Congrats on your 30 in the midst of all of that JL :)

D

Great job, Supersonic! To what do you owe your success?

OMG, Forester, I too have been having crazy dreams and last night was no different. Not sure what's going on, LOL, but last night the common theme was my ex's cheating on me (they really did). You could be right about purging junk. I didn't really process stuff when my 2nd husband left me and now I am....

Karen, I'll be cleaning today after work so I can spend time with my granddaughters tomorrow. I'm so looking forward to it.

I'm feeling better today but still sneezing and stuffy. Allergies.

Not much going on at work. I have a few meetings to schedule and a couple of papers to write up and that's about it. I'll listen to some webcasts about keeping out company secure and maybe read a book from our library to fill in our "personal improvement time" we get every week.

Back to meetings...talk later!

Congrats, JL!!!!

Just checking in at the end of day 39. Been a good week and the AV has been behaving. Had a lot more energy this week and definitely not been as down. Hoping that continues. Hope everyone is doing ok and has a good sober weekend.

Hey there. Day 54 over.

Forester - Hilarious what you said about my brother. Hehe. Anyway, he means well. Obviously clueless here.

SunFl - Thanks!

My friend is still in the hospital. It must be terrible and lonely. Not anyone to really visit her. I feel overwhelmed. I was rude today with her. Im house sitting at a luxurious place. I wanted some time to myself. She needs clothes and things that I guess I'll be buying. I blocked the hospital's number, then felt like a creep. I guess I'll go there tomorrow or Sunday. Really bad timing for me, for her to be in this spot. Like I said, I have no life, I need to build one. Only enough strength for one here.

Anyway, I've got the huge dog at one end of the couch and The Hobbit on a 60" 4K going. I had some grilled chicken sausage and grilled peppers on a big roll tonight with chips. Then strawberries and star fruit.

I'm waiting on the Department of Transportation to put together my Individual Motorcycle Training/Certification. I'm getting it from The State for free. I've earned it. The normal class would freak me out. Crammed into 2 long days. We'll see how it goes. I might get a little 650cc multipurpose bike. Fill your life with healthier things right? It's funny, I was reading Rider Magazine in a waiting room, getting my brakes fixed. There was an add on the back cover with a guy on a bike in a desert. The slogan read, 'Cubicles Are Dangerous.' Haha.

Ok exhausted. Waking up at 6:30 every morning. 2 months ago it was 11am and hung over.

Night

Sorry to hear your friend is still in the hospital, Viperidae. I know how hard it is to be sympathetic all the time but you're doing your best...more than most people. Good for you :-) Congrats on Day 54!

Horrible night sleeping. I couldn't fall asleep to save my life. I was up until 2:30am and finally crashed ( more crazy dreams) so I ended up sleeping in until 9. Hopefully tonight will be better.

Change in plans this weekend. I texted my dil for the girl's game schedule and she replied, "They're all over the place. Can you come next weekend?" Turns out, the games are in the city my 1st ex lives, father of my children. When that happens, they usually make plans with each other for lunch and dinner, and even spending the night so the girls are closer to the games. I guess I don't fit in.... It's not the first time. The girls usually have a kids party and then the relatives come over for cake and ice cream on another day. I'm not invited to the adult party because the girls hang around me too much and don't pay attention to the other grandparents...I kid you not, my dil's words.

So, today will be cleaning the house, sorting through the basement and putting things in their proper place so the workers can get started repairing the flood damage. I HAVE to start exercising so it's on the treadmill right after I'm done here.

I'll be checking in occasionally just to stay strong!

