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Class of April 2014 Part 22 |
First, wow, I'm good! |
Mariah, please don't get disheartened. I tried many times unsuccessfully, to quit the wine but this particular time it just clicked. The important thing is just not to give up trying. I don't believe you have to hit rock bottom before you can escape this dreadful disease (i certainly didn't anyway), but i do believe that it helps to fill that psychological space with something meaningful. For me it's a spiritual path. I like to think I've swopped an unhealthy destructive spirit for a life affirming, loving spirit. Now, I love my journey so much that I can't see any reason to turn back, but it did take about 9 months of sobriety for that inner change to happen. UP, my suggestions for some weekend planning would be a mixture of: physical activity (walking ?) spending at least an hour each day outside; Reading something uplifting and positive; A cup of coffee at a coffee shop, with a newspaper to read. Contact with a friend, either face to face or by phone; Creating something nice for a meal; Clearing out a cluttered space (a drawer or cupboard; An hour or so of housework; Church or other spiritual activity; Doing something nice for a stranger. My bet is you'll be joining Obo, with the football though? :groan Wimbledon is on here, we have high hope for our Andy, Come on Andy, you can do it! |
Morning Fools Mariah, I agree with free about not having to hit rock bottom to succeed. You may need to try a different plan. Unfortunately I did hit rock bottom, but I think it was necessary for my eyes to be opened to all the lies in my life. I'll try and do something this weekend free. It's 4th of July weekend so there will be plenty going on. Also I really do enjoy fireworks. Fireworks are illegal in Delaware, even sparklers. O.o Apparently we can't be trusted with anything. That doesn't stop people from getting them. Have a great day everyone. |
Thanks for the new thread D |
Morning Fools, 9.27am, at the desk, Mariah: There is no failing on this journey. I've been sober for 14 months now. The same thought patterns still occur. I'm coming to the conclusion that whether or not I drink really relates to my reactions to everything that goes on inside my mind. I still have all these thoughts, but as I'm sober, I don't react to them anymore. There is no doubt I'm physically and mentally much better off than I was..... But... It's just the awareness there's a problem is the success here... That in itself is a miracle. There is no failure in not being able to get a leash on this for a time, as in reality, that is the name of the game.......innit! I think you're doing an amazing job, you are brave enough to admit your mistakes and strong enough seek another angle in finding a resolution..... :You_Rock_ UP: Just a thought....... Do you think if you had your dental surgery, that you would really see a lift in your spirits. A move towards the future where you were not afraid to meet new friends etc....???? Should we start looking for a solution to that.........:smokin: Dee: Thanks for the new thread....... gunning for first on the next one!!!! No one likes the English winning anything....!!!!!!......... speaking of which... Freein: Ashes cricket getting started... I'm going to the 2nd test at Lords, Day 4!!! Yes Obo's being let back to Misery Island again, taking little Anna to go and meet her pommy cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles etc....... 3 weeks of listening to convict jokes, history lessons and cultural slurs..... :headbange Rocks: Hi there...........:c006: Adna: What's the plan for the weekend.... Hope all are well out there... stay tuned................. |
That's a tough question to answer obo. I know that it would help reduce the fear and anxiety. I'm always thinking that people will judge me, joys of my childhood. I can't be sure that I will make a lot of new friends, I've never really had a lot of friends ever. I'm a big mess here but I'm working on things and trying to move forward. As a matter of fact I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and I will discuss a few things with her. I'm the only one who can get this moving in the right direction. I need help from others, doctors and such, but it's my life and no one else can live it for me. |
:scoregood |
Hi everyone, I'm both happy and surprised to report that our city council had an emergency meeting today about fireworks and the current fire danger, and agreed to a partial ban. A city wide ban would make even more sense, but they did ban them on the side of town where I live. The hills where I like to walk are convoluted and forested, and are a major fire hazard right now, so that's the area that is the biggest cause for concern. I live a few blocks from that area, but am still within the ban zone. I don't know how they'll be able to enforce it, but I am definitely relieved. I appreciate all of the commiseration I got from all of you. |
