Erin I think you might be in that weird zombie like place ( or maybe its just me that gets like this) but I won't listen to reason, can't think of ANYTHING but the drink, I don't even want to drink, but its like some magnetic pull that takes over me, I still don't understand it, in the past it has always won, ALWAYS, except lately I have been winning, it goes away. I don't even feel happy that I didn't drink, I just go home miserable without my booze, BUT, the next day I feel so happy and proud of myself.
Try to ride it out
This might not make sense, but it has been my experience, I go on zombie drives to the liquor store, like its not even me, I just go. I've parked outside a couple of times and left, once I bought the wine but dumped it down the drain without a drink. It sucked, but it is what is.
Xoxo

Still haven't decided one way or the other. I did buy a bottle but I've not opened it. I can relate to the zombie mode you're talking about. I've been riding on the temporary boost my av gave me when I bought the bottle. Maybe it isn't as bad as I thought. Maybe I won't drink.

I've been EXACTLY where you are so many times, that's how I relapse nearly every time, I hate it!!!!
You can control it, even if it doesn't seem like it, you drove to the liquor store, posted on here, went in and bought it, came home and posted before you've opened it.
Alcohol doesn't have as much power as you think it does, if it did you would have started drinking it in the liquor before you even paid. YOU are in control clearly.
As someone who has done this same scenario many times over, the craving passes, I promise it will, just gotta ride it out!!

Erin, we love you. I hope after buying the bottle that you stayed strong and did not drink. Then next thing is to dump the bottle down the drain. You can do this. We are with you.
As Jsbodhi said - ride it out.

Erin I really hope you can find something within yourself to overcome this challenge. Your av is strong, but you are stronger. Kick the av in the ass. Dig deep. Play tapes forward, or play them back. Whatever works for you. I do both. I don't want to lose a triplet sister!!

I understand not wanting to fight it anymore erin - but if you drink you'll find yourself back here again anyway..and that's if you're lucky. You may find things can get a lot worse too.

If it feels like an endless grind to fight your addiction right now, maybe you need to look at what you've been doing - maybe you need more support for example, or a different approach?

Your AV loves you when you're tired and worn down. Fight back and dump that bottle...get a good nights rest and then tinker with your plan tomorrow :)

you won't regret waking up sober tomorrow )

D

Erin your my triplet sister too! you have came such a long way...I hope you sleep on all this. I think your outlook will be totally different in the morning and you will be stronger for it.

I hope you didn't drink it Erin...but either way tomorrow is a new day.

Hey Erin! Please Check in with us if you can. I'm sorry I'm just now getting back to this, I was at the hospital getting a treatment and had to go. I've been thinking about you though. I'm sorry you're feeling so miserable and I know it sucks, but you know the booze will just make it suck more.
Can you make a deal with yourself? Can you tell yourself that you won't drink today, but if you still feel like you need to drink tomorrow then you can? Just put it off a bit and see how you feel tomorrow, ok?
Love you Erin and really hope you choose to be good to yourself and dump the booze. We're all behind you, Erin.
xoxo

I was on the edge for awhile but I gave myself time to reconsider instead of just jumping in like I have in the past. I really dont want to drink I just want to feel better and you all helped me remember that it isnt worth the way I'd feel about myself tomorrow. so thanks. I'm honestly a little bummed out though. Mixed feelings. Just can't lie to myself like I used to.

Hope to hear from you soon Erin...this is tough stuff & we are here with you. ((hugs to you)).

Hi Erin! I'm sooooo freaking proud of you sister!! :). These are the victories our sobriety is built on! Way to go!
It's ok to have mixed feelings! It's ok to feel however you feel.
Do you want to talk about what's going on? I know you're feeling crappy, if you wanna talk we're here or pm me if you want.
You are going to be so proud of yourself tomorrow!!

Love you Erin. We are here for you in whatever way you want/need.
Mixed feelings - We are with you on that.
Sometimes I feel like an emotional infant.
Please know that you have the comfort and support of our litter no matter where the rollercoaster ride goes.

Awesome Erin!! Thats exactly how I felt after dumping it out, mixed feelings, we can do this!
I'll remember you on my next zombie drive! Hopefully it'll keep me sober xoxo

Way to go Erin. Dump it out now if you haven't yet?

Made it through the weekend. Sober. Still feeling thoughtful and humbled about my slip last week. And worried I will always be the odd woman out who can't drink. I know not rational, or even true, but that's the trick my AV plays so I figure if I put it out there, I can deal with it. :)
Day 4 coming to close. Goodnight class...

Goodnight Littermates - brave zombie slayers.

Jsbodhi...I know the zombie drive well!! Blah!!

Hi kitty! Ahhh.......the ol odd woman out routine! I know that one well! Good for you for recognizing the AV trash talk! In reality, you'll be the lovely, beautiful, and refreshed woman waking up sober and with no regrets! Ha! :)

It's been an exhausting day for me y'all, but I'm feeling confident that total recovery is just around the corner and I will be stronger than I was before this flare up! My foot was tingly today and that's a huge deal because before it was completely numb! Tomorrow I'm even going to buy new running shoes!!! That's how confident I am in a complete recovery!

Night y'all! Sweet dreams to everyone!
xoxo

Glad to hear you're feeling better Brynn!
BBQ: zombie slayers! Love it!
Have a good night kittycat

Brynn, love your attitude. It's contageous.

Way to go Erin......sending thoughts of strength & love your way!

I love your attitude Brynn.....that is a wonderful thing:)