Did it serene lol

Made to the end of the work week everyone. Like there was every any doubt who would pick me up and carry me through. I actually took today off and had it planned for awhile. Constructive planning that is. I've already re-placed a broken tail light on our second car. That's better - my wife and I always refer to the cars as your car or my car. I told her this morning they are both our cars, equally the same. :c006: Now I'm going to clean the 2nd car - its the one my wife drives and do some house cleaning for her while she's at work. Got the dogs also to do something with. Some Grrrrrreat conversation going on here. For me Melissa in this addiction I believe Fear is the Hopelessness I get prior to drinking and through the hangover cycle. The hangover cycle is exactly what upandup explained goes on after the last drink. For me, then the "AV" and denial wants to pop up after I've once again made it this far. And I'm right where Lisswas, witnessing the drink in the perfect setting or maybe its the time or a song, who knows. Oh...and its not over, then I make it through an event like Mvngon and as Sobriety grows, so does the confidence. My mind was so clear ! I can tell you - we really need to be on guard, don't we? Anyway - today I will stay sober. A huge shout out to wehav2day -yes we do. Fantail, Mel, venuscat, ub3, EasyRider, Pamel, 1stepup, Serene "Blueberry" Edition and team leader Dee. My gosh - where is Precious Kitty? And anyone I missed I'm sorry, just trying to catch up. If I remember right Pamelwould give updates on our team name. Got to get moving, so stay Sober my amigos and amigas. For you "Futbol" fans the Confederations Cup starts this weekend down in Brazil. May Peace be with all of you.

not a happy bunny day 2 i have to keep on keeping on despite receiving a warning for telling my truth wghich sucks so much...I wont be reaching out again like that ill just suffer in silence

Don't worry about it ub3. You only did what you felt was best for you at the time. 'Cause of what you were going through, you sought help. The "Truth" will set you free. Please - just don't use...I really believe your quote; your comfort is coming if you Stay Sober my friend.

Hi guys!

I was thinking that I'd like to share a bit about how I dealt with my experience at the concert on Wednesday. I know that upandup has a concert coming up this weekend, and I hope that you will have as pleasant an experience as I did. Apologies ahead of time if this is long. :)

Self care- At one time I thought that this was simply getting myself up and dressed in the morning. In the beginning of sobriety, addressing this was a huge step for me. Getting showered, putting on cosmetics, dressing in pressed clothing, etc. was a huge accomplishment as I was beginning to practice self-care. As time passed, I learned that self-care also meant nourishing my body and my soul. I kept things very simple in the beginning because that is all I was capable of. Now, I need more.

When I was asked if I would like to attend this concert, my first feeling was sheer panic. Then I considered the question "would I like to go?" Why yes, I would "like" that, and I need to do things that I "like", and do things that nurture my sense of community and well being. So I decided to do something that I'd like...I don't know about you guys, but for most of my life I have not felt clear about what my real interests were versus what I was doing on auto-pilot, so this was a big step for me.

That being said, if I am going to have the freedom to do the things that I like, I need to do them differently than I have in the past. I hope that this becomes a little more natural at some point, but right now it's taking a little thought and planning.

I was very careful to care for myself on the day of the concert. I ate healthy meals, and drank lots water, making sure that my blood sugars were consistent throughout the day. Travel and traffic can create great stress for me, so we left home very early so that it would not be an issue. I also made plans for the next day. Meaningful plans that I felt accountable to.

The concept of "fearing the feeling of fear" weighed heavily on me, and I saw this as a great opportunity to grow. I told myself that no matter how uncomfortable I felt, it would only be temporary. It was just one evening. I also told myself that if I could not live with that feeling for the evening I could not go, and the desire to be there outweighed the feelings of fear. So I knew that at the very worst, I might be anxious for a few hours.

I got there well nourished and early, found my seat, and relished in watching all of the people around me. Much to my surprise, the anxiety was pretty much non-existent. I had taken some steps to make it a relaxed and comfortable experience, and I felt safe.

I now see that with a little bit of care and thought I can have these great experiences in a sober state. Had I only been given that "Raising MV Manual" early on I would have many memories of fabulous performers and shows....but that is the past, and while I may be late, I still have a good deal of life ahead of me, and I am so thankful to care for myself by taking care of myself.

Have a great concert weekend upandup! And thanks to all of you who have made it through my rambling self-exploration!! :)

Much love,
MV

Lovely pics Liss! I felt all centered looking at them! Thx for sharing.

Dashing off to a 300 person anniversary & a hectic weekend - will check in & follow thread - may not have posting energy!

Wishing everyone a Beautiful weekend! May the 'bacon' be with you ;)

(edit - i like the BB edition goose ;)

Totally understand where your coming from Mvngon. Good work ! What you explain is what I didn't do. I quit working... Simple is a good thing. But let's face it as we get more comfortable in Sobriety there are things that we like - where there is going to be booze, in my case. It may even surprise us from time to time. So we have to know ourselves - cause Sobriety is our priority. This reminds me about an acronym in the Corps called the 6 P's. Proper Planning Prevents **** Poor Performance.

Hah!! I LOVE this!! Thanks for sharing this goose.This is a phrase I'll remember! :)

ouch ive been banned from chat s h i t i did only tell my truth is all did not mean to upset anyone ouch!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Thanks for sharing Mvngon! Similar thoughts went through my head too: "i f I am going to have the freedom to do the things that I like, I need to do them differently than I have in the past."

Yes, this.

It was the anxiety surrounding the 10 hours that had me, well, anxious. But, I'm on an anti anxiety rx and am not supposed to drink, so I can tell my friends that. They'll be absolutely supportive when I tell them, but telling them the day of or a day or two before seems...inconsiderate. I wouldn't spring on them Hey, I have cancer, now let's enjoy the show! Poor previous planning on my part, I'll own up to that. But having that piece taken care of has greatly reduced my anxiety for the event overall.

That said, I know from past experiences that not only do I have to remain vigilant at the event, I have to afterwards as well. I'd be celebrating nine months of sobriety this month if I would've reached out for the support I didn't know I needed. But I know to seek it out now.

Thanks again for outlining your practical steps in preparation for the concert, Mvngon! And like Goose said, the six P's - great saying, sir!

you know what if admin /moderators are going to be so harsh theres really no point in me being here?

Loved your post MV. So glad it all went well. I feel like every time I'm nervous for something it's always fine once I'm in the moment. It like our minds create these fake scenarios to stress about which never end up coming true. What a waste of time! Of course I do it too but every time I catch myself I get a little better and pushing through it.

Goose- proud of you. Keep checking in for your first weekend. You said something about hopelessness can you elaborate?

In some small twisted way I miss hangovers, not the hangover exactly but the feeling when it was over. After a binge I would be really really sick. I'd puke for hours and then be laid out on the couch all day watching tv unable to hold down food. (That was best case scenerio, if i had to work a shift it was pure hell) But then that moment would come where I'd start to feel better and I'd gorge on greasy food and soda and I'd feel so happy to be alive, like I made it through a war and had all the permission to treat myself to rest, relaxation and junk food. There was something ritualistic about it for me in the purging, the suffering and the reward.

UB we want you here, I'm sure the moderators are just following the SR rule book. Don't let some little incident stop you from talking to us in here and working on your sobriety.

melissa I have known for a long, long time that I have this addiction. For a long, long time when I knew I was going to drink it would be to get drunk. A very high percentage of those times I would literally dry heave/puke my guts out prior to drinking. And it didn't matter who I was with and where I was at. This was a sign to me that I was going to get drunk. This is where my feeling of Hopelessness would lie. Today, I often think about how dangerous this really Is...I don't want to be a statistic to something I caused. Like a terrible accident. We can wake up every morning, look in the news and see another alcohol related accident.

Now, the opposite of that is "Hope." Hope lies in Sobriety.

ub3 I know how you feel. I mean that. Melissa is right, SR has rules. My feeling is SR's rules are to protect you, me and everyone here. We all have to dig deeper ub3. For me "the issue that bothers me" is always about taking a look in the mirror at myself and asking why do I feel what I'm feeling. I feel everyone here cares about you and wants ub3 to get better. We all have trials that will test us in whether or not we will pick up. In Gods plan for you, your being tested right now. He wants to see if you are going to make the right choice, by not picking up. You have got to stay Sober through this testub3. It's going to be OK - Stay Sober.

ub3 ~ I posted in the other thread..

Just take a deep breath, everyone here is on your side....feelings are so magnified with this disease...

Stay strong. Stay positive. You CAN do this.

Love to everyone else....happy to see how many posts I missed while sleeping....so glad so many of us are coming back!!!

:You_Rock_ Feb Class!

Love Venus xx

I sent you a PM Ub.

D

ub3, Melissa and Goose and the rest of us want you here. SR has rules to keep us as safe as possible, and also because there are limits to what online support can accomplish as opposed to in-person therapy or real-time hotlines. you are in my thoughts for a calm, hopeful night. this can only get better if you can stay sober, friend.

mv,INCREDIBLE job with the concert! I am totally looking up to you right now. Self care. What an important thing, and so often we neglect it.

venuscat,I love the name Suzanne! Two of my best friends over the years have had your name. very cool!

fantail,I've been meaning to say for days that I am SO impressed with your ride! oh.my.gosh! I found that DRIVING the coast from sf to sd to be beautiful yet exhausting, the thought of riding it is, just, wow. and on a lark? you must be in spectacular shape to just go off and do that. amazing. your description of how you felt along the way and on completion was really cool, too. thank you so much for sharing all of that. and nice job on HALT. it sure does help to nip a craving in the bud by just realizing i'm cranky or hungry or sleepy!

serene,LOVED your "PMS" description! that was highlarious!

life is pretty good in wehavland. my partner and I are getting along well, there's of course "stuff" we could/should be addressing, but sometimes it's just nice to enjoy the now of the relationship. just finished crazy workapalooza week 1 of 9: summer edition. it went REALLY well! i have great staff this summer, even my "problem child" is playing well with others. being on a team that actually functions as such is really awesome!

still trying to lose some weight but kind of stalling on the motivational front. exercising, but not going to the gym. eating well, but sometimes too much, etc. guess i just had to get that admission out there. part of me feels like i should be kicking butt and getting in super shape. part of me is somewhat overwhelmed already with trying hard at everything else and just wants some slack. guess I've been going with door number 2.

oh, i did something new this week that drunk wehav would have NEVER done, proud of that! i created an event on FB that will be a weekly hike "group" (so far, only 2 friends going) around the area. "Tuesday night stomp." Drunk wehav would have not wanted to cut down on prime drinking time, or worse yet been worried that i might be drunk already by the time of the hike... sorry i'm rambling again... :-)

You're not rambling wehav ~ awesome post!!!

Kudos on the new hiking event...watch it grow, you are going to start something special here I think ♥

And I kinda like my name too! And my middle name is Claire; my mum was cool :)

V xx