good news adna :) D |
Yes, that is good news Adna. Obo, hope you enjoy your Pommy visit! There's a group of Aussie tennis fans at Wimbledon at the moment, bemusing the crowds with various cheering rituals. One of them was interviewed yesterday, and asked what he thought of the weather (yesterday was the hottest day in July EVER), and he likened it to a spring day in Os! Just off to work now. Intending to finish the week strong, then in for the Bargain at the weekend. Love to all Fools. |
That's good news adna. Hopefully people will not be foolish with their fireworks. I know, wishful thinking. Drunks plus fireworks plus extremely dry conditions is never a good combination. Saw my doctor today, she has ordered a bunch of blood tests to determine the cause of the fatigue I've been experiencing. |
Have a great weekend guys :) D |
:nyr:nyr:nyr:nyr:nyr: FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN FOR THE BARGAIN......... stay tuned.................... |
Thanks for all the words of encouragement.....mean so much to me. I am home & have a 3 day week-end in front of me, so thankful for that. My youngest Son has been home 1 night since school got out, has been staying & working with his Dad, so I asked him earlier this week to spend the week-end with me. It was 109 here today & expected to be the same the next couple of days, so I reserved a cabin on a river on the coast & we are headed that way tomorrow. It's nothing fancy,......you take your own bedding & use a communal bathroom/shower room. There is a fire pit for each cabin, so a bit of camping, but a bed & a lock on the door. Very nice, clean facilities & under $100 for two nights. There is a nice swimming hole there, which sound so nice right now & a big fireworks show on the beach Saturday night. I am worried about leaving my garden, but I will water really good in the am & my other Son said he would water for me tomorrow night. I'm glad you talked with the Doc today Up & that tests are being done. I think all of Freeins suggestions are great.....not easy for us to step outside our comfort zone, but I think giving some of those a try would definitely help you to feel better. Wishing you all a good, safe week-end. |
Mariah, that sounds a lovely way to spend the weekend. We were promised a heat wave, but instead we've had thunder storms. Quite dramatic and beautiful in their way. I'm on a training day today, which should be fun, plus I get to wear my jeans as a bonus. Have a good end to the week everyone. Happy 4th July to all our American Fools! |
Hey Things got extremely dark for me...I'm ok...just horribly unhappy again |
Sorry to hear that ST, I hope it passes quickly. |
Thanks...I'm feeling better and that's why I'm posting again...this just isn't the place for me to complain about dark stuff that really isn't even important. I'm learning that I seriously need to take control over my happiness and feeling well...in starting to see that it really is a choice...and today I'm choosing to feel better... |
I'm glad you're feeling better ST :) D |
Thank you D hope all is well on the fronts on your end <3 |
all good here ST - thanks :) D |
ST, you seem to be able to manage these troughs incredibly well. You're an inspiration. It's good to hear you're on the up again. It's a quiet day for me today, just pottering around the house and garden, catching up on a few chores. Tomorrow I'll be visiting my parents, see what mischief they've been up to while I've been away :) I was a bit premature with yesterday's happy 4th declaration, I was obviously a bit confused. Anyway, hope you all have a happy 4th today! UP, what are you up to this weekend? |
Don't worry UP, I won't be getting off the meds without a doctor's help. I'm going to stay on my current regiment until I can find someone to do regular follow up with. It's a shame they've gotten rid of psychiatric services at the university. I think it really highlights the prejudice against mental health. It's always something that can be cut. Glad you're following up with your doctor too and I do hope you can get your dental surgery figured out. Mariah! I was really scared for me too. I was falling apart and so afraid of sitting with myself for fear of what I'd find. I agree that sobriety is the most important accomplishment. It's the only thing that's allowed me to become more resilient in other areas of my life. Do keep on fighting. I was reading an article about therapy the other