Today is day 4 for me and I am so relieved because last night my husband and daughter were on the deck enjoying cocktails and I didn't have one :)

Welcome Aislin, Nerina and Chick Chick.
I always thought I had no will power too Aislin. It's been a week for me now. But i have really had to take a stand and fight the urges. Today I thought more about drinking then any other day. I too have had bad dreams and woke up an hour late today. Luckily got to work on time without bloodshot eyes.
I worked out that if i had one drink or even two I would enjoy an hour feeling "relaxed", then 4-5 hours drunk, 8 hours passed out, 3-4 hours hungover, 4-5 hours guilt, start drinking, 48+ hours realizing I have to stop, 72+ hours preparing myself to give up again, then start the first week all over again for 1 hour of "me time". No thank you. I'm having my sleepytime tea and off to bed.
Looking forward to next week when a peaceful sleep comes.
Congratulations to everyone for making today better than yesterday.

Thank you Dee for the link, it looks interesting I am going to read through it later. At the moment I tend to drink two bottles of wine a night. This often gets me to a point of not remembering going to bed. Is it safe for me to try and cut it out completely. I have been reading on some of the threads that it can actually cause harm to some people if they go cold turkey but I am not sure if that is for people who drink more. I don't drink during the day

Thanks

I have too much to do today, so I'm still in bed. Avoiding. Lol. Meh I'll get up in a sec.

I like how you broke down your drinking cycle Sandy, That was my life for years!

And I had to substitute the cold of cold beers with with warm in your post nerina, made it less appealing. The taste would not be worth the impending damage! Luke warm flat beer. Gross. ;-)

Good morning Juners, checking in on day 9. I apologize for my absence; the past nine days has been hell. Improving each day, but physically this last binge had serious adverse effects on my short term health. Mentally, I was in a good place. Having the nine months dry under my belt gave me the tools to address the shame of being here all over again and combat the addictive voice's stupid reasons to use again.

The withdrawals and shakes stopped on the day 3 mark, but 40 days on booze and intermittent use of other substances left my internals wrecked. Sleep was initially easy, but when the work week came back around, I've been getting 3-4 hours a night. I'm feeling decent all things considered and look forward to getting back into a healthy routine at the gym.

Anywho, don't give up and don't let the weight of this weigh down the future you. All you have to do is deal with right now; the road is long and won't be easy, but the fight it worth it. I've been listening to the the song below on repeat. "I'd rather be shattered than hollow" has been my mantra the last 9 days. In other words, I'm empty when I use. Hopes, dreams, desires, and ambitions all take a back seat to booze. I would rather be shattered and working towards rebuilding myself than empty, blackout, and unaware.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YRX6ZQJfBgY

I listened to the song you posted, it's very nice. I can see why you find inspiration in it. I hope you get to feeling better Noolan. The 40 days you spent under pale in comparison to all that time you stayed sober, you'll get it back, I'm sure. :-)

Good job!

I have been reading alot about quitting cold turkey and many many articles advise against it. Should I try tapering my drinking down if I write out a plan?

The advise I've seen given here, Aislin, is that if quitting cold turkey seems dangerous to you, you should consult your Dr.

We aren't allowed to give medical advise and such.

:)

I'm not sure tapering would work for me, if it could moderation would be a piece of cake!

Tapering wouldn't suit me either just can't moderate. If you are worried I would seek medical help. I have had some pretty rough day ones especially after days of every night heavy drinking not just the normal headache nausea etc but anxiety and panic attacks which were scarey looking back I wish I had got some help on those days.

Thanks for the replies. I am just getting worried because I have high blood pressure and I have read that you can get spikes in your blood pressure when quitting cold turkey. I seem to be getting myself completely worked up about things today!

Absolutely, drinking suppresses emotions. I'd been analyzing my drinking, before I decided to quit. I was writing down all of the negative effects and consequences that I've experienced as a result of just getting drunk. Naturally, I tried to continue this catalog while getting drunk. After two pints, I couldn't think of any consequences. I couldn't remember any bad emotions. It was like I'd been anesthetized. As I continued to drink, I felt increasingly detached. For example, I was listening to a radio show that I don't particularly like, but what I was listening to was registering in my brain a half second late. It was a foggy enjoyment, bu it was also impossible to be critical of what was being said. I wasn't comprehending anything well, but the game of playing catch up was somehow more enjoyable than normal concentration. The conclusion that alcohol impairs judgement hit me hard. By the time I had finished six pints I felt entirely detached, in my own drunken world, which is necessarily a very selfish place. I'm 4 days sober, and I am a recovering alcoholic. I'm going to get better at addressing my emotions, and even crying, as you suggested, when necessary.:thanks

I like this snippet a lot. Thanks mayg!

