HI Kyle.

You are so right. This is not healthy. For your own mental and physical health, you must find something else to focus on. You are in a stinking situation, no doubt about it. However, you are still alive. You still have the choice to have a life. You have to find a way to work around this. I say this in kindness because I know it has to be very hard.

I hope your doing good today.

Just wanted to reply. I am going to stay out of that despair pit.

I will be OK.

Hi Kyle,

You may get more responses if you post in the Newcomers section. I hope you’re doing a little better today.

Ya thanks but I don't think anyone subjected to lifetime driving revocation is in the newcomers section as they destroy all hope of recovery and returning to a normal life.

I hate to say it but this system wants us dead. Seen it so many times in my 6 years of recovery people on the right track doing well and they have the system on there back impending court date, threat of jail and they go out and drink/use to get relief.

I was all in on recovery, I probably been to 5 years times 365 lets say 1500 AA meetings.

I got the news lifetime revocation and I stopped going to AA. Not as an act of rebellion or something I just dont want to hear it, the stories of other people what it was like , 6 Duis and what it is like now a new life and all that behind them cause its never going to be behind me I am going to be punished every day for the rest of my life for fewer DUI then most people at AA

I miss it the fellowship of AA but it triggers me, triggers my anger hearing everyone else with the same past gets to recover to a normal life and I don't.

I am not superman. Mother Teresa or some saint its too much for me.

All I feel is hate. I am done screwed forever. My life is blood sugar and finding a ride.

tHEY TOLD ME LIFETIME REVOCATION IS NOT A PUnshment.

Well my suicde was not a payback it was just my way of not living the daily pain.


FU this ******* world unfair world FU

I am going to be dead soon as a direct result of this

FU

all the people who said "I am soory this happened to you" and did not help me.

This thread is my suicide note.

What was my thinking ?

I drank cause I always felt different from other people.

Now I really am the guy who cant drive can never have a normal life.

well its over FU

Drinking till Ia am dead.

thats where I am goloing now to get more drunk till I am dead

Suicide is kind of a payback.'


All the people that claim to care about me just watch this destroy me and did not get angry.

All the people who saw me recover from alocoholism and start a new life.

They just watch and say "I am sorry this happened to you"

No anger ne action no backup

so watch me die now. see you in hell

I hope you stop drinking and call some numbers Kyle

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html

This is unsolicited advice but I'm gonna give it anyway

If getting my license back was important to me, I'd take on a lawyer no matter how grim they told me the outlook was.

I'd see a psychiatrist to get a measure of how much this has affected your mental health. Get them to document that.

I'd get references from[people who know you and are willing to vouch for your good character.

I'd also be very careful about I posted on the internet here and elsewhere cos you never know it may come into play one day.

If you can't move on from this (and that's not a criticism, but an observation) then you should fight for what you believe is right.

You can only do that if you're here to fight.

D

Hey Kyle - one of my favorite names!

I signed up just to respond to you. Maybe you are blowing this thing a little out of proportion? Millions of people don't drive. I can drive, I choose not to because the insurance is way too high - better to take mass transit. I take the subway, bus,, Uber. I don't ever want another car. Maybe just move forward. I am pretty sure I wouldn't kill myself over a car. It's a car - you can get around without it.

I truly am sorry this has happened to you, but honestly, it is not the end of the world. I know you don't want to hear it, but there are folks out there who have it way worse than you do, but still manage to get where they need to be. They manage to get through life by making changes and figuring out how they are going to do what needs to be done.

If you suffered some type of accident and lost your right leg or were in some other way physically unable to drive, would you contemplate suicide over it? Driving a car is not the end all and be all. You can still have a normal life, you will just have to make some changes. It is seriously no reason to drink yourself to death.

We understand you are very angry about losing your license, and yes, that does sound like an unfair punishment, but get an attorney and fight it. Put your energy into trying to actually do something about it instead of just giving up and drinking yourself into oblivion. No one wants you dead, Kyle.

If you are watching a discovery channel special about Yellowstone park and say I would like to go there you can go to airport rent car and enjoy yourself. Me I am in the same trap as soon as I get there.

