Brent, him sponsoring you is an integral part of his program. It keeps him sober. You will learn (if he hasn't pointed it out already) that you are doing him just as much of a service by being his sponsee. Really. :)
This is one of the things that is so amazing about this program (that, and the fact that it WORKS!) ;)

It sounds as if you have been gifted with an amazing sponsor.



As for me, it is with some trepidation that I will set out early this evening for my husband's office Christmas party. They have one every year, and it is always a huge drunk-fest. It is always held in a bar/restaurant with an 'open bar'. For the past 8 years hubby and I have been enjoying this party by getting as wasted as possible. This will be my first time venturing out into the drinking world--so far I have stayed away from everything alcohol related since sobering up. I am not against alcohol one bit--but thought it best for me to steer very clear of temptation this early in my sobriety. SO, I have decided that although I will make an appearance at the party, I'll go early, stay for dinner, and then get the heck out of there directly after the meal--thus avoiding as much temptation as possible, and also the inevitable annoying drunkenness of many people that will be evident as the night goes on! ;)

Take care my august (and I mean that as an adjective!) friends!

Good luck, Sphal (((hugs)))

Sphal- You are exactly right. He did tell me that being my sponsor helps him also. For many reasons. As for your X-mas party, I know you will do great. This was actually the topic for the meeting I was at on Wednesday. A LOT of good information was shared by some great "old timers." When someone asks if you want a drink, just say "ya know, I think I will have a Sprite tonight." Don't say that you don't drink anymore, or anything like that. Then people will start talking and the attention is on you. Also, they made it very clear that you need your own wheels so you can leave as SOON as you feel uncomfortable. Make sure you and your husband and whoever you go with are on the same page. When it is time to go, GO NOW! Not "20 more minutes" or something like that. They also said to make sure your motives for even going are clear. If you don't want to go, feel uncomfortable, or don't need to be there, STAY HOME. One of the guys said in regards to being around alcohol: "if you hang out at the barbershop long enough, you are going to get a haircut." haha. But meaning if you keep playing with fire, you will get burned.

But like I said, I know you will do great, and you have thought this through in your head and you have made the choice and feel OK with going. I look forward to hearing from you sober tomorrow! :) I have been around alcohol many times since I have sobered up, and i just don't drink. No one has given me a hard time, and no one cares!

As for everyone else, I wish you all a sober and happy weekend. I am going to check out a new meeting at noon today. Should be fun! :)

We are making a 3 hour road trip each way AGAIN this weekend to my wifes parents house. It is my wifes grandpas 90th birthday party this weekend. Not too excited about going, but how do you say no, right?

Cheers to a sober weekend everyone!

Sphal...

I echo what Brent has shared with you.

It sounds like you have a solid plan in place. Imagine that all of us are there with you.,
cheering you on...you aren't alone.

You can, and will have a good time without the alcohol...you will then, wake up tomorrow
without a hangover...how marvelous!

Hi August folks. It's been a tough two weeks for me, work has been very busy and I've been suffering a bout of agitated depression, which has thrown my perception off. I describe it like trying to function under a blanket of crap, I just get too worn down and anxious to counter my negative and irrational thoughts.

I've had a few experiences of being the only one not drinking recently. A work planning day culminated in afternoon drinks, and no one thought to provide anything non-alcoholic. I will organise some mineral water or lemonade next time. My step-mother came for a visit during some of the toughest days I've had at work this year and I got home only to be offered wine, even after I'd made it clear that I don't drink. She drank most evenings she stayed with me and left half a bottle of wine in the fridge. It was lovely having her stay, none the less. A Christmas party for work was of course held at a pub, although there was yummy lemon, lime and bitters for us teetotalers (2 people out of 20). I attended an outdoor music festival at a vineyard (saw the B52's!), the first time I've ever attended anything like that sober and mostly everyone (sans kids) in the 5000 strong crowd was chugging back beer and wine. It got rather messy later in the evening. Friends on Facebook regularly announce the cracking open of the first beer or glass of wine on a Friday afternoon. It's ritually announced like the cure-all for the week's woes.

Our culture is so saturated with alcohol and it pisses me off.

The good news is that I've found a competent and good psychologist who bulk-bills. I've drunk one night out of the last 126 and it's been a month since I did so, I'm pleased with that.

I hope everyone is well. Stay strong and sober.

P.S. Just poured the half-bottle of wine down the sink.

box3 - "Our culture is so saturated with alcohol and it pisses me off."

I agree. Televised sporting events are loaded (no pun intended) with beer commercials and the prevalence of alcohol on college campuses really encourages drinking. When I was in college Monday was a big drinking night on my dorm floor. A local bar had some big projection TV's to watch Monday night football and it was 10 cent beer night. For $2 you could get really loaded and still have enough money to buy a hot dog for 50 cents. A lot of kids out grow this drinking phase, a lot don't.

KC here.

Talked to my best guy friend yesterday. Told him all about my "injuries" from last week. He started laughing. I said "it's not funny" and he said, no, it's not, but the way you are describing it, it's funny. Waking up with a huge bruise, etc. He then said seriously, "I think you need to just make sure there is no alcohol in your life right now." I just laughed. He said - no, why can't you do that? It can't be that hard, can it? I said no, I guess not. I didn't have the guts to tell him it is much more serious than I "let on." We are meeting for lunch next week, so maybe I can fess up more then. While he is my best friend, I dont' have the guts to fess up to him. Not sure why. I just can't

KC

You don't owe anybody anything........work from the inside out sweetie............just my opinion........if my dude only knew my stuff............good grief.........I need to start with me as well........hugs.

KC, maybe seeing him in person, as the conversation goes on, it'll feel right to tell him. Some things are hard to tell over the phone...