Wishing all you Junebugs a wonderful sober Thursday. You're doing great! I'm on day 35 myself and it gets a little better each and every day. Remember you don't have to take that first drink no matter what. And if you don't take the first, you'll never have to take the second or third or tenth.

Going away for a few nights tomorrow tried not to think to much about it not to panic last year ended in getting drunk every night hiding bottles in wardrobe I was the only one who drank and think I hid it well umm.

Just packed and going prepared this time ipod with speakers for relaxing music including mediation and audio books , kindle stuffed with recovery books and novels, apple TV, pampering toletries and Nintendo ds. Might just find enough space for clothes lol. Really going to try to do this sober this time can't remember the last time I had a sober break.

Commencing Day 3 here, didn't feel like bed until midnight but then slept uninterrupted until 6am, which is a big improvement. Slowly regaining some of the energy I found last week during my "good" ten days. What a pity I squandered most of that recovery on one evening! I'd had a combination of three slightly untoward circumstances come together that day. Lesson learned: I've thought through each of the items and planned how I'd deal with them in future. Forward and onward :) And, as ever, I so much appreciate and value the posters here!

Just wanted to pop in before I head to bed. I made it through day #1! I've been so positive today and have actually enjoyed the day. Hoping tomorrow will go just as well as this one :) Good night!

Luke warm flat beer is gross.. but I've been that desperate a couple of times. eeewww!

I don't think you 'squandered' anything you learned or achieved Caramel...it's all still there :)

Have a plan and use it tiredofme. What you'll do if you're offered a drink, what to do if you're craving one, have an escape plan, even if it's just going somewhere for a little while.....

The better the plan the greater your chance of a sober weekend :)

Congratulations to everyone forging ahead :)

D

Taking a minute. SO got irritated bc I parked too far back in the driveway. Which, in turn, made me irritated at him. Ive been busting it all day trying to get ready for a garage sale, the proceeds of which I intend to give to him. I'm not used to getting pissed off, does he really need to get upset over something so small? Normally I'd be on my 7th or 8th beer, and I wouldn't feel feelings. Ok vent over. Now I have to make cookies for a bake sale. :/

I can't say enough how good it is to come on here and read other people dealing with the same struggles as I am. Feeling good, yet wanting to drink, finding what we need that keeps us fighting through the cravings.
Day 5 and its 715 pm where I am. I convinced myself before that I was going to drink a couple of glasses of wine while I dye my hair and straighten up the house. Why not? What's wrong with a few glasses of wine? No, no no. I ate something sweet and logged on here instead.
I'm NOT blowing this again. I feel too good.

First, good job on making the decision to not take that first drink. There's a lot of power in that simple choice.


Does the quote above mean you have wine in the house or am I inferring too much from it? I think I remember you saying your boyfriend doesn't drink. If you do have wine in the house, I highly suggest pouring it down the drain as soon as possible. If I'm reading too much into that sentence, my apologies.

Wishing you the best and glad you're staying close to SR!

Congratulations Nerina for making it day 1. For me it is a big step that I always planned to do "tomorrow". The next few days are mentally tough but you just need to be vigilant and refuse that first drink every minute if need be. A plan is an excellent way to keep you busy. When the urge arises I distract myself and it works for the time.
Well done to Caramel on 3 days and Yuri on 4 days. Everyday makes us stronger.
Everyone else thank you for sharing your experiences and giving me insight to what to expect in the next few days.
I'm busy today so I won't need to worry about "fighting" until this evening. But my fists are up and I'm ready to tackle AV when it appears.
I've stopped worrying about how did I get myself in such a mess. I could turn into a raging lunatic at times. Very different my real personality. The answer for is simple - alcohol.
The awful things I have said to my husband without remembering and definitely not meaning. Many people say the truth comes out when drunk. Don't agree with that completely. I told my husband years ago that I was going to Africa in 10 days!!!! Of course he was shocked and upset. I can't put myself or others through this anymore.
Enjoy your day today everyone.

It's Friday here. Two weeks ago I decided to get blind and had wine AND champagne and I was a wreck. Over the next weekend I thought I was going to have my first seizure, my eyes were all swollen from crying my face was all cracked and I kept remembering bits of the fool I had made of myself and I found out my children were concerned about my drinking. I was behind with work, house was a bomb, I was bloated, unclean and I hated myself and I had no idea how I could get through it without getting pissed all over again. I am, nearly two weeks later, catching up with work, bloated has gone, I'm clean, though need to sort out hair. House is still a bit of a bomb but more manageable and having caught up with some work I will be doing a big sort out this weekend. I have a lot of backlog to deal with but am wondering how the hell I would ever catch up drunk. I need to keep going with this. May x

Great to be getting on top of things May, I am too, sense of satisfaction.
Hope everyone stays strong through the weekend.

