Hi Bandi - hi guys :)

D

Hi Dee :) I love your Pooh meme...it always gives me a chuckle.
Hope you are well and thanks for all you do. xxxx

I joined the May 2017 group. Yup, I messed up again.
I can't keep doing this. I don't want to feel this way ever again.

I miss you all and hope you are well..
xoxo

Oh Sunflower I am so sorry to hear that. I read your post in the May thread. Alcohol really got our lives in a quite a state. Were you building up to drink for a while or did it just hit you one day? Since yesterday I've been feeling it. I hate thinking about it, but I guess that's where I am now. I'm going to start listening to the hypnosis tape again too. We'll get through this together. Take care of yourself. It's fantastic that you are here so quickly.

Hope all you Jannies are doing well. Thinking of yas.

(((Sunflower))) I'm so sorry you drank but am very glad that you came right back.
Smart move joining the May class. You can help others by sharing your experience and stay on track. Sending you a Big Hug!! Please stay here with us as well. Once a Jannie, always a Jannie. :grouphug:

Hi Sandy, I understand what you mean by 'Thinking about it' It's a dangerous path and I short circuit that thought process by using a 'shutter' technique. It's not very scientific but it works for me.

My husband is a heavy drinker and probably an alcoholic, but that's not my part to label him. We also have a wine cellar and a bar/entertainment area in our home that is fully stocked. Fortunately I can avoid the wine cellar but several times each day I walk past full bottles and a wine glass display. When I knew it was my time to get and stay sober, it wasn't an option to get rid of the alcohol in the home.

This is when I developed my 'shutter' or 'blind' technique. I picture an open window (my brain) and in that window is the bottle. If I even begin to glance I quickly close the 'shutter' or 'blind' and never fully see the bottle or wine glass. If I don't fully see it and develop that picture or craving, it's easier to ignore it. It sounds weird but it works. I never, ever let that bottle fully materialize in my brain or psyche. It's a whisper and then I 'shutter' it and it vanishes.

I have many other issues to work on :( but it all starts with Not taking that First drink. That freedom from the obsession of thinking about drinking is such a relief and it literally saved my life.

What starts you thinking about drinking? And how do you shut it down?
I'd love to hear from you and others.

Wishing everyone a good Sober day or night. Love & hugs to all.....xxxx

Interesting technique you describe, bandicoot2.
It's similar to what I do; also it's the way I avoid looking at extraneous "clickbait" and ads on websites, to the point where family members have been amazed I didn't notice something that was there in plain sight!

Thanks for the technique Bandi. I start thinking about drinking when I just want to be "out of my mind". I used to say it was to relax but that's not true. My mind has been racing the last few days and instead of dealing with things I feel that I want to forget for a moment. I'm not craving alcohol as such, just something to "perk me up". Of course, It is the wretched AV hanging on. It doesn't last long but has been happening more the last few days. I shut it down because alcohol is not an option in my life. But I'm still left with what else can I do. I'm drinking sooo much coffee and consuming a lot of sugar. I understand this has a lot to do with my moods too. Thankfully, my research has allowed me to understand why I am feeling this way at times, but I am still working out the best strategy. And my husband has really started to realize how serious I am. Last night, I let out a huge sigh while standing in the middle of the room wondering what to do. He just gave me an understanding look and a huge hug. I didn't think about it again.

Hope you all have a wonderful day. I will too today. Take care everyone

Hi Olivia,

I am glad you are still checking in, and you can definitely do this. I think finding some extra support sounds like a good idea. I hope you are doing better health wise. Sending lots of love and prayers your way.

You are strong, you can do this!!!!

❤Delilah

Sunny,

I am so glad you keep coming back here, and posting. I know you can do this. Please continue to post here, and in the 24 hour group too.

❤Delilah

Hi Jannies,

Just caught up with the thread, sorry I haven't posted in here for a bit.

Bandi, I like the shutter idea, I bet that would work for lots of things in life. Right now I better figure out a way to shutter the Bakery cookies I bought!

For all of our Jannies struggling, hang in there, you can do it. Post on here, reread Dee's thread about recovery plans, get extra support from a doctor, counselor, recovery group. You have all shown you can be sober, keep working at it.

Thump, how is the new store going? Do you like it better?

I have been in NY for the past week. Last Thursday I got a phone call that my mom was very sick, and in the hospital. I came home from work, threw a bunch of clothes in a suitcase and hopped on a red eye. Her platelet count dropped to 2000, it is supposed to be 150,000-300,000. Her whole body broke out in bruises, and petichiae like someone would break out in hives from an allergic reaction, her arms and legs were the worst. They tried several platelet transfusions and IVIG drips, but her body didn't sustain them, and she dropped back down. She went for a bone marrow biopsy on Monday, and we are still waiting on some of those results, but right now she has a diagnosis of ITP, which they believe is being caused by her lupus. Yesteday, she went for a five hour infusion of a chemo drug, and today her count was up to 5000, still dangerously low, but heading in the right direction. The plan right now is to check her blood again in the morning and then make decisions about a possible release date. She will also be receiveing monthly infusions of the chemo to fight against whatever is messing up her blood. I am trying to figure out when I am flying home. I need to get back to my kids and work soon, but don't want to leave until I know for sure how she is doing, and that there is a solid plan in place.

