I just read about it on wiki to get the idea. I also got the idea that there was a some controversy about it all. *blush* I must admit that I didn't pursue more of the story. I do still know that I can't moderate - sounds like she must have found that out as well.

Thanks for more info. It is a tragic story.

Thanks, Dee- I don't think it's about groups at all. My take on the story is that if someone is so committed to moderating (As opposed to abstinence) that they actually launch a movement, with all that must entail in terms of work and effort and yet that person subsequently finds that even they can't moderate - then the point for me is that, once you reach a certain level of drinking, moderation is virtually impossible.

The story, sad as it is, really made me understand I was fooling myself if I thought I could moderate.

Personal view - giving up drinking was the hardest thing I have ever done voluntarily, but, it was easier than moderating. The former I did (So far, so good) the latter I could not do.

Great weekend! Got lots of work and fun accomplished. Feels wonderful to be looking forward to a good week!!!!

Another great day - what a blessing!

This time around is so different - it was definitely time and I was ready. Life is so busy and normal: work, stuff with the kids, summer activities.... I'm on the lookout for cravings etc. though - I know that they can sneak up like a cobra.

I'm establishing routines - reading on SR, noting gratitude (on SR as much as possible but mentally, too), playing the tape forward (good and bad versions), eating healthy etc.... I'm stretching myself and making 'sober' plans ahead of time. Putting myself out there is very positive for me.

Already my mood has lifted, my anxiety is gone and my outlook on life is sunnier.

My downfall last time was not doing the maintenance I needed. When I quit this time I was able to make it through the early days because I knew in my head that 'this too will pass' and I knew how great I would feel in a matter of a few days. Now I'm establishing positive routines that will carry me through.

Enough rambling for now - life awaits :)

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Day 9 - Feeling good. I'll take it! :)

Sad,

It is so wonderful to have you back:) I know that you helped me in so many ways in my quest for sobriety. I have every faith and confidence that you will succeed!

Tanja - Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate the support! You are doing amazing! You're inspiring to me :)

I'm doing well - cruising through the week so far so good. I'm making fun, relaxing sober plans for the weekend so I should be prepared for any whispers from my AV.

Hope everyone has a peaceful Thursday!

Headed for the weekend - I'm crabby but ok. Feelings are to be expected and I'm ready :) Hope everyone has a great weekend!

We're having a highly unusual and very welcome heatwave here in UK. Nice to be sitting in the garden in the sun, black coffee in the morning, Earl Grey in the afternoon, and Pellagrano in the evening.

General - Sounds so peaceful and relaxing! Enjoy the warm sun! and - send some our way :)

Good Morning! It is a rainy Monday here. I actually like going to work on rainy Mondays :)

Had a good weekend. Planned ahead to keep the AV at bay. Only got a little crabby here and there - was prepared and banished the AV as quick as it came. I'm trying to stay ahead of the game this time around.

The weekend actually seemed long for once - in a good way. I didn't spend every evening 'out of it'. Instead I had time to watch movies, do things around the house and just plain relax :).

Husband still drinking but I'm using that as a way to build 'my sober muscle'. It is working well!

Hope everyone has a happy week!

Sad, Great to hear that you had a good week-end! My husband is still drinking as well. I think that is a great idea about building your sober muscle:)

Sad and Tanja,

My wife still drinking, too. So perhaps we are 'The Three Sober Spouses'!

I *like* that! Strength in numbers :) Makes being the sober ones sound exciting LOL

Day 15 today! Wow - time flies. Most nights aren't too bad - I'm trying to focus on my hobbies and just fill my mind with things/activities not related to drinking.

I did finally have a 'drinking dream' for the first time. I dreamt that I agreed to drink with my husband one night (just one night of course - ha). Even in my dream I was having second thoughts all afternoon. I woke up before the evening of drinking but when I woke I felt that I had actually agreed and felt horrible.

Thank goodness it was a dream - so vivid though....

Oh well - in real life - so far so good. I'll take it :) !!!!

Ended up feeling really crabby and b****y last night. No real craving to drink but felt irritated about it.

Managed to keep my mood to myself for the most part and just cruised SR for a while. I really hate to be in a bad mood - that is not my nature at all (I'm usually an annoying optimist; glass is more than half-full type person :)).

Feeling good today! :) Hopefully that feeling will last.

All part of the process.....

Good Morning!

Last night was just so-so. I don't think my husband wants me to quit drinking - he is losing his drinking buddy... And it is drawing attention to his drinking habits. I'm not saying anything to him about how much he drinks but I think he notices it more himself.

I'm having a hard time getting motivated to cook creative, interesting dinners etc.; cooking time has become a big trigger for me. We're eating healthy but simple, boring meals right now - just trying to get through a couple of weeks. Especially because work is very, very busy right now - 60+ hrs per week. I'm trying not to get over tired - we all know where that can lead.

But, he is being a pain about it - sulks like a small child and makes snide comments. This sets off a tense evening. I get sad thinking about how our relationship may suffer from this. I try not to borrow trouble but some nights are harder than others.

I've also thought that his reaction may not have much to do with dinner and more to do with losing his drinking buddy etc.. - as much as it is a huge change for me - it is also a huge change for him.

I'm going to make an effort this weekend to do a little better on meals because I can vary my schedule more and I don't have to work. We'll see what happens.

Thankfully I had a good night's sleep and I'm ready and optimistic to face another day. :)

Hope everyone enjoys a great, sober, summer day!

Good Morning! Nothing much new here. Everything is calm and normal right now. I absolutely *love* the lack of drama!! :)

Today: busy, busy at work. A nice weekend planned: a few activities with kids, a bit of cooking (planned some meals), yard work, church, a good book to read, .... I'm feel so blessed!

Of course, always prepared to battle my AV if needed but at this point I'm happy to be looking at my 3rd sober weekend! Time flies .....

I wish all a peaceful weekend!

Sad,

So glad to hear that there is lack of drama. I've never been one to thrive on drama:) It sounds like you have a wonderful week-end planned. It is simply great to be able to get more things done and enjoy life in sobriety.

Hi Soberspouses,

Trust all's well? How was the weekend Sad and Tanja?

My wife was drinking but she seems now pretty controlled to Friday/Saturday/Sunday (Plus holidays) and she gets tipsy and not drunk so I suppose I can't really complain. It would be nice not to have to have it in the house, but she's keeping to her side of the deal and so I must respect that.

Weather still good - highly unusual for UK summer. Just been for a 2.7 mile run in 25:30 - slow, I know, but haven't done much running recently so hopefully improving rapidly.

Anyway, I have to tell you that, incredibly, since stopping drinking a bottle and a half of red wine almost every night - that's about 900 calories a day - I have actually PUT ON weight - can you believe it?

Anyone else heard of anything like this?