I am sorry you had to endure a fight when you got home, Duff, but you did do the right thing.

Why does your attorney want you to stay in the house until the settlement? How long does he think it will take before you reach a settlement?

(((Duff)))!

Gilmer, as I recall from my divorce, when one moves out of the home before things are settled, it can be seen as abandoning one's rights. I don't know if that's still the case or not.

There are a few reasons, Gilmer. In Florida it's not necessarily evidence of abandonment but it could be viewed that way so you have to be careful. I could leave now and move into a rental but if I were to buy something I would have to have him sign off that it's not a marital asset. But the biggest hurdle is that we haven't come up with a parenting plan for the boys yet - if I leave and take them out of the house it could cause big problems (in an extreme case kidnapping!). And there's no way I'm leaving my kids. He's dragging his feet to work out a parenting plan so here we are - sigh.

And if you're wondering why I'm leaving his parents bought this house. He's clearly not leaving and I want nothing to do with this house or neighborhood because they live 2 houses up the street! I'm so ready to move on with my life.

How much longer? A couple months?

Pick your battles. If it's not a life-or-death issue, just go along with him while you're still under the same roof. Don't give him any extra axes to grind.

Maybe he'll be more benevolent and speed things along rather than punish you for spite.

At least I hope so. :hug:

Exactly, Gilmer! I've actually found a certain amount of peace through all this. In my mind there's no more reason to fight - we were always trying to convince the other that they were wrong which, of course, never worked. Now that the decision's been made I see no need to continue fighting. My sis in law kept mentioning how calm I seem -- it really is liberating and I totally agree about picking battles. The calmness seems to have reached into all areas of my life. Still, there will remain this undercurrent of tension until it's settled. I'm estimating 6 more months at the most -- which as we all know will come and go in the blink of an eye.

Sounds like you've got a lovely attitude, Duff. I'm sure it will pay good dividends.

Duff, out are thinking so clearly! :hug:

I guess now you have an end in sight, knowing this is not a situation you are stuck in for life, you can afford to turn the other cheek. Fact is, the more you do that, the less he will pick fights anyway as he is no longer being 'rewarded' with the expected response. Overall life ought to be calmer if you continue letting go. You are an amazingly strong woman Duff, never let yourself forget that in the midst of all this.
You certainly find out who your true friends are during and after a divorce, so lean on those who are around for you.

How's things going Trachy? X

Budd, have Velvet eaten you (literally) out of house and home yet?? Molly used to chew the skirting board and the drywall on the corners! She grew out of it!
Hugs everyone. Xx

Hi Everyone!

Things are going well here, work has slowed down, no more 7 days a week, in fact I have had a few days where we got sent home early.

Still busy working around the house. I'm not really in any hurry so it may take a long time to get what I want done.

Velvet is calming down a bit, I can keep her in the house now as long as I am home. When I'm out she stays outside or else she will tear the place apart. Max still absolutely hates her.

Duff, I'm happy that the hurricane didn't hit you hard like it could have, you did the right thing getting the kids out of there.

It's now a done deal: my son got his booster shots once and for all! :headbang:

yay!!!!!!!!!

Congrats, Gilmer :D

I had a happy dream about alcohol: there was a ship that was sinking, and everybody deserted it except the captain. He had been an alcoholic, and he could have been rescued if he drank with a bunch of people--but he refused and ended up going down with the ship,

Later his valor and integrity were recognized, and they built him a gigantic memorial.

Hey, Babs! How are you doing? How was your time away?

Gilmer, I love that dream and the meaning of it!

hi there Gilmer and everyone ! I'm doing just fine.
My sister was here and then I went out of town for a night and came
back last night. I go with a bunch on a bus trip over night to a casino and there
are several of us that have a spouse that don't like casinos and therefore we all have a good time. and they have wonderful food ta boot !
I've had no cravings lately and when I do they don't last too long.
Duff so glad things are going fairly good. You are doing a great job with everything. My divorce was mutual and things went really well. I'm grateful
for that.
well, just wanted to say hi to everyone ! hugs to all of you.
Babs :wave:

Thank you for the encouragement, Babs. And all of you! It means so much to me right now :tyou

Hi Babs :wavey:

Duff :hug:

Hi to all!

I got the follow-up MRI yesterday. No phonecall of doom this morning, so I'm assuming I'm off the hook. :)

Fantastic news, Gilmer!!!! Thanks for sharing - now go enjoy a nice worry-free evening.