I noticed you used the word "isolating" earlier and the above also stood out at me. I am really prone to isolating. I had to live apart from my husband for a few months and I realized that I had gone entire days in silence - no music, TV, phone calls, not seeing or talking to anyone. I didn't want my child to grow up mute (lol) so I had to snap out of it, but I know what that is like. I also know that feeling of being really avoidant of what you need to do, and carrying around a vague cloud of anxiety and guilt because of it. It's hard to break through this sometimes, so I hope you are extra proud of yourself!!!!

Oh yes. Pie sounds phenomenal. Didn't want to skip that. Plenny, I'm so glad you have that sober friend and you have this cool project idea!

Melina, thank you for reminding me that getting too hungry (or angry or lonely or tired) is a trigger. I'm so glad you are doing well tonight.

Bedtime for me.

Hehehe Melina
Thanks for cruising around with me. Good to know I have a posse

I think this is the hour when I'm up late and I'm waiting for the Australians....
Haha going to try to sleep well tonight. See you all in the morning :)

Morning all. Wow so many posts to catch up on.
Congratulations Kell and Brooksie on 40 days. And well done Brooksie for dragging yourself to that meeting; it certainly sounded like the right thing to do.
Plenny that is great news about your project. Focus on that creative talent of yours and try and forget that difficult ex friend.
Lillian I am so glad you are ok after that accident. How shocking , It must have really shaken you up. I loved the Keats quote, thank you. I studied him at school and had forgotten how much I loved his work.
Melina well done for beating that AV and resisting the boozy pizza.
Renarde I loved how you talked about the apple of knowledge and how having tasted it, drinking would be a defiant act now. You put it so eloquently!
Hi to everyone else too from (another) wet and windy morning in the UK. I hope you all have a lovely day

Happy birthday 1step youll soon be as old as me lol

Sorry all slipped big time yesterday hubby phoned he likes someone where he works and wants to see if it will work out he's not totally sure but fed up of travelling but still wants to see me now and again cos he loves me bah

Iommy you my hero for staying sober though this xxx

Drinking didn't help just cried all night didn't even knock me out oh well fresh start I suppose

that doesn't sound like a good deal for you at all. Tallia.
I hope you'll let him know his options just decreased by one....

I'm sorry it happened but it may be one of those silver lining things in the end?

Glad you're back here too :)

D

I know what I need to do its just do hard need a good sober night sleep tonight.

Managed to get myself into work today look almost presentable after last night's binge.

Honestly last 6 months have been the worse ever since holidays when my dad had heart attack on plane coming home from holidays. There were 4 of us on the holiday my friend who i thought was like my sister (I honestly don't have any other relatives apart from one cousin and aunt) didn't want to bother anymore now my hubby has gone bananas it's just me and my dad who is getting frailer quickly. The 2 people I thought would be there for me have left me and all I ever did to them was try to make them happy bah having a real pitty party todsy

Tallia, I am sorry to hear about your father and friend. Trying to please others is tough I think when you are trying to stay sober. My view is that you need to focus on yourself and protect your sobriety. That can be selfish but you need to be selfish when it comes to sobriety. You can be of service to others only if you are sober.

Sorry to say but in respect to your husband, all I can think is WTF ! His behaviour is quite deplorable. And to tease your emotions in the delicate state you are in is not acceptable. It's no wonder you had a relapse. I would have accompanied the drinking with a rampage as well ! Take it easy, relax, recuperate, rehydrate and forgive yourself. You cant blame yourself for this !

My family really dosent understand. I know I should be sober to post, but i'm in the middle of a stress storm.

I can't take care of my home, at times I lie in the same place for hours. No job.

I really blew it folks, H1t and run at 1:30 am to guess where. I dont know what to do about that. Biga Biga Stress, When the cops find out. I dont have50 other problems to handle, oh wrong, so thats over.

God I unloaded to my sister today, and my Dad last week, and I'm not taking care of myself.

Can there ever be a silver lining? Here, its Movember, men dont have to shave and i think i look like a try hard to have a beard, but god dam girls are really suddely interested?

Facial hair is best gone, I'm getting used to about 8 days of growth, I sure as hell would like to shave it off, OK, but Im not going to be the guy in November without really gross facial hair, really every man around here looks like Grisley Adams.

Can I post here? I'm kinda not in the sober circle and I dont believe i can ever, boy, thats about how i am, hope you are all well.
Where is the 30 years drunk and hoping to stop forum?

sorry but I'm finding you hard to follow here, Space.

If you were involved in some kind of actual hit and run incident, the best option is to go speak to the police and sort it out.

I dunno what else to tell you really - the more, and the longer, we drink the worse things get.

I ask this out of genuine concern: how bad do things have to get for you before sobriety starts to look like the preferred option?

NFW, I will not have a god dam life with a record. Dee, you must have been sober and saintly a long time to suggest going to the cops.

All due respect, my window foged over and I could not see.

Cops around here are absolute Asses, I'm not going anywhere near them. I have a dozen personal stories of their brutality.

No way at all. Never happening.

Q: How bout going and screwing your life for the for the next forever? Go to the Police.

A: Thanks but I'd rather not.


Cops around here are really bad, man i'd make my sit so much worse,

Ya it's a catch 22, I have to choose the better outcome OK?

Tallia,

I am so sorry about your situation. What Dee and Kaneda said is very wise, especially tHe part about taking good care of yourself: rest, recuperate, rehydrate, etc.

Hugs to you, friend, and I'm so inspired that you are sober. That is a true accomplishment. No matter what is going on around you, you have that gift you gave to yourself. Hold your head high, you have a lot to be proud of, Tallia!!

Your Septembers are here for you, feel free to work it out here in this safe space.

Clemence! Good to hear from you! It's wet and windy here in Chicago, too! I hope you have a really good day today as well!

Have a good day, my September buddies.

I woke up craving a cigarette. I know better than to do it but it started the crabby engine revving. I'm gonna have a yogurt and see if that shuts it up. I don't have the energy to be crabby all day.

Also, I need to acknowledge how relieved I am I did not drink or smoke last night. I would've been drinking 'at' people who bother me. I'm so glad I didn't screw up my health and my brain bc of stress. That excuse and escape is no longer valid. It truly is better to sit through the itchy parts than to poison myself. I would've been an absolute stinky wreck this morning and I probably would have ditched my new job, no joke.

It's scary being an alcoholic armed with a little knowledge that I didn't have before, like how Renarde was saying that drinking would now be a defiant act. Absolutely. I feel like I am slowly making my way out of a haunted house. I get a breath now and then and I think I'm at the exit, but then a murderous clown pops out and makes me poop myself in fear.

I need to keep in mind that it's early days, it's early days, it's early days.

One week crave-free does not make me cured.

Two weeks sober doesn't mean there isn't a lot of damage still in the scrambled egg noggin.

Etc., etc.

Rest, recuperate, rehydrate, in the words of my friend Kaneda.

Today I pray for the removal of arrogance and complacency.

xoxo, lovies.

Please report this to the police.

Did you hurt someone space?

You need to tell police.

Tallia, I'm so sorry your husband is being such an idiot. What exactly is he asking for? I wish I could give you a hug in real life. I understand why you wanted to escape from those feelings.

Love it!!

Space, you need to report your accident to the police. Did you hurt someone?

We are going away this weekend, for 3 nights, for a birthday party for a relative of my husband. I an sure there will be drinking. There is not missing it. The kids are coming, and it is a big deal to husband and his family, and I also want to go to see this uncle. It could be his last birthday, as he is that old.

I am not too worried about drinking there, but bet it will set off me wanting to drink after. When we get home. I see a pattern in myself that I relapse after staying strong through an event or trip, etc... So, this is good, I guess. That I see where it can take me and am putting it out there. I can try to do it different and better.

When travelling these days, with th ekids, I have that feeling that I do not want to be altered. My daughter has food allergies and any event can lead us to an alergic reaction if she eats the wrong thing or if something os contaminated with her allergens. we are very careful, but I am on edge when we travel and have to go to a specific venue, not neccesarily that we have vetted. we do bring snacks. We do not have a kitchen this trip.

It should be fun, all that stress aside. The food stress is a constant undercurrent we have when we travel.

So, trick is not to feel like I need to de-stress with a bottle of wine when we get home.