Had a great celebration dinner with my mom.

I ate rabbit pasta with summer squash for an app. Then pan-roasted trout with brussels sprouts and bacon vinaigrette. And for dessert, molten chocolate cake "smore" with toasted marshmallows, graham cracker crumbles and smoked ice cream.

That's right. I ate dessert. And I didn't die! Although I can feel the evil sugar coursing through my veins.

I am full :)

She even brought me groceries (I gave her my credit card) so wouldn't have to walk to the grocery store. One one hand it irks me a bit that she's treating me like a cripple, but on the other, it's nice to be taken care of when I'm in pain.

Joy - I am not married but I am getting my first in law soon. Luckily, she is a nice girl. A bit crazy but so is my brother. And me for that matter.

Hello Marchers,


Joy! Congrats on the race! We all knew you could do it, little cheating might have helped. lol.

DD, congrats on 6 months, enjoy your night out.

Lots of talk about smoking. I think it's time I tried to quit again.


I Decided today was my last day at 2nd job.

Was thinking about going til the end of the year, but I don't think I can do it. My attitude will just go downhill so it's best for the club and me to walk away now. This morning all I could think was "get me outta here". I'm finding myself getting annoyed at the customers that sit there all day long and actually cringe when they walk in 2 minutes after I do and salivate until I get the bar open.

Two of them have live on sailboats, yet they sit on a stool for 8 to 10 hours every day. All I can think is , Why buy a boat and move here just to sit in a bar that doesn't even have a water view?

Looking forward to having weekends all to myself now. Maybe get back into scuba.

Read for a while, then go for a ride on my bike and then cook dinner -- baked dinner tonight.

Dig, your dinner sounds gteat, but I cannot believe you had dessert. Welcome to the dark side, my friend. Lucky you get a SIL you like well.

Ken, I agrre that you should deep six that 2nd job. Scuba diving sounds better.

Marcher, a bike ride sounds good. And dinner!
Goodbye, Good night, Hasta manana, ya'll

DD, don't worry about feeling like you are being treated like a cripple. Besides the fact that you are in a temporary way, sometimes it's good karma to let close family and friends help you out. And sit back and savor it while li lasts. You can be sure you'll be doing the same for one of them, lol!

DD love the sound of the meal mmmm let your mum get your groceries, you're not a cripple, you're her wee boy who's hurting and she can't kiss it better, so at least she can be sure and pick the best fruit and veggies for you!
I also didn't want to quit smoking when I did, I just got scared of losing bits of me to cancer.
Sass I too want an ecig now! Lol

JG I wonder what the poor step ford wife to be is being told about her soon to be SIL (" like a mother to her I am, dear girl loves me to bits, says she couldn't manage without me")

Budd ditch the bar grab the scuba gear, steal one of the booze rats boats ( they won't know it's gone if you're back before they leave the bar) and go out day after day swimming with the fishes!
Shoes, funnily enough the only thing about everyone getting drunker was the space invader part of it. Hanging over you, clutching your arm, breathing beery/smoky fumes in your face, yeuch! I'm sure a dinner party was more civilised drunk or not! I remember once my mum got tipsy at the dinner table and demanded of my then bf ' when are you going to marry my daughter and make an honest woman of her!" She was mortified the next day! He didn't run away and is now married to me so she obviously didn't scare him off!!

LP one habit at a time sweetie, let's get you sober then we will sort your ciggies!

Marcher! Who do you meet on your cycle rides that you need to tart up for!!!! Lol

Toots I agree with Sass this is a marvellous way of looking at it. I'm going to borrow this if I may for my journal.

I sympathise with those of you who are still smoking but not happy about it. I smoked for decades, tapering is what did it for me although I didn't realise it at the time. Twenty years ago w couldn't smoke in the staffrooms anymore so I stopped smoking during the work day time because I didn't want the kids to see me huddled round the corner of a building having a fag. Then as people got more sensitive about people smoking in their houses and restaurants started banning smoking, I stopped smoking when out but I'd make up for it when I got home! Eventually I got to the stage where I only smoked when I drank so guess what happened in March?

I don't miss it at all. Don't take this the wrong way if you are still smoking but I've developed a huge aversion to the smell of tobacco. When I'm near anyone who is/has smoked recently the smell overwhelms me.

The good stuff? Not one 'flu this winter, one slight cold, no morning cough, no snoring anymore, no racing heart, blood pressure down as you know.

Oh Dig, too bad I'm old enough to be your Mom, a cool new farm to table restaurant is my idea of heaven! Glad you had a good time and the food sounds a-w-e-s-o-m-e.

Ken I think you made a good decision about your second job, a really wise one, good on ya.

Recipes this weekend: two loaves of regular bread, dried honey cayenne chickpeas (for snacks), spiced strawberries, black quinoa corn muffins and almond milk. Now I'd better go and attend to that baked dinner.

"LP one habit at a time sweetie, let's get you sober then we will sort your ciggies!"

Ha ha........one thing about me and ciggies, is you can never associate us together. I screw up my face so badly at the smell if the wind changed, I assure you that would not be a good look.

Think you maybe read my post wrong Toots but you're right, who am I if I can't even dry out. If i so happen to take up the habit now, this is how i'd no doubt look! :)

Hay, Marcher, will ya come cook for me? Pretty please?

Shoes, just an add-on note: I would never suggest that anyone should quit smoking or at a particular time. You have had more than enough on your plate that IMHO quitting smoking should be on the back burner! We can all only take so much at one time.

And I agree with Toots that one habit at a time is best. I suspect that it's much more difficult to stop smoking while still drinking because our brains aren't working too well!

Have a good MonDay to all :-)

LifeT, oh my, that is one incredible pic! The heilan coo looks much nicer :-)

Toots, I'll tell you what she'll be indoctrinating that poor girl with:(You should have seen Joy not even a year ago! She just looked awful, and acted so stupid all of the time. Don't ever get yourself in her spot. Its a good thing she came to live here so I could watch over my baby boy while she lay around all the time, not contributing. We didn't know what we were going to do with her.)
You know, it helps to get that voice of hers out of my head this way.
The new girl has all of the qualifications, too! She's young, pretty, white, demur, church-going, sings and plays piano, studying to be a teacher, and has good breeding hips and teeth. And they know her family with money, which is muy importante. Ugh! Ok, ok, enough of that.

Marcher, the baking plans sound yummo. Sometimes I bake some canned cinnamon rolls just to make my house smell good. I did that every time I showed it to sell, too. Buyers thought I was the quintessential baker!( And I took those canned cinnamon rolls to MIL- haha!)

LP, no, don't start smoking. It's an expensive habit.

Sassy, I hope you have a good day today and are able to get out and about some!

Everyone else, happy montuesday, don't let it bite you!:c033:

Hahaha Joy. Good teeth and breeding hips. I'm starting to feel sorry for the poor girl. Do we need to kidnap her and take her on a Thelma and Louise road trip? I'm sure she will be fine. Maybe she will take the heat off you and give MIL someone else to focus on. Someone has to be the black sheep in the family. It's a rule. Everyone has one. I'm the one in mine. You get to be the one in yours. We are just now the not messed up drunk or pill eating one but still the one that just doesn't want to follow the herd. Someone has to keep it real. Might as well be us. :)

I'm still stuck on Rabbit pasta DD. Is that pasta shaped like bunnies or did it actually have rabbit in it. Or is it pasta made with vegetables that rabbits eat? I'm so confused.

One job is plenty Budd. Heck even one is one too many for me. You can always supplement your income by painting seashells and selling to the tourists. Or be the joke man. Is that guy still in Key West? I remember a guy who used to just run around the area where the cruise ships came in with a sign that said $1 for a joke. He's probably retired. Probably made a million a year doing that. I know I paid him a buck for a joke. I vote scuba diving too.

Speaking of jobs. It's almost been a year since I've worked not counting the restaurant fiasco. I'm thinking I got a new problem to deal with. I just removed the drinking, replaced it with shopping, hid behind my parents, and now am just as f'd up as I was, just in a different way. I guess I could have been still drinking and done all that along with it so it is better I don't drink but I ain't feeling all that great. My life is a mess really. A sober mess. But still a mess. Ugh.

Anyone ever feel like you know what you need to do but for whatever reason you just can't do it? I know, dumb question. Drinking and pills falls in that category. I'm talking about other stuff. I just can't seem to push past wanting to hide all the time. Double ugh.

Shoes, I just put a new song on my profile page that you might want to give a listen to. Sort of a no nonsense kick in the butt kinda song. What I need. Big hugs to you.

And yes, breeding hips and good teeth. Did you expect anything less? :lmao

Today is okay. I had a hot bath and ate cherry garcia while soaking with the jets on full blast. Talk about ice cream melting fast! I don't even care!

I can't find it. In fact, I almost accidentally hit the unfriend button looking for it. I about had a heart attack.

Just sing it to me.

I think I just noticed something. Friend called and was all worried about her job and I immediately kicked into I will solve this for you. Not that I know what to do but I just felt a big surge to move into action. Why did I feel that for someone else but I can't for myself? I said that to myself. So I'm not really asking anyone I'm just trying to figure it out. More in my head solution thinking but not doing. Great. It never stops.

I feel like CRAP! Is this another grief stage?? I can't keep up with them. Angry, sad, happy, sneezy, dopey...jeez, when does it end???

I ain't drinking. Ain't going to drink. But something's got to give here. I should go to an AA meeting and to the gym but that would require me to get out of my sweats and do something.

Arrrrrgh! Sorry. I'm venting.

That's okay to vent all you want!
The song should start a few seconds after you get onto my page. Scroll down and look on the right near my album.

You know I can't sing.

shoes! You and your ipad. Try this link. Don't let Bono and the edge distract you from the actual song, okay?

U2 - Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of (Lyrics) - YouTube

Um, shoes, which of us is Thelma, and which of us is Louise in your scenario? I'd like to be the one with the gun please?

JG I don't know whether to marry your new SIL or enter her in the derby! Sounds like perfect breeding stock to me, and not a temperamental filly like the one your husband brought home!

Shoes , I really hope it was rabbit meat and not bunny shaped pasta! It is so much easier to see someone else's issues and help them deal, it means you don't have to work on yourself. If I might be a bit personal here, do you think you may be depressed? An awful lot has happened to you over the last few months and you are so focussed on coping and putting up a brave front, I wonder if the inertia is a symptom you oughtn't dismiss. It may be worth a visit to the doctor and an honest chat, ( not a jolly ' oh I'm ok, got to be haven't i?' Let off) I worry if you keep smiling and coping you may go cablooey! I kinda did that once, had a complete meltdown. It was not pretty.

LP d'oh! I did read it wrong, glad you are not a smoker, either.

Marchr, if DD is happy to be seen escorting his mother, he maybe has a thing d'Or the older woman, I might even look him up myself when ( if) we go across. After all, as a cripple, he can't really be too choosy can he!!

Budd, how's the sailing/ diving going? Found any treasure?
My hubby calls me treasure, I have a sunken chest and he'd like to bury me!!

Toots! You are so funny today. Yes, it's like getting a race horse in this family. That was not lost on me. I could so corrupt the little sugar biscuit (seabiscuit), but of course I won't.

Shoes, I agree with Toots. :Val004:

hi guys !!! I'm kinda crabby today. I'm back at work and the computer is slow and I just need to get my butt outside and go for a good walk. Ok--now that I put it down on paper that is what i'm going to do. thanks.
Babs