Class Of October 2011 pt 7
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Class Of October 2011 pt 7
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Join Date: Oct 2011
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Ah, the start of October. A year has flew by it seems and we all struggled through it and stayed together. We might of lost a few members, but they're here in spirit with us I'm sure. The leaves have been changing on the trees and the mountains are starting to shine, the tourists will soon be here. My brother told me one thing that I'll always remember. People come to vacation where we live, how awesome is that? People spend a lot of money just to come here and relax on vacation - and we, my brother and I, get to live here. I never thought about it that way till he mentioned it. You really do not know what you have till you hear it from someone else. Bad days will happen, but to be in an area where other people WANT to be is just special.
This is the same as not drinking anymore. Lots of people WANT to be sober, but cannot always afford to make the move. Like moving, they need to "sell" a lot of things if they want to move forward and be true with sobriety. We, the Octobers, have sold what we had to in order to get where we are today. Some things are hard to leave behind, but we did it. Other people want to be like us, we have a special gift and we have to learn to love it. I had to leave behind friends, bars, and other various things to get where I am today. We wake up clear headed while there are people waking up with a mind-splitting head-ache and dry heaving over the toilet because they decided to abuse their body... "I quit drinking!" they say, but those words only last as long as that person lets them and they're back to drinking again.. We have said those words, meant them, and moved forward with our lives and became who we are today.
Stay strong Octobers - It's a year later.. WOW.
This is the same as not drinking anymore. Lots of people WANT to be sober, but cannot always afford to make the move. Like moving, they need to "sell" a lot of things if they want to move forward and be true with sobriety. We, the Octobers, have sold what we had to in order to get where we are today. Some things are hard to leave behind, but we did it. Other people want to be like us, we have a special gift and we have to learn to love it. I had to leave behind friends, bars, and other various things to get where I am today. We wake up clear headed while there are people waking up with a mind-splitting head-ache and dry heaving over the toilet because they decided to abuse their body... "I quit drinking!" they say, but those words only last as long as that person lets them and they're back to drinking again.. We have said those words, meant them, and moved forward with our lives and became who we are today.
Stay strong Octobers - It's a year later.. WOW.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Gebosko - Congratulations on one year
7 That is simply wonderful. What a huge accomplishment. You are absolutely right about sobriety - what an amazing gift.
I am on day 72 of sobriety and I can see that 90 day right in front of me. It really has special significance because 3 months is the longest I have ever been sober in over 30 years. In my case, I simply cannot do it on my own. Using AA and SR as my support networks is just such a blessing.
Another blessing is that my husband came home on sunday and told me he was done with drinking. I noticed his nose was all red and asked him about it. Apparently, he had fallen face down in a gravel driveway - not once, but twice. He had to be carried to his car. He woke up at 4:30 a.m. outside of his car and freezing. I gave him a hug when I heard that story. God knows, I've had my share of humilation and degradation due to alcoholism. It really is a horrible way to live.
So glad to see that General, Phil and Geralt also have one year
7 That is simply wonderful. What a huge accomplishment. You are absolutely right about sobriety - what an amazing gift.I am on day 72 of sobriety and I can see that 90 day right in front of me. It really has special significance because 3 months is the longest I have ever been sober in over 30 years. In my case, I simply cannot do it on my own. Using AA and SR as my support networks is just such a blessing.
Another blessing is that my husband came home on sunday and told me he was done with drinking. I noticed his nose was all red and asked him about it. Apparently, he had fallen face down in a gravel driveway - not once, but twice. He had to be carried to his car. He woke up at 4:30 a.m. outside of his car and freezing. I gave him a hug when I heard that story. God knows, I've had my share of humilation and degradation due to alcoholism. It really is a horrible way to live.
So glad to see that General, Phil and Geralt also have one year
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Hello to all the Sobertobers! General, Gerbosko, Philb, Geralt - congrats on a year!!! WOW - You've all done so well!!!! And Tanja - you're doing awesome! So glad to hear that your husband is coming along with you - how wonderful!
Well....this has been an interesting year for me..... I had about 6 months sober and since then I've been up and down. Nothing interesting or terrible to report - just drinking and not drinking. I'm still not very happy with myself - I really wish I was coming up on a year sober right along with all of you guys. I continue to read SR on a regular basis and am inspired by all that I read. I don't know....it is so hard having a spouse that continues to drink (a lot). That isn't an excuse; just an observation. I have learned something things about myself this year..... intimacy issues - ugh!
It is hard for me to sign on and admit that I'm not doing as well as all of you guys but I really wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you all. I've wanted to post about my issues for a while but haven't had the guts. I have thought of joining the new October group but it just doesn't seem the same. (Obviously, it isn't :/) Sorry I'm melancholy....
I do appreciate all of you - you guys continue to inspire me - I always come by to see if anyone has posted! If you guys can do it - so can I!!!!!
I'm going to hit reply quick - before I change my mind - sorry for any bad grammar or spelling LOL.
Well....this has been an interesting year for me..... I had about 6 months sober and since then I've been up and down. Nothing interesting or terrible to report - just drinking and not drinking. I'm still not very happy with myself - I really wish I was coming up on a year sober right along with all of you guys. I continue to read SR on a regular basis and am inspired by all that I read. I don't know....it is so hard having a spouse that continues to drink (a lot). That isn't an excuse; just an observation. I have learned something things about myself this year..... intimacy issues - ugh!
It is hard for me to sign on and admit that I'm not doing as well as all of you guys but I really wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you all. I've wanted to post about my issues for a while but haven't had the guts. I have thought of joining the new October group but it just doesn't seem the same. (Obviously, it isn't :/) Sorry I'm melancholy....
I do appreciate all of you - you guys continue to inspire me - I always come by to see if anyone has posted! If you guys can do it - so can I!!!!!
I'm going to hit reply quick - before I change my mind - sorry for any bad grammar or spelling LOL.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Sad - Thank you so much for posting. I have thought of you often and wondered how you were. I have missed you!
Don't be so hard on yourself. The fact is that you accomplished six months of sobriety and that is HUGE, particulary with a spouse that is drinking. I know firsthand how difficult that can be. I have every confidence that you will have continued sobriety. You are one strong and determined lady
Don't be so hard on yourself. The fact is that you accomplished six months of sobriety and that is HUGE, particulary with a spouse that is drinking. I know firsthand how difficult that can be. I have every confidence that you will have continued sobriety. You are one strong and determined lady
Bound and Determined
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 203
Gerbosko, that was an inspiring post. Tanja!!! you have jumped the hurdle. I can really practically feel your success from here. I know that feeling when its been decades and you hit a milestone....I've been there! I almost clapped my hands when I read your husband was going to stop drinking too. I'm so happy for you...both of you really. And Sadsoul! Wow how great to see you and please do keep posting if you like. You feel like such an important member of this October group I hope you'll stay around...all of your posts were and are always so poignant, I really got alot out of what you shared. It helped me honestly. Trust me I know what its like to face issues and go through ups and downs...as a matter of fact I have my regular appointment with my therapist at 9am today oh joy and my issues are in my face for 45 minutes. Actually, I've learned to like therapy once we got past three months of just staring at each other :-). Have a great day all and again Sadsoul so great to "see" you and also so glad you did hit the reply button! I always felt you were so insightful in all that you wrote I hope you will continue.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Thanks so much for the warm welcome!!! Feels great to be back!! 
I should have posted a long time ago..... it feels so much better to be able to 'talk' to people who understand (good therapy session for me). That is why it is hard to think about posting in the new October thread. I really don't feel like a newbee - though I don't know exactly what I am LOL. I'm not drinking now and it feels great. Thankfully, I haven't been drinking so much that I feel bad physically. No physical withdrawal to deal with. I've just been so dissappointed in myself.
Still trying to figure out how I got sucked back in. Started with me trying to recapture the fun times my husband and I had years ago (when the drinking/partying lifestyle was a 'fun', occassional indulgence). Sigh! Just can't make that happen. A fun night of a couple of drinks ends in the same boring, crappy place - drinking for any and every reason and enduring the guilt. Bad way to move through life isn't it?
Well ... gotta run - work is getting hectic - it is taking me forever to type this message with all the interruptions. I'll be back and will be staying close to SR.
Hugs to all today! Thanks again!
I should have posted a long time ago..... it feels so much better to be able to 'talk' to people who understand (good therapy session for me). That is why it is hard to think about posting in the new October thread. I really don't feel like a newbee - though I don't know exactly what I am LOL. I'm not drinking now and it feels great. Thankfully, I haven't been drinking so much that I feel bad physically. No physical withdrawal to deal with. I've just been so dissappointed in myself.
Still trying to figure out how I got sucked back in. Started with me trying to recapture the fun times my husband and I had years ago (when the drinking/partying lifestyle was a 'fun', occassional indulgence). Sigh! Just can't make that happen. A fun night of a couple of drinks ends in the same boring, crappy place - drinking for any and every reason and enduring the guilt. Bad way to move through life isn't it?
Well ... gotta run - work is getting hectic - it is taking me forever to type this message with all the interruptions. I'll be back and will be staying close to SR.
Hugs to all today! Thanks again!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Phil - My sober buddy! We share a lot in common. We are about the same age, same drinking histories and issues with anxiety. You have always been so hugely supportive of me and for that I am eternally grateful. Bound and Determined - that you are! I really cherish our friendship
Sad - So glad to hear from you! It is good to know that you have not been drinking so much to feel bad physically. That would be an impossibility for me because I am alcoholic! I am sorry to hear that you are disappointed in yourself. You are only human and you had some lapses. You've joined us again and that is what really matters
Sad - So glad to hear from you! It is good to know that you have not been drinking so much to feel bad physically. That would be an impossibility for me because I am alcoholic! I am sorry to hear that you are disappointed in yourself. You are only human and you had some lapses. You've joined us again and that is what really matters
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Dee - Thanks! Great to be back!
Tanja - Thanks for all your well-wishes. I'm just lucky that I don't have physical symptoms right now - my drinking amount has gone up and down over the last 6 months. I'm just fortunate that I've been "low" lately.....
I haven't been happy with my "state" for quite a while so I've been able to keep my usage lower than when I don't care. Still - not happy with where I am -I need to be completely sober! Drunk like me is drunk and unhappy
.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful evening! I'm going to read on the newcomer's site and hopefully be able to provide a word of encouragement to someone.
Thanks for listening!
Tanja - Thanks for all your well-wishes. I'm just lucky that I don't have physical symptoms right now - my drinking amount has gone up and down over the last 6 months. I'm just fortunate that I've been "low" lately.....
I haven't been happy with my "state" for quite a while so I've been able to keep my usage lower than when I don't care. Still - not happy with where I am -I need to be completely sober! Drunk like me is drunk and unhappy
.Hope everyone is having a wonderful evening! I'm going to read on the newcomer's site and hopefully be able to provide a word of encouragement to someone.
Thanks for listening!
Bound and Determined
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 203
Dee! That movie freaked me out....I'm having one of my anxiety attacks Tanja alluded to ha, I'm kidding....well it did sort of freak me out :-) I think it was the multiple pages of "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" that sent me over the edge when his wife discovered it all by the typewriter....we do share similar histories Tanja yet praise be its h-i-s-t-o-r-y. I'm with Tanja Sadsoul...the important thing is you are here today and this moment because thats all we're promised and the past is the past. Its a good thing when the present is good....wishing you great present moments Sad, better future ones and give the past ones a good kick in the behind....they are gone. Have a good week everyone.
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 601
Hi Sobertobers,
Well, this thread has certainly livened up - just like the old days. That's the first time I've ever used the phrase 'Old days' in reference to a time when I wasn't drinking. Good sign. Good form.
Good stuff, Tanja - remember that 90 days is the inflection point for breaking the addiction. It's not a guarantee but it's a very healthy sign. Once you get past 90, you're in uncharted territory and how exciting is that! You have to get past just so we can see! The suspense is killing me. Don't you dare have a drink and be sure to give us detailed accounts of days 91,92,93.. etc. We want to know who you really are!
Good to see you back Sad - just like Gandalf in LOTR, or Rocky in 'Chicken run' or Han Solo in 'Star wars' - we knew you'd come back. BTW, Sadsoul my friend, whether you know it or not, you are on the very verge of giving up forever. Promise. I know the signs. You're sick n' tired of being sick n' tired and, crucially, even the drink isn't taking that away. You might even consider savouring these unpleasant moments, because you're never going to have them again. Soon it'll be harder to drink than it'll be not to. If it's not already upon you. You know it and you know that you know. It's just a bit scary. OK, a lot scary.
Well guys, it's been a hell of a year. Bloody awful, desperate, hateful, aching from the heart, the soul and the mind. It's been a long, cold, dark night of oppression. But. But there's a swatch of pink rising in the dawn sky. Only a thin sliver but it's growing all the time. And we're still standing.
Well, this thread has certainly livened up - just like the old days. That's the first time I've ever used the phrase 'Old days' in reference to a time when I wasn't drinking. Good sign. Good form.
Good stuff, Tanja - remember that 90 days is the inflection point for breaking the addiction. It's not a guarantee but it's a very healthy sign. Once you get past 90, you're in uncharted territory and how exciting is that! You have to get past just so we can see! The suspense is killing me. Don't you dare have a drink and be sure to give us detailed accounts of days 91,92,93.. etc. We want to know who you really are!
Good to see you back Sad - just like Gandalf in LOTR, or Rocky in 'Chicken run' or Han Solo in 'Star wars' - we knew you'd come back. BTW, Sadsoul my friend, whether you know it or not, you are on the very verge of giving up forever. Promise. I know the signs. You're sick n' tired of being sick n' tired and, crucially, even the drink isn't taking that away. You might even consider savouring these unpleasant moments, because you're never going to have them again. Soon it'll be harder to drink than it'll be not to. If it's not already upon you. You know it and you know that you know. It's just a bit scary. OK, a lot scary.
Well guys, it's been a hell of a year. Bloody awful, desperate, hateful, aching from the heart, the soul and the mind. It's been a long, cold, dark night of oppression. But. But there's a swatch of pink rising in the dawn sky. Only a thin sliver but it's growing all the time. And we're still standing.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
General,
What a beautiful post! I am so glad you checked in. Your kindness and support has been invaluable to me.
I haven't done the 90 AA meetings in 90 days due to illness and lack of driving. But, I am hoping to ramp up my meetings and involvement in AA. In just 74 days, the insomnia has gotten better and my heart palpitations have pretty much gone away. So, things slowly do get better! It is very exciting to be on a journey of self-discovery. I feel very blessed at this moment.
I am so very happy that the Sobertobers are together again
What a beautiful post! I am so glad you checked in. Your kindness and support has been invaluable to me.
I haven't done the 90 AA meetings in 90 days due to illness and lack of driving. But, I am hoping to ramp up my meetings and involvement in AA. In just 74 days, the insomnia has gotten better and my heart palpitations have pretty much gone away. So, things slowly do get better! It is very exciting to be on a journey of self-discovery. I feel very blessed at this moment.
I am so very happy that the Sobertobers are together again
Argonaut
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 479
Congrats General on your 1 year!
Welcome back sadsoul!
I know you can make it to 90 days and way past beyond Tanja.
Good to see you are doing good phil.
Here everything is going fine, it will be one year alcohol free for me in a couple of days to and over a half year without tobacco. I still take the anti-anxiety meds, so it hasn't been a total success, but at least I finally feel that I have turned my life away and are heading, step by step, in the right direction.
Last October everything was new about being sober
, now I am looking forward to experience autumn and winter as a more balanced person.
Good luck everyone!
Welcome back sadsoul!
I know you can make it to 90 days and way past beyond Tanja.
Good to see you are doing good phil.
Here everything is going fine, it will be one year alcohol free for me in a couple of days to and over a half year without tobacco. I still take the anti-anxiety meds, so it hasn't been a total success, but at least I finally feel that I have turned my life away and are heading, step by step, in the right direction.
Last October everything was new about being sober
, now I am looking forward to experience autumn and winter as a more balanced person.Good luck everyone!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Geralt,
I have often thought of you. I am thrilled that you are about to celebrate one year of sobriety7 It is amazing how much you have tackled in the past year! Giving up drinking and smoking. For now, I wouldn't worry about the anti-anxiety meds. You have tapered way off and that is three things you have tackled. That is just so amazing!
I don't think anyone wants to take anti-anxiety meds. I know for me the main focus has to be alcohol at this time. I hate the fact that I smoke, but I have to wait before I tackle it. As a matter of fact it has probably increased as a result of quitting drinking which doesn't thrill me.
I am so happy for your successes
I have often thought of you. I am thrilled that you are about to celebrate one year of sobriety
7 It is amazing how much you have tackled in the past year! Giving up drinking and smoking. For now, I wouldn't worry about the anti-anxiety meds. You have tapered way off and that is three things you have tackled. That is just so amazing!I don't think anyone wants to take anti-anxiety meds. I know for me the main focus has to be alcohol at this time. I hate the fact that I smoke, but I have to wait before I tackle it. As a matter of fact it has probably increased as a result of quitting drinking which doesn't thrill me.
