Hey JL...sorry all this crud is coming down on you. It sucks! But you're so much more capable of handling it sober. Your wife needs you sober as you are her source of comfort right now. You are proving just how strong you really are right now by facing this crap head on sober! You can do this. If I can do it, you can do it!

Unfair stuff happens JL...try and keep an even keel.
Don't ruminate on this and let it snowball into something you can't hold back.

D

Hang in there JL! Hope you and your family all get to feeling better!

You guys are the best. I can't say it enough how much it means to read all of your raw and honest posts, your ups and downs. Just to know I'm not alone in this. I hate day one, but I am so looking forward to a good sober sleep tonight. My sugar is out if whack, like it usually is after a few days of drinking.
So much is on my mind and I guess that's what gets me to cave and make excuses to keep drinking. My dad is sick, inconclusive at this point, but most likely cancer. My ex- boyfriend and I want to get back together but it is so complicated and he is in the midst of a divorce so I'm just waiting it out and just don't know where I stand right now. My ex husbands life is a mess and he hasn't paid child support in 6 months. I can barely make ends meet let alone give my girls a nice Christmas. My mind just seems to jump from one negative scenario to another. I know I handle it all better without alcohol, I just need to stay strong.

JL, sorry for all you are going thru now. I can totally relate, I have days and weeks on end of crappy stuff like that happening to me. It eventually evens out for a bit, so please stay strong. I let stuff like that and more lead me right back to so many day ones. You can do this!

1step, hope you feel better soon too. Hope the doc visit goes well.
Day 3 is almost complete! Ya hoo!

JL good for you for recognizing that your typical reaction would be to drink but it doesn't help anything. Also I know for me when I'm having a bad day it helps to remember that as long as I don't drink, I usually have a much better attitude about everything the next day. Hang in there :)

Well done class of December

shes home now, and things are ok. we had family time, and shes not as bad off about it as she was. I told her that Im sorry for the times that Ive drank recently even though they are a tiny fraction of how I used to go at it. Im going to try to focus on this and stay on track. Not drinking today.

So class, I have an embarrassing thing to admit.

My wife was complaining last week about how I smelled like I "was drinking" even though I swore that I wasn't. My home office and car also smelled any time that I entered them.

I kept thinking that I must have had some empty cans in my office. I kept thinking "what is that smell?" It smells like alcohol.

After almost a week of sobriety, I realize that the smell was ME!

How terrible is that? Eww, nasty!

Terrible but common.

I shudder to think now how bad I must have smelled of booze and smokes during runs to the shops on the bus...

D

Confused here but gradually becoming unconfused
 

Hello All,

Reading through everyone's posts and congrats to everyone for doing so well.

The amount of respect I have for myself over the last 14 days is amazing, for the last four months or five months not quite sure I've been drinking once a week, usually on Monday or Tuesday as strange as that sounds.

And of course waking up the next day from drinking and feeling like I let the world down but especially my family. I know it's only been 14 days but I'm feeling a lot better about myself.

For me I feel like I'm getting over the hump, for some the holidays would be a temp temtation to drink, but not for me because I will be with my family as they are off for the holiday. You see because I'm someone that would drink when I was all alone during the week.

Anyhow thank you to everyone the site helps me very much and so does everyone on it.

Cheers for now, oops sorry I mean have a great night

Talk soon Rob

:ring

I won't say I won't drink again
 

I won't say to my wife I will never drink again because I've said that before and drink again. So I will save those words and let my actions speak for me and just won't drink. And by doing that she will know that I won't drink again.

Rob

Day 4, whaaaaat?

Hi, Mister! I remember you. Come sit by me. :wavey:

Rob, congrats on 14 days! :) and so glad you get to have time with you family over Christmas! I like to drink alone too! Oh...I drank with other people too, but always had to have my secret drinking on top of it! How depressing! So glad we aren't slaves to the booze anymore!

Y'all, so I have a pretty bad migraine right now and the first thing that popped in my head was ooh...I can take some hydrocodone yay! It relaxes me as well as takes the edge off...since I'm out of my usual migraine meds...do y'all think if I take it I'll be 'cheating' ? The reason it kinda concerns me is that I was so happy thinking about getting to take it! I don't want to over analyze and drive myself nuts over every pill but???....thoughts??

Reading the posts and trying to catch up.

Had some time to kill today and was looking for some food. Wife took me into a place that I would usually love. Called beer something. Heaven hell adjuster. Wow. I can't remember! Anyway tons of fancy beers from all over the planet. No food. Wife gets some Belgium beer and I get a ginger beer. (Soda) I spent some time looking at all the fancy stuff that I used to love. It's all marketing for poison. Screw it. The best part was after two gingers and a bunch of water and some Indian delivery food, I went to the bath room; I was standing at the urinal and I felt something was missing. My mind was expecting a buzz. There was no sway, no heaviness, no dizzy, no false confidence and no regret. It was a strange feeling of normal and I liked it.
Plus noticing all the people drinking on a pretty nice day at 1pm not a lot of healthy folks. Dress up the package as craft beer but it's the same damn thing.

Better news got the mountain bike out and hit the trails for a bit. Out of shape!

Wish I could do something for everyone having hard times. Know it will change. May not get better, but things will change.

For a better life: I hope your girls will have a great christmas. With you sober and present how could it not be?

If you have the perfect scenario to drink, you have a greater excuse to be daring.

Hey Brynnster. If you got excited about it and then felt guilt, I think you already know the answer.

Then again, I'm not the one in pain. Just use your sober judgement and not AV judgement whatever you decide. Maybe try ibuprofen instead?

Hope you feel better!

congrats confusedagain - you too Ob :)

D

Day 10. Feeling pretty good. Anxious still, but it's getting better. Found a sponsor, have been religiously going to meetings, and I even go back to work (on a limited basis) this week.

I'm starting to feel human again.

ughh just got some really bad news about a family friend... He basically killed himself through drinking.

This is a tough situation where I'd usually drink to numb it. I'm going to call some AA friends and try and talk it through.

Thoughts and prayers with his family.

very very sad time.

FacingFuture - I am so so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and his family.