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Hi Site and Amp, it sounds like both of you are doing well! Life is going on here even better than I thought it would. I'm finally mostly settled in and loving it. I've never been this relaxed in my life :-). No strong cravings, I'm feeling very settled into a pleasant and happy sober life. It finally dawned on me that I do believe I deserve this. |
Been monitoring the Pluto fly-by, fascinating stuff. Humans have now visited all the traditional planets. Yes, Pluto, you will always be a planet to me! Told off a drunk friend last night who was being obnoxious. I have ranted about him before. A mutual friend announced on Facebook that he was going to inpatient rehab. My friend was making fun of him and saying he will fail. Of course all while totally drunk. I finally told him never to ask me to do something with him (he was celebrating his birthday) if he had been drinking. "You are a (expletive deleted, as they used to say) alcoholic B, deal with it head on like K is doing." My final words of the evening. Hated to do it, but I had enough. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr |
Sounds tough, Drake. I really over-identify with people who are behaving regrettably when drunk. I try to avoid situations like that as I find it too easy to become over-involved. Having said that I think you really did the right thing to back up your friend in rehab against a bullying drunk, even if that bullying drunk is also a friend of yours! |
Hi undies. Back to the womp life today. Womp womp. Had to order a part for my water heater that won't be here till Thursday so cold showers until then! Yikes |
Well, I drank tonight. There are no good excuses, so I'll spare you all the details. I feel like crap now, mentally and physically. Tomorrow is Day 1, again. I'm heading to Europe soon and I am determined to stay sober for that trip. I'm home now and poured out the last of the booze, but I feel awful for having it in there for a few weeks and not telling people here. One of my buddies that lives in Texas was here with his girlfriend and stayed on my pullout couch. They left a handle of vodka here and I should have thrown it out when I saw it. Instead, I wound up drinking at a work event tonight, and then got home and had a good 4-5 shots of vodka. I'm now about ready to go to bed. Massively disappointed. |
Mets, I understand how you feel! This can be an incredibly difficult addiction to beat. You have a great attitude and I believe that you can do this. We learn where our weak spots are and then have new areas to work on. |
It's OK NYM. :hug |
Day 11 here. It helps having a supportive partner... but it's frustrating when we're out at a restaurant and we can't have a few drinks like we used too. I still hope that one day I can enjoy a social drink. I don't know if that day will come or not - for now I'm just focusing on staying sober and resisting the temptation to relapse. |
Mets - I'm sorry to read that you drank tonight. I had several situations that any sane person would consider good reason to stop drinking - a hospital trip, a DUI, more blackouts than I can count. I tried to stop drinking so many times. What turned out to be true for me is "the same person will drink again." I'm a fairly straightforward person. I have never been in the habit of consciously lying, cheating or stealing. However I've found that the honesty I need to practice to stay sober goes deeper than that. It requires telling other alcoholics the truth, and rigorously examining my intentions and motives. By now you know that if you confided that you had vodka in the house, we'd have probably advised that there was no good reason to hold on to it. When I was actively drinking I could have argued with that suggestion from many different angles. It took time for me to develop the humility to listen to other recovering alcoholics' advice, and a hell of a lot of courage to follow it. None of this is beyond your reach. It doesn't require money or tools or an excessive amount of time. All it requires is a willingness to change. Drake - Your story made me cheer. You are a completely different person than the man who just wanted to blend in with the boozy cafe crowd. It's so good to see the confidence that's emerging in your sobriety. BoozeFree - I hope your water heater parts are on their way!! Amp, Site, Casey, Dharma, Saskia, Carlos, Toots, Gilmer - I hope all is well! Good night all!! |
nymets86 -- sorry you decided to take that first drink but glad you're right back in here. It really has taken rigorous honesty about anything drinking-related this time to keep me on the straight and narrow. Honestly, whether you knew it or not, as soon as you didn't tell us about that vodka and pour it out immediately, your addiction was planning that relapse whether you consciously realized it or not. Also personally, I wouldn't let friends stay over with their booze. If they are true friends, they'll respect a no booze in the house policy from you. Don't beat yourself up--it's done and you know what you need to do different next time. Keep checking in please! We're here for you just like you've been here for us. I'm doing well myself. Finishing up day 68 here. Nothing new to report. Glad to be off work the next two days. Looking forward to hitting up some AA meetings, maybe hanging around the pool in the afternoons (no sunburns this time!) Thursday will be day 70--my new "world's record" of continuous sobriety. I'm in a good place today. Grateful for my sobriety. Grateful for my recovery. Grateful for the fellowship I get on this forum and in AA. Thanks to each and every one of you for keeping me sober one more day. |
I'm glad you came back Mets. I found if I left a gate open, sooner or later I'd walk through it. I stopped leaving gates open :) D |
NYM glad you were able to be honest and come here to talk about your drinking today. Tomorrows a new day and a fresh start. Try not to beat yourself up too much and look at the situation from a learning perspective and think about what you can do differently next time. Womp flew by. Day 4 no cigs and I sure am feeling some withdrawal side effects. Mainly the annoying head ache with feeling a little irritable/depressed. Last time I tried quitting I used a e cig but this time I don't want to be smoking anything. I was smoking about a pack a day and looking forward to the money I will be saving. I also gave up redbull a little over a week ago. I was up to drinking about 4 to 5 a day and still tired and sleeping. Now it's just 2 cups of coffee in the morning. I treated myself to a couple new records. It's been a few months since I bought some new music. Music is the one thing I can use to get out of my head for a bit and unwind. |
Hey Mets! I know you must feel down and frustrated right now. This whole thing about getting sober is a total minefield. We can't afford to take our eyes off the prize for a minute or we're back to square one. Except it isn't really square one, is it? All the hard work you've done so far and your great attitude haven't ceased to exist because of one mistake. You may look back at this as a turning point or a catalyst that redoubled your strength. Good luck! |
Originally Posted by BoozeFree
(Post 5466565)
NYM glad you were able to be honest and come here to talk about your drinking today. Tomorrows a new day and a fresh start. Try not to beat yourself up too much and look at the situation from a learning perspective and think about what you can do differently next time. Womp flew by. Day 4 no cigs and I sure am feeling some withdrawal side effects. Mainly the annoying head ache with feeling a little irritable/depressed. Last time I tried quitting I used a e cig but this time I don't want to be smoking anything. I was smoking about a pack a day and looking forward to the money I will be saving. I also gave up redbull a little over a week ago. I was up to drinking about 4 to 5 a day and still tired and sleeping. Now it's just 2 cups of coffee in the morning. I treated myself to a couple new records. It's been a few months since I bought some new music. Music is the one thing I can use to get out of my head for a bit and unwind. |
Originally Posted by NickOz21
(Post 5466424)
Day 11 here. It helps having a supportive partner... but it's frustrating when we're out at a restaurant and we can't have a few drinks like we used too. I still hope that one day I can enjoy a social drink. I don't know if that day will come or not - for now I'm just focusing on staying sober and resisting the temptation to relapse. Anyway, I took my wife and kids out for a meal last night and it wasn't till half way through the main course that I realised I wasn't worried about not drinking at all. Not long ago that type of situation was a bit of a white knuckle ride but now something's clicked. I used to feel kind of "left out" in social situations and would find myself brooding on the injustice of it all. Now I'm beginning to get it. I feel LUCKY that I don't have to worry about all that **** anymore. Sure, some days are better than others but I've seen where I can be and it looks pretty good. In my own experience, if I hung on to that idea that I'd be drinking again in the not too distant future I don't think I'd ever have achieved this clarity. Well... I hope that makes sense to you. Thoughts are a little jumbled this morning after a restless night's sleep. Have a great sober day! |
Hi guys. Hugs to you that need them from me.... well actually hugs to all of you! I'm a huggy person. Looking forward to my one Year anniversary soon..... tricky few weeks ahead so I will have to keep focused. Xx |
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