Had the obligatory drinking dream. Woke up in a panic, followed by a rush of relief. I suppose that means this is getting serious! Day 12.

Fbl keep going! Day 4 is always the hardest spot for me. Feel better. :-)

Troy good to hear you slept. I was getting a bit worried. Sleeping is my favorite ;-).

May, well done on 12 days!

Hi fradley, welcome to June

Jazz, that's my AV's motto as well. "Alone for 15 minutes????!!!, time to drink!" Lmao, who were we fooling with that?

Caramel, "can't wait to get back to that feeling I've done something useful with my days" -heard that. I'm beginning to act like a real live person again :-)

Same with me. :) Reminds me of when I first fell madly in love (and had it returned) when I was 22. He worked as a courier, and I worked at my online stuff. Due to living situation, I generally went out to coffee shops / pubs to work during the day in Toronto.

We would literally schedule naps together. "ok, 2:30pm? sounds good, see you at home". heh, sounds quite dorky, but we were in love, so it didn't matter, and we could care less. :)

Nonetheless, glad to hear you're doing good as well, and hope you enjoy the RV trip coming up. Hope you / your man don't get grilled on the pregnancy thing too much.

Well on Day 13 and, drum roll.... I had my first brilliant, sober sleep in forever. Usually if I don't drink I take something, usually just over the counter stuff but I have lost the knack of sleeping unaided. OMG, best sleep ever. Had forgotten how good then can be. Blackbird and Troy you will appreciate.
My friend gave up for 2 months and warned me how amazing the sleeps were.
I can't wait to go to bed tonight :-)
Mayg

Lol Yay may!!! Zzzzzzzz

Sleep is a precious gift, mayg - I hope you sleep deeply and peacefully until you awake refreshed and ready to start a new day.
(That's another thing I'm hoping to recover!)

Day 4...feeling good. Been doing a lot of soul searching the last couple of days. Trying to understand why I binge drink. Escape, freedom, "fun", forget stuff. I've had a binge drinking problem since I was a teen; continued into college; then I had kids. For so many years I stayed on the straight and narrow. Then my step daughter died in our house and things have been off since. My kids grew up too leaving me and my hubby on our own. Moved to a job in a new state. Been here a year and I'm not sure if I'm happy. My work life is soo different than my old location. I miss daily interaction with people/teammates. So I feel lonely at work. I work in a corporate setting, have a great office but don't really interact with other people in the office because my job is unique. Things with my husband are a bit stressful. Hes retired so he waits for me all day. We have no friends. We spend all of our time together. I feel like the situation is unhealthy. I feel like it's gone over board...I get no time alone, he even drives me to and from work. He does take care of me...cooks, cleans, shops, does laundry, is the primary caretaker of our 3 dogs. Still I feel strangled sometimes. When it comes to my kids, he gets mad when they call and he keeps me from being as generous or forgiving as I'd like to be. I feel like there are a lot of underlying issues that contribute to me binge drinking. I know I need to say no. These contributing factors need to be dealt with. This is a journey.

rah555
I feel for you Rah as I work for myself. I am not comparing my situation to yours but I was in a marriage and my world got very small. I drank to cope with that but all it did was make the situation worse and more complex. Work on your sobriety because imo that is a much better foundation to make changes and build on. I speak from hindsight, I know it is far easier said than done. I just honestly wish I had.
Best wishes
Mayg

May.... I think sleep just might be one of my top motivators to not drink. That and how I feel waking up. Over the past few years, even two drinks can ruin my sleep. A pure, sober and often dream filled sleep is my reward !

Rah- I think it's normal to start evaluating our lives and relationships once we remove the alcohol which numbs and dulls everything. Try to take it easy on yourself though. Give things some time to change naturally as you stay sober. It always amazes me how my thoughts and feelings change as I remain sober. You are doing great, keep it up :)

Congrats on day 13! I love sleep!!

Congrats on 13!!!

I have felt so out of sorts today, I'm so glad that it's over and I'm going to bed. Sober.
My father died of lung cancer in January and its been very difficult. I can't say I numbed the pain with alcohol because I surely felt plenty of pain, but I think not drinking just makes you see and feel things on a different level. I must have broke down crying a dozen times today about it all. I look for relief and comfort, and I guess I thought I'd find it in beer and wine. Some things need to be felt and take lots of time I guess.
Good night June group, you all really helped me today.

Have you considered grief counselling FABL?
D

You're doing great FABL. Hang in there.

Day 3 and things are actually starting to look better. I appreciate all of the support on here, especially the encouragements that life will be easier, things will improve, your brain will heal, and good things will fall into place without alcohol poisoning me. I'm going to celebrate with a tall glass of ice water. Ahhh.

Yuri, that is great! Was a bit worried about you yesterday.
FABL I think drinking supresses the emotions and when we stop they just seem to come out from no where. I have been very emotional the last few days. Maybe a good cry will help. I hope you feel better tomorrow.
Last night I nearly caved in, I was thinking about drinking all day. I thought it through though, like Dee suggests, and it really helped. I also came on here a lot! even though it seemed like no one was around, but just reading posts really reminded me why I was quitting. Today, I know I won't drink, funny how some days are harder than others.

