Good morning folks.

Thanks SSOH. I missed my luncheon yesterday as my mom stopped in and we had a nice long visit instead.

This week is flying by for me! I noticed yesterday that my garden is in desperate need of some TLC. Maybe I will get out there today.

Hope you all have a good day.

What's this? The Undies' thread has fallen to Page 2?? When I first joined SR this was my go to thread, then I made some drunken posts and got banned. But through the forgiveness of Dee and Ann, I've been able to return. So if y'all don't mind, I just might join in from time to time...

I have the Sobertool app on my phone that counts my sober days, tells me how much money, on average, I’ve saved by quitting, and gives lots of good help and tips for staying sober. This morning it tells me I have 935 days of sobriety and have saved approximately $14,000.00! That money saved was based on beer prices when I quit. Anyway, at my niece's wedding last week I asked my son and nephew how much beer costs today as I haven’t been in a liquor store since I’ve quit. They both agreed that the average 12 pack is around $22.00! When I quit, I was paying around $15.00 for the same case of beer, and I drank that much most everyday, sometimes a little less, but most often a little more. So, at today’s prices, I would have saved $22,500.00! But like all addictions, the cost is usually not enough to get us to quit, but what a waste of money!

So, what does it take to find a quit that sticks? Ask 10 people who have found sobriety and you’ll probably get 10 different answers. But the one thing that will be constant is that we all got sick and tired of being sick and tired. And the reasons that we were sick and tired will be as different why we quit, but the bottom line is that we accepted that we had a problem with alcohol and that we could never pick up another drink. Sounds pretty simple, never have another drink, just try putting that into practice! But, the good news is that it can be done. You just have to want to be sober more than you want to drink, if you are, then quitting becomes easier, not instant, but easier.

Will an online forum be the answer for you? Who knows, but I can assure you of this, it will definitely help you. But no one can do it for you, the hard part is up to you. Never quit, don’t let failure at repeated attempts turn you into a loser, let those failures inspire you to try again, to keep trying, that’s what makes us winners!

Great post cowboy, I like your spirit! And damn beer is expensive in Canada.

welcome back cowboy :)

D

Hey Cowboy, good to hear you are doing well. I for one wouldn't be 4+ years sober without SR. Coming here helped me to understand the lies I told myself, and made me realise I was not alone. I believe a sense of isolation in drinking, especially in my gender, class, age group, the feeling you are the only one who cannot cope or has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and the embarrassment of owning it,, makes it difficult to reach out. Here I realised I was not the only one by far, and that other middle age middle class women struggled just as I did with many of the same things, though all in our individual ways. Being here humanised my condition for me. Stopped it from being a shame that I needed to keep hidden. I was around people who supported me in my failures and cheered my successes.

Hello Cowboy!

It's pretty amazing the money that we used to drink away. Somehow, we always found the money to drink, even if we skipped spending on all else.

Have a good day all!

It's embarrassing how "cheap" I was, hording every penny. I rarely pass by someone fund raising for a good cause now. It feels good to drop my pocket change into a charity bucket. It's symbolic of how I've been able to let go of my addiction.

Alcohol makes even the kindest of us self centered narcissists by the end. It is all about feeding our addiction. It's great to finally be able to see outside of yourselves and actually help others in need.

This is so true! Just yesterday my mom was saying how I am such a nicer person these days, and that I have more patience with other people. I can also feel it in myself; I'm not constantly sidetracked by thinking about when I can have a drink. I can focus on what others are saying and feeling.

I just joined. I'm on day ten.
 

Any words of encouragement from folks who've been at this longer?

Hi and welcome 3blindmice :)

The best advice I can give is don't drink ever.

I had to accept that I was an alcoholic and that I needed to take drinking alcohol off the table as a viable option for me, no matter what else was happening in my life...or in my head.

Use whatever support you have to make sure you don't drink, ever too.

When you're ready feel free to start your own thread in the main forum - you'll get more response that way :)

D

3bm, ditto Dee there, and stick around for plenty of support.

I've been having a very rough week. My son had a woodworking accident on Saturday and has lost the 4 fingers on his left hand. He had surgery on Sunday to clean everything up and stitch what he has left. He took the bandages off for the first time yesterday. He only has very short stubs left. He sent me pictures : (

I've tried meditation to try calm myself down but the thoughts and images just keep flooding my mind.

My husband doesn't make it easy. He is not dealing with it well. The thought of drowning myself in a few bottles of booze has crossed my mind more than once. I know it won't help and will only make things worse but I would love to escape for just a little while.

Gosh...I'm really sorry Barbs :hug:

prayers for your son and your family.

D

Thanks Dee.

Barbs I am so sorry you and your son have to go through this. Sending hugs.

That's awful Barbs! You and your son and family will be in my thoughts and prayers Barbs.

Barbs that must be such a shock for you and how awful to know your own child is going through something like that and you are not able to make it go away for them. Of course we all understand the temptation to make it all go away for ourselves emotionally with a few bottles, but I am happy to hear you are not listening to AV Barbs. Thankfully for him you are present in mind and heart, will you be able to see him?
I understand the kind of thoughts that go through your mind, but it is amazing what surgery can do and how adaptive we can be. Be a positive influence over the coming months.
If meditation isn't helping, perhaps journal your thoughts and fears for your son, sometimes writing it down takes the power from the thoughts. And look on line for positive stories of people who have recovered from other similar injuries. Be strong for your son Barb, and we will be strong for you. X

Good morning folks.

Well I finally did it. I know I've talked about getting rid of all my wine making equipment a number of times, but it finally all went yesterday. I took it all to my mom's (who is a very responsible drinker) and got it set up for her with one of the kits I had on hand. It was a little bit bittersweet. On the one hand it felt good to get it out of the house. But it felt so final, and that felt both great and awful at the same time. I just have to get all my empty wine bottles over there and then it is done. I now have a free work station in my basement for other obsessions - I mean hobbies! lol

Wishing you all a wonderful day.

Oh Barbs - I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what it must be like to know that your own son has gone through something like that. Wishing you both all the best. Does he live a long way away, or will you be able to visit him in person? Completely understand the urge to return to old destructive habits - but it's really good that you've recognised that for what it is!

Helen - wow! The wine factory is no more! Hopefully as the days pass it will start to feel like a liberation. Must've been strange to see the equipment there every day.

Hope you're all doing well. I'm inching ever closer to the one year mark, which feels strange - especially because my pregnancy makes me feel like I'm "cheating" a bit, as it effectively takes alcohol off the table for me. I wonder - if I wasn't pregnant - if I would be feeling strong urges to drink again. I'm certainly feeling like I'm counting sober days again, rather than weeks passing without thinking about it. Perhaps that's just because the year mark is approaching - it's made me think a lot about what I was doing this time last year. For most of August, I would wake up hungover and determined not to drink, then by mid-afternoon I'd be thinking "maybe", by late afternoon I'd be planning the specific drink I was going to have and by the early evening I'd be on my way to drunk. And repeat. It's a relief to be free of it - it was exhausting!