Em, ditto for me! I miss having you here with your wonderful posts!

Well, it's day 20 and life has carried on. which is good because the way things were on Monday and Tuesday... well, it wouldn't be day 20. But at the meeting on Tuesday night, my mood really lifted. Yesterday I managed to get some writing done, which was good. All round, my head is in a much better state than it has been for the last three weeks. The AV is lurking in the background, but that's ok today.
Been getting the ground ready to plant potatoes, which was therapeutic. I'm ready to face the world again, get out of the hole that I've slipped into, and maybe start to make plans. Definitely get back into writing...
I was just reading one of the last things I wrote before I started thinking about quitting the drink. And crumbs... hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn't it?

Thanks for all your kind words. I've been finding it a little difficult to find the right words for a while, but I knew it would pass. I know I've been isolating, and not just here. I've not wanted to talk to anyone very much. But I've tried to listen, and I think, well hope, that something got through to me.
I'm glad I found this place, I'm glad I found AA, and I'm glad to be sober.

Good night everyone. Sleep well. And remember, tomorrow life starts again, and today will slip into the past.

Love and Hugs to you all. And may your higher power go with you. x x

Em, I am happy to hear that the cloud seems to be lifting. Perhaps this time of year affects you, too! Whatever the reason, I'm very glad you are back. Writing seems so good for you and I think you are very good at it. I know I enjoy your writing in your posts. Even when the going is tough, you express things so well. I understand about isolating. I do that now and then; for me it's like I'm a turtle, pulling back into my shell. Sometimes I need that to recover from something and I don't always know what it is.

Good night to you, Em, love and hugs and may your higher power be with you!

Happy Thursday, my beloved boaters! Looking forward to the weekend to rest up.

(((Emily))). So happy to see your post, my friend. Congrats on your 20 days! Glad you're back on track with us in the sober train. Nice to hear that you're starting up your writing again, too. Hugs to you!

Finally staving off this killer migraine that had been brewing for the last two days. It begins with feeling very tired, losing focus on what's going on right in front of me, a dull, light headache, odd sparks of peripheral light, and then a throbbing bomb of a helmet. Ugh. Anyone else get those? Chomped on some chocolate for the caffeine (a migraine fighter) and swallowed aspirin to take off the edge. And through it all, I managed to have a very productive work day... away from my cell mate distractions.

I decided to confide in my boss about my office dilemma, making sure to accept half of the blame for the problem. I don't want to complain about that nice woman, since it takes the two of us to continue our conversations, but I do need a quiet place of my own at least once a week. My boss was understanding and said she'd try to find a solution for me. Maybe I'll park an RV in the office lot and work there. :)

WeHav, good buddy! Caught you lurking earlier tonight. How are you, girlfriend? Please send us a post when you can.

Have a wonderful evening/morning, everybody. Love and hugs to all. :)

FP, sorry to hear about your migraine. I can attest to the misery caused by them. Fortunately I no longer get them but had horrendous ones in my teens. In spite of the number of years I have been free of them, the memories of the pain are still very strong. I still remember one migraine that lasted a month and I would sit on my bed banging my head against the wall for relief.

I hope yours get better very soon!

FP, sorry to hear about the migraine. I have never had one but I know they can bring you to your knees. You have some serious strength to get through the work day with it. Big hug to you and I hope you wake up with a clear pain free head.

Em, Its nice to have you back on board and good to hear you are feeling better. Gardening always helps me too. Do you grow herbs too? Maybe some chives and parsley would go great with those taters.

I spent the afternoon on the bay in my kayak. Caught a sea trout which made a tasty dinner when I got home. Feeling good today.

Tanja, OLL, Kitty, Saskia, Jeni, Dee, Lee wishing you all a good night.

Wehav, I miss you! Give us a shout if you pass through.

Aahh it's Friday at last....

FP-sorry to hear you're struggling with a migraine, lots of love to you, last day now then you can relax a bit. Well done for speaking to your boss, I do hope it can be resolved soon xxx

Em-great to hear you can start posting again, don't forget the first 30 days are the hardest. Keep going my friend, we're right behind you xxx

HRB-loads of love to you, your words are such a comfort to us all.

Well, it's the end of the week. I'm feeling really quite wobbly today but am putting one foot in front of the other. After counselling in the morning, H and I are off for a trip to the coast. Lots of walking along the beach no matter what the weather is like, cosy meals in a pub sitting by an open fire, hours browsing through old bookshops..... Just what I need right now.
I will not stray too far from you all. SR is always with me.

Loads of love to you all xxx

Sounds like a beautiful weekend. Have fun Jeni. And I hope your session goes well this morning.

Tomorrow morning...I've got to get through another work day yet!

Thanks my lovely friend, I hope so too xxx

I hope work goes well today Jeni. You deserve a fun break.

Good morning, Mayans!

Rock, your kayak trip sounds like it was both relaxing and productive :-). Glad you are feeling better.

Jeni, happy to hear you will be having some relaxing away time with H. You deserve a break.

FP, hope your migraine is gone today.

WeHav, hope you drop in some time.

To all, have a great day :-)

have a good day everyone :)

D

Hi everyone, just home from work and exhausted.

I had a fleeting thought of alcohol on the way home. Think it's that completely false romantic notion of sitting in an old pub next to a blazing fire over the weekend and wouldn't it be lovely to have a drink or 2..... Yeah right! Since when did I ever have a drink or 2?! Funny how it creeps up on us isn't it?xx

Day 21. I went to meet my sponsor this morning. Had a really good talk about a wholebuncha things. I feel that I can tell her stuff about the past as it comes back, which is good, because it means that I don't need to carry it round any more. Not that I was aware of a lot of it.
I've had a quiet day, otherwise. Which is good. Going to start some writing in a bit, but there's no pressure.
I've learnt a few things about myself over the last three weeks. More memories have come back and I'm starting to accept that that's going to continue. But that's ok. I don't do those things anymore.

fp - sorry to hear about your migraine. Hope it gets better soon.

saskia - glad to hear from you. For me, when I get low, it can be as if someone's flipped an 'off' switch somewhere, or maybe locked a door, and I just seem to shut down.

hitrockbottom - we've got some basil, dill, and parsley in a box on the window, and they started sprouting about a week ago. That sea trout sounds great.

jeni - sounds like a fun trip. And yes, it does creep up on us. While I was in the meeting on Monday, the AV thought it would be a good idea to bring up all the good times. Don't get me wrong, there were good times. And some that started out good but turned bad. And some that were just plain bad. But it's been a while since the good times... Well, in that sense.

Life's good today. I may not be who I thought I was once. But that's good, because I didn't like her much anyway.
Have a good day folks. Be gentle with yourselves. And... well... just this

Love and Hugs to you all. And may your higher power go with you. x x

Happy Friday and happy March Mayans!! I was so excited to turn the calendar this morning, but the picture for March is snow!! Don't they know we need all the wishful thinking we can muster?? Sheesh :) Tomorrow is back on track exercise and healthy eating extravaganza. The scale has taken a turn in the wrong direction. Not drastically but enough to put on the brakes.
FP, I'm sorry you had a migraine! They are debilitating. My senior year of high school only was riddled with them. And then I never had anymore. Strange stuff. But I hope you're feeling better and/or can rest up soon.
HRB, glad you got out in the kayak. I didn't know you cooked your catches! What a survivalist!
Emily great to hear from you! That's nice you're getting ready to plant. Another sign of spring and it'll be good to look forward to the "fruits of your labor."
Jeni you are going to have us all right in your pocket with you. Be sure to come here or PM any one of us if you leave there upset, ok?
Hope everyone is having a good day.

So glad you're feeling better Em.

OLL-a snowy picture for March?! Ridiculous! We need something to cling on to.

If I don't get a chance to post this weekend, I will be thinking of you all. I still can't believe I'm actually going to do this whole therapy thing. But I'm looking forward to getting away afterwards. A walk along the coast might be just what I need.

Love you all lots. Have a safe sober weekend xxx

Brave heart Jeni :)
Hope you all have a good weekend :)

D

You, too, Dee!

FP, Rock, Sassy, Thanks for the shout outs! Guess i'll stop lurking now. ;-)

It probably comes as no surprise to any of you that going off SR also meant a relapse. Not at first, but eventually. I wasn't ready to leave this group, don't know if i ever will be completely. i'm back on track. for some reason, it was really important for me to come back here feeling decent, not raw. Finally, after 2 months or so of drinking, i'm a week sober and feel a lot better. still have a healthy dose of fear, so of course i don't think i'm "cured" - but feeling better.

Interestingly, the first evening i came back on here was the day of what i'll affectionately refer to as "the flap" a few days ago. Guess i have a couple of things to say about that then i'll let it go like the rest of you did.

First, i'm very impressed with how people who needed to speak their minds did, then everyone moved the heck on.

Second, i feel like confiding that this room is the first one i wanted to come back to. Should i spend some time in a "30 days or less" forum? No argument there. But you guys and gals are the ones i sobered up with and bonded with and want to talk with the most. am i set back? yes. am i starting over? in some ways, yes. on the calendar, for sure. but thanks in no small part to you all, i don't feel at as though i'm starting over like before - without coping skills, tools, or most importantly FRIENDS.

That said, i'd like to stick around if that's cool.

Take care Mayans, wehav

Welcome back wehav

Like I've said to others - you'd get a lot out of posting in a new thread - and they;d get a lot out of you too.

Noone's gonna force you, but do think about it some more.
Noone's saying you can't post here as well :)

D