Talk later! Hope you all have a sane, sober Saturday :-)

Congrats on 30 days JL! And on 39 Oswin! And 31 Exdriker! And 33 5up! And anyone I may have missed. Keep posting everyone, we can inspire one another!
I made it through the wine and cheese yesterday. It was super tough. I called my sponsor and she helped a lot.
Where is Sunflower? I hope she's okay!
Viper, you're making good choices that I know must be hard to make. Inspiring for me. I have a problem with enabling people. I know it's not good, but am not sure how to stop. I don't want to become selfish. It's a thin line to balance, isn't it?
Optimist, I really feel for you with your grandchildren situation. I get left out a lot, too. It makes me sad. I am hoping that as I stay sober it will get better, or I'll at least be able to handle the emotions of it better.
I have a busy day ahead. I've been chilling out not getting much done today. I needed that. But, now it's time to get it in gear. First, I need to find a good meeting to go to today and build the rest of the day around that.
Happy Sober Saturday everyone!

Glad I went to a meeting this morning.
Gonna be a hard day.
Gotta drive to my passed brothers house. Family dividing up his stuff.
God I hate this crap. Wife's pushing me or I'd not even go.
Fast forward half a day please !!

Not having the best day. Feeling really down. Still not drinking, but got that feeling in my stomach again and feel very on edge. Amazing how yesterday felt like nothing could go wrong and today feels all doom and gloom.

Was a rest day from running today and think that's a release for me at the moment. Like a form of therapy. So will be going out in the morning and hopefully shake this feeling.

Sorry, JL...hope it goes well. :grouphug:

Oswin, some days do that to us. Please stay strong and know we're here for you :-)

Calling it a day. Finally got my rear end on the treadmill this morning and while I only did 2 miles, it was more than I've done in weeks. I think it will really help me with my afternoon sleep cravings, which have been my binges in the past. I felt great all day today, got a lot accomplished and am now ready for bed.

Night all!

I'm glad were through another day together- and SOBER !!
Today was rough. Hurt me.
That being said, I got to talk to my birthday boy 18 today, about alcoholism in a way that never was possible in the past.
I'm very humbled by that, today.
He's back at his moms house area now for a birthday get together .
Kids wife and I are home finally, winding down.

Hi all. Feeling okay today, day 34. I feel a little bewildered by the false expectations I set around sobriety. It was as if I expected to never drink and simultaneously have every piece of my life corrected, the instant gratification I always talk about wanting. As if one month of time would be the ticker tape. Close up this horrible chapter and start anew...new job, car, apartment, relationship, personality. These were all silly and false ideas. The only expectation of sobriety is to stay sober. Now sure I may feel healthier, somedays happier, somedays miserable but I have come to accept that any new opportunities I am awarded during sobriety I have to earn. I don't just get a participation trophy here. It's not as if bossman is going to say "oh ex you are sober now here is that big raise" and odds are I won't walk out on the street and find my life partner tomorrow. And yet I am oddly humbled and disappointed by this as if my AV wants something else to be addicted to, a job or a relationship. I have to remember to focus on my healing and my sobriety plan before anything else. I have to make myself my own priority and it's been years since I did that. And I'd rather not dig that deep to fix myself. I know what's lurking in the shadows. But I have to clean out my inner cobwebs and find myself and I hope you all can too.

Good days and bad days all around today but know that we are all here as friends and we can do this together.

I feel like I'm 'focusing on myself' , as well , more than I did before.
For me I was actually consumed with "self will run riot"- just a runaway train of fear and nonstop terrible flood of emotions. I feel that less and less, or either I just become aware that it's not like that all the time.
So glad !
I hope our weekends going ok for everyone.

Hang in there, Oswin. I hope today is better for you.
I'm glad you got through that JL. Sorry for the loss of your brother. Big hugs to you!
I am getting ready for work. Short day today, but I have so much to do. I'm going to meet my sponsor to do the second step, too. And get the assignment for doing the third step.
I loved your post, Ex. I feel just like that a lot of the time.
I'm going to try and make the best of today. Keep recovery first, use my time wisely at work and remember to stay close to my HP.
Happy Sober Sunday everyone!

Hi Oswin, hang in there. Everything changes day by day, up and down. The roller coaster moods will smooth out eventually.

Not sure what day I'm at.. but I pretty sure over or at 30!!