I'd like to join you all. I drank Sunday after 14 days. I'm back on track now at the end of day 3. I'll check in in the morning.

Welcome aboard ChickChick. :)

Early evening of 7th day. Looking forward to waking up with a full week sober. I've been fighting cravings today but finding things to keep my mind off it. I'm feeling pretty tired today. Might get an early night to make tomorrow come faster!
Good luck everyone!

Fantastic Mayg ... both Day 13 and sleep ... what a combination !!! :) :)

Only on day #1 for me, but I'm happy to be here and I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone and support each other. Even though my brain tells me a cold beer would taste good right now I'm saying NO it wouldn't to myself. It will only make me feel tired and bad about myself. Even though a future with no alcohol seems scary it also makes me feel good thinking about it. No more hangovers, no more embarrassing moments, I'll have more money to use on better things, my mind will feel clear, no more depression and so on. There's a lot of positive things about quitting and I try to think of them whenever I get a craving for a cold beer.

I hope everyone will have a good sober Thursday :)

Good morning Junebugs

Day 11 here and not feeling to bad at all still tired and a bit achy but a lot better than this time last week.

Decided to amend my initial time line a bit which was week 1 relax just concentrate on not drinking week 2 start healthy eating etc. Week 1 is now Month 1, healthy eating and more exercise can wait till July. Think putting to much pressure on myself at this still very early stage would be a trigger going to concentrate more on reading recovery books and being kind to myself.

Welcome Nerina these things are so true keep going its going to be worth it.

welcome Nerina & Chick Chick

D

Thank you and congrats on day 11! :) I agree with not putting to much pressure on yourself. I'm thinking the same thing. I'm gonna slowly start eating better and exercise, but not thinking too much about that yet. I'm also planning on quitting smoking and I think that is going to be a lot easier after being sober for a while. I've always had trouble quitting smoking because whenever I drink I want that damn cigarette haha.

Thanks! :)

Welcome Nerina and Chick Chick.
Lovely to read the posts and see where we are all at. FABL hugs on teary days, very hard dealing with those emotions we are used to numbing.
I agree tiredofme on amending timelines. The only reason I gave up smoking at the same time is because for me it is never one or the other and I have tried either/or so many times that for me it has been easier to do both. I was thinking today, I wonder when I'll stop thinking about if I want a drink and then i thought nothing really has changed, I thought about drinking a lot every day now I think about not drinking a lot every day, though without so much down time. I am hoping for another brilliant sleep though I think that was just a little reward after a crappy day but I hope they become the norm. I had a near miss with my AV today. A little conversation in head started and it grew but I just knocked it on the head. I call her Joan and I reminded myself how terrible I felt nearly two weeks ago.
Best wishes to all on this journey
May

Fell off the wagon big time. I feel so ill at the moment, every day I feel rough and I am fed up of it but when the evening rolls around I just can't seem to not have a drink. I tell myself that I am not going to have a drink but then I always convince myself that I 'll have one tonight and then stop for good tomorrow. Tomorrow however never comes. I don't remember going to bed last night, my husband told me I felt very ill, today I feel awful and am struggling to get through the day. I am frightened about how badly I have damaged my body by living like this but I feel completely helpless to stop.

Welcome chickchick, Nerina and aislin. You can do this ! And we are here for you. We all know that feeling of swearing off drinking until the evening rolls around and putting off quitting day after day after day. You are certainly not alone

Aislin - don't give up. This is a difficult complex issue. Some people, who don't understand, think it's simple but it isn't. Our mind plays tricks on us and when you factor in emotions, setting, relationships, memories, our baggage...we are walking through a battlefield. At least that how I feel. Then when you add social acceptance and advertising that says drinking alcohol is normal and almost expected its extra tricky. It seems we all experience the cycle...commit to quit; do well for a bit of time; get complacent or overconfident then fall only to go through the cycle again. Don't be too hard on yourself. Take care of yourself today. This is a good place for support. Reach out more, read more. I am rooting for you:)

many of us faltered a time or two Aislin. I don't believe it's ever too late to start a Chapter 2.

Maybe when you feel better it'd be a good time to think about a better recovery plan?

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf

D

Yes, Dee, grief counseling is absolutely what I need. I've been given two names and numbers and it's definitely time because sobriety is really making me even more emotional than ever over my dad. Thank you :)
Tiredofme, I am also giving myself some slack on the diet and exercise component. I've been exercising but eating definitely helps me with cravings and as much as I want to lose weight, staying sober has to come first. This has been a constant battle with me, and I think part of the reason why I end up drinking again. I get hungry, and begin to tell myself that one or two drinks won't blow my diet. Then it all starts again. One thing at a time is a good motto.
Day 5. I slept in today, which I guess I needed. I've been waking up at 630 every day all gung ho to start my day and exercise. Maybe tiredness contributed to my emotional "off" day yesterday. Had plans with my mom, called her tell her I overslept and I'll be an hour late. It feels soooooo good to know that it had NOTHING to do with alcohol!!!