Class of July 2008 Part 5
 

Here's the last part:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-4-a-21.html

OMG....I thought I got us shut down in the last thread..... lol

I just thought the same thing DG!!!!!!!!!

Don't worry...we just hit 500! and you were FIRST.....:bday8

DG, If you had posted the PM'd answer you might have!

Then we would have to make the saucy wench walk the plank, now wouldn't we?

Hey, I'm Class of July .......... I quit following this thread or something and geez ....... y'all talk a lot. ;)

My costume requires hair extentions, a bikikin top and tight fitting flare bottom jeans :)

103 today and it's rainy and cold, bad gas-bill weather. At least the dogs snuggle up at night so I can turn the furnace way down. Am bored to death but just watching Star Trek, surfing the net, and reading here. I like doing this the best. It's least like being all alone.

Very exciting that next Sunday will be 15 weeks sober. It's getting easier and less painful to defeat cravings or urges to relapse. I have enough sober time now that I'm 'on a roll' and don't want to erase my good time. Am finally getting this sobriety thing down pat and don't want to do any damage. I like this record-setting. Sure beats the hell out of waking up feeling like sh!t every day.

Well, off to do some reading. Congrats to my classmates and welcome back to those who were gone for a while. Glad you're back!:ghug3

I'm guessing Hippie costume?

PaperDolls, you just happened to catch us on a chatty silly day. Glad to see you checking in.

OMG you guys do talk a lot!!!! I can't believe you wrapped that thread up so fast!!! :lmao

No one here offends me honest. I was just embarassed but after you all joined in with your stories (that never happened) I feel much better. Seriously though am I the only alkie/addict this class? Geez. Aren't I special?! :wtf2

I can't wait to see you girls in your Halloween customes! :Frankbride

BL understatement...

its the gift of gab thread! http://www.flatto.de/sml/diskutieren-02.gif

recovery comes in many forms...what can i say :):atv

As for the previous question of addictions, I am a recovering alcohol and pot user.

It was kind of a silly chatty day though.

Nearly an hour to go before starting day 104!! I can't believe I've come this far!

Bruce24 is also a recovering addict-if I remember correctly.(forgive me Bruce if I got this wrong!)I'm pretty sure tho.

Thank you for sharing your story Kathleen.I meant to pm you back today but it's been full on here at home and I haven't had a chance to check in today!Wow did the last 3 pages of our previous thread fly by or what?

It always helps me to read what others experience when they go back out.Not for any need of mine to read 'war stories' as such-but because it reminds me of how I was too-and could be again.

I appreciate it takes some humility to post about what happened and I'm grateful to you all who shared about it. It doesn't change how I think of anyone either-I always thought you were completely nuts-LOL (kidding, kidding) :lmao

I'm really busy this weekend with work so forgive me for not posting/pm-ing much.I'll check in as I can!

Love to all of you!

Julesxox

bostonluv, does your doggy always have his tongue out?

Morning all :wave:

Well it's the morning of day 3 here, yesterday was hard, started feeling better physically which as allways turns into, "oh maybe a little one won't hurt." Urggg I just hate the way this addiction tries to make you forget so quickly exactly what it is like. From past experience I am expecting today to be full of cravings aswell, day 3 has allways been the hardest for me to get past, but I know it gets better after that so I am not going to drink today no matter what!


Slutty pirates, sexy orcs? I thought I had quit playing world of warcraft :D


I can't do the sexy costume for Halloween, it's my daughters birthday so I need to be dressed appropriately for 8 years olds lol. Your party's sound more fun though lol.

Sax

The end of a friday night. Zero chance of a hangover on Saturday morning. Ahhhh, one of the best things about sobriety.

Least, you are doing great!


Since I asked the question, here is my full disclosure:

Alcohol is THE problem drug.

Pot off and on, sometimes going for years in either of those conditions. Absolutely none of that going on now.

Tried various other things to see how they were, but thankfully never got even remotely close to serious.

Got up to a pack a day of cigarettes for a couple years at about age 18. No more of that nasty stuff.

No intention of quiting chocolate :)

Warning. Warning. Possible TMI alert:
All that sexy slutty flirty talk is how my wife and I talk with friends in front of each other so I'm not doing anything behind her back that we don't do in front of each other. I've mentioned having issues in our marriage, but that's not one of them. In fact, tonight she did get the benifit of all that talk. :salook: Hey, you can't say I didn't give you the TMI warning. And no, I wasn't thinking of candy corn and pirates at the time, although my wife is a complete Pirates of the Caribbean freak and she loves candy corn. Go figure.

Good Morning :)

I've promised myself I am going to be honest if I participate in this forum so here goes...I drank last night :( Four beers...I feel like CRAP! I could've kept on going, but somehow I managed NOT to ask DH to go out for more beer. It wasn't even enjoyable. I felt GUILTY the WHOLE time. Totally ditched all my evening responsibilities. Had a crappy night sleep. My dreams were crazy...all people I didn't know except for my two little ones...and all revolving around alcohol. Different scenes involving things that never happened with people I did not know, but similiar to real experiences in the past...if that makes any sense. My head hurts, I feel like I'm going to spontaneously combust and my house is a wreck. No stories to share, but total regret and feeling like crap.

