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DB you rock my universe!!! Love |
DB my shrink is texting me, I called him. So there is hope. |
Originally Posted by LindyLoo1985
(Post 3584863)
Hello everyone, I am new to this site and new to recovery. I did try this time last year by going to AA meetings but I still convinced myself I was ok to drink on a weekend. Now things are the same, suffering from depression and I have come to realise I need to STOP for good. Don't have that many close people I can count on so I am so happy I have found this site. 3 days sober today......Hope it gets easier soon and my cravings go away, the afternoons are terrible! |
Originally Posted by jaz06
(Post 3584827)
Ok...I have to be honest with my SR family. I have not had a sober day in almost a week (I'm so mad at myself I want to scream!). I had already said how the weekend was a bust for me with the company that we had. The biggest mistake I made (other than caving), was I didn't dump the booze that's in the house from the weekend. Why I thought I could handle it, I don't know. I just don't have that kind of will power. If it's here, I'm going to drink it. Everyday, I had no intention of drinking, but couldn't stick with it. Don't know if anybody noticed, but I have not been able to post a 'day 2' in awhile. Been living in my day 1 world. I didn't want to be absent from my SR friends, need to hear all about your successes & be here for your struggles. I even posted that I had a 'clear head', only because I wasn't hungover...but couldn't claim that I stayed completely sober. :( Yesterday was not a good day for me. We had lost power early in the day, didn't get it back until early this morning. I was able to light my stovetop, keeping busy I made a great meal for my family. Didn't have a drop of wine. Then after we ate & cleaned up the kitchen, my husband put the radio on, we sat in our lantern lit living room, he had a scotch in hand & we start to talk...about anything and everything. This is the norm for us when we lose power (we're in Northern Mich...middle of nowhere, it happens often). It's usually something I really enjoy. Within 5 minutes, the clinking of the cubes in his glass was enough to drive me insane!! I got up and got a glass of wine, then another (with or without the cube clinking, I would've gotten something anyways, so I can't completely blame it on that). Then I got mad...although it was really at myself, I took it out on him. I was giving him crap over anything I could possibly think of...not yelling & screaming or anything like that...just being a *itch (and please believe me when I say that is NOT me)! He didn't deserve it...& I feel like s**t because of it. I did relax & calm down, I did apologize, and I think he knew why I was upset. What is wrong with me?!! I need to get my head straight again...and dump out the damn wine. I know others have said it before & I do get it...I wish I could just be 'normal'. I hate this. I am on day 1...still. Dumping the friggin' wine. No intentions of drinking today. After reading so many of your successes, I have to apologize for being the 'needy child' of the family right now. Jaz, the most important time to reach out to us is when you are low/feeling "needy"...please don't apologize, that is what this community is about. I'm like you...if it is here, I will drink it. And I totally get the clinking of the ice cubes. Just watching a tv show with someone having a glass of wine is enough to set my mind a reeling and my mouth watering. I'm sorry you are struggling. Your time with your hubby sounded so romantic and also a time where you can have some real heart to heart talking. Next time when the craving starts in that kind of a moment, maybe focus on the candlelight, remind yourself that you want to be present and take in all your surroundings with a clear head...start making out with your hubby (lol), anything to not get up and get that first glass of wine. Because you know where that first glass will lead... Don't beat yourself up. Just start anew and reflect on some strategies that you can use to empower yourself. And please don't ever apologize for needing us. It's easy for people to post in times of success, it takes a truly strong person to come and post and be honest when they are struggling...and that is YOU my friend...You ARE strong and you will do this! :grouphug: |
Originally Posted by SoberForMySon
(Post 3584856)
I called my shrink. He txtd back. He's gonna call. There's hope. SFMS: You beat me posting...I didn't lump you in my big ol' rambling post cause you were going to get a post just for you, LOL! DO YOU KNOW HOW PROUD I AM OF YOU?!?!?! This is the first step to healing and releasing your mind, my friend. From there, sobriety will be much more in your reach! I AM SO HAPPY you took this first step. Proud, proud, proud of you! Now keep it up...you are well on your way, YAY! :You_Rock_ |
Morning all! Went to AA last night, soooo glad I went. Just working hard on the first step (we admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable). while I know in my head this is true, the disease part of me has been saying, "well, maybe your drinking wasn't THAT bad....". Geez. It WAS that bad, and would have gotten worse! So I'm basically working on the first word of the first step, "We." Not "I.". I can't do this alone, I need support and that includes SR! Thanks guys for sharing your stories and successs and struggles. We can do this! I hope everyone has a good day, especially anyone on day 1, whether for the very first time or the 100th time. Sobriety rocks! |
I hope he calls!!! I need help. Been thinking of death. Don't need that. Want to live. |
Originally Posted by SoberForMySon
(Post 3584861)
Nothing could be worse for the girl whose life is her dog. And that dog is 15 years old and can't live forever. Another terror. I. Will die when he dies. He is my world. Oh, god, help me, please. |
Yes, I don't want to waste a minute of time with my heart dog.... |
Originally Posted by SoberForMySon
(Post 3584876)
