Bottoms Part 123
 

The last part:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-122-a-21.html

Ha

And I slide into 2nd...like 2 hours later :lmao.

Tired from class... and Damon's BS again.

Class again tomorrow so I won't be around.

Take care peeps :ghug.

* I missed ya Scott :kiss:.

4 hours down time...whoah..what a gap!

King baby. :hug:

Still hoping and believing you will get your miracle soon.

ping))) ping)))) ping))))

IO throwing rocks into the cave...

Ricolaaaaaa!!







Ricolaaaaa!

There's a reason this place has an echo.

I have nothing good to say.At all.

Jules-sober.Unusual round here these days it seems.I doubt I'll be back for a while here.No point.

We don't shoot our wounded..anyone who trips up. You don't have to leave Jules,

maybe just take a break until you calm down.

I'm not leaving SR.

I've had enough of bottoms though.There's support?And then there's enabling.This has gone way too far and I don't want to be part of it.Sorry.

That's my boundary and I'm sticking to it for my sake.It's too hard for me to sit here and watch Stoney kill himself.If you can do that and hug and kiss him while he does it?Fine.I just can't.

I'm not mad at you Sherry.Actually-I'm not even mad at Stoney.But I am very angry with this disease and how it robs my friends of their lives.I've just had enough of watching the inevitable train wreck I guess.

I haven't been in Bottoms for a week..going through my own grief..I can't even talk

about on SR. Just saw this stuff..peace everyone.

Nights.

Sleep well Stoney..and please try to stop, matey.

In sobriety, we will lose many friends to this disease. It's always very hard and very sad. All we can do is strengthen our own resolve and keep those who fall in our hearts. Who knows what will help someone see the light and move towards it rather than continue to sink into the misery of drink.

For me, the best I can do is live my life as best I can. One of the things I really like about AA/NA is the moment of silence or prayer for those who still suffer.

I remember when I thought I was unreachable and unteachable. I don't recall the exact moment the shift happened and I finally knew I was done with the misery. It was subtle; certainly not a Damascus bolt of light.

Those who are struggling, please don't give up. It's worth the fight to be sober. I'll always keep you in my positive thoughts.

Love,

Lenina

I also find it hard to witness a friend who is in active addiction, but I don't find it helpful to make statements such as the above. Why is it being taken personally when Stoney drinks? It's not about you and it's not about me.

I don't see him starting a thread each time he relapses, looking for other members to blow smoke up his azz, telling him how wonderful he is, and to just keep trying! No, he does it here, privately, and one by one his friends leave. I've done it too, in an attempt to detach. I thought I was enabling him by posting here, but I may have been wrong. I don't know.

I do not think it is helpful to anyone to maintain an attitude of superiority based on your current sober state - or mine. That could change in an instant - and it has.

Bottom line - and this is my opinion only - if you don't wish to 'enable' then don't say anything at all. There is no need to shame our friends. Move on to other threads that you feel are more worthy of your time.

It's hard for me to watch when stone falls too. I care about him very much. He knows it. I don't think it's enabling to be supportive when he returns from a relapse.I think it's, well... supportive.

All I can do is maintain my own sobriety and hopefully living by example something might help him (or others that are still struggling).

I think Ro post was thoughtful and well put. I do understand where you're coming from too Jules.

As for me... I will continue to be here for stoney. With love and support even if I don't like it when he relapses. I know I can't change him... but I can love him. He will get it one of these days. I truly hope he does before it's too late.

This kind of infighting is why I left Bottoms. It does nobody any good.
We're all entitled to have our say.
Noones opinion is greater or more right than anyone elses here.

Accusations of superiority particularly irk me. I think that was very unfair.

I haven't given up on Paul and I don't think anyone else has.

I just have nothing left to say....nothing new anyway.
In the end it's down to Paul.

My choice is to leave him the space to decide what he wants to do.
If he wants my advice he knows where I am.

This all makes me quite sad.

ok...i'll give this a go.....

Stoney...you may not remember this today, but i told you so now i'll say it here....

Yes it hurts when you drink cause i care (hug)

I have my own isues and it really is silly how i start acting like someone drinks to hurt me..it's nt all about me.... It hurts to see someone drink againj...i have at least a half dozen people i consider myself close to who are drinking at the moment. I can go batty about it cause i have stuff i haven't worked out in myself.

I have some boundries i work on keeping with people drunk or sober...behavior i don't talorate...regardless of how sober or not another perosn is...

I don't know an answer for anyone else on this sobriety thing I'm sorry but i dont' believe any of us have an answer for others..I can be a sounding board and of course i'll spout my stuff sometimes i dress it up as esh when it's really just my opinion cause yep i'm human too.

I can't be there for every single person who comes to SR and I can't ALWAYS be there for the ones I want to be there for, but I guess i just do my best to be there for certain people....not cause they are special, not cause they are ones who'll get it, or who are "willing" enough or any of those othere things...I just know when i connect with some one a certain way i try to walk with them on the path. Cant walk the path for them just be there by their side.

