomorrow! I can stay here and buckle down.

Axe, the shot sounds a little nerve wracking for sure. I over analyze, and over research too. It's a curse. Go with your gut. If you think you need it do it. You could gain valuable time, and a clear head. Ultimately it's you that keeps you sober in the end. Anyway, I guess that's obvious.

2 weeks done here. I'm taking care of my sister's tomorrow. I still need to get cracking on the life coach stuff but at least I'm sober!! I did go out and get myself some nice supplies for journaling, homework, lists, affirmations, writing about my vision for me... all the things I need to do. Moleskin journals and good pens, etc. The coach said to make everything as enjoyable as possible. That's why I blew cash instead of using the composition books on sale at staples for 50 Cents!! stupid.

Night all :)

Viper

Glad you are getting help, axe. And that you've found a good place for help, as well, Vipe.

Axe, if the naltrexone doesn't do it for you, Campral is another option. Taking it 3x a day is a pain, but it works.

Dee, I hear ya. I think it would be easier if he weren't so sick. As I was driving home from work he asked me to stop at the party store and get him some rum. So I did. Didn't get anything for me - yay day one. lol.

Hi back, Rascal!

Morning two after my last "OMG I am not going to be able to drink for a while" moment before ramping up for treatment. Sleep was a little better, morning a little better.

I am going to do the shot, just hope it doesn't jam me up too much.

PC - good work being strong.

Vipe - remember how motivated you are right now and try to stay that way!

I will heed the same advice and seek recovery for the memory of my lows, not avoid it for any present highs. Need to stay diligent.

Ax, sorry to be a pain, but I don't understand what you mean by "not being able to drink for awhile". If you are expecting your upcoming treatment to cure you so that you can once again drink again, you are badly mistaken. You really have to get your mind wrapped around the idea of never drinking again!

True....and I'm Exhibit A!

PC, I am Exhibit B! One of the major reasons for my success so far is that I have accepted the fact that I will never be able to moderate my drinking. It took me more attempts than I can count until this simple fact finally sunk in. It sucks, but there are a lot worse things in life.

The AV has reared it's ugly head a few times lately,
but the main thing that keeps me from drinking is:
I am afraid that if I ever have another drink again, it would be a death sentence for me.
Axe, pay attention to what RetiredGuy and PurpleCat are trying to tell you----because it is the truth for us----we can never drink again. When you find "yourself" resisting that idea, it is the AV talking.

It's a funny thing, but re-reading my last post, I realize what my personal interpretation of AVRT is:
I see it almost like the AV is an alien who has set up camp in my mind, but the AV is NOT me. The AV used to be in control, but now I am in control.
From time to time the AV speaks up and tries to get my attention, but I ignore it---but most of the time these days it is sleeping. The more I ignore it, the smaller it gets. It helps me to think about it this ^^^way.

Yeah - It was definitely AV logic. I know I am not going to graduate a 90 day program and then be a normal drinker again. I've actually had to explain that to my dad, even though he's super supportive of treatment.

I plan on doing whatever they recommend to supplement my treatment during and after - AA or other meetings, CBT, the Naltrexone, or all of the above.

True that. :biggthump

Here, six months in the books!

Congrats on 6 months Rascal.

Daucus I think in Rational Recovery they actually teach the AV is not separate from us...

The Beast (whose voice is the AV) is diametrically opposed to the real, higher us...

I suspect thats because if the Beast was separate from us there'd be no need for any recognition techniques :)

I go for 'hey whatever works'. :)

D

That's a great way to think about it, Dau. ;)

Dee, I see where you are coming from, but my very logical mind doesn't quite get the illogic of drinking when you are bringing harm to yourself, so it makes sense that it's more of a little devil in my mind than anything else.

Congrats Rascal! Oh, to be in your shoes. I'll be there in February 2018.

Ran my evening errands with the car radio off and talked out loud to myself about what sobriety means for me tonight. Things like "The end of tomorrow's shower will be refreshing and I'll be ready for the day" rather than "Aw f*#k I have to pull it together for another day." I won't catch myself sighing all day. I will have a great appetite for lunch tomorrow. No sneaking to the lockable semi-private basement bathrooms (in our mini gym) to get sick. I can be really busy, yet handle it. No worries about smelling like alcohol, forgetting important details about calls or meetings, or communicating any lack of sharp thinking.

I can have the best week + weekend possible sober on my own before getting even more support, treatment, and a new outlook starting Monday.

Good place for a problem drinker / alcoholic to be. A running start...

Many many congratulations rascalwhiteoak!!!!!!!!!!!
:c011:

Rascal - way to go with six months! The Valedictorian of the class perhaps?