day and it had a good metaphor about the recovery process. They described it as annealing (like in glass blowing): you get heated up until everything is in flux and then you reach a stress relief point where the glass is able to start cooling down and reach a new and more stable shape. In the early days I definitely felt like I was bouncing between extremes in a way that almost felt worse than when I was drinking. But the end result has been this new more stable self. And I know there's a way for you to find that relief! free! obo! adna! hope you're all having a good weekend. glad there was a fireworks ban adna. A quiet day sounds lovely free. ST I'm sad to hear things are dark and stormy. I agree that self care is the most important thing. You're ultimately in control of helping yourself to feel well. My 4th of July weekend is pretty low key. Certainly in for the bargain! |
Happy 4th July RockStonic |
enjoy the weekend gang :) |
Happy 4th y'all! Thanks Freen- I'm trying to I worked all 4th of July for the first time in my life and it sucked lol...13 hours none the less...I'm not too depressed I missed out on the celebrations cause it's an extremely drunken holiday, even more in this bar/beach community I live in...I bought home some decent cash and stashed it away and now I'm watching the fireworks from my window, really nice view of the bay I actually don't have to go anywhere! Didn't really think about the 4th of July when I was moving in, it's a pleasent suprize!!! I have more to post my fiancé keeps calling me and I don't want to loose the post...more in a moment :) |
Rocks, I think it's wise to continue with the meds you are on until you find a new Dr. It seems terribly irresponsible of your university to have done away with psyche services. If you liked the person you were seeing through them, you might be able to see him/her as a private patient. Freein, I hope you have a good visit with your parents today. I'm sure your attentiveness really means a lot to them. Mariah, I hope you had a wonderful time camping this weekend, and that it felt good to escape the heat. Solitary, I'm glad things are starting to look up again, and even more so that you now recognize that your lows are temporary. You have come so very far over the last year or so. Obo, I don't know what Pommy means, but I hope you have fun with your relatives, convict jokes and cultural slurs aside. I bet they are thrilled at the prospect of meeting Anna. Up, how's your weekend going? I hope you got to enjoy some fireworks last night. Hi to Dee and Soberwolf, and to anyone else who reads this. I'm happy to report that my town did not burn to the ground last night, the fireworks ban was successful, the licensed professional displays still took place, and people still had fun. We had a 4.2 earthquake yesterday morning while I was setting up my booth at the market. I didn't notice it, my booth always shakes while I'm setting up, but everyone I talked to who was indoors when it happened felt it. I had a pretty successful day down there, but the best part was seeing someone wearing a piece I made almost 30 years ago. I like the thought of my work standing up to time, and it feels really good to see examples of it. After I got home I turned on the pay per view broadcast of the second to last Grateful Dead show ever, and was feeling nostalgic and kind of sad watching it. It was really bumming me out that I couldn't pull off going to Chicago for the shows, and that they mark the end of something that was so pivotal in my life. I was thinking about how this ending felt like the final nail in the coffin of my youth when a friend called to see if I wanted to go out to the site of the hippie fair I'm involved with to see the broadcast in one of the barns out there, so we went. It was so much fun that I'm going back tonight for the final show. Getting to see it in a barn in the woods with lots of space to dance now seems far better than seeing it in a stadium with 80,000 people in assigned seats in the middle of a massive city. i've never liked shows with assigned seats, and I so dislike massive stadium shows that I stopped going to the really huge ones in 86, so I no longer feel like I'm missing out at all, and I seem to have gotten over mourning my youth. Have a good day everyone. |
Adna!!! That's amazing and bittersweet at the same time...I can't help but feel bad that something you were a part of is coming to an end...thankfully music is eternal and dosent go away...the dead will never die ;) |
I'm a drummer and I saw a photo of the setup they had going on and it was absolutely mind blowing...haven't seen any of the show tho just photos |
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