Great job may. It's amazing how far behind things can get when we are drinking. Tonight I cleaned out bathroom drawers and my jewelry box of all things. I am also noticing so many things around the house that go overlooked when I'm walking around in my loopy buzz or dazed hangover.

No wine in the house Casey. I was going to "run out to the store quickly" under the guise of forgetting or needing something. Thank goodness I didn't do that route. Thankful for sr and chocolate.
It's just so scary that I still want to drink. I wish I didn't. I hope as time goes by that pull to alcohol dissipates. I know when I've gone month or more, it did get better, and I felt I had so much more to lose with all that time built up. But it was still there at times, and all it takes is one moment.

Glad day 5 is over and ready for my favorite thing... Sleep!

[Walks in with head down, pulls up chair in back of the class]
Hi everyone, Day One here again.
I had a terrible time with a heat wave we had and alot of family drama, and lack of sleep and eating (I never have an appetite during extreme heat) so a bottle of wine felt to be the solution and as always, it never is.
I found that it's really interesting the type of reactions you get from people when you 'come out' as an alcoholic. I had a very touching experience today when I told someone who I only recently started getting to know. It sort of makes me feel like telling everyone I know, even my favorite cashiers at the grocery store. It could help. I would feel more accountable. Does anyone have any experience with this?

It can be very relieving in a lot of ways, but a source of shame if you tell a person who is not emotionally aware of how their reaction can impact you. Honesty is vital to our recovery, but I would suggest only sharing with those you know will support you initially. As time goes on and you keep building incremental success, self confidence and assurance grows and even the haters can't get you down. :)

Also day ones happen, I'm on day 9, but had 9 months under my belt, so keep your head up

Good evening, y'all. Had a nice night of laundry and then dinner with my dad and sister. Strange how satisfying something as simple as washing all my clothes can be. I also had a random thought of "well now none of my clothes are filled with alcohol, vomit, or withdrawal sweat; let's keep it this way". Anyways, I'm watching basketball and then hopefully a decent night sleep awaits. Cheers and stay sober.

Welcome back soberella... all the cool kids sit in the back ;),

Sounds like we are all taking care of some much neglected business.

I had an abnormally productive day myself. Been cleaning, baking, hitting the elliptical, feel like I'm alive again. Fleeting thoughts of drinking a few on the sly as I passed the gas station, ended up stopping for some pop.

Now relaxing with SO on the couch. I let him know that I was mad at him for getting irritated with me, which is huge. I'm the queen of bottling up and the master of passive aggressive behavior. His response was "good! I'm glad you got mad" teasingly. We laughed and all is good.

Today makes 13. See you tomorrow for another awesome sober day.

♡ bbf

Congratulations mayg on 2 weeks, bbf on 13 and noolan on 9. And of course everyone else. Moving up the unit of time from minutes to hours to days to weeks is fantastic.
Our stories are all too familiar. With sober eyes I can really see what a mess I have made. I'm also slowly catching up on housework and finishing chores which is great. I was going to tackle the tupperware container cupboard today but thought against it. I don't want to get to gung-ho. Did some gardening instead while the sun is still shining.
Tomorrow I'm going camping with some friends. Should be OK because a close friend won't be drinking either. I'll have to answer the why not questions but i have that all sorted. I'll have to stock up on snacks. I know now what you all mean about the joys of sweets. I don't really eat that much chocolate, but yesterday i had to get out of the house because of cravings and come home with chocolate, chocolate chip cookies and chocolate coated cake! Yum. It certainly took away the cravings. Actually might go and enjoy some more now.
Have a happy sober day.

Good morning everyone. I'm ready to get through day #2! My daughter has started walking to school alone now, but I usually follow her to where there's no more scary roads to get over. We also picked up her friend on the way. Left my wallet at home so I wouldn't pop into the grocery store to buy a couple of beers. I have to go later though to pick up some stuff. It's Friday and I usually buy some beers so today I'm planning on buying some vegetables and and dip and instead of beers I'm gonna buy a bottle of sparkling water with raspberry taste. And Orange Is the New Black season 3 is out today so the night is set :P

Happy Sober Friday to all of you :grouphug: Let's stay strong!