I am type one diabetes. I got to follow this diet. Cost me $20 to get to the supermarket or ride my damn bike.

Doctor visit is $70.

Pushing 50 YO put an ad on a dating site and ask who wants a 50 old diabetic man who can never use a car again ??

They killed every hope and dream I ever had.

Yes I can get around without it. I can uber around.

That was my reward for 6 years sober doing all the right things the state comes and retroactively kills every hope of a normal life again.

Every person I meet asks why don't you drive ?

Do I lie to everyone or tell them I am one of those monsters society hates, people who get DUIs ?

Thats cool you signed up for this website for me and I won't make the mistake come at you with anger, done that here before, but you can't get it unless your living it. Outside observers cant get it.

I drank like many people did, cause I felt not part of, different from everyone else.

Now I really am different from everyone else, I am the diabetes guy who can't drive wile all the other men my age go out and get stuff done, I am always stuck.

I will never be happy the metro lifestlye. Some people like it but its not me. I don't want to pay an uber 20 to get a light bulb at home depot.

This was a vicious evil doing this to me 6 years into my recovery retroactively.

Never lost my leg in an accident so I don't know.

I had a doctor walk into my hospital room and say type 1 diabetes multiple daily injections and like textbook if you search 'stages of grief chronic illness' I went through them all till acceptance.

The retroactive increasing the punishment years later driver licence thing was done to me by vicious human beings.

A small child knows enough about right and wrong to know increasing punishment from what it was after breaking the rule is wrong.

6 years ago you were late for class. Well we just increased the punishment 100 times and are applying it to you. a small child even old knows thats wrong.

My life was ruined by callous indifferent vicious human beings, much different then an illness.

If the punishment was lifetime when I did it I could kick myself in the ass. They increased it from a year to lifetime years later. Years after I went back to driving and started a whole new sober life.

If you are watching a discovery channel special about Yellowstone park and say I would like to go there you can go to airport rent car and enjoy yourself. Me I am in the same trap as soon as I get there. Take an Uber to the airport (lots of people who can drive do this). Fly to Yellowstone. Use Uber or public transportation to get around and enjoy your vacation. Yes, it is a bit more expensive, but you can still have your vacation.

I am type one diabetes. I got to follow this diet. Cost me $20 to get to the supermarket or ride my damn bike. There are delivery services for groceries. I use one myself since I now physically have a hard time grocery shopping. Most have free delivery if you make an order of $35.00.

Doctor visit is $70. Would be the same if you drove there.

Pushing 50 YO put an ad on a dating site and ask who wants a 50 old diabetic man who can never use a car again ?? A lot of people have diabetes and a lot of people use Uber on dates.

They killed every hope and dream I ever had. No, they really didn't.

Yes I can get around without it. I can uber around. Exactly!

That was my reward for 6 years sober doing all the right things the state comes and retroactively kills every hope of a normal life again. Again, get an attorney and fight it.

Every person I meet asks why don't you drive?

Do I lie to everyone or tell them I am one of those monsters society hates, people who get DUIs ? You can tell them whatever you want, but it's really none of their business.

Thats cool you signed up for this website for me and I won't make the mistake come at you with anger, done that here before, but you can't get it unless your living it. Outside observers cant get it. There are people here who are more than just observers, Kyle.

I drank like many people did, cause I felt not part of, different from everyone else. A lot of us felt that way, and we also drank until we realized that alcohol isn't the solution to anything.

Now I really am different from everyone else, I am the diabetes guy who can't drive wile all the other men my age go out and get stuff done, I am always stuck. You are not stuck. You can go out and get stuff done, too. You just need to change the way you do it.

I will never be happy the metro lifestlye. Some people like it but its not me. I don't want to pay an uber 20 to get a light bulb at home depot. If you were wheelchair bound or had some other physical inability to go to Home Depot for a light bulb, would you drink yourself to death over it?

This was a vicious evil doing this to me 6 years into my recovery retroactively. Again, use all the energy you are wasting by drinking and feeling sorry for yourself, and fight it.

My original intention was fighting. I need to find the other people.

Sometimes I have ideas that make total sense to me but then I run them by other people just to make sure.

Its my belief that the other several thousand of people they did this retroactive thing too to have a suicide and overdose rate that far exceeds any other demographic.

Lets not kid around here alcoholism and addiction is deadly. I have dead peoples numbers in my phone. I feel guilty deleting them. Any of us that been around recovery for any length of time knows people who are no longer with us.

There can not be any other result but an increase in suicide and over dose if you add the burden on the resentment of lifetime retroactive revocation on a person who already suffers alcoholism/addiction and the mental issues that always goes with it.

I am an angry and resentful SOB I hate the state but I am not all self centered. I am not the only one they are destroying.

I am not that special, I am not the only one subjected to ex post facto lifetime revocation that wakes up at 4 am cant go back to sleep pondering WTF do I do with my life now ?

No way everyone else moved on to acceptance somehow.

Maybe I am different the way I hate them take it personal but the impact of lifetime retroactive driver licence revocation impacts peoples lives.

Is my thinking flawed, is the suicide and overdose rate among people subjected to this lifetime retroactive licence revocation not almost certainly higher then any other group ?

Going to meetings is 10 times harder, seeing the doctor, job , relationship every aspect of life in todays motorcar society 10 times harder.

Even people who don't over think everything like I do many of them must think why get sober they are never giving my driver licence back anyway so whats the point. Even if they don't intellectualize it at all the added stress, isolation, hopelessness and depression.

It can't just be me, I am not that special. I am not unique.

No I would hang out with other people in wheel chairs.

With me my legs still work and I have the system forcing me to be handicapped. Inflicting the handicap. That comparison is not valid.

9 years in recovery never met a single person subjected to this lifetime retro active revocation. Never ever met anyone 6 years into recovery they retroactivly rip away their new life.

I am completely alone in this.

If those people were in wheelchairs only because the state said ex post facto they are not allowed to walk anymore they would hate them as much as I do.

If we catch you walking you will be kidnapped (arrested) and extorted by the state...

People wheelchairs would hate them as much as I do.

Sure it is. Regardless of how they became unable to drive a car, they still found other ways of going places and doing stuff. They manage to lead full, happy productive lives because they didn't allow their handicap beat them down.

It is glaringly apparent that your hatred of the State is what you are focusing on instead of accepting that, right now, you need to find other ways to get around. You don't like those options, but if you want to get from point A to point B, you are going to have to find a way to do that.

In the meantime, find an attorney and fight this thing. You don't have to wait to find others who have suffered the same situation. If it is worth fighting for, then fight alone if you have to.

Kyle, many people have diabetes and take mass transportation. My best friend has Stage 4 Cancer, works 40 hours a week and takes the bus everywhere.

You really need to find some way to move on from this obsession about losing your license. Just my opinion, but the idea of finding other people to fund some kind of study about a correlation between not being able to drive and suicide is a no-go. Millions of people don't drive and don't commit suicide. You seem like such a smart person, but you really need to move on with your life. There are plenty of people who use mass transportation who have illnesses. I am one.

They murdered the future I would have had and replaced it with daily depression isolation and hardship.

Its not valid comparing me to a person in wheelchair.

They are in wheelchair because of nature not threats from their fellow man.

You are right I should try and do better then I am doing.

This wheelchair comparison is not valid. I accepted diabetes and multiple daily injections. Like the legs person wheelchair my beta cells are never growing back. I get that.

My diabetes is not inflicted by people I never met who never met me never looked me in the face. It just happened.

Accepting retroactive punishment is not an easy thing. I don't think I ever will.

My feelings are not invalid or illogical at all. I had my whole life back 6 years later they destroyed it. Lifetime revocation was my reward for doing all the right things for 6 years.

F them, they can go to hell.

They inflicted it on me retroactively.

My hatred and other feelings are not illegitimate.

I can't just make them go away.

So easy for outside observers just say suck it up and move on. They murdered the future I was going to have and replaced it with daily depression and hardship.

They can go to hell.