Hi All,

I would like to add one more thing to the above. My gf told me not to worry. What was done was done and that her family need to look at themselves rather than worry about others.

Most importantly, she said that he needed to hear the things that were said and it was a few months back plus he said to come home and I aplogised and his problems are not of my making, I am just an excuse.

Who knows?

I am happy,

Chimp!

None of us can change the past Chimp. What we can do is put our best foot forward with love and compassion. You are on the money.

Instant,

That is a hopeful line, thank you. And I am a lot better at implementing it than I ever was before.

My gf went to the doctors yesterday as she had found a lump in her breast. She said that the Doctor found it straight away and said that it was likely to be a cist. She has been referred to the hospital for a scan. There is a history of breast cancer in the family. Her Aunty died of it. Her mum had it at 39. My gf is nearly 35. She says even if it is nothing she will want it removed.

The last week she has been really tired. You can see it in her face. It frightens me, really frightens me. Can someone explain this all to me:

Are all lumps cists?

Can benign lumps/cists become cancerous?

I am sober and will stay so.

Chimp!

I responded to your other thread Chimp - I'm not a Dr...but the fact the word cyst has been mentioned already seems to suggest things are hopeful to me - best wishes to you both :)

D

Chimp try not to worry - I work in a pathology lab and office and see lots of cysts and lumps taken from various places and the majority of them are benign - it is always best to get these things dealt with as early as possible though then if there is anything more serious it can be treated.

I wish you both all the best and hope a clear and benign diagnosis can be provided quickly so your minds can be put at ease.

Im not medically trained but of all the cysts I have seen they have always not been cancerous and if its been referred to as probably a cyst im sure all will be fine.

Chimp I hope it all works out for your gf - I find times like these that a part of the serenity prayer is very helpful:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

It's that part I highlighted that has really carried me and still does to this very day. :)

Everybody, thank you for your comments.

I tell myself that everything will be ok and everything is fine but she looks drained. I can't explain it perhaps but I feel really protective of her. I always have but the last two days she has lost all her colour. She was off work today because the tablets she is taken for her back pain have knocked her out.

Part of me says not to exaggerate things, not to be dramatic but then I tell myself that I am not being dramatic this is actually happening.

I imagine she has worried about this all her life given that there have been deaths in her family because of breast cancer and her mum had it a few years back. I know that statistically she will be ok but I know she must be really feeling it. When she was younger her and her sisters went to have dna/genes tests done but they were too young.

I am going to get off the computer tonight and go hug her on the couch. Not be dramatic and all that, just give her some love!

Thanks to you all,

Chimp!

Chimp I hope it all works out. There are no end of challenges. The more I think about the serenity prayer the more wisdom there is in it.

For myself I am working out it is best not to run from pain and suffering, but also that I need not over-react to it. I have al long way to go. I am amazed by how much my state ebbs and flows.

In four days time I will be eight calendar months. Despite the challenges I think this is a better way to live.

Instant,

Yes, the prayer is a remarkable.

The cat is walking all over the keyboard. Oh, she has sat down on the desk. Nope, up again, purring and loving.

Again, thanks for all your comments. We must not run away from life. We must embrace it and live each and every day.

One thing my gf is accused of is not listening, either to her boys or her ex's. I think I worked it out yesterday because I was the same as a kid. Always blaming others.

I think it is because we want our mums to help us and when they don't we resent them. And of course that is a lot because the things we want them to help us with are inner wounds, outer difficulties.

When boys realise that they are responsible for their own lives, for their own decisions and circumstances, then they become men. I hope that I am that man now.

Chimp!

We never stop growing Chimp if all is going well.

Hi classmates! Your friendly neighborhood Leo dropping by to wish everyone a fabulous weekend and nothing but success. Today is day #231, which also makes it 33 weeks alcohol and nicotine free.

Have a great one!! :)

Hello All,

Just popping in to say hello and wishing you all the best for 2012.

I had a couple of lapses during the holiday but no major melt downs as I have in the past. 57 out of the past 60 days without a drink. I just keep trying to string together longer streaks of sobriety. I have a local support group which is where I am spending most of my support time. The face to face feedback is a help. No slight to anyone here, SR started me on this road and i haven't forgot that.

Congats to all of you doing so well! God bless!

Well done Wade, keep plugging away.

I will be eight calendar months tomorrow.

It is great to get up at 6am on Saturday with a clear head, and feeling relaxed. It is 8am the rest of the family are still in bed and I have done a few things around the house. Previously I was up at 10am and moping around complaining.

Marvellous Instant,

I am about to go to bed on a Friday night sober!

Good night all!

Chimp!

congrats on 8 months Instant :)

have a great weekend everyone :)

D

I feel alive this morning.

I have not felt like this in years. Never in fact.

Everything has come together and now I can go forward. Finally, I am me, living and working my dream and most improtantly, I have a form of expression.

All my life I have loved reading, visiting historic sites and talking about them. I did a History degree and got a 2:1. I then went into teaching. But always there was this emptiness inside. I knew my heart was elsewhere.

As many of you know I left teaching in April last year to form my company running battlefield tours. It has taken months to get to where I am now and it will take years to make it a business I can live comfortably on.

But that, right now, does not matter. What matters this very minute is that the business and the tours I operate are an expression of me. They are me.

I can read all day but still something is missing.

I can spend the day in the archives but still something is missing.

I can take people around a battlefield and still something is missing.

In the past few weeks I have been working on what I call 'Battlefield Reports'. They are the result of my reading and research and they allow me to write in a structure. From them, I can create my tours. Create the stories, the atmospheres, bring past events and people to a modern audience in very different landscapes.

Finally and it has taken months, years in fact, of effort and thinking. I have fallen into my path. I know what I have to do and how I have to do it. Most importantly, I am doing it and I am happy.

It is my life's work and no one can ever take it away from me. It is what I do and it is who I am. Everything, my reading, reserach, writing and guiding have come together. My work is before me. And my business is just its result.

And it gives me such a wonderful sense of freedom that I have found myself.

Chimp!

Well done Chimp. It is great you have found a vocation you are passionate about.

I celebrated my 8months listening to an AA speaker tape whilst ironing in the peace of the morning.

My fitness has improved, yesterday I cycled for 75mins including a hill climb, then went for a swim for the best part of an hour. Today I will paint the gate. There is no doubt my life is so much better, but to have some peace in my mind is priceless.

Great to see you posting Wader! Glad to hear that you are well.

It's cold here in Toronto. Here's a picture I stumbled upon tonight - a sunset that I took in Tobago about 2 years ago.

Hope it warms you.

http://kixsand.smugmug.com/Other/Tob...DSC0497-XL.jpg

TP it,s about 35C here now at 6pm. I am just going to the beach for a swim. Sunset will be about 8.30pm.

A great way to celebrate 8 months of freedom.

Envious of your weather Instant and Dee!

I'm with you on the celebration though. I'm 7 months into this now and feel great. I just heard on the radio that today is "Blue Monday" in North America - the saddest day of the year. I'm not feeling it!