Thanks xxx you and Hypo and Stillsleeping are doing brilliantly!

Has anyone heard from INH? X

Hypo, well done girl! My five months is coming up. I like the milestones - they make you reflect on what you've done so far. I think it's both important and nice. :)

And...butter pecan?? Are you serious?? Oh boy. And you have some of this in your freezer? Why is it still there? How is it you haven't eaten it yet? Are you some sort of superhero? Man, I'm hitting M&S tomorrow. OMG I got a Marks' voucher from the school at the end of term. Haha!! £10 worth of pecan and butter ice cream, comin up. Brilliant.

And yes, I'm writing at the moment. It's my second novel - the first one needs rewrites and is currently 'maturing' in my hard drive. I'm about half way through this second one, and it's going considerably faster now I'm not being a teacher all the time. The plan is to use this year out of teaching to see if I can get good enough to be published, maybe. The weird thing is, writing is at least as stressful as teaching, and so far there isn't really any reward. I mean, when it's good, it feels really really good. But it takes, like, a year of your life and you have no idea AT ALL whether what you're doing is actually a pile of bollocks. That's kind of scary.

Anyhoo, at least I'm giving it a go. And it is fun, really. In a weird, playing with yourself kind of way :D

xxx

Yup Still, and all the icecream at M&S was half price! I got a bit overexcited and it's all I have in to eat right now.

That's so cool about writing a novel. I have a friend who has nearly been published a few times! Not yet though. I love reading her stuff though because I can see where a lot of it comes from. One even centres around a holiday we took together. Is it a particular genre or just literature? I suggest erotic fiction...seems to be all the rage these days ;) x

I'll have to youtube the ceremony Job. Part of me does feel like I should check out the big occasions, but I get a perverse kick out of ignoring them. I feel proud that I have absolutely no idea what Kate Middleton's wedding dress looked like ;) x

Ok, this is ridiculous!
Fast asleep this morning with bedroom windows wide open, when I'm awoken by the sound of joggers! Running past my house chatting about the Olympics with not a care in the world!
How selfish. How am I supposed to sleep with the sound of their chatter and running shoes hitting the pavement?!
Hope you're listening Still. Running is anti-social behaviour in the extreme!!

Xxxx

Haha! Yeah, I'm listening! But you can stop your yellin - I was out on my bike this morning. Battling 30mph winds, you'll be amused to know; getting home was a bloody endurance test. Could do with some ice cream :D

And anyway, I run down on the stones where I don't bug anyone except the seagulls, and they can go to hell. You want to get mad at noise in the morning, check out our gulls, man. Bloody things. I got hit around the head with one once, did I tell you? It misjudged the wind and flew into my brain at about 40mph. Idiot thing. I had a massive egg on my head and caused huge mirth for all the people that were standing at the bus stop and saw it happen.

Job, Hypo, we don't have TV either. It's brilliant. And, no, I'm not going to start streaming TV through my computer - that would completely defeat the point of not having TV.

Love you all :)

xxx

Maybe you were irritating the gulls with all your running? Did you ever think of that?!
I'm feeling kind of emotional today, not unhappy, just that everything seems a little bit fragile. I almost cried in the supermarket at a song that came on, had to pull myself together!
It's ok though, I'm accepting that emotion is normal. I just haven't allowed myself to feel anything really for so long it's a bit like a shaken up bottle of fizz that somebody is unscrewing!
I probably just need more ice cream!

Xxxx

I've had the overly sensitive emotional thing alot Jeni. I hate it. It's like that really bad PMT you get once every blue moon but all the time. I realised as well that I haven't actually been able to speak out loud to another person about my alcohol problem without crying. When that happens it's going to be a major breakthrough for me! I feel like such a big girl! x

I haven't really spoken to anyone about my drinking, only my H, kids, 1brother, SR and AA. Oh, and my best friend, but that's been difficult cos she is married to an alcoholic and so although we're in touch by text about 100 times a day, we tend not to do the getting together thing with our partners any more. Especially since H has quit too. He is also a friend, but has become somewhat distant lately...
Anyway on the face of it, to anyone else that I know and work with, nothing's changed. Except I don't go out on the p1ss with them any more or talk about drinking as a main topic of conversation!
I prefer it that way. I like to keep my real self to myself and just continue to live as the person they think I am.
I think I have been the most honest and open than I have been in my life here on SR. I've told you all far more than even my H knows! But it feels kind of safe cos we are all sitting behind our computers/holding our iPhones in different parts of the world!
I dont cry much if at all. Now I'm sober of course, I used to cry all the time when drunk but that wasn't real. I think I probably need to go through all sorts of emotions before I level out. Think it's part of growing.
We are doing just fine Hypo. Stick with me, we will face all this emotional stuff together xxxxx

That's funny...I am the complete opposite here. I used to avoid any topics about alcohol like the plague when I was drinking because I'm incurably honest and would never want to admit to how much I drank. Now I can talk about drinking. I don't have to scurry out of the room everytime the topic comes up. I can make jokes about being drunk and even mention that I used to be a big drinker :) It feels good to not have do the whole avoidy thing.

It's also safe here because everyone gets it. One of the questions my addiction counsellor asked me was 'Do you feel like people take you seriously about your drinking?' to which the answer was a resounding no! It's funny, this is a topic that effects many people but if you tell someone you're an alcoholic they will look shocked. I've had one person tell me they thought they might have a problem themselves but they're nowhere near the stage I was. I think a lot of people find that information threatening because it holds a mirror up to their own behaviour.

I haven't told many people either btw. After telling my family I decided only to tell people as a last resort if they try and get me to drink. Then it will serve to stop them worrying about my drinking and start them worrying about their own, haha.

It's true, everybody gets it here. I never stray far from this place, it's my lifeline!x

This blows. My dad's a really black and white guy; it's hard to get him to see the greys. He grew up with the idea that you can't be an alcoholic of you just drink beer (??) and that addicts are the last person to admit they've got a problem. By elimination anyone who tells you they're an alcoholic BEFORE you've had the chance to accuse them, isn't. Haha!

Which is why I'm following your dear advice and just telling him I've quit, and let him ask questions if he wants to.

Our play date at the museum is on the 8th btw... :)

I'm sorry you're both feeling so fragile - Hypo I agree, that weepy, out of control feeling is the pits. I'd rather be angry, any time. Jen, I think you hit the nail on the head with the ice cream idea - I also recommend a duvet and a copy of Dirty Dancing. Sing with me... she's like the wind...

xxxx

Oh, and I went to M&S!! Their ice cream was half price, so I also got chocolate cookie vanilla. Recliners, here we come! :D

xxx

I've now run out of Twix I've cream, having been far too generous in sharing it out! Yikes!
Luckily have got a standby pack of choc digestives...

Jeez, don't share it!! Me an Jack polished off both cartons haha! I may die... :D

My oreo klondike bars are calling...............

What on earth are they?!?

Oh my poor ladies across the pond... do tell me that they have klondike bars there?

Klondike

I don't believe so?
My goodness, I feel deprived! X

Yeah but Jeni, they don't have Cadburys in America... Products | Cadbury.co.uk

I would not be sober right now if it weren't for Crunchies ;)

Hey you're right Hypo...! All we have is the cadbury creme egg!