Visiting family without the spouse which I'm thrilled about

Catch up with all posts and y'all later xoxoxo

At IHOP w family this morning.
Freaking nut house !!! Lol

Hi everyone, just checking in for the new week. Day 50 here... that's a record for me. Longest sober/straight period since I was a teenager. Wow.

Thanks to you all. Had a good run, then went food shopping. Then had people round for food, I've had a better day, but ended up surrounded by drinking yet again. I had a real urge to join in. I'm so glad I ignored the AV, my husband is passed out in bed, his best mate was so drunk he could hardly walk. They just looked and sounded ridiculous by the end of the night.

I think I read on here that the AV will pass if you just distract yourself, it really did work. I know if I say yes to one glass it's game over and back down that path I will go.

Hi Ex. Yes, I understand wanting instant gratification. I thought I would be fit, have lots of energy, etc. After 1 mo!. I'm just now feeling my brain is working a bit better at 30 days and coming out of the fatigue. I'm sure it will be much better at 60 days xoxo

Karen, yes its hard to know where to draw a line. I wish I had more monetary power to help her. The thing is she's a good 'kid.' She didn't ask for any of this mental illness and her parents dumped her at a women's shelter in a crappy city at 18 years old because they didn't want to deal with her being sick. They're a middle class family with the ability to help her. She's been an amazing friend, never took drugs, doesn't drink, etc. She's special, like a dreamy artist. The problem is this is the worst I've seen her and I'm trying to make HUGE changes.

I went to a town at the shore today to my buddy's house, and floated in the ocean with my him on big tubes. The neighborhood he's in has a lot of history. Jack London wrote Call of the Wild there. A book I need to reread because I don't remember anything about it. My legs got roasted in the sun while floating. Oouucch.

Ok. Tiiiiieeeerrrrddddd. Tomorrow is a new day. A lot to get done. I've got an appointment for contact lenses tomorrow. I've never worn them, but I want the option. Hoping it works out for me. Daily disposable are the easiest. So I'm going with that.

Viper

I've been watching The Night Of on HBO. It's very good. A true story. I started binging on it and got shafted because there are only 7 episodes. But tonight is episode 8, and hour and 45 minutes. Some of the episodes have been long. John Torturro's best role ever.

Anyway 10 minutes to wait. Got my salami and cheese and fruit, crackers, ready. I had breakfast 12 hours ago. Hungry.

I don't know how someone could do that to their child, Viper. I just can't wrap my head around it. They must be crazy. I can't imagine how much that hurt her, either. She's lucky to have you. But I sure do see how you have to put your own recovery first. Without that you lose you and she loses you, too. I wish I could be a bigger help. The movie and snacks sound wonderful! I confess, I had chocolate cake and butter pecan ice cream for dinner! And am watching nature documentaries. On Thin Ice was wonderful.
My sponsor did not go over the second step with me. We went over the first step and she gave me homework for the second step. I am having a hard time being patient! This is my life we're dealing with here. But, I know part of it is that I have to quit trying to keep myself sober. It never worked for me. So, I'm taking direction, up to a point. I am still working on my third step, but will do the second step homework, too.
The second step is "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity". I believe that is God, but I know God works through others, too, and so I'm having faith that plugging along like a turtle with a broken leg will keep me sober.
Some of you may remember the assistant that was giving me so much trouble a few weeks ago. She quit today!!! Handed in her two week notice, very nicely. I was very sweet about it, told her I would miss her, but deep down my heart was singing, "Ding Dong, the witch is dead!!"
Sweet dreams to all!

How about THAT Karen !!
I'm eating a Klondike bar at almost 11pm !
( off on Mondays) . Just laundry school shuttling, and a meeting.

Congrats to everyone on hitting those milestones and making it through the tough times :)

Have a great week guys :)

D

Forester, congrats on 50! I just finished day 51. I think Longest for me since I was teenager. I wish things were getting easier though.

Congrats to you also htsn. Well done mate.

Sorry you're finding it hard on an ongoing basis. I started seeing a counselor who has helped me immensely. I wish that on one of my 100's of earlier attempts I'd sought personal help, it has made all the difference.