I will definitely check in more frequently on here, and hope everyone else does too.

Has anyone heard from Odelle? I sent her a message a while back, and haven't heard back.

Sending lots of love to all Jannies, and of course to Dee, our honorary Jannie.

❤Delilah

Thanks Sandy- we WILL get through this together. I started listening again and I know it will help.

It just hit me last Monday- I had survived several social engagements with no issues. Then Monday was my husband's day off and I just got triggered. I try to stop myself several times- I even told him what was going on in my head and the AV battle I was playing. In the end I made my choice, had a few drinks and honestly I was okay the next day. I didn't beat myself up, I just stayed sober. Then a few days later it hit me again, that sneaky AV. And then the following day I woke up hungover and of course had to drink to get over the feeling. So it was 3 days and each day got progressively worse.

I obviously haven't accepted the fact that I can't drink EVER AGAIN. I get sober for a few months, think I am cured and then I try again thinking the results will be different. Why can't I just learn?

I did have dinner over at a best friend's house a few days before I relapsed and she and her husband both had a drink while my husband and I did not. I felt a bit left out. I felt a bit bored. I felt like "this is stupid- I should be able to just have one drink." But I can't. I just can't.

Wishing you well Sandy- how many weeks/months now and how are you feeling?

Lots of love to YOU dear friend...hang in there!

You betcha. I don't care how many freakin' years this takes me- I will one day be forever sober....

Thank you Bandi for your support and for sharing your technique- I will definitely try it!

My issue is the longer I am sober the harder it is to remember the "pain" and the "pain" is what keeps me from drinking in the first few months. After that I somehow need to find new tools I guess because what I have been doing isn't working..

Hi Jannies. It is so wonderful to have a "home" here. I'm very grateful to you all.

7 weeks for me today. I have felt the biggest bumps this last week or so. 90% of the time I feel great and the 10% I feel down and depressed. I have been posting on here more regularly and absorbing all the great advice on SR. And it's working. Last night was a perfect example. I came home from work tired and the hubby had invited a friend around for a BBQ without asking me first. His friend is great but I just wanted to chill because I was feeling down. I grudgingly helped prepare for the barbie and did some quick housework in my grumpy mood. Then I decided to try mindfulness. I'm not really 100% sure what it means but I started focusing on what I was touching, seeing, hearing and seeing. "The lettuce is green. It's wet. It's crunchy. I'm breaking it in pieces ......" etc. and low and behold I wasn't grumpy anymore and had a great night of preparing things for them. They also didn't drink as much as they normally do and had coffee! I was so proud of them. If I allowed myself to "chill out" because I was in a bad mood, I may have been in a bad mood for the rest of the night and drinking urges would have come.

Feeling strong and proud today, although tired after a 13 hour day!

Hi Jannies. It is so wonderful to have a "home" here. I'm very grateful to you all.

7 weeks for me today. I have felt the biggest bumps this last week or so. 90% of the time I feel great and the 10% I feel down and depressed. I have been posting on here more regularly and absorbing all the great advice on SR. And it's working. Last night was a perfect example. I came home from work tired and the hubby had invited a friend around for a BBQ without asking me first. His friend is great but I just wanted to chill because I was feeling down. I grudgingly helped prepare for the barbie and did some quick housework in my grumpy mood. Then I decided to try mindfulness. I'm not really 100% sure what it means but I started focusing on what I was touching, seeing, hearing and seeing. "The lettuce is green. It's wet. It's crunchy. I'm breaking it in pieces ......" etc. and low and behold I wasn't grumpy anymore and had a great night of preparing things for them. They also didn't drink as much as they normally do and had coffee! I was so proud of them. If I allowed myself to "chill out" because I was in a bad mood, I may have been in a bad mood for the rest of the night and drinking urges would have come.

Feeling strong and proud today, although tired after a 13 hour day!

Delilah, my thoughts are with you and your mum. I really hope a good medical plan of action to recovery happens soon. Thinking of you. Take care of yourself too as well as your mum. All the best.

Have a great day friends.

Great job Sandy!!!!! I'm so happy for you! :)
And it's wonderful to see you in the Unders thread. That was another lifesaver for me.

You betcha!! :)
You're here right now. That is key and I have no doubt you'll
Get It. Believe in yourself and always remember it's that First Drink that gets us......:grouphug:.

(((Delilah))). Continued prayers for your mother and prayers for a safe trip home today to your children, husband and work. You are a wonderful daughter and I'm so glad you could be with your mother this past week. Take care my friend.....xxxx

Good morning Jannies,

It's a beautiful sunny day with moderate temperatures so I plan to work in the garden, take a bike ride and watch the Kentucky Derby. I love the pre-race interviews and stories about the horses, owners, trainers and jockeys.

Snacks will be healthy as I cut refined sugar and flour out of my eating program.
It's only been one week but I definitely feel a difference in my energy level and my mood swings. In an odd way my refined sugar and flour consumption began to resemble my alcohol intake. Once I started eating sweets & treats I couldn't stop and that lack of control bothered me. So far I've watched four documentaries or short stories about sugar and the accompanying addictive qualities and it's very eye-opening.

Wishing everyone a good Sober Saturday or Sunday. :grouphug: