Class of April 2013 Part 3
 

last part here :

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-20.html

D

Day 2! Made it. Little "rougher" than one but I'm still here.

Today I completed my 21 day program.
Five nights inpatient and the rest intensive outpatient program.
I feel better, less cranky, less jittery.

Start back to work tomorrow and I'm a little nervous but I know that
God is with me and I can handle it. Wish me luck!

wishing you luck Ali - best wishes to you too muskrats :)

D

Muskrats and Ali - you're doing great!

Day 18 (take 2) coming to a close here. Chat meeting just started if anyone's interested...

Congrats muskrats, Ali and Paul!

I feel like my sobriety commitment is still continuing to expand. I read the first 5 chapters of the "big book" last night and enhanced my understanding of the concept of a higher power. I feel different. Even my wife said she feels like something is really different now.

As long as I don't get overconfident, I think I am getting closer to the right path.

Way to go!! 3 weeks is HUGE!! :)

Don't worry about work... you'll make it through one day at a time. You can do this! :)

Thanks AnotherPaul... you motivated me to finally go check out the chat function here and join in on the meeting. :)

2 days is great muskrats! :You_Rock_


Hang in there... it gets better, with time.

Nice! They're quite helpful, just like real life meetings.

How Non-Boozers JUST DON'T GET IT PART: A GAZILLION

Paddled this morning. Really went after it. I'm inspired by the jiggles I see when I'm on my board. Yuck.

Least I'm not all boozy bloated.

After paddling the scene went as such:

Buddy: Can we stop quick at the store, I'm gonna pick up some stuff.
Me: Sure.
<Buddy comes out with a case of Coke, and a GIANT BOTTLE of whiskey.>
Buddy: I know you're taking it easy on the drinking...but...I figure a night or two with me won't hurt. <smiles>
Me: Man...I told ya. I'm done. It's over.
Buddy: <laughs> Just while I'm here. You stop again when I leave...no big deal.
<Sigh>

I like my bud a lot. (Trust me. Not just everyone gets to stay at our house). But...man! Like I need that kind of crap.
In a way it's making me tougher. Far as saying no, not being overly bothered by it being around. Fact of the matter is...it smells pretty gross to me.

I realize I should have been more clear about some ground rules, and/or my cessation of drinking...but...
Anyway: I'm pretty proud of my three weeks...and I'm not about to blow it for what I know would just suck anyway. There might be about 3 1/2 seconds of "fun" and that would be the evil little burst of glee I would get from actually drinking again.
The shame, physical pain, and mental anguish is SO not worth even a drink with a pal.

Yuck.

Sorry to be a downer...but that's the story here.

On the uptick, I had a mad hard paddle...and am sore--but feel great! Being sober is a lot nicer than not being be...I can say that with out a shred of doubt.
Best!
SB

Scoutie- Way to go on keeping your three weeks! You won't regret that. :)

And next time, your buddy will know you won't give in so it will get easier.

I found I needed to be absolutely unequivocal in my noes, Scout.
Even then some people didn't get it.

There's a natural process of moving on in those latter cases - it's sad but it is what it is.

D

I'm part of this class. I'm using 4/15 as my sober day since it's easy to remember with it being tax day. Every time I get a craving I think about how sick I was the last time I drank and the withdrawal symptoms from several days of binge drinking. I've already made it through a funeral reception and later on hung out with my brother while he drank a six-pack of my favorite beer and I stayed sober, so that's something. I'm hoping he will learn to curb his drinking as well since he obviously has a problem and has had health issues from it (which he denies).

welcome sokil :)

D

I hear ya Dee.

Fortunately, I decided to get sober sooner--rather than too late.
A lot of plans had been made, tickets bought, blah, blah, blah.

I have some issue with the recovery thought of changing your friends and such. I was a drinker. I made the plans to drink. I was the one that made any innocuous get together a drinking event.

All things considered: I had/have a pretty cool life. It's just getting better sans drinking, so I'm going to take that with me, and keep positive buddies (like this one, who just happens to be unaware/thick/on vacation) around me--and cut out the types of things *I* would do to get drunk.

Sneak. Hide. Drink alone. Feel sorry for myself. Be uninspired.

I can think of only one thing alcohol has ever done for me: Taught me to despise the person I am when drinking.

I'm feelin' good, and I want it to continue. Mood swings be damned...I'm going to see this thing through.
Regards,
S.B. The First.

Struggling some tonight...I've been feeling great during the days at work, but I'm feeling some of the underlying darkness in me rise after being lied to and unappreciated by my brother and my mom tonight. Peeling back some of the proverbial onion layers and realizing it's kinda crunchy and black in the middle. The core of where all of my alcohol abuse is coming from, no doubt. I am starting to dislike coming home. Normally I would have drank after the events tonight, but instead I walked for over 5 miles and now have blisters on my feet. I am appreciating the fact that tomorrow is a new day. Day 12, in fact, and I am proud of that.

Hi All, 08:09 and I'm sat outside the hotel where out Sales Conference is happening, agenda looks free bar opens at 16:30, wish me luck guys - I'm going in...

Stay tough Napster!
Just think of our good ol' Bandicoot fight song!
(I seem to have lost the music).

Nuts anyway. Be strong!
We're here!

Day 10 here in Germany.......feeling Great!!!

Hi Sokil,

Way to go on not drinking! Try not to worry too much about your brother, just focus on you and keep at it one day at a time.

12 days is awesome, you should be proud of it. :)

I know it's scary peeling back those layers so to speak and facing what's there. I've been doing a bit of that myself. Just take it easy, be kind to yourself, remind yourself that now that your sober you can work to make real changes to make these things better.

Napster- Hope your night went well.

Husband home tonight
 

I'm on day 3. Started when my husband left town. He is in denial that I have a problem with alcohol. I'm determined not to drink. He'll no doubt open a bottle of wine this evening when he comes home. I just have to be strong. I stopped once before for about 18 months, but it was with the idea that one day I could drink again. I know now that this is not true. The binge drinking just got worse.

Hang tough.

I quit at home with my drinking bf, but now am on a trip by myself so the last bit has been easier, but I know what it's like.

But you know, I always feel SO PROUD of myself when my bf is drinking and offers me one and I just say, "No, I don't want a beer tonight." He might ask if I'm sure, but I insist.

Just remember that if you don't drink, you'll feel proud of yourself, too. And if you do drink... well, you know how that goes or you wouldn't be here.

Post if you need to.

Day 16 starting here!!

It's nice to wake up without a hangover and actually be able to have positive thoughts about the day.

Today, I am focusing on kind of starting to switch more from 'quit drinking mode' to 'live life sober mode.' I want to be productive again and get all of the over-due stuff I have at work taken care of so that I don't have that to stress (or drink) about.

So, I set my alarm for an hour earlier. Since I'm not hungover and I actually got real sleep, this didn't feel like a cruel form of torture and I only hit the 'snooze' button twice rather than like 20 times.

And I'm checking in on SR for a few with a cup of tea, but I set myself a time limit so I wouldn't spend too long... Speaking of which, time for me to head off.

See y'all tonight when I have day 16 done. :)

Im on day 3. I've had many day 3's, so it is not cause for celebration. I have so many triggers, I don't know where to start. I've been in love with alcohol since I was 15 some 25 years. Not all of that time was spent buzzed or drunk, but the poison remained always close to my heart.

Good morning all,

Day 18 here, so close to 3 weeks. 21 days is the longest I have ever made it (last April), excluding pregnancies. I feel like I may not break that record, though. Husband is going on business trip and will be gone tonight (huge trigger). Fortunately, it is a quick trip and he will be back tomorrow evening, but AV is sitting on my shoulder and WILL NOT budge. Little s***! I can not stop obsessing about how nice it would be to be able to sit in the open and enjoy a glass of wine (not hiding or sneaking around). Trust me, I know it isn't worth it, but, like I said, AV is not budging. Will keep fighting :a043:

You and I are on the same page this morning. As I was driving to work (on time for a change), I was thinking what PURE JOY it is not to be hungover!

muskrats - Congrats on Day 2!

Ali2013 - Way to go on finishing your program! Good luck at work today!

Goat - Glad to hear you're more confident. I need to start reading the Big Book. Today is a 12 step meeting for me. I think we're on 9 or 10. We just circle around weekly in order, but I missed last week and can't remember where we were the week before.

DG0409 - Thank you for your share in the other post. I could really identify with the concept of needing an excuse to self-sabotage. Sometimes I feel like I need my outside world to match my inside world, and that's when I get those feelings. Last night there was nothing wrong in my life really, but I felt so horrible and sad inside. Those are the nights that I would self-sabotage, get really drunk and pick a fight with my poor hubby. I just needed the inside and the outside to match. I talked to him about how I was feeling last night and he really didn't get it. It made me sadder. :(

AnotherPaul - I tried to chat but it started asking me for all kinds of permissions and I got nervous about viruses. Do you know what it's asking me for and if it's ok? What is it trying to do?

ScoutBall - Wow, that's weird, the friend pushing the drink, I've had several instances of that too so far. Good for you for holding to your convictions. I think our friends, for whatever reason, need to test the no. I find that incredibly irritating right now. But I guess it's no different from being at a birthday party and someone asking you again "Are you SURE you don't want a piece of cake?" Maybe we're just oversensitive to the fact that it's booze they're offering? Still, sucks. No means No!

Sokil - Welcome!

NotSoIvory - I had a rough night last night too. Good for you for going for that walk. I hope today is better.

Napster - I hope the conference is going well. Stay strong. :)

HML - Welcome. A lot of us have hubbies here in denial about our drinking. Is your hubby a drinker? I didn't tell my hubby I had quit for over a week and he was afraid to ask.

Tang - Welcome. Be proud of Day 3 anyway. What have you got to lose by celebrating a little accomplishment? That's great that you're aware of so many of your triggers. Now you can learn your choices around them. Easier said than done for sure, but babysteps. :)

Ladybug - Good luck tonight. My hubby and kids leave me home alone on Monday evenings and I was realizing what a huge trigger that "me time" was the other evening. I came on here and read until they got home. Buy yourself some sober time tonight and just breathe. Hang in there!

Day 27 - Do I turn into Sandra Bullock tomorrow? Seriously though, last night was awful. Total crap mindstorm pity part crap. I tried to talk it out with my hubby, that didn't really go so well. He just kept saying "You know, life is pretty good." and I know it is, argh! I wish he wouldn't say that. So what if my problems are all in my head. Telling me that doesn't make them go away!! I seriously don't know why I talk to him sometimes, it just makes me so much angrier. I scheduled an appointment to restart therapy next week, but I already don't know what the focus of that will be. As I've said on here before, both of my kids have special needs, and I struggle between what part of that I should just "accept" and what part of that I should have "courage to change." I guess it's because I lack "wisdom"? Is that what the Serenity Prayer is trying to tell me? Because I swear, I have NO SERENITY when it comes to my son's development, and I don't know how to get there and I feel like I'm making myself and my son miserable in the process. <breathing>

I'm off to work out and then will hit the noon time meeting followed by the grocery store. Hope you all have a great morning!

Every day sober is worth celebrating, Tang!

I think we all have a whole pack of triggers. The AV hangs out in the shadows waiting to catch us with our guard down and pounce!

I have had my share of day 3s as well. It is possible to make this our last day 3. I hope you stay with us in the April class!

I really like that idea, so I'm borrowing it.

Day 19 here. Plenty to keep busy with today, then my dad will be in town for the next few days - he quit drinking a few years ago (was not an alcoholic and enjoyed a scotch or a beer from time to time but said he lost the taste for it as he got older) and he knows my whole story, so he'll definitely keep me out of trouble as we go catch some live bands and eat at some great restaurants around Austin and San Antonio. I love my AA folks, don't get me wrong, but it'll be nice to get out of the house and have some sober activities without actually talking about sobriety the entire time.

I may or may not get any time online while he's here, so if I don't post for a few days, that's why. Y'all take good care either way and stay strong.