Sounds like you're really on the right track BrOOksie :)

D

Yes, and that answer was unanimous! I feel like we are family. It seriously pains me when someone leaves. I'm so glad you are back.

I feel like poo. Took NyQuil and I'm hoping for the first good nights sleep in days.

Kaneda, thank you so much. I am hopeful this has nothing to do with that exposure. If I can't shake it I will go in and get another test.

Hang in there guys - we will feel good to wake up sober tomorrow.

Brooksie you just blow me away sometimes! Xoxo

It's good to read you again Got Grace, thanks SOOOOO much. It feels good to be warmly welcomed back. I have messed up a handful of times since I joined the September class but I always felt that that was the group I joined, so that was my group! For a moment I did think about just jumping into the class of November, but what stopped me was thinking of all of you and how many of us are aware of each other's patterns and history and tendencies, making it easier for us to help each other. I agree that everyone should stick to the group they feel at home in.
I want to catch up on what everyone's been up to. Between this thread and the Artists in Recovery thread, a lot has happened and I feel bad for putting myself in the dark for so long..

Thanks Renarde!! I'm so sorry if I made anyone worry. I guess there was definitely reason to worry. I get worried about people who disappear... But I'm ok. I feel lucky

((((Plenny))))

Sooo good to see you post!! I did not message you, but I HAVE been thinking about you. I've missed my New York classmate!

WELCOME BACK!

Try not to beat yourself up!! I am learning that Sobriety is a JOURNEY that continues each day we that wake up and have to face the decision of wether or not to drink which, for me, happens EVERY DAY!

Yes, you slipped on that journey, but you ALSO got back up! Instead of letting the experience derail you, you LEARNED from it and are still walking forward!!

Slips like the one you encountered can cause us to reflect on our entire drinking career, which is fine, but you have to remember not to look back for too long. If you focus too long on where you've been, you won't be able to see where you are GOING.

You are HERE. You are SHARING. You are AWESOME! :hug:

Thanks Br00ksie
Yep this week was a microcosm of my life prior to July. Waking up shaking and feeling disgusting, and the first word that came to my mind was "Help"
Of course, I didn't seek help. Sometimes I think I'm my worst enemy.
Going to keep taking it one day at a time
Thanks

Renarde -- I heard about a doughnut shop in Oregon that makes a doughnut glazed with NyQuil

Whyyyy???

Right now that doesn't sound too bad! LOL

I missed you Plenny.

Thank you, Brooksie!!! I'm looking forward to having some structure to my day and meeting new people! Thank you for such sound and thoughtful advice, I will certainly keep it all in mind in case I get squirrelly with the new gig!

You sound so great, I am so happy you are always aware of what is safe for you! Keep up the great work!


Plenny, I'm so happy you're back with us!! Rest your body and mind and stick around here!

xoxo, everybody!

I missed you too Uninvited! Thanks :)

<<waving towards NYC>>

Welcome back Plenny - hope you're feeling better tonight. You must be exhausted.

I missed you too.
Lillian

I AM exhausted! I feel bloated and stiff. Blech.
I should write myself a letter right now so I can read it before I drink. Of course, I am rebellious. So I don't know what will work. But for now, I'm happy to stop. I'm happy to sober up. Sucks I have to go through day 3 and 4 again

I missed you too! Thanks

Plenny, post your letter here!

It could help us all!

Have a good night, everyone, sweet dreams!

That's a good idea Melina.



"Before you go out tonight,

I'm writing this on day 1 after a 10 day binge that resulted in one slip up, one night, when I was nervous and navigating a situation I hadn't navigated sober. I thought I'd feel relaxed and in control and euphoric. I thought I'd find camaraderie through drinking with others. I thought I'd bounce back after one night and go back to my normal sober self.

The opposite happened. I became more nervous after a drink. So I had more. The euphoria never happened, and the control went out the window. The old demons of low self esteem and self-consciousness came creeping back. So I had more drinks. Then, I succeeded in deafening ALL of my voices. I didn't care how I acted and didn't feel anything. I didn't do anything damaging but I COULD have and I WOULDN'T have cared. I did behave like a person I'm not really proud of. And, if I had stayed sober I would have been very proud of myself because I do like myself sober.

I didn't recover from the one slip. I woke up shaking and drank all day the next day and behaved exactly the same way. Then the next day. And then the next seven days after that. Now I'm here and I think to myself that nothing I did was enhanced by drinking. It was only darker. And more chaotic. And if I hadn't done it I would be feeling proud of myself and my week, and I'd remember it.

So before you go out tonight, remember that nothing changes for the better when you're drinking. And there is room for nothing else in your life when you open that bottle or get that glass of wine. It's all a fantasy based on a chemical addiction and propaganda.

And if you keep breathing and keep getting through each moment, you'll make it through the night, sober."

This is AMAZING. SO honest and insightful! :scoregood

If I may be so bold, I will say that I think this is a letter that EVERYONE on here has wanted to write to themselves at some point! I DEFINITELY have! Thank you so much for posting/sharing! Xoxo
:ring

Wow, that was a really frank letter, Plenny. A great reminder to me as well. Thank you. It's good to have you back ! Please stay with us. Please don't beat yourself up, it doesn't help. We are fighting an addiction not ourselves !

United we are strong ! :ring

The Nyquil donut is no longer available. Public health officials forced a discontinuation. I dunno....you could create something like this yourself, but gosh - I think I'll pass. This seems like a really bad buzz. You'd want to sleep but the sugar would keep you awake forcing you to fully experience the virus all night long.

I missed this earlier.

Congrats on even considering AA, UI! That is a big deal. :c011:

You mentioned in an earlier post that you isolated/drank alone to prevent others from seeing that you had a problem. I used to do the SAME thing!! I would drink around others, but also drink alone beforehand and afterward and hide bottles and sneak drinks so that people wouldn't see HOW much I was drinking.

To me, isolating so as not to be labeled or exposed = fiercely protecting your vulnerability.

I am learning in recovery that my AV is EXTREMELY connected to my fears, PARTICILARLY my fear of vulnerability!

The longer I am sober, the more in-tune with that fear of vulnerability I become. Now, as SOON as I start to sense it, I run like hell in the opposite direction toward supportive and understanding people who will UNDERMINE my fear/self-loathing and NURTURE my confidence/self-love!

I personally have found a great deal of people in AA to be nurturing, supportive and understanding and I try to minimize my interaction with those who are NOT as much as humanly possible!!

Try to remember: