JL, glad you told that liquor store and your AV off! Good job!

Haven't had any real cravings or thoughts today myself but I did just get a real yen for some candy so I walked to the grocery store. I figured while I was there I might as well get some chocolate chip cookies too. Nothing wrong with that, right?

Great minds? Or maybe it's just alcoholic minds thinking alike...

Sorry to hear that chanty! Glad you got back on here though. That's a good first step. Do you have a plan for next time something like that happens? Maybe go for a walk or something like that?

Hi, May flowers. :) Back home after an amusing trip to the hospital and then out to dinner for a pizza with my mom. My bil is still on clear liquid diet but he's not using a lot of pain medicine. We stayed about 2.5 hours or 3, not sure. He looked pretty tired at the end of it and he was starting to splint his abdomen with a pillow and cough. He's got lots of coughing to do so we let him go for a walk in the hallway with the nurse and then he was going to lay down a while.

He did have cancer but they believe they got it all and that he won't need any chemo or radiation. That's great news and I hope that they're right about getting it all. Metastasis happen and I don't know how they would know if he has some or not. They will do colonoscopies every 6 months.

So mom wanted to treat me to a pizza for dinner. I said okay but told her that I'm not drinking. I went ahead and told her that I have come to the realization that I just can't drink anymore. I said I just can't moderate how much I drink and it's better than I abstain. She had a glass of wine and I had a diet Pepsi. It didn't bother me at all. I know it's silly to let it bother me. Those who don't have a problem with alcohol can drink and enjoy. Those of us who do have a problem have to accept that fact and just live accordingly.

I can see that now, and I'm in a place of acceptance. This is my life and I will live it to the best of my ability. Gone are the days of foolishness. :)

Well, I drove mom home and was driving back to my place when I got a call. Mom forgot her purse at the restaurant. Had to go back and get it and then return it to her. Took about another hour. Stopped to feed the dog and take her for the ride and got some gas cause I wasn't planning on making 2 trips. Mom felt so bad about it but at least she left it in a place where we were able to get it back.

I'm pooped and so I'm going to rest now. I wish you all (and myself) a lovely, peaceful sober evening/day and that we can continue to add to our sober day calculators. :) ((((Hugs))))

1 day sober 17 times in a row. 17 days and feeling pretty good most days. I can feel great 1 minute and blah the next. I miss the taste of the alcohol but not the trouble that comes with it. Thanks for all your support.

Sorry to hear that, chanty. But it's good you realize what you didn't do last night and that the drinking didn't help the situation at all. Also glad you had the courage and honesty to immediately get back in here. We're all at a precarious spot in our sober journeys right now.

I have never heard it phrased this way before. I like it! Congrats on 17 days, bdj!

Sounds like mostly good news about your brother-in-law, Cissy. And that's awesome you got to have that conversation with your mother.

Comedian Ron White thought he was telling a joke when he said "alcoholics don't need a reason to drink, they just need a place--"my AV has fooled me repeatedly after about 4-5 days dry. A fuss or trouble at work, anything to feed it. What a sneaky, insidious thing it is !

bdj what a great way to look at it! One day 17 days in a row haha

I find that a lot of the time I start thinking about drinking it's when I'm getting too far ahead. Like I'll never drink again, or I won't be able to drink on the really hot days ahead, but when I go back to not drinking just for today, I feel fine.

Cissy so glad your bil is doing well. It's great that he's close enough you can go visit and support him too. Lucky they caught it early and can keep an eye out now!

Hello Class of May 2015. I wanted to introduce myself as the new kid in town. I'm day 2. I posted last night and was so glad to have the welcome. Because of my pattern of every other day binging, 2 days isn't that difficult, but I expect tomorrow will be harder- I have a trigger in the morning which I have allowed myself as an excuse to drink. I actually used to plan for it - yuck.

I do have to drive my children to activities tomorrow - activities that I will go to and be sober for. No matter how shaky or anxious I am. I will do that tomorrow and it will be day 3. This feels so good - to have a place to let go of what I have stuck in my head. It does feel a little more possible.

Goodnight, see you in "class" tomorrow:)

My AV is getting kind of crafty.

It's trying to plan my relapses, but far out from now. Like maybe at the end of my trip in June I can have a few drinks. Or when I'm gone for work and won't be going to AA for a month or so, I can drink then.

Last time it kept getting closer and closer to today until it won out.

I'm not in any danger of drinking, just going through the best ways to deal with it. It doesn't seem to be HALT related, like my cravings are... it's more like a little whisper in the back of my mind, and I don't like it! Once I tell it there's no way I'm drinking, be it 10 years from now or right this moment, I get a little sad. Not because I'll never drink, more because I'm having any of those thoughts in the first place. I almost feel like I'm not taking this seriously enough if I'm planning relapses...

It's very weird, but I feel better now that I came on here got it out! Just glad that I'm second guessing my thoughts and I've realized there's definitely a part of my brain that's out to get me.

At least it's one more thing I know to look out for!

Had a little bit of the same this morning. I mentioned in here that since I don't start work until Monday, I'd thought about heading out on a little road trip. My usual go to on trips of this length is Austin, where I lived for years. While my life was not centered around drinking in Austin, it was definitely a regular part of my life there. I decided a part of my desire to go there this weekend was thinking about those good times drinking there. It's one of the reasons I decided to just stick close to home this weekend.

On your work trip, there are AA meetings all over the world. Where I live now is one of the major centers of the American oil and gas industry and I've seen dozens and dozens of visitors at meetings who are just in town for a day or two and want to make a meeting.

Hi, I'd like to introduce myself to this May 2015 thread. I am on Day 2 today and hoping to keep it up.

Welcome, justbreath1980! We've got a strong class going here, glad you're joining us.

Day 1 for me again. In April, I was 14 days sober.

Hi Amittranjan.

I remember you from the April group. Good you're back and stepping up for May's. All the best.

Day 14: I Dream of Jeannie

(Read no further if depictions of sin bother you.)


I went to a bar last night and downed two drinks. Both were waters, neat, with a twist of lime.

It wasn't my first choice for a meeting, but the president of this particular club chose the venue. I watched as the other dozen guys downed hearty brews and tequila shots. I ate my vegan wrap in peace.

Last night after I fell asleep I was back in the bar, except it was empty save for me and the impossibly gorgeous coed with the tan lines behind the counter. She poured a chilled glass of Southern Comfort and offered it to me, which I downed without hesitation. Then she offered herself to me which I also accepted without hesitation. In the middle of the countertop action I looked up to see my children...seated at a bare table, looking at me with tears streaming down their faces. Then I woke up , sweating....thank God.

Feeling irrationally remorseful this morning.

Good luck to all.

4

Welcome new May classmates ! I'm at work, having to hurry through. Gotta post.
Yesterday was rough. Today's not yesterday thank goodness

Good morning all, will try to catch up at lunch, but for now have a great sober morning! Off to work...

Good morning! Day 6. I had a dream last night that I was drinking. Woke up pretty upset but relieved that it wasn't real. Is this normal? Hope everyone has a great day!

Wow. Just read your post 4! Must have been the night for drinking dreams. I guess it IS normal.

Okay, wow! There is literally so many posts I'm not sure I have time to get caught up. My apologies. I hope everyone is staying strong. If you fell, get back up. Don't stay down!! Tweak your plan and press on.

Welcome to all our new classmates! This group is awesome.

So, I'm on day 4. The worst of the withdrawal is over which is a relief. It's been a nightmare. This is a bit late, but I love the "z" concept. My first night sober this time around, whilst in the midst of withdrawal, I decided that I had to severe several relationships with people. I have tried for months to keep these people in my life. Told them I was quitting drinking and hoped that I could still be around them and maintain my sobriety. Ha! After almost 6 months of trying it that way, I blocked all their numbers. I'm honestly so relieved about it too.

Have a great sober 24 hours, team