WARNING: Long rant...emptying my head...

joinedintime's question about whether alcohol is the exclusive addiction is a good one. I would say that I have many "addictive" behaviors right now, but probably none that the average person would say are harmful. I am really struggling with my life right now. Before I get into that, I want to share my personal situation with alcohol and what I believe about myself. I think alcohol stinks for anyone. It's bad for your health...your mind and your body...period. I do believe that given the right situation in my life, I could go back to that period in my life where my drinking was considered "safe and normal", but I don't want to. It appeared "safe and normal", but looking back, as I shared yesterday, I can see how it affected me physically and emotionally back then as well. It just wasn't as "obvious". I may have not been drinking during the week, but my weekends (at least one a month) were being sabotaged and I'm certain the effects had a lot to do with how I functioned during the week...emotionally and physically. So regardless of whether I can abstain from drinking daily, fix my life and get back to that place where I COULD drink socially, I KNOW it's not good for me. I hope that all made sense. I sort of see myself standing on the edge of "The Cliff of Alcoholism" and not EVER wanting to jump, but having a real hard time walking away from the edge...does that make sense? Probably not. Since it's progressed to daily, I am probably more like HANGING on the edge, not wanting to let go, but not trying my HARDEST to climb out. All of this to say, I don't want to drink anymore...period. I see it's always been a deception. I'm having a real hard time breaking several behaviors in my life right now that are contributing to my drinking...Here goes.

First off, I am struggling with my identity. I am a 36 yo SAHM who went to college and had a career before having children. I had a very "me" focused life prior to having my children. I took very good care of myself. I have a great husband. I am in love with the IDEA of being a SAHM mom, but in reality, it just sucks. I am lonely and isolated. If I don't play with my children, I feel guilty all the time because, that is after all, why I am at home, right? We are financially drowning. My children were TERRIBLE sleepers so I became ADDICTED TO CAFFEINE first. I am not kidding when I tell you this...it took FIVE years for us to have good night sleep. Now my sleep is not restful. I get stressed out bringing my children to the grocery store so we went from being very healthy eaters to take-out several nights a week. Unless I get up at 5am to workout (YOU GO dancingirl!), it isn't happening. I used to work out DAILY. All this to say I am now 20 pounds overweight. None of my clothes fit and money is tight so I walk around looking like a slob all the time. I use to wear designer suits and feel fabulous everyday. So I feel depressed, overwhelmed, isolated and lonely. I then became ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET. I became ADDICTED TO A COMPUTER GAME which is totally out of character for me. The ALCOHOL ADDICTION came last. The first drink of the day made me relax. Things weren't as bad as I thought. No life was good. Keep drinking. See I can be happy? Never during the day, only at night when DH is home. So this turns into late evenings...bad sleep. No getting up at 5am to exercise. More coffee. Less energy. No healthy food. Poor self-esteem. No friends. Lonliness. Isolation. Depression. Now I am ADDICTED TO LAZINESS. The alcohol wasn't the cause of all of this, but it sure put the nail in the coffin. And now that it has been established as another bad habit/addiction, it no longer gives me the "good feelings". It's the worst best friend I've ever had.

So, all this sharing to say that I have formed several bad habits/addictions whatever you want to call them that I am having a hard time breaking myself of. All of the things hightlighted/capped, are things that I am using out of habit/comfort, but are contributing to self-destruction. I am WASTING MY LIFE because I am avoiding the feelings of discomfort that come with hard work and change. Not on purpose...I just don't have any energy. I am exhausted and depressed and just need to get off this wheel. You would think that after running on this wheel so long, I would just fall off or get flung off and all would be well.

Thanks for listening to my rambling...
~M

breakfree....ok, hope it's alright for me to post a long one on this thread....

First....I went through the alchohol is but a symptom of the problem, so if I fix myself..my real problem I could drink again....My expereince for me is it is down right wrong.....that said, I would save that problem for another day...today the focus might be better on I want to be sober now, and I need to change.

I wanted to quit drinking and kept drinking for 7 or 8 long years. Part of what happened for me when i did finally get sober was the realization that I was not who I was. At first it was crushing...I had been drinking and clinging to the idea that I was still who I was so hard...I really didn't want to let it go.

I had been an inspiring VERY respected person in my career field...a leader and mentor relied on by many people. I was the model of the independant single mom woman....I can't really explain it, but I had a very strong definition of who I was and I LIKED it.

When I finally put down the bottle I had to accept that maybe I wasn't who I use to be .... I was clinging to self and it was killing me. I decided to open up to who I could be now.

I am still well respected in my field, but I am no longer the "go to" girl...I have a different role today. I was never a good mom before, but today I am. I just have different purposes in life at this point...and I remember at least so far...that Who I Am will change moment by moment and clinging to who i was will ruin my life.

Things get better when I am sober, but they get better in different ways than I guess I wanted them or expected them to..sobriety doesn't take me back to the past glories...it takes me forward to new ones.

sorry to be such a philosopher but it just came out that way today! And yeah...deal with the if i get well i could drink socially thing another day.