Hello, I would like to jump in on the July class. I haven't posted in a few days. Trying to stay busy. I'm on day 6. Having really bad cravings right now. Just keep thinking about how awful I would feel tomorrow and how I would have to WD all over again. The depression has somewhat lifted. Still having bouts of nausea and anxiety but I've always had anxiety. Not sleeping well. Not felling asleep until about 6am and then getting only a few hours. Trying to stay strong. I don't want to start over.

Welcome lily magnumcat fishoutawata (good to see you) and GreenThumbRN

welcoem too to anyone I accidentally miss :)

On Monday, which was day 2 for me, I went to my local convenience store, the one I buy my alcohol from. I was strangely excited about going up to the register with my ice creams (sans alcohol) and presenting them to the friendly girl who always serves me. I was going to non-verbally shout "hey, look I'm a normal person, not an alcoholic. See, no alcohol in my basket today. I don't buy alcohol every day, nope, not me". Imagine my shock when it was a completely different girl serving. Ruined my ice cream, almost.

Good morning. I'm not going to drink alcohol today. Nobody is going to force it in to me and I'm sure as hell not going to choose it myself.

I've got some work to do this morning and then I'll eat something nice for lunch and this afternoon I may just go to bed.

I'm angry and in a foul mood but I don't give because the prize of going to bed sober is within my reach

I hate to say that I'm back to Day 1.

I have a question about withdrawal symptoms. Lately I've been feeling so light headed, or fuzzy headed, as if at times my head is full of static, or as if my head could float away. And often with the lightheadedness is a slight headache and I feel as if there is a rubber band that's wrapped tight around my head. It's almost impossible to focus and I have nearly 0 energy when I'm feeling this way. It tends to come and go, but it's going on probably 85% of the time. It was pretty bad yesterday and I hate admitting that I finally had a couple of drinks just so I could feel better. Sure enough, after a little while my head cleared and I feel clear headed this morning. This may be a really stupid question, but is this withdrawal symptoms or possibly something else? I need to start looking for work soon (actually I was filling out paperwork for a job a few days ago and I was having a horrible time focusing), and I honestly think learning a new job in this condition if not impossible would be very difficult. If what I'm feeling is withdrawal, how long should I expect it to last?

PS I'm also mid-fifties with thyroid issues, and I'd been attributing some of the lightheadedness to that, but since my head cleared last night after having a couple drinks, I'm now thinking maybe it is withdrawal.

Could any of you tell me if you're having the same experience? Thank you.

I have let the side down and had some wine last night. I have been struggling over the last few days with missing my daughter so I'm back to Day 1 today. On a positive note I am having a lot more sober days than I used to. Feeling low today and I don't know if its because I drank wine last night or if it just a continuation of how I have been feeling over the last few days. I will definitely be having a sober weekend. I did try coming on here before I bought some wine, unfortunately it was at a quiet time.

Hi susie

maybe it's worth putting some time into thinking of other positive healthy ways you can deal with your loneliness and missing your daughter?

Sometimes life is hard, but to em thats all the more reason we shouldn't let our addiction use that to basically get its kicks and contribute to a slow self destruction.

D

Day five begins. Slowly coming back to life. Its going to take some time. My gkids stopped by yesterday. The oldest, messing around with her phone, took some pics of me, then sent them to me later. I was shocked at how horrible I look! Not only the weight gain, but I look older then my current years!. Alcohol ages us rapidly. Im not a vain person, but this is just another reason to ditch the poison. Im happy to say, zero cravings since my last binge. I kno they will come tho, and Im prepared. This last WD was truly my worst ever, and I sure as hell am not going back there. Weekend looks wonderful, weatherwise, so Im thinking of heading to the local state park , for some hiking, and sunbathing, swimming. Instead of losing more of my life, slowly dying on the couch. Im getting excited about doing things I use to love, and quit doing, just to be drunk. Welcome to all new, and those returning. Lets stay sober today.We have the power.

Good morning on Day #2:

Slept much better last night after getting absolutely no sleep the night before.

Shout-out to fellow Day-Twoers lovehoops and fishoutawatta!

I've been reading Annie Grace and Jason Vale incessantly (as well as some very inspirational posts from Dee on others on the SR Board). I am now forcing myself to sit down in the morning and record sleep, weight, physical activity, and my daily commitments in a Word document - gee, normal people do that every day! It is amazing what you ignore when alcohol is the center of nearly every thought you have.

Another shout-out to Givingup54 and Susiegirl - you slipped which now places you just one day behind us......in a month, no one will care about that day as long as we continue on our path to be free of alcohol.

I'm really trying to focus on just that.....being free of alcohol and all of it's absolutely unproductive and negative impacts rather than I am "depriving myself" of alcohol so I can be "sober." A new mindset change on my part that I believe will work for me, but then again, choose whatever works for you.

Have a great day and may it be free of alcohol!

PS - Watched Tour de Pharmacy last night which was a very silly 45 minutes of TV viewing.

WD is different for everyone. My first few days were always accompanied by that light headed feeling.

Instead of losing more of my life, slowly dying on the couch. Im getting excited about doing things I use to love, and quit doing, just to be drunk.

Very well said - I couldn't agree more. It is "sobering" to compare the person I once was with the person I have become slowly dying on a couch. Have a great day!

Susie and giving up, so glad you came right back.

Ty camino. You have a great day too!

I know what you mean about the alcohol aging us..and how!

Your post is getting me excited to get back to the land of the living, too!

The mindset change is definitely needed! Instead of thinking we are rewarding ourselves, we must see that we are destoying ourselves. For quite some time, I really believed I didnt care. That was my addiction talking.

Great! Im glad it helped you. :) TY

ROFL What a bummer, almost. Thanks for a good laugh!

Happy Friday fellow July'ers! Strong thunderstorms moved through my area last night, causing the freaked-out dog to leave me a little (not so little) gift on the floor when I woke up this morning. I felt so good, having rested well (despite the storm) and knowing that I hadn't drank last night, that I smiled, cleaned it up, and patted the mutt on the head and told her "it's okay". The realization that I CAN remove alcohol from my life, after 30+ years of it basically running the show, makes everything else seem trivial. I can deal with life's ups and downs (and unexpected messes), and press on undeterred. Sending out the best to all of you. Enjoy your weekends, and let's stay the course!

I agree Dee. I do run regularly and my diet is pretty good. I need to find a hobby in the evenings. I'm determined to be a better person than I was. A lot of things have changed for me already for the better. I will get there X

Thank you Camino! We got this! Let's roll!