Finally Ready to Kick The Habbit
 

New here, have had problems with weed since my late teens. Used to smoke everyday until my mid 20s, then gave it up, with intermittent relapses. Then the last four years I’ve gone back to using, stupidly convincing myself that it would help my anxiety rather than making it worse.

The last few years I have been in a viscous cycle where I use cannabis when I’m not in a bout of anxiety, i start over using and wind up back in a massive anxiety hole. I quit when I’m really anxious, but when I’m feeling better I convince myself it will be fine and start again. Then when I inevitably end up anxious I blame myself for being so stupid.

The last week has been really tough, back to constant worrying, not sleeping and feeling sick. The positive is that I really think that this time I can quit for good. Just wish I didn’t feel so terrible, and I just want to get back to the old me. I have a loving and supportive partner, but feel like I keep letting her down.

This is my seventh day clean. Still feeling anxious and low, but I threw the rest of my weed away today, and I know it’s just symbolic, but it still made me feel like I was taking back control.

Hello to everyone!

Welcome, Ronantian. :)

Weed was not my particular poison but I wanted to welcome you to the site and support your decision to take back your one precious Life.

Thank you, appreciate it.

Welcome Ronantian :)

The first week was rough for me but it got better after that :)

A week is great - congrats- and throwing away your stash is a great statement of intent.
Think about throwing away any paraphernalia too, if you haven’t already.

Draw a line in the sand :)

Thanks Dee, I’m finding the lack of sleep really hard. I’m taking antihistamines for sleep, but still not getting much and my anxiety is much worse in the morning. But a full week clean and no intention of going back. I should take some pride from that.

Sleep will come naturally, or at least it did for me. I got a little bit more sleep each night.

D

Welcome on SR Ronantian

I was wondering lately if smoking weed would be ok since I can't drink alcohol anymore.
Your post gave me a very clear answer so thanks!

Courage in your journey, things will improve I'm sure.

Thanks Koala. If you’re prone to addiction or poor mental health, I would not recommend weed. It has hurt me more than anything else in my life. Struggling today with anxiety, but more sure than ever that it’s the right decision to quit

I have morning anxiety too, Roanantian. Even at eight years sober I have it. I've had this all my life even as a little kid so it's some biological "thing" and I haven't found an answer for why other than possibly just high cortisol in general. It usually goes away in a few minutes after getting up and starting into my routine. Lowering general life stress seems to help.

Good job, hang on, you're doing the right thing.

Just admitted my addiction to friends on Facebook. Feel stupid, but I just didn’t want it to be a secret anymore.

Hm. Not sure I'd have taken that step.

Are you sure it won't come back to bite you? There is a lot of stigma attached to addiction. Is your facebook account locked down so outsiders can't view your posts?

Do you trust everyone on your feed to be discreet? Is pot legal where you live? It is here, but there's still a stigma.

What about how that disclosure might affect your family or significant other?

I've deleted posts on facebook after I've posted them. I'm glad that I did.

I made the post private. I trust my friends there and they have all been really supportive. I’m glad I did it.

Glad your here, lots of support and accountability here.

we welcome you!

Well done Ronantian - these first few days are hard when giving up something you have addicted to - but soon those days become a week then weeks.... Posting regularly here helped me enormously.

Thanks, I want this place to be a record of how long I’ve stayed off it. Everyone is so nice and encouraging

Welcome to the forum Ronantian, and especially to the marijuana section. You sound determined and that’s an awesome start. Keep posting updates, we’ll be here for support :)

Thanks FDM, I’m still clean and have no intention using. Anxiety is still here but slightly better than yesterday.

good to hear Ronantian :)
D

Hi!! And welcome!! It's good to have some company here!

If you're like me you may look around at the relative lack of activity, at the increasing momentum of legalization, at the western world's glorification of weed and at all the messaging about it being "medicine" and you find that to be challenging in your efforts to free yourself from it. I know that weighed on me and made for a powerful deterrent to success. But, I kept at it and after a good solid year of trying, I feel as though my feet are on solid ground and I'm picking up speed in moving away from it.

I wish you strength and peace and focus - keep coming back here, keep talking, sharing, thinking about what you can do TODAY, RIGHT NOW, to shore up your defenses against the mental challenges of getting away from weed. I've found it to be pretty darn insidious and interwound with my brain circutry.

But....

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

the best way to take away the darkness is to shine a light on it.

good call, and well done!