DB you rock my universe!!! Love (OK, I have to go wash this dang tub or it'll never happen, LOL...be back later my friends!!!) |
Sobersun: PROUD OF YOU!!!! Lindyloo: Welcome...this is a phenomenal community of unconditional love and support. We are happy to have you. Be strong. SFMS: Please remember that (my post about my pup and your response back about not wanting to waste a minute) when you are feeling those really low times. Look at your furbaby and he/she (?) should be enough to snap you out of it! <3 OK, what was I saying about cleaning the tub, LOL Love to you all! |
Deep: yes it is, that's exactly how I am keeping track! Thank you for your well wishes. This is certainly goin to be a trying couple of months, but what good am I if I am passed out when I get a phone call that one no them needs me? Best wishes to everyone! |
I hold my dog at night and thank god for him and his love. I squish his nose and hug him. He is my world. My life, my best friend. He is 15. He has been my world since I as 17! He is life to me. |
Originally Posted by DeepBreath2012
(Post 3584890)
Jaz, the most important time to reach out to us is when you are low/feeling "needy"...please don't apologize, that is what this community is about. I'm like you...if it is here, I will drink it. And I totally get the clinking of the ice cubes. Just watching a tv show with someone having a glass of wine is enough to set my mind a reeling and my mouth watering. I'm sorry you are struggling. Your time with your hubby sounded so romantic and also a time where you can have some real heart to heart talking. Next time when the craving starts in that kind of a moment, maybe focus on the candlelight, remind yourself that you want to be present and take in all your surroundings with a clear head...start making out with your hubby (lol), anything to not get up and get that first glass of wine. Because you know where that first glass will lead... Don't beat yourself up. Just start anew and reflect on some strategies that you can use to empower yourself. And please don't ever apologize for needing us. It's easy for people to post in times of success, it takes a truly strong person to come and post and be honest when they are struggling...and that is YOU my friend...You ARE strong and you will do this! :grouphug: |
Originally Posted by soberjim
(Post 3584857)
Jaz...pulling for you. Dump the crap out...I want to be normal too, however am realizing (slowly) that I am not normal when it comes to drinking. It never seems to work out well.. Overall I think it is part of the process of dealing with this..Realizing we are not normal when drinking. Hard to accept but necessary. Just wondering...I know it is our responsibility to deal with our drinking. We cannot put it on anyone else. Recipe for failure. I do notice in your post you talk about your husband having a drink of scotch. How do you think the evening would have turned out if your husband didn't have a drink of scotch.? Don't worry about the being needy part. Thats what we are all here for support! Jim As far as my husband having a drink or two, I'd be a big, fat liar if I said that I don't think it would help if he didn't. But because I do know I am totally responsible for my own drinking/sobriety, I don't feel like I have the right to ask him not to drink, when I'm the one with the problem. My head just spins with the thought of how I let myself get to where I'm at today. But...I guess 'where I'm at today' in trying to get sober, is way better than where I was at last month or last year when drinking was just a normal part of my day. |
SFMS, I'm also very proud of you for contacting your therapist! Every step counts. Take deep breaths & hug that furry baby of your's until you hear back. Keep us posted. Sending prayers your way!! |
Thanks!!!! |
DB, I have to lmbo about your comment about making out with my hubby when the 'cravings' hit! Soberjim, not a doubt in my mind that if I just jump his bones that's one sure fire way that he'd put down his scotch! LOL! Hey, this could work to both of our advantages!! |
SFMS, good job on reaching out for help! You CAN get well. So many people are rooting for you! I don't know what I would do without my dogs, either. They are my world. Their life has improved since I've been sober |
Hi Jaz, Just got back in and am catching up on posts. Your situation sounds EXACTLY like mine. My husband and I both drink (a lot) - not saying you and your hubby do - but I found that unless there was absolutely not a drop of alcohol in the house there was no hope in hell of quitting. I've spent a bizillion times over the past few years saying to my hubby that I was quitting but if he really didn't want to I was OK with him having a drink. Well, I'm a big fat liar because it bothers the hell out of me. As soon as he took one sip of his drink I was pouring myself one. Even if I poured everything out that I liked (which is wine or vodka/tonic) I'd find myself having a scotch even though I don't like it. Then I'd be pissed off at myself for having it and start blaming it on him (poor guy) - he's one of the most wonderful and considerate people I've ever met. I'm on Day 4 today (the first since July, the second in 6-1/2 years) and I found the only way to get a jumpstart on this was to ask him not to drink either. He's cranky about it but that's something he's willing to persevere if I am. Normally after a day or two of him being cranky I'd feel guilty for "forcing" him to quit and say "Oh, go have a drink, I'm fine with it". And then it would start all over again - I'd have a drink too. Sit your hubby down and explain that you REALLY need him to support you - at least in the beginning. Once you get a few days under your belt you'll start to feel better and realize that you CAN do this. This is rich coming from someone with only a few days sobriety but hey, baby, it's all I got! Keep coming here to post - you'll read a lot of success stories but there will also be people starting back at Day 1. As long as we keep wanting to try. |
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