I am so happy for your successes
Bound and Determined
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 203
Way to go Geralt! I'm glad to hear that things are going well. I'm with Tanja about the anti-anxiety medication. Some people in AA are very hardcore and hard on people that take any form of benzodiazapine at all and can really shame them in meetings, but they are not really familiar with a dual diagnosis of alcoholism and anxiety disorder or panic attacks. It takes a Dr. to weigh and measure that. I will say my own Dr. (not general practioner but psychiatric Dr) has put me on a low doseage of anti anxiety medication as needed even in her fully knowing and my disclosing everything about my history. She just makes damn sure they don't run out prior to the proper date in knowing I dont in any way abuse them and I see her every week. She wouldn't refill them if I took more. She spoke to me about the trade off between the toll the anxiety takes verses any adverse effects of the medication. Its brought me relief, under a Drs. watch and I definitely don't swallow five with two bottles of wine. I take them strictly to avoid situations I otherwise couldn't enter into but I have to nonetheless. I don't remotely take them to get high, its a medication now for me not a tool to get loaded. Fortunately in a big city like L.A. there are actually dual diagnosis AA meetings with people who also suffer from anxiety or other issues aside from their alcoholism and I've found dual diagnosis meetings very helpful with people who understand issues like anxiety as being at the core at what might have spurred our alcoholism and who also understand needing a medication as needed. If I have to take one as prescribed I write down the reasoning why and talk the situation out with my Dr.
Bound and Determined
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 203
I'm going senile...I just realized....either that or when I hit reply it didn't post. General, I wanted to congratulate you on one year! I could have sworn I wrote that I must have killed more brain cells than I thought. I can sure relate to your last paragraph about getting through the year. Sober recovery and yours and everyone's contributions have been a huge help to me. Congratulations again, General.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Originally Posted by General 
Hi Sobertobers,
Good to see you back Sad - just like Gandalf in LOTR, or Rocky in 'Chicken run' or Han Solo in 'Star wars' - we knew you'd come back. BTW, Sadsoul my friend, whether you know it or not, you are on the very verge of giving up forever. Promise. I know the signs. You're sick n' tired of being sick n' tired and, crucially, even the drink isn't taking that away. You might even consider savouring these unpleasant moments, because you're never going to have them again. Soon it'll be harder to drink than it'll be not to. If it's not already upon you. You know it and you know that you know. It's just a bit scary. OK, a lot scary.
Good to see you back Sad - just like Gandalf in LOTR, or Rocky in 'Chicken run' or Han Solo in 'Star wars' - we knew you'd come back. BTW, Sadsoul my friend, whether you know it or not, you are on the very verge of giving up forever. Promise. I know the signs. You're sick n' tired of being sick n' tired and, crucially, even the drink isn't taking that away. You might even consider savouring these unpleasant moments, because you're never going to have them again. Soon it'll be harder to drink than it'll be not to. If it's not already upon you. You know it and you know that you know. It's just a bit scary. OK, a lot scary.
How can you know what I've been thinking/feeling? And - you put it all into words so perfectly. I'm am at the stage where it is harder to drink than not... and it is a lot scary! I'm so glad that you're progressing and seeing the sliver of happiness. You have to make sure to keep coming back and letting us know how you are. You're a great trailblazer
I know I'll have more to post in the coming days/weeks as I move along my path - would really appreciate your insight. Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Tanja, Philb, Geralt - It is so great to be able to get on-line and hear such great updates! You're all doing really, really, really well!
Keep all the good news coming!
I think it is amazing how much you are all accomplishing!! I'm in awe that you're able to get sober and deal with anxiety issues - whew! I don't have any personal experience with the anti-anxiety stuff but if it helps and you're working with the doc I say you're doing great. And Geralt - quitting smoking too!!! Great Job!
I am fortunate in that my anxiety goes away when I quit drinking. I can't imagine how challenging it is to deal with it all the time. to you all! I had started having horrible attacks before I quit for 6 months last year. The rest of this year they have come back and gone as my drinking level has gone up and down. Won't miss them at all!
Hope everyone has a super day/evening!
p.s. Hi Dee!
Keep all the good news coming!
I think it is amazing how much you are all accomplishing!! I'm in awe that you're able to get sober and deal with anxiety issues - whew! I don't have any personal experience with the anti-anxiety stuff but if it helps and you're working with the doc I say you're doing great. And Geralt - quitting smoking too!!! Great Job!
I am fortunate in that my anxiety goes away when I quit drinking. I can't imagine how challenging it is to deal with it all the time.
to you all! I had started having horrible attacks before I quit for 6 months last year. The rest of this year they have come back and gone as my drinking level has gone up and down. Won't miss them at all!Hope everyone has a super day/evening!
p.s. Hi Dee!
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