Goodmorning everyone
Hope everyone is hanging in. Wasn't able to post a lot yesterday, work was busy and I had some other life issues going on (nonsense tho)
Day 17 and I'm feeling stable still (let's see how long this lasts lol)
The books suggested to me have been great thank you!

Good morning all, A restless night of sleep with some crazy dreams about parties on ferries, I am looking forward to today. It is beautiful here in North Carolina after a huge bout of storms last night which took down a tree in out front yard (and the power on our block). I have a party to go to tonight (hence, likely the dream), which I am hosting for work and therefore I can't get out of...strangely enough - right now, I am now too worried about it as I am feeling absolutely no desire to drink...almost the opposite, I am fearlessly guarding my 5 days and absolutely do not want to start over as that initial decision to quit and follow through was difficult (not sure exactly how I managed to make it, to be honest). Given that I have yet to discover the secret sauce to sobriety, I can not go back. I have never been much of a sweet tooth, so the goobers, raisinettes (sp?), chocolate thing doesn't do it for me - however, I have been eating/craving dried mangos, which is pretty funny. Definitely not a normal part of my taste profile! Thank you all for your posts, they are helpful to read throughout the day whenever I needed support or reminding of the path we are on. Take care, Happy Sober Saturday, Pan

Good day every one. I hope everyone made it through last night fine. I have to admit last night was not fun for me. I was home alone and bored, the AV wasn't really bugging me but I realized that one of my triggers is boredom, so maybe the AV was just trying to be slick. I resisted so I won. :a122:
I am on day 14 and have no plans on looking back.

You and me both Adna, I was on oxy for back pain and slowly increased then bamb. but now I am on day 14.

Good morning all! I've been up for a couple of hours and have been what my Grampsy calls "bright eyed and bushy tailed", lol... I think if my hubby was awake I would be annoying him with how happy I am this morning!

I have really been enjoying meditating in the morning before my house wakes up. Is anyone else doing the free Oprah and Deepak meditations? If not you should check them out. Today during my meditation I realized sobriety HAS to be my #1 priority. I used to think that was unfair to my husband, kids, family and friends... or maybe I was just scared to make that my #1. But it hit me like a meteor had struck me in the head this morning that sobriety has to be #1 so that I can take care of the other priorities, and if sobriety isn't first place than alcohol always will be! wow.... I feel like that is a huge breakthrough for me. I know that won't stop AV from tempting me later today or tomorrow, but I think me realizing that is a huge step in me never drinking again.

Topspin - you crack me up, I loved your post to soliloquy!

Freein - I'm glad your up feeling good about the day like I am! Keep it up!

kitten- Its good you finally got some sleep! Congrats on day 15!

ST - Day 17 is fantastic! I hope you keep feeling stable, I think that is a wonderful thing this early in sobriety. I feel like my moods are bouncing around quite a bit throughout the day, but I don't expect much more at this point.

Pan - Your dreams sound wild, lol. I'll be thinking about you tonight as you are at your party, stay strong! One of my sons adores dried mango slices so we always have quite a few on hand in the house. ;)

Screwed - I'm sorry last night wasn't fun... I hope tonight is better. Day 14 is awesome, congrats!!

Newbies and the rest of you I didn't get to I am happy you all are here and hope you are doing well. Stay strong!

Have a wonderful sober Saturday everyone!! :grouphug:

Up at 6:30 on a rainy Saturday morning. I have not used Meth in over 15 years, but had "using" dreams last night that were very vivid & long. Not sure where that came from, but feel a bit exhausted from it this morning & feel kinda "yuck" just having dreamed about it.

Nice to sit here with my coffee & know I don't have to go to work. Will be taking my son out to his school for pre ball game warmup, then will go do my power walk & sprint some hills then to the weight room for a workout before heading back to ball field for another double header. Exercise has become somewhat of an addiction for me over the last couple of years....a little obsessive about it....but it won't kill me & is a great help with my anxiety. Working out with weights is very empowering & there has never been one time that I have completed a workout & said "I wish I wouldn't have done that".

Congratulations to all who woke up with another day of sobriety & those that are struggling....start again & move forward. Don't let the "monster" pull you down. I know how hard the anxiety can be for many of us, but I know too that for me, most of the anxiety I have experienced is a direct result of my drinking. Seems that lessons more & more with another sober day. Wishing you all a great sober day:)

Sorry you had a cruddy night Mariah! Sounds like you have a lot to keep you busy today! Reading about your workout makes me feel like I've had one myself! lol. I know what you mean about never regretting a workout, maybe I'll get one in today myself. :SteprobL::ExeJump: Thanks for inspiring me. Have a wonderful day!!

Good Morning ChickChick...guess we are up with the chickens this morning. Just saying your name makes me happy....chickchick:)

Haha, glad my screen name makes you happy!! My real chicks make me crazy happy. ;) I spent quite a while feeding, watering and talking to them this morning.

Your doing GREAT ChickChick!!! Hope you have a beautiful day:)

Wish I could say that but my one shoulder that likes to slip out of the socket now reminds me I can't. Then again, chances are if I hadn't done it lifting weights I'd have probably hurt myself doing something else. I had a strong tendency to push my luck in my 20s. :abcw:

LOL !! ...and I thought it was only me , Mariah !

chickchick, :)

Got so.ooo much to do today , .....long night of work coming in about , let's see, 8 hours and 38 minutes.
Better get my *ss in gear !?!

...... Not bright eyed yet , but working on bushy tailed.

Y'all have a great day !!

:)

Hi all,

Chickchick, you make me smile too, and love to see your chick picture each day.

I will check out the Oprah meditations later. She did some work with Ekhart Tolle some time ago, about "the power of now", which I loved. So I'll look forward to the meditations.

I also think that sobriety has to be the number 1 priority, at least for a while. I'm taking it easy in every other area of my life, and no-one has complained yet. In fact, I'm wondering if my family and work folk actually prefer this laissez-faire me. I have a hunch that I might have had the tendency to be a bit intense, (difficult to believe huh?).

I'm looking forward to finding out more about myself without the veil of alcohol: How do I naturally handle difficulties, relax after a hard day at work, overcome boredom or react to a family visit? I can't quite believe that I felt these ordinary things were excuses for me to poison myself with wine. It does seem a bit insane doesn't it?

I think tomorrow will be my 7th day alcohol free. The time isn't that important to me at the moment, it's the fact that I made a true, totally heartfelt decision that I wanted to be free from the misery of dependency. I'm so pleased I acted on that decision, because by now I could be another 7 days deeper in the mire.

Every now and then I'm getting an overwhelming feeling of relief and gratitude. basically thankful that I have a chance to to change the trajectory of my life.

I know that this community has enabled me to get this far, finding SR at the exact moment I needed it was a gift.

Blessings to all.
:c032:

freein- that was so inspiring! Thank you:)

DD, I've been asking myself much of the same. And the whys and how's too. I don't think I it's rationalizing. Rationalizing is when we give ourselves an excuse to drink.
Not when we're telling (even if just ourselves) our stories so that we can understand ourselves more.

I'm learning that the more I understand about not only alcoholism but myself and the relationship those have together, the better equipped I am to make better choices about my recovery.

Congratulations on 2 weeks!

Ok, now I have to admit each time I come across ChickChick's name I get a smile on my face.
:34:

I'm so glad that makes so many of you smile! :c007:

"Smiling's my favorite!" -Buddy The Elf

haha second that

I'm glad we are all taking this journey together. :tyou

Day 12.

Started my morning off by working a half day for some overtime. The money will be nice and plus, it's not like finding ways to occupy time in the early stages of sobriety is a bad thing. Following work, I met up with some friends at a burger joint/bar. It's a pretty nice day in Omaha, so we sat outside. I ate food and just had iced tea. One of my friends just drank and openly said he had drank a large amount of whiskey prior to coming. The other ate and had two drinks over the course of the meal/conversation. Overall, it was mostly positive. I didn't feel pressured to drink, but I also didn't make it a point to reaffirm that I'm living sober. If asked, I certainly would have discussed it, but I'm not trying to wear it like a badge of honor, nor am I going to force it onto anyone else.

So towards the end of the meal, my first real craving started to come over me. My addictive voice was speaking to me for the first time in a while. It was the weight of "never drinking again" that caught my attention. I was never close to acting on it, but it was a long drive home. The comfort of the "immediate gratification"(I'm still reading everyone's posts) that comes from alcohol and urge to feel it was prominent. Not enough to really act on it. I could have just turned around and drank with my other friend all day, but I was overcome with regret of past actions, then depressed/missing my ex, and then feeling sorry for myself. Feeling like I'm not choosing to be sober, I'm being forced to choose sobriety. I even composed a long post about how unfair it was starting to feel. Then, after proofreading it, I noticed a trend... Me, Me, Me, ME. Except, "me" isn't me. It's my addiction throwing every tool it has to trick my brain into thinking using is in my best interest. The insomnia, depression, anxiety, shakes, cold sweats, all fade into the past like a nightmare from childhood. How good I've felt the last few days, gone. All that matters when I'm in that state is why I deserve to drink. Thankfully, I was able to catch this and now I've returned so to speak.

So, thank you all for your posts; they truly help me every day. I'm so thankful for this site. The simple exercise of typing all this out just got me through a completely irrational near moment of weakness. Stay strong!

You did great Noolan. You should feel really good about how you worked through all that.
I'm really thankful for this site too. Our whole class is an inspiration.

I think at this point, all of your names make me smile.

ScrewedUp, I love the graphic you're using now. It's a really beautiful image. I feel like I'm insulting you every time I call you by name. 2 weeks is great. You'll keep feeling better every day now.

Freein, I'm thankful you took the opportunity to change the trajectory of your life, too. It's a courageous move, and you deserve all the good it brings you.

Mariah, you inspired me this morning, and I worked out way longer and harder than I have in a long time. Thanks.

ChichChick, I love the way you just changed your thinking on priorities. I think you're right about the order of them, too.

Kitten, ever since I finally started sleeping again it's about all I really want to do. I hope you enjoyed the early morning.

Solitary, you have come far in 17 days. I think it will keep getting better for you.

Panacea, you sound really strong at 5 days. I hope the party tonight goes well. Is it on a ferry boat?

Izzy, you just keep moving forward and learning more about yourself every day. I love seeing your progress.

Topspin, I really like what you said yesterday about realizing you could only drink in the present. Sometimes the most obvious things are the hardest to see. I hope you have a great night at the office!

It's been 25 days for me, and I feel really good. I'm still not being as focused or productive as I would like, but I know that will get better with time, like everything else has.

Thank you all for being here and sharing yourselves. I appreciate every one of you, and I'm proud of the progress each of us has made.

It worked again, came on here feeling real depressed and came across your post and couldn't help but smile. Worse part is I don't know why.:tyou

Adna you are not insulting me, it reminds me what got me in this situation.

Noolan! That's awesome! You completely turned that around!

ST- how the heck are ya? It's like we can just see the wisdom growing inside your head.

Topspin- we so need your laid back funness and groovy writing. Just reading something that you write helps me remember to chill out(oops, I may have dated myself there).

chick chick- elf! Love him! The singing in the bathroom scene the most.

Mrs b- how was that ice cream social? I went to a chip night last nite. It was amazing.

Lovemesome- don't forget us! Remember, were part of your plan! And you're the only d*** cussing partner I've ever had!

Someone said(sorry, still putting posts w names) that they're making recovery a priority(freein?). That sounds good to me. I've thought the same thing, maybe a little guilt there for me. So, I needed to hear that today.

And now, I must go. My very good book awaits.

I love Saturdays!
(And my dog:).

❤️:ring❤️

One day away from four weeks sober :) I'm pretty psyched for tomorrow and our AA ice cream social...apparently last year there were over 100 people who attended, so it should be pretty packed again this year!

Yesterday my husband and I had dinner at a Mexican restaurant with his family. This place has notorious margaritas that I've never passed up...a small part of me was worried about going there, but luckily I didn't even crave one. Out of 7 of us, only 2 ordered a margarita so maybe that made it easier, not really sure, but either way I was solely focused on my plateful of pork enchiladas!!!

Afterwards, hubs and I went grocery shopping with his mom, and we also stopped so he could get some new work shirts. By the time we got home and put away our groceries, I was EXHAUSTED!

Today was another library day, but before that, I went to my mom's house and walked her dog for her. It is a bit chilly today, but still enjoyable...her neighborhood is literally like the movie Pleasantville, and taking walks there is extremely refreshing.

That's about it...my husband recently unpacked a bunch of his laserdiscs and player from storage, so it looks like a movie marathon for us tonight..right now we are watching Mermaids.

Hope everyone is doing well as resisting any urges they may experience! I've found that my cravings hit me at the oddest times...like not at dinner with other people who are drinking, but in the early afternoon at home as I'm getting dressed or something. Kind of odd but whatever. The good thing is it's already getting a little easier to shut them down.

Noolan - great job on overcoming AV! When you get in that ME frame of mind it can be tricky to get out of (at least it is for me)! I really enjoy your posts.

Adna - Thank you for the kind words. :)

Screwd- I just realized I spelled it screwed earlier, I think that's the way I've been reading it all along! But I feel bad using it too! Love the phoenix! I didn't realize what it was until Adna commented on it, I'm not being very observant the past few days! Glad I could cheer you up a bit. Hang in there!

Izzy- We just LOVE Elf too.... that bathroom scene is one of my favorites too. When someone gets mad in our house it is very likely someone is going to say "Oohhh, your and ANGRY ELF"!! Haha.

Mrsbee- I hope you have a great time at your ice cream social, it sounds wonderful... and makes me want ice cream! Congrats on nearly 4 weeks!

Well this afternoon here is a little cruddy. :( Not that I'm thinking of drinking. But we lost my hubby's favorite chick... literally lost... hopefully she will turn up. We spent about two hours looking for her. There is a chance she might wonder back around nightfall but I don't have a very good feeling about it.

Does anyone know what age range is considered "young person" in terms of AA meetings?

I'm 28 and it's a hard age to determine that from, concidering the drinking age is technically 21 I would be young but I don't act 28 in certain ways either, def a tough call

Izzy I'm good, I'm trying my hardest to not freak out again lol, and keeping on the books and work, I have been keeping to MY routine and haven't had any temptation, which seems to be the point where I break down the worst.
The whole idea of me being the controller of my emotions has been working wonders for me. I'm still feeln down and having really bad headaches but other then that I am maintaing! Big hug to everyone and no matter what day it is I'm glad everyone is here :)

Hope you guys find the chick chickchick. Now that was weird typing out. Don't feel bad about it Screwd, screwed however you want to spell it. If I was insulted by it I wouldn't have used it. I have to admit my mistakes and that reminds me that I have a long road ahead of me, so long the light looks dim but I see one. As long as it isn't the headlight of a train. :yikes: