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Class of September 2013 - Part 26 |
First one! Lol Renarde - take care hon! Ill be praying for you! |
The thing I learned recently Fish, that drinking isn't a "hurrah" - it isn't a pleasant experience like my mind wants to convince me that it will be. As long as I kept trying to remember fondly my experiences with alcohol....that was my downfall. I had to become convinced that alcohol is poison to me. I had to think of wine, the same way I think about the rat poison in my garage. Renarde, I came down with a virus this morning so I sympathize. We will get better! ***** In my neck of the woods, my company announced yesterday we have been sold. :( Weird times here. Everyone keeps telling us nothing is going to change, don't worry, business as usual....blah, blah, blah. And they want me to sign some paperwork that includes a non-compete agreement in exchange for a bonus paid over three years, which they can stop paying if they lay me off. I am going to need to either shut up and sign....or negotiate some terms. Negotiating is very uncomfortable when it comes to myself. I do it for a living, but that's different. Time to grow up though. Not sure yet, how I want to proceed, but wish me luck! |
I hope you can broker a great deal LG :) D |
Sorry to hear that Lil. I went through something similar in the fall. For me I made the decision to move on as quickly as possible. I could have stayed on until they decided they didnt need me anymore and earned a nice severance package. It wasnt worth it to me. I honestly did not trust the company to have my best interest. Unfortunately, its all about the bottom line. But everyone is different and its a personal decision. I just hope the non-compete wont keep you from any opportunities for a new job. Is that in effect even if they let you go at some point? Good luck with your decision. I know you will make the right one ;) |
I did not drink today even though my AV had me in a head lock. I I know that I am sick and that a sick person needs to be treated for their ailments. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to go to rehab however I do not know a single person who is ever been to rehab so does that mean that I'm a bigger drunk then everybody else? And then there are people in this room that's like I've gone 5 months it's so easy I think you're an alien with a freaky head it is not easy. It's the hardest challenge I've ever faced in my life and it scares me. |
I didn't go to rehab either and I don't know anyone in my 'real life' who did. I still nearly killed myself Fishn.... There's no reason to be scared - I drank all day everyday for several years - if I can this sober thing you can too Fishn :) D |
2 Attachment(s) Attachment 21105 This is a couple views I had today as I wandered around trying to get my head straight |
~~~Food for thought ~ Tuesday Edition~~~ ~~~Today I Declare~~~ ~~~Note: I want to thank everyone for their input concerning yesterday and my state of affairs...I must say that it is sometimes difficult to be vulnerable and admit ones slip ups and bad choices but not expressing them here would be unbeneficial to what we all are trying to accomplish. With that said, honesty is not always the easy road but the necessary road to work the process adequately. Thanks again to you all .~~~ ~~~Today I Declare~~~ Today, I declare I am strong and brave, not timid nor weak Today I declare that my past will no longer limit my future and just because I couldn't achieve something yesterday doesn't mean I won't do it this day. Today I declare that I'll honor my talents, express my gifts and reveal my creativity to everyone around me. Today, I declare I'll be loyal to my values, respectful of my mission and fiercely focused on my dreams. Today, I declare that I am a maker versus a consumer, a giver versus a taker and a visionary versus a victim. Today, I declare that I will always be part of the solution and never part of the problem. Today, I declare that when I fall, I will certainly rise and when I'm in doubt, I will persist. Today, I declare that I will cherish my health, feed my mind and nourish my soul. Today, I declare that I am surrounding myself with people who are smarter, faster, stronger and better than me so I am uplifted by their models and inspired by their examples. Today, I declare that I set the standard in my work, am becoming the icon of my industry and a legend at my craft. Today, I declare that I adore my family, am grateful for my friends and am an encourager to all those who are blessed to cross my path. Today, I declare that this New Year is MY year. My time to grow, excel, laugh, love, win, believe, persevere and serve, knowing that I am truly the leader of my fate, the owner of my results and the hero of my destiny. **This day/post is a very important and meaningful one to me so hence the repost ** "What comes easy won't last...but what truly lasts won't come easy" |
Originally Posted by FishnHippy
(Post 4450845)
I did not drink today even though my AV had me in a head lock. I I know that I am sick and that a sick person needs to be treated for their ailments. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to go to rehab however I do not know a single person who is ever been to rehab so does that mean that I'm a bigger drunk then everybody else? And then there are people in this room that's like I've gone 5 months it's so easy I think you're an alien with a freaky head it is not easy. It's the hardest challenge I've ever faced in my life and it scares me. The short answer is no, not at all. I've mentioned previously that one of my AA meetings is held in a rehab clinic. So, I meet with the inpatients every week. What are these folks like ? No different to your plain vanilla alcoholic. Its just that they are fortunate enough to go to rehab. These patients ages range from late teens to folks in their 60s. Their drinking habits are as varied as those in this class. The one common thing is they all recognize they have a problem with alcohol and want to do something about it. Remember that the vast majority of folks who have a problem with alcohol do nothing about it. I have heard stories of folks who are bright yellow with jaundice who deny it, folks who are charged with sexual assault who deny it, folks in AA who deny it (the newcomers) ! So, dont be afraid. The vast majority of rehab folks I talk to every week say it is one of the best things that has ever happened to them. (edit: Oh and I do recall that Black from our class mentioned she went to rehab) You can do this Fishy ! |
Originally Posted by FishnHippy
(Post 4450845)
I did not drink today even though my AV had me in a head lock. I I know that I am sick and that a sick person needs to be treated for their ailments. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to go to rehab however I do not know a single person who is ever been to rehab so does that mean that I'm a bigger drunk then everybody else? And then there are people in this room that's like I've gone 5 months it's so easy I think you're an alien with a freaky head it is not easy. It's the hardest challenge I've ever faced in my life and it scares me. Secondly, If you know that you are very ill with this addiction and rehab seems to be the option that you may need to entertain, you owe it to the rest of your life and those that care for you to see about it. I can agree that it will be one of the biggest challenges you will ever face and for all of us living our lives without alcohol is a scary idea. Will it be easy???HELL NO!!! Will you make mistakes along the way??? HELL YES!!!Will you want to give up at times???HELL YEAH!!! But are you worth it??? HELL YEAH!!! We are here to support you on the journey if you let us FishN:ring We are all in this together my friend, so let's do it together(I think there is a song that goes right there lol) |
Originally Posted by FishnHippy
(Post 4450845)
I did not drink today even though my AV had me in a head lock. I I know that I am sick and that a sick person needs to be treated for their ailments. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to go to rehab however I do not know a single person who is ever been to rehab so does that mean that I'm a bigger drunk then everybody else? And then there are people in this room that's like I've gone 5 months it's so easy I think you're an alien with a freaky head it is not easy. It's the hardest challenge I've ever faced in my life and it scares me. Also, I tried the whole "last hurrah" thing on my 30th birthday weekend. I was in Savannah and I had a blast. Then I got back to New York and a week later I was by myself on my couch miserably drinking a pint of wild turkey. That was ultimately my "last hurrah." I was talking to a couple of people yesterday about wanting to choose my sobriety date. At first I thought 9/13/13 was cool. Then it became 9/28/13. Not as cool. Then 11/11/13. Pretty cool. Ultimately I surrendered on 11/24/13. Nothing special about that date besides the fact that I finally said enough is enough to ALL mind-altering substances. It took me 2 months to get completely sober and the past 5 months have been the hardest, awesomest months of my life. Whoever said it was easy was lying to you and to themselves!!! So proud of you for sticking to your guns. It IS SO HARD. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! This is a time to go easy on yourself and be patient with yourself and open to change. Someone said last night in a meeting: "It's not always about winning, but I want to be in a position to win." You can't be in a position to win if you're drinking, but right now you are positioning yourself to receive winning opportunities! |
Originally Posted by LillianGish
(Post 4450756)
In my neck of the woods, my company announced yesterday we have been sold. :( Weird times here. Everyone keeps telling us nothing is going to change, don't worry, business as usual....blah, blah, blah. And they want me to sign some paperwork that includes a non-compete agreement in exchange for a bonus paid over three years, which they can stop paying if they lay me off. I am going to need to either shut up and sign....or negotiate some terms. Negotiating is very uncomfortable when it comes to myself. I do it for a living, but that's different. Time to grow up though. Not sure yet, how I want to proceed, but wish me luck! One of my ex-companies did a major restructuring and we all had to novate our contracts, etc. I didnt really think too much about it at the time until the day when we had to sign and I was chatting to a peer. He negotiated some of the terms and conditions which I was initially surprised at until I realised that of course, one can negotiate these things. So, I copied his amendments :D Are non-compete clauses legal in the US. I thought generally one cant enforce them as it impedes one's ability to seek new employment. If they do lay you off, then I assume the non-compete would also end. Anyway, make sure all your existing rights, pensions, etc are carried through ! Good luck and also rest up !! |
Originally Posted by BLKDIESEL
(Post 4450897)
First, Fishn congrats on not drinking today, small steps mean alot on this journey. Stringing together days are very important for the psyche and the self-esteem. Understand that everyone's addiction is personal and different so one person's treatment options may not work for the other. Secondly, If you know that you are very ill with this addiction and rehab seems to be the option that you may need to entertain, you owe it to the rest of your life and those that care for you to see about it. I can agree that it will be one of the biggest challenges you will ever face and for all of us living our lives without alcohol is a scary idea. Will it be easy???HELL NO!!! Will you make mistakes along the way??? HELL YES!!!Will you want to give up at times???HELL YEAH!!! But are you worth it??? HELL YEAH!!! We are here to support you on the journey if you let us FishN:ring We are all in this together my friend, so let's do it together(I think there is a song that goes right there lol) |
Originally Posted by LillianGish
(Post 4450756)
The thing I learned recently Fish, that drinking isn't a "hurrah" - it isn't a pleasant experience like my mind wants to convince me that it will be. As long as I kept trying to remember fondly my experiences with alcohol....that was my downfall. I had to become convinced that alcohol is poison to me. I had to think of wine, the same way I think about the rat poison in my garage. Renarde, I came down with a virus this morning so I sympathize. We will get better! ***** In my neck of the woods, my company announced yesterday we have been sold. :( Weird times here. Everyone keeps telling us nothing is going to change, don't worry, business as usual....blah, blah, blah. And they want me to sign some paperwork that includes a non-compete agreement in exchange for a bonus paid over three years, which they can stop paying if they lay me off. I am going to need to either shut up and sign....or negotiate some terms. Negotiating is very uncomfortable when it comes to myself. I do it for a living, but that's different. Time to grow up though. Not sure yet, how I want to proceed, but wish me luck! Businesses always say that nothing is going to change- until it does. Sometimes new management cleans house, sometimes they keep people. Sometimes it is a mix. You know your industry and your role and your value and you can use that to get what you want! I know uncertainty sucks. But I was told recently that my higher power has 3 answers: 1. Maybe 2. Not Yet 3. I have something better All you can do is put yourself in a position or receive the blessings that I know are out there for you. I am praying for your success, LG! :hug: |
I'm home from the hospital. Still very sick but being managed with meds. I had 4 bags is IVs given to me. I am really out of it on a host of narcotics(fentanyl and Norco) and sedatives (Ativan) plus Zofran. I can't take a lot if regular anti nausea meds because I get something called tardive dyskinesia - workaholic I bet you know what that is. So I am totally out of it and that is very weird. It felt good telling the hospital people I never drink. My BP is still very low but it should go up as I am able to tolerate more. I am going to watch tv in bed and go to sleep. Please pray that my daughter doesn't get this. |
rest up renarde. D |
Thanks Dee. I have cancelled all obligations for the week and I am going to stay in bed and take my meds. |
sounds like a wise move :) D |
Thank you. I am glad SR is here. I feel lonely and sad. It really brings home that I don't have family here or friends that love close enough to me to help. I miss my mom and dad. I hope the move here when they retire. |
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