Lilac: I love that you're working to serve folks on the fringe who have been given a raw deal for so long. You're intervening in those children's lives and whether they like it or not at the present, :), you'e giving them the tools and experiences to make good choices in the future and helping shape their lives for the better. Good for you for not defending criminals or corrupt bankers or corporations that don't give a crap about the environment!

I've found in the past month of sobriety that I:
1. have one heck of a lot more productive time at work because I'm not hungover every other day
2. do better quality work, think more clearly, am more organized
3. have a lot more confidence in myself because of my abilities
4. have been part of the solution instead of the problem!

So hopefully this will continue...for both of us...and that feeling of being overtasked/overwhelmed/super stressed at work will dissipate...because we'll be fully able to focus on the tasks at hand, tackle them with reason, rationality and creativity, and all will work out in the end....fingers crossed for both...and all of us on this.

GO Jeni!!! Congrats on your first week! Since you're off for the next...fill it with quality time thinking about yourself, how much you love yourself, and what you need to do to truly take care of yourself body, mind and spirit. It's your job to learn to appreciate yourself and treat yourself with love and respect. I think these thoughts often...like why the HECK would I ever pour poison into my body? why would I EVER venture BACK into hell...knowing what it's really like? You have seen the light...you've been given the opportunity to surface for a gulp of fresh air...and you have the power and the strength to make that PERMANENT! Run with it girl...you are precious and deserve a life full of happiness, clarity, love and joy. You have the key in your hand! So happy for your first week. It is by FAR the toughest. Yes, there's battles to be fought in the future, but now you know you can win them! I wish you luxuriation and happiness in your week off.

Being broke is better than being drunk/hungover and broke. Broker, really. I went through all my ATM and credit card statement for the past year and figured out that I was spending EIGHT HUNDRED dollars a month on booze. WOAH!!! That's more than my mortgage and power bill combined in every month except Jan/Feb!

I reward myself, psychiatrist advised, each week or milestone with a special purchase. My doc had me make a list of milestones and corresponding purchases. I said things like sheetrock for the den, plants for the hedge, and she was like NO DUMMY!!! I want you to buy frivolous girl things (shoes, bling, purses, cute guns, etc.) that you've had your eye on and have always wanted but thought you couldn't afford or didn't deserve! i felt SO guilty making those purchases...will share my list later...but it started to make sense to me. I had those blingy things on my mind, which act as a great motivator, and I started to believe that I actually deserved it! So...if you're feeling the need to spend...make it strategic!

Okay think of it this way...first of all the clarity of mind you are so bummed out over is a gift. But for now, you're looking backward (we all do this) at all the glamorous "fun" you had drinking and facing the "loss" of that friend. You're in mourning. Really. When you get some days under your belt, and you realize that sobriety is fantastic, you will begin to have much more confidence in yourself, your future, and that attachment to and feeling of "loss" surrounding alcohol will begin to fade. And I sincerely hope, stick it out with SR, it's the most powerful tool in my arsenal, that you look back at that bookstore incident, this week in your life and say to yourself "dang, if I only knew then what I know now!"

Mourning the Bottle
 

Check this thread out :)
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...s-alcohol.html
and these
Dry Drunk - Dry Drunk Syndrome
Alcohol Freedom Blog » Mourning the Loss of Alcohol in Your Life

WOO-HOO!!!! Lesser folk would have crumbled. Congrats on making it through a psychogically, emotionally, physically sucky day. You can do it friend!! Thanks for posting. Sunshine is easy to talk about, it's the tough stuff that we all learn so much from.

Yay we've moved threads!

I'm still 22 days sober.

Like i discussed I'm at my drinking friends house for the week. They know im sober but we still went to a bar before dinner for cheap drinks and then Mexican food for dinner and then came back home with a six pack.

I didnt drink, I havent had a drink and I don't plan to have a drink. I sipped soda water at the bar and a mocktail at the restaurant and I got an icecream instead of a six pack.

Good morning, everyone!
I am 30 days sober! Woo-hoo!

I will not deny it has been a long, emotional 30 days. I was determined I would spend this time really working on recovery instead of just "not drinking." It does not feel like just yesterday that I had my last drink, it feels like eons ago. I think that is because I am in such a different place than I was just 30 days ago.

I am so very grateful for my sobriety, and I am going to hold onto it tight. I am also very thankful for all of you, for all of your support and also your willingness to share both your triumphs and struggles. We are a great bunch of people around here. So much caring for one another and positivity on this board. I am a lifelong member!

For my next 30 I am going to focus even more intently on exercise, nutrition, and bringing back some hobbies from the past that I have not done in years. It is my responsibility to fill up my time with productive activity. I have needed this past month to get my bearings straight, but here I am and now to continue to move forward.

I was pretty sure I would make it a month, but I was NOT at all prepared for the absolute JOURNEY I would be taking. It has been an awesome, but very thought-provoking ride. I have learned to appreciate the little (and big) things in life. I am not taking anything for granted anymore.

Thanks to all of you for your caring and support. It has made a BIG difference to me and I would not be sober today without it!!
All the best,
Lee

2magnolias, your comments and support for everyone here are truly inspiring, it is an honour to be amongst such lovely people.
Lee, we first met in the March thread, and following your progress has been truly inspirational for me. Many congratulations on your 30 days, you thoroughly deserve to feel very proud of all your hard work.
Onwards and upwards good people, we can all do this when we stick together.
Have a great day everyone xxx

congratulations Lee - have a good day everyone :)

D

I made it through my first night on my camping weekend. The weather was, how shall I see, wild. High winds, pouring down rain and tornado warnings. When I think about my past life, this would have been the perfec setting to drink. I now realize how irresponsible that was considering the fact I have my two daughters with me. In the event of an emergency I would have been completely worthless. This experience has helped understand that I have a role in this world, protect the ones you love.

We weathered storm and now have good memories to talk about in the future. In the past I would have also had a few shots of scotch to start the day. Not today. Today I am looking forward to enjoying the beauty of my surroundings and the comfort of my family.

Day 4, 4004 more days to go. Enjoy the weekend everyone.

So glad to see your post this morning Payton.

I too have found myself craving a glass (actually many glasses) of wine when things are not going well with my husband.
It has been interesting to take note of which activities of my daily life trigger cravings for alcohol.
Lot's of work to be done for sure…learning how to navigate life sober.

2mags…your posts sooth my brain, I feel comforted by your words. Thank you. Congratulation on a month sober.

Luling, if you find your way back to the May 2012 group, please know that we are thinking of you. Class hug for you.

Onward with Day 8 for me. It's a weekend without the kids, but I'm feeling strong right now. Off for a bike ride and to prep some baseball fields for the kiddos tournament.

Love you all.

Well I think the flu passed, but I'm wiped out. Slept 19 of the last 24 hours. I am aware that how I feel today is pretty akin to a hangover, and also how unhealthy that feeling is. Odd how we learned to just accept that constant feeling of sickness as "normal."

The good news is I lost those 4 lbs I wanted to shed. Quick, come check out my washboard abs before I eat something. :)

I've read everyone's posts but don't have the mental acuity to respond. Congrats to everyone celebrating milestones -- though of course every day is a milestone. :)

Lilac if you don't mind me asking, which tribe are you working for? Navajo? Ute? Paiute?

It's a hot day today. Going to go find some water to lay beside and soak up that B12 (is that right?) from the sun....

Good morning, all!

I've spent the past hour catching up with reading everyone's posts -- all good and helpful thoughts and insights!

Yesterday afternoon I went to my gastric bypass surgery support group and brought up the topic of increased alcohol sensitivity after surgery. That was somewhat scary since I had no idea if anyone else had similar problems (though the odds are good/bad depending on point of view). It was helpful to find out that it's rather common.

Yesterday evening I slipped and had 5 glasses of wine. I feel/felt miserable and although part of me wanted to give up, the bigger part of me felt very strongly that I wanted to come back here and be totally honest about it. It helps that others have posted when they've had difficulties. I am not giving up and want to continue to work on this. I've thought about what went wrong ... a couple of stressful days and a moment's inattention were all it took. I now know that even though I more or less retired, I still need to plan for the weekends. I'm asking myself "why" and realize that doing the part-time work is stressful (I don't like my job and it's not fulfilling); I had too many things I felt I "had" to get done at the end of the week. And it was in a brief moment of weakness that I stopped at the store and picked up wine. I'm trying not to go on a guilt trip but instead to think about what happened and how I can prevent this. Many ideas you've all expressed are helping me.

Uninvited and Tanja, I also have pet issues if I drink. I have an adorable little kitty (tiny but feisty and 13 years old) she was a rescued cat and still hides from most people who come to visit. The conditions in which she was kept for her first year were horrible. We have a bond and I feel a strong desire to help her feel safe and secure.

OneLessLonely - the book I like is "The Tao of Sobriety" which I ordered from Amazon. crewisms, congratulations on Day 8. I'm looking forward to getting that far. 2mags - I like your therapist's idea of spending some money on fun things as a reward. And Leezmer, 30 days is quite an accomplishmet imho!

I realized, too, that I have multiple addictions -- alcohol, spending and eating. If I don't do one, then I go on to another. I'm continuing to work on why I do this and think it's a way of avoiding dealing with my feelings and giving my brain that very temporary and very short-lived "lift". So I need to work on finding healthier ways to deal with my feelings. Sometimes I get discouraged when I feel that I've been working on some of these issues for the past 50 years but if I think back more carefully, I realize that I have made slow yet significant progress. It's a journey that won't end until I do.

This group is helping me to deal with things like this relapse differently. In the past I think I would have given up and it would have been a long time before I'd try again. Today my goal is to make it through the day with no alcohol.

Thankyou for your honesty and bravery in coming straight back on board Saskia. It's often the hardest thing to do but by far the most sensible!
Keep going, we're right behind you x
I think many of us have multiple addictions, I certainly have. Until we're sober for a good length of time, I don't think we really work out who we are. The brain fog needs to clear then we are free to discover ourselves, who we are and why we do what we do. A voyage of self discovery and not always easy.
The first thing to do is not drink today .....
Big hugs xxx

Thank you, Jeni for welcoming me back. I felt reasonably sure I wouldn't be judged but it's helpful to have someone confirm that so quickly! I am soooo glad to be here.

Saskia, glad you're back and glad you're enjoying the Tao of Sobriety. I think HitRockBottom picked it up as well, which is great, because I'd love to hear what both of you liked about it (I had originally suggested it).

I went through a three month stint of sobriety last fall, but I kept slipping, but kept coming back to SR. It was only once I stopped coming back to SR (because I felt "embarrassed") that things went truly south, and they were quickly worse than before.

I think as long as you keep coming back, you're still on the path toward sobriety. And that's sure better than being on the path back to hell :)

Glad you posted and were honest. No judgement here -- we've all been there :)

Good Saturday morning, May boaters! Gorgeous day by the sea in the land of obnoxious summer tourists. I'm going to skip the hordes and laze in our mansion's olympic-sized pool. Doing a coupla laps wouldn't hurt, either.

Deserto: So glad to hear that you've crawled back from the dead and are feeling better. That stomach flu deal is pure evil. Gentle hugs for you, buddy. :)

Lee: Big thumbs up on your first 30! Awesome job, boater.

Saskia: I love your personal posts. Your conversational style of writing comes across as if it's just the two of us talking in person over tea and cookies. Slips are blips on the screen of our sober journey. All part of the mix while we work hard to get it right. Happy that you're getting back on the wagon with us. All the best to you.

Payton: You prevailed against the booze, woo hoo! Super job. Grace under pressure and you pulled through.:)

2Mags: I gain so much knowledge from your posts. You really are our class rock. Wonderful how you provide detailed, individual attention and support to everyone here. Congrats on your continued sobriety.

Crew: Go, Crew, go! Terrific how you're remaining steadfast in your sobriety. Your kids must love it. Keep it up. Also, love your signature Yogi Berra quote. One of my favs: "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

Pink62, Iwant2, Soberjane, KittyCat, Uninvited, Jeni: Stellar jobs on the sober front, classmates! Congrats.

Weekend has begun
Working in the sun
So much to get done
On Day 21.

If you get a chance, please send cyber hugs to our respected boaters, Luling and Saskia, who jumped over to the Class of June 2012 thread. OK, classmates. Off to continue my procrastination. Have a lovely Saturday and I'll catch ya later. :)