OK, so I'm at Day 6 currently.

Since the previous post I've smoked some more and then stopped. I hope to stay that way.

This last relapse was ... scary I guess ? It was kind of OK in the beginning and then oh boy ... there are some things that happened which I regret - but maybe they happened for a reason.

For anyone thinking about relapse - don't.
I didn't find anything new ... just the same thing, but - worse.

It got bad quite fast - I was smoking first thing in the morning and then throughout the whole day. I called sick on work, because I just couldn't do anything. I embarrassed myself big time in front of my significant other. And the list goes on and on. I also managed to **** up other things that were quite important for me.

And all that for a relatively short time (although when smoking times just flies).

Currently I'm trying to get back to where I was before smoking and everything else I did.

Still feeling quite tired and etc. Mood is down big time. But ... I must go forward and forward.

I feel disappointed in myself, but also proud that I'm back on the road.

Funny/ironic thing is that for a moment I thought I'm able to moderate. Because I was able to smoke for 2-3 days and then stop for 1-2 weeks and smoke again for couple of days then stop again.

To be honest - on this last relapse I don't think ... there was pretty much nothing that I can say was better on weