Sigh. How did you respond to him? Or are you still processing? Hang in there. I have faith in you.

Processing.
On one hand I think 'Ugh! Im done forever!" and on the other hand I think "He's right, things just need to be different next time" Which I know doesn't work, I've frickin tried it so many times.

It's so hard because he is my best friend, husband, companion, partner, I trust him with my life, my childrens' lives, he is the head of the household, the wise one, the one everyone looks up to. He has been right with so many things in my life that without fail, he has always made the right decisions when I was floundering and unsure.
Then there is this! Is this the one thing he is wrong about? I find it very, very hard to go directly against his thinking in this.

Today is day 11....haven't seen this long in years. Feeling blessed and healthy today. I can see a difference in my face, not puffy or red like it has been for years. That's enough to keep me going. Congrats to everyone who made it to today sober! Keep it up and prayers for us all!

The reward was worth it. You can do it!!!

Congrats on day 11 Eholl

The thing is, if he is a normal drinker, he just cannot possibly understand the issues of alcohol dependency. It would be really good for him to read some alcoholism books and books on codependency - so he will understand.

Al Anon meetings would be great for him, too. Denial is a real thing in our loved ones - they simply do not want to face the fact that there is something about us that is different. "Alcoholic" is still loaded with negative connotation, and they aren't willing to label us in that way, or to accept that we have a problem. Normies may feel we will "get over" it - but that is not going to happen.

Arctic, you have to be strong in this. This is for your life and the life of your family. Drinking again will always end badly for us. Stand strong in the knowledge that for you drinking is not an option.

Thanks SoberWolf!! It doesn't sound like a lot to my normie friends, but to me it's the world :)

Anytime bud and it is a fantastic achievement well done again

CONGRATULATIONS! That is willpower right there! I'm sure it was beyond hard but man... You did it! Awesome!

I fully understand your thought process on this one. He's your rock and you feel like he could never do anything to harm you. It feels safe to go along with what he says is the right thing.

In this one particular case though, I do believe he is wrong. Now that's not to say that he's going to encourage you to drink or that he's not the man you thought he was or anything like that. I think that he just doesn't know or grasp the magnitude and depth of your situation. It could be also that he was trying to convey to you that he's afraid that things will go back to the way they were?

Whatever the case, I'm sure he loves you enough to respect any boundaries you set between yourself and alcohol. Just keep the lines of communication open.

My wife has expressed to me how unfair it is that she won't be able to drink in her own home until I'm stable enough to be around alcohol and not drink it. She thinks it's unfair to her because she doesn't have a problem, etc, etc ad infinitum... But when I put it to her bluntly, "If you bring it into the house, I WILL end up drunk," she relinquished.

Keep your chin up and fight for what you want and need in your life. I'm positive that your husband will support you! :)

Hello fellow band members! :) It's been a great day 5 for this old soul. Had a productive day at work, got off early, and had a parent / teacher conference that went MUCH better than expected.

Normally I don't do well with those things. I can't stand it when teachers look down their nose at me like they could raise my kids better or some crap. Needless to say, nerves were **** and anxiety was spiking. AV chimed in at the most vulnerable moment with such gems as, "Wouldn't a stiff drink be great to cool off with after this?" and "This is gonna be SOOOO bad that you're gonna NEED a drink or two to come down."

Admittedly, I was a little flustered after it was over, just because I don't really do well socially. I stopped off to grab some smokes and a drink. Of course the place I stopped has rows and rows of booze in front of the drink coolers. When I started heading that way, my son was like, "Really Dad?" I nonchalantly walked right to the tea cooler and replied, "Really what? I can't have a bottle of sweet tea?" LOL!

I feel amazing right now! I'm ecstatic because last time I screwed up was Day 5. I know that the struggle isn't over but, man do I feel great!

I hope all my fellow members of the Marching Band are having great days as well! :)

How do I add myself to this group? How does it work? I am tapering for a week, do I start counting my alcohol-free days?

Congrats Spirit. WOW! Way to go. Really a wonderful accomplishment.

Pouncer, you just did. This is your "class". These are your go to people.

Welcome Pouncer

You just did, Pouncer! Welcome. This thread is for all who are trying right now to get sober, whether through the cold turkey/lapse/cold turkey or deliberate taper methods. I suppose you could start counting when you stop drinking completely.

Congrats Djinn! That's a win.

Daily check-in: I'm still holding up. Finding myself thinking about a lot of things, more aware of my thoughts and feelings than I ever used to be. I also realized that I was really happy about the prospect of seeing some old friends, with whom I have often felt dorky and awkward and socially inept. But the last few times we've gotten together, I've been really able to be focus on relaxing, being myself, and being confident around them, which has made all the difference. My feelings often feel like murky little swamp lights---is that one over there? are we lost? which way is it pointing? Being able to feel this anticipatory joy, therefore, felt like a real breakthrough, of a kind that is happening more and more often these days. Life is a lot easier to navigate when you have a flashlight than when you have to rely on the weird little ghostlights that flicker behind the addictive smog.

Ladies, and Gentlemen...the taste of success.


That's how it happens. That's how it tastes.

What an interesting analogy. I like it! I'm happy to hear that things are looking up for you. Keep the positive thoughts and feelings flowing! :)

Congrats on 11 days! It must feel really awesome to recognize that person in the mirror! :)

Welcome Pouncer! Hope things are all right in your little corner of the world. You joined a wonderful group here on SR. Lots of support and kind advice all around! :)