Congrats on 30 Robster! Feels good right? Day 45 here jamming to Gaga's new album SO good and SO different for her. She can really SAaang! Her song "Million Reasons" is so resonating with me. Have a great Saturday all.

Well done mate. You're doing really well. :You_Rock_

I was reading an article on here, signs you're an alcoholic I think it was called and one of them was that you go out of your way to visit different shops. That was spot on for me, absolutely spot on. It was a shock reading it as I just thought it was something I did. Where I live there are four shops within the local area. Often I would also buy from one shop and then walk to another so it looked like I was buying less to the shopkeepers, even though in the second shop I already had about six beers in my bag.

I doubt I was fooling anyone though. They must have known. I've had comments like 'take care' and 'long time no see'.

MBS Check In: Mentally tired, physically tired and spiritually sparked.

I shouldn't really be as tired as I am but perhaps it's the worry over Court monday. I also think it could be the medications I'm on. I mentioned in a previous post that I abuse my sleeping pills. My doctor only gives them out weekly so I can't take too many too quickly but as soon as I wean off the kratom that is what I'll be tackling. (I don't really take too many sleeping pills...I take them during the day for anxiety instead of sleep).

Meeting tonight. And I've come up with a plan to wean off the kratom with my mom's help.

Had a good day today... Went on a long walk this morning. Enjoyed my AA meeting - there were more women than usual, I don't know if it's a general thing or just where I live, but it's usually a ten to one ratio of men to women. I like the guys of course! But I sometimes find that I can relate more deeply or find shared experiences with the female members. I got a few numbers afterwards too.

This evening I went out to an event where there was drinking involved. I didn't feel tempted, and I found I could still make conversation with the people I was there with while sober. It wasn't the most enjoyable experience in the world but I'm glad to have dipped my toes back into social situations.

Anyway, that was my Day 33! I hope everyone here is feeling calm and well. :grouphug:

I used to do this too, Martin! I had three shops that I would rotate around. As my problem worsened, I added a few other shops to that list too. I would usually go in alone. Once I was in one of these stores with two friends...I went up to the checkout to buy cigarettes and the cashier said instantly 'No wine today?' in a surprised tone. My friends laughed, but I was sooo embarrassed. It wasn't funny to me because I already knew it was a problem, but I was barely hiding it at that time.

In my worst days, I just stopped caring. I remember dropping and smashing a bottle of red wine in the supermarket aisle (drunk) and just acting like nothing had happened - walking back to the shelf, picking up a new bottle and taking it to the check-out. Red-eyed and pissed. Yeuchhh :(

Congrats on day 33! In half an hour I am on day40. I hear ya about attending some meetings with many more men then women. In my area I've even gone to a couple where I was the only woman. But after attending more and more meetings I've discovered the ones that tend to have a more balanced gender attendance. And now that I'm more comfortable in AA it doesn't bother me so much anymore if I end up outnumbered by men in a meeting or two. It's great you got numbers! Now you can make a girlfriend or two so you don't have to go alone :):You_Rock_

Hey Martin1 - Glad the assessment is done. You got through it!

I'm having a very tough time with work. I work in a creative industry and have NEVER felt less inspired than I do on this project. I'm dreadfully behind on a deadline as a result. It's difficult not to make the connection to stopping drinking - having a glass of wine helped. Eek.

CuteNGayYay - I freakin LOVE Gaga! Don't have the new album yet, but will check it out. Maybe that can be my reward if I ever drag myself through this current project.

She was AMAZING on SNL tonight. Check it on YouTube. She did my fave 2. 'Million reasons' and 'a-yo' :)

Good morning. Day#40 for me.

I've been gathering paperwork and such for Court tomorrow. Last thing I need to do is write a letter myself. Without going into a lot of detail, I'll be going in tomorrow armed with a LOT of paperwork proving my case. And I'm not done collecting all the paperwork yet .... there is more to come if we can't come to a resolution tomorrow.

I HATE this Court stuff. As soon as I think about it I feel like cutting. I hate the legal system (and medical system) and hate the trauma and pain it has caused me. Yes, I know that sounds like a bad attitude but I don't care anymore how it sounds. It's how I feel.

Good morning folks.

So many of you are doing so great! Windancer you sound so prepared. I'm guessing you could never have been this prepared 2 months ago.

Day 3 here. I am back to counting days. Part of me is feeling disappointed in myself for being back at day 3 but it could be worse. I went to a social function last night where I would normally have had a couple of glasses of wine. Because of the habits I have learned since Labour Day I immediately had a non-alcoholic answer when my husband asked what I wanted to drink (soda and cranberry). The funny thing was I later noticed many women there with drinks that looked identical to mine. Made me smile. And as it turned out no one at my table was drinking booze, and the folks that I know as big drinkers were drinking wine or beer but it didn't bother me at all and I didn't feel like I was missing out. I feel like I've finally had a breakthrough.

Have a good one everyone.

Helen, you are quite right. No, there is no way I could have been even close to prepared for this two months ago and for that I am grateful. Thanks for pointing that out :)

This is fantastic, Helen :). It took me years to get over the feeling of"missing out" and thinking I could never have fun or a social life without the sauce. Now, both of those ideas/feelings have proven to be quite false. So I am happy to read about that in your post. Don't be hard on yourself for day 3 ;)...you are making progress and working on improving yourself and your life by making changes and that takes courage and strength. I, and countless others, have more "day 3's" then we can count. :You_Rock_

I got a delivery of 100 bales of hay for the horses today so that is helping me focus on something else other than Court. Actually working my arse off stacking hay is a welcome break from focusing on writing my letter to the Crown and Judge. And I'm amazed I am sober. Not that long ago this would have sent me on a drinking bender from hell with very dire consequences.

It's past midnight in Britain now. So I'm on day 6.

Going to bed now hope everyone is well and sober.

Day 47 since its after midnight. Hope everyone had a great weekend and has a good Monday!

great going you guys :)

D

Hi Guys! Just checking in. Hope things go well for you today Windancer. Xx

Good morning folks.

Day 4.

Keeping you in my thoughts today Windancer.

Have a good one everyone.

Thank you Helen & SSOH :).

MBS Check In: I'm feeling mentally sharp, physically ready for more, and faithful in my spirituality. Not bad for a day of Court.

Good luck today Windancer :)