I was one of the lucky ones ... i had people who were by my side through the drinking (course they took breaks, got angry at times, all that normal stuff humans do..) and through the sobriety and through all the others stuff....They tell me it was worth it, and i'm seeing its worth it to stay in others lives whether they are "making it" in sobreity or not....

The 25% the preface of the BB talks about means the world to me..probably cause i may be in that 25%...cause i don't know the future and my past is not that reassuring on that ...

guess i'm sorting this out here for me...been a real rough week with friends drinking and I don't know all the alanon talk well, but i do know that people continue to have relationships with people who have this disease (and aren't always in recovery) yet are still healthy themselves.

I gotta take care of me and my recovery, but I know that won't happen for me if i start putting walls up..to protect me from you or to protect you from me..

Anyways writing htis out helps me .. i'll read it again in a week or two and see what i think then cause i grow daily.

Well, I haven't been on bottoms in I don't know how long. I haven't been on SR actually much anymore. My recovery has been taking another path.

I do want to say that i still think of you all, and Stoney. I really do hope he finds his way back to sobriety. I too thought everyone was enabling him. So I don't know. We all learn new things everyday. Like I seen on another post, there is a lot of support on SR for newbies and for all of us that's been on here a while.

Stoney- Take care of yourself and i hope and pray you find your way back to us and get and stay sober. I'll pray for you. And like Dee said you know where to find me. That goes for everyone.

Much love to everyone :Val004:

Ro, you've achieved 10,000 posts! :eek:

I don't think that people being my friend is enabling me. I do understand how it is hard for people to watch this though. If you are my friend you are my friend whether I drink or not, nothing you do is enabling or not. If your friendship is contingent on whether I drink or not I am not your friend I am a project. If watching me do this is genuinely painful to you and you cannot witness it then I am really sorry, and I undestand.
I could just leave SR but how would that help? Like Ro said, I admit when I drink but I don't post threads about it, I don't ask for it to be validated.
I can only judge by what I would do, if I had a friend who couldn't stop....I would evaluate whether I truly cared about the person and if I did I would continue to be their friend, whatever.
Being a friend is not enabling.

Stoney..

I am learning a powerful lesson with my mother. This is not the grievous one I'm dealing

with..that I can't share openly yet.

My mom refuses to take her meds right..and eat right. She has bronchitis..and

chronic congestive heart failure. My sister and I went to get her antibiotics script

filled after waiting at the doctor's for hours..then the pharmacy. When we finally

got home..she wouldn't take the medicine..fearing it would interfere with her

"other medicine." I threw the pack on the table and said "I give up!"

I felt guilty..and detached immediately. I told her to take when she thought it was "safe"

to do so.

She is a stubborn old lady..but when she had a severe coughing fit a few hours later,

she got up from bed and said.."sherry.where is "that other medicine?"

My sister and I just smiled..and I had tears. I love her so darn much exasperating as

she is.

You see..I am powerless over her. I cannot make her eat right.

I can't make her take her meds right.

I've tried..I've tried anger..nothing has worked. But I have resolved that if this is

her last day...that she will have not heard mean things come from her daughter's

mouth towards her. Because of my own frustration.

I feel the same way about you..or anyone else who relapses.

I certainly am powerless Stoney.

You've got my support..when you need it.

Love you.

I second that emotion.

I forgot to mention Stoney:

That you are my friend and always will be rather your still drinking or not. I still hope you find your way back. I don't like worrying about you. Keep reading and posting on here. Try out my feelings thread on here, you can write down your feelings everyday.

We have a local girl I worry about. She always comes to the meetings drunk. I always give her a hug when I see her. She reminds me so much of me. She is so lost and scared just like i was. I pray she finds her way too and figures out that she doesn't deserve to be abused anymore.

My recent relapse reminded me of how powerless and ashamed I felt over it. I hope you can stop soon Paul. I love ya!:Val004:

Good to see ye still here Stoney

My opinion for what its worth, don't think that this thread is enough to make you stop drinking or make you start drinking, its something inside that either makes you want to start or makes you stay stopped and thats different for each of us.

I don't reckon that I have any different thoughts when it comes to drink then you do, the only difference is that I manage to not act on mine.

While I credit SR for helping me stop this time round, we don't actually know, maybe I'd have manged it this time on me todd, maybe its just my time, or maybe its not, I can only say for sure that I'll stay sober today.

Not really fair to pin blame to you, not like your on here bragging about it, if I was to relapse myself, I hope I'd have a better excuse then I was copying a bloke I only know through an internet recovery site to be honest.

Hope things work out mate

Yer a good man Fizz. :hug:

Headache and tired. I love yoga, I love my course but I am exhausted this weekend.


I'm too tired to lecture, or debate.

Just know that I care for you stoney. I can't do more than that.Yes, I am your friend regardless.

Still here babes...hope to see you around tomorrow.

Nights.

Hello Gyps.

Hope you feel better too, girl.