Bottoms Part 113
 

Here is the last part:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-112-a-20.html

:)

number 2!!!!!!
stone im right benind you!!!:c011:

:eek13: Stoney talking about me when I was not there! LOL tis okay! Yes you are
right I guess it is me that does not trust him, however Sher is right too his tone towards
me a lot as of late is giving me reason not too as well! Stoney yes I do deserve better so true thank you! And I know the terms of used towards friends etc....it probably is just me-I go down there to see him and we do not do much anymore-When I do not go down he is always going somewhere-I guess I can look at it this way at least he was honest and told me where he was going tonight! (Codie kicked in I guess)

Thanks Ma as well-

It is my issue because I guess he has so many that he is not facing from his past
and I know that is his choice and his issues but it is starting to drain me! I know that I need to do something about it and I will in time and when I'm ready too-

Thanks Guys :hug:

I'm 4th. Wow, how'd that happen?

I still didn't get my kitty yet. :c020: I hope i do tomorrow. A guy I know from AA is giving her to me. He said he's definitely gonna be home tomorrow. Let's hope. He's trying to talk me into getting 2 kittens. I don't know. It has it's positives and negatives with getting 2.

K- I don't know what they look like really. He has a couple of black/white ones. And 4 others I can't remember. There from 2 different litters. 2 are 4months old. And 4 of them are 2 months old. Decisions. Decisions. What to do.

Rella, yea Sher was right about the tone. And you do deserve better. :hug:

Feeling ok for someone that just woke up. I took some photo's of me last night....eek! I needed a shave and I have a huge double chin! Pffft!

I am in :c029:!

Too much to catch up on. Leaving for class in a few minutes so I can drop the carpet shampooer off.

Yep... I cleaned the office, dining room and hallway carpets last night even though we don't close until Tuesday. I picked it up on my way home from teacher training last night. Called my gf to come see the house and tell me how to use the thing. Came in and changed into old jeans. Looked for keys on my desk and couldn't find them. Innocently asked Damon where the keys were. He said he and the realtor went to check on the mouse situation and she took them since we shouldn't be in the house yet. I said wtf I told you I was cleaning the carpet tonight! He started freaking out saying I wasted money and to take it back to the store (roads were icy and snowy mind you). I was like nope... I'm going to get the keys from the realtor. He said to call. I sad no... she's going to give them to me so I'll just end up going anyway. He said it was too dangerous to drive (4 houses away). I went, she gave and my gf and her bf met me at the house and the three of us together couldn't get the thing to work. Gf's bf called my brother for help. My brother came with a long extension cord and figured it out. Apparently we were idiots and didn't follow the very clear directions on the big red label. After everyone left I happlily cleaned until 10pm. I was just going to clean MY side of the office but I broke down and did Damon's side as well.

After yoga this evening I'm taking the girls so they can clean the counter surfaces in the office and sun room while I sanitize the huge kitchen floor. If I can get around to doing the same in the bedrooms before 24 comes on tonight I will. That's my plan.

Off to teacher training now :slomo:.

Bye peeps :wave:.

I hate it when people don't follow the very clear directions on the big red label.

we love ya, rells :ghug3

like king babies ever follow directions .. :)

i think i'm going to go see "MILK" today. i need to get out of this house for awhile! snow everywhere. feeling shut in. must. see. people.

we live close to northwestern univ and they have a cool museum there. they do movie series sometimes, and they're doing music movies next. i'm pretty excited for that! gonna kick it off with "talking heads stop making sense" on wednesday :c011:

i say get them ALL!

Cabin fever Ma? I had it last night and went out after they plowed!

Gyps directions directions!

Stoney.....double chins come to most of us when we hit 35 plus! I lost so much
weight last September I actually lost in my face and everywhere else too but the double
chin managed to stay! :lmao

Ok Idiots cross your fingers ...going to see a condo to rent at a great price $900.00 a month! If I like it I have to see if the owner is willing to wait until Feb 15th for me to move when I come back from Florida! :) :bounce

Catch you Idiots later everyone have a great DAY!

Rells

I needed to log in and see my friends. I'm at the Injun's - stayed the night.

I had a weird experience last night. I have texted Tanho about this because I found myself feeling very vulnerable and fragile last night and this morning. I'm 41 years old guys, and I don't know what a healthy relationship looks like. This guy is very nice and he's cooking breakfast right now and singing along to Pearl Jam Live. But I wonder if my 'picker' really is broke, and whether God intends for me to be alone in my adulthood, because of all that happened in my past. Maybe I'm struggling and unable to accept the love of another because of God. Maybe he doesn't want me to feel love - and wants me to listen to the fear and to run.

I understand if this doesn't make sense. But .. I get triggered in intimate situations and last night was no exception. I have done a lot of crying. Wow what a way to start things off eh. Some Newfie. My people would be ashamed.

Besides my f2f friends, you guys are the closest people I have. I know I can be vulnerable and still be accepted and loved.

Thank you for that.

Everyone always says I'm beautiful. I want someone to look beyond that and to see my spirit, my soul. Anyone who has, mind you, I haven't accepted. I can't possibly believe that someone would want me for who I am, not WHAT I am.

I wanted to get fkd up last night. Wow. There's a lesson here, that's for sure. Anyone have any idea what I should do next? Yes, I will connect with my sponsor later on today.

Rowan....sorry i cn't help, but just wanted to let you know that i care and i get it...I think we are suppose to open our hearts not "protect ourselves...but lots say i'm wrong....take a chance to have a chance..to grow to learn etc.

But i am watching you cause someday i may need to know your expereinces to help me in my own life....others will advise...just share with me what you learn please (hug)

Thank you, Nands. Thank you. Just being heard helps.

my dearest newfie,

all i can do is hug ya, and pray that you'll be ok today. safe. :Val004:

does he know that you are in recovery? i can't recall how you met him, but i'm thinkin' it wasn't through your program.

i don't think anybody is "intended to be" anything. it's all our choosing, sweet lady.

maybe it's just not your day to choose?

i love ya, but you know that. k

oh, and one other thing - maybe try not to "overthink" it at this very moment. get with your sponsor/recovery friends first. even tho he may very well be a fine and caring man, they know ya better than this new guy does....

I do not envy your situation Rolo.

I've been married forever and sometimes I don't know what healthy looks like either. But I do most days. It's about love, caring and compassion. About not giving myself up for the other person.

I do not think that God intends for you to be alone for the rest of your life. It's about trusting and accepting love. You have to know that you are deserving of another's love for you. I know that you are deserving. Do you??

You can call me if you want to Rolo.

Enjoy the day and don't overanalyze it! (or however u speel it)

Morning bottoms!

Rowan, didn't you just meet this guy less than two weeks ago? Whoa, baby, how can they love your inner beautiful soul in such a short time, or you to get to really know him so that you could feel safe and comfortable?

Maybe slow yourself down a bit. It's a process. And he did cook breakfast with tunes, no?

Hoping you feel better in a few hours.

Hugs.

:ghug3

Sis :hug:

Connect with Sponsor..pronto.

First things first.

I can understand the crying, too. You just got dealt a hard blow at Christmas..

and this experience comes right on the heels of it.

You are still reeling. That's a lot of emotion to sort through.

Remember expectations.

We have to let go of them...sheeesh.

It's going to be okay..it will.

I love you Sis.

More and more hugs.

Sher