Well, y'all, I'm back on the wagon again, for what it's worth. I finally got the lesson I guess SR's been trying to give me since near the beginning of my time here. I can be misunderstood, dangerously so, by mere juxtaposition of events (I don't write down everything I do in a day, say) and by people hearing only part of a sentence. I'm writing that in this here forum because you all are actually not the ones I'm talking about. Although I have consistently had this problem when I post things in the Newcomer's forum, and tonight it took place in chatroom.

I know it's probably petty. But the fact that I usually don't lie, and usually at least try to do the right thing was always something I relied on, something that made me feel good enough about myself.

It's been a couple years since I had people around me to at least give me an indication of how I was appearing to others... now I have to guess. And what I learned tonight is that I am apparently not presenting myself--or, better put, being comprehended--as the person I am, either better or worse. Whether it's my fault with my words, or my fault for not seeing what the misunderstandings are, it ends up being my problem. Even if it's people not fully paying attention to what I'm saying--I can expect of nobody to follow my life as fully as I do... that is far from reasonable.

But I am confused and going to work on that some.

Take care y'all.
TB

thats fantastic brent... :)

saph, i understand the family catch up stuff, keeps me off here as well !

speaking of family gotta go

take care all

Zebra, there's a massive problem with binge and underage drinking here in Australia. On one hand the Government and media jump up and down about it, on the other hand it's encouraged as a right of passage, as something you do with your mates. At Uni (college), most of the organised social events for the clubs revolve around imbibing cheap alcohol, and are sponsored by companies that produce beer.

I'm seriously thinking of joining AA just so I can meet some people who don't drink.

Box, the scene you describe in Australia also describes how it is here in the States. Fortunately, my daughter who is a freshman in college doesn't drink, smart kid. However, she is thinking about getting her nose pierced which doesn't thrill me.

TB-good to see you here on the board..I have to admit that I am having a hard time following what you are saying, but am glad to hear you are back on the wagon.

KC-you know, take your time, and feel your way about telling your best friend. When the time is right, and you feel strong enough to share with him, you will know. It is much different sharing here without seeing people face to face..especially people we know and are close to us.

Alcohol is so readily acceptable everywhere. It is promoted, and disguised to be less of a problem then it is. My son is a junior in college. I know he drinks, I also know that he is aware of the family gene pool., and so far, knock wood, he has just been a social, responsible drinker. I have been open and honest with him with all aspects of this demon.

Peace folks.

ANew, that's what I meant, strangely.

All along, I've been writing things, and thinking that if I could understand some of what y'all were going through, then that was true in reverse. And often it was--guaging by responses that made sense. But equally often it was not true--especially in the threads I started. Many of those, some of the responses seemed to me to have been to another question. As I opened up farther, the gap grew wider. I had trouble expressing what I was going through, especially the whole surreal aspect of the dorm life, which I did not know at the time was atypical--nothing to compare it to.

Yesterday, I learned another thing about online communication. I was called a liar, told I had misrepresented myself. The conversation in question had included all the elements I had allegedly painted myself as--only not as *describing me*. I had forgotten that people may read things fast, may overlook things, may group things together that aren't supposed to be grouped... Probably due to conversation of an informal nature--that I have with my friends--carrying a higher level of detail and attention. Most speaking I do is more formal, of course... the internet is not. I will eventually adjust, I'm sure.

Y'all here in August were pretty much the first friends I ever had online and since I'm not used to online manners, I figure I'd tell y'all thank you all very much. I have learned so much about myself here and I don't know where I'm going--or if I'm going anywhere--but I just wanted to stop by and thank you all for putting up with me all these months.

This is not a request for anything, nor was it ever--all I ever wanted was to live in a normal realm of some description. This was the closest I've found in a long time, so again, I thank y'all for that. I have learned that what's wrong in my world does not connect to the real world... and as heartbreaking as that can be for me, it is invaluable information. But all this is, is a last cathartic attempt and, more generally, a statement of fact...

I don't feel much connected to this or any other thing, and having no internet at home has pretty much left me alone almost 24/7. I figure I'll/it'll get better one day--most likely by me leaving this wasteland--but that's not for here or there. This has been obvious for the last couple months, really... I just was afraid of losing anything I did have for the chance of an empty box... I wish y'all the best of luck, keep up what y'all are doing, it seems to be working out well for y'all.

TB.:Xmasostar

TB-hugs honey...maybe its too late at night for me to grasp what all you are trying to say.

I wish you love, light and happiness. I wish you could be with or be surrounded by people you love, family, friends..I just don't know enough of the whys and ways of your situation.It does weight heavy on my heart that you don't feel a part of us here..because I do feel like you belong here with us.

Please hang in there, and hang on here...

Peace

TB: :hug:

I couldn't say that better myself ANew.
Take care Bubba :)

Don't go leaving...
D

What they said. (((TB)))

Happy morning homies. haha. Just checking in on this snowy, cold Monday morning in South Dakota. Good day to grab a cup of coffee and get some work done.

Welcome back TB, and let us know what we can do to help you.

I am back from a weekend an my in-laws for my wifes grandpas 90th birthday party. I have to admit, the urge to drink on Saturday night was pretty strong. To be honest, my inlaws drive me nuts! haha. They are nice, but just get on my nerves, ya know? :) But I resisted and prayed to my God, and it passed. I am happy to report that today is day 35 without a drink, and life just keeps getting better. I am getting ready to tackle the holiday season sober.

But I hope all of you are well, and I hope on the road to recovery. Let us know how all of you are doing! :)

Hugs to another sober week.

Today...it is warm, humid and gloomy here....

Brent, way to go surviving the in-laws without drinking. Family can be such stressor and triggers for us alkies.

I hope everyone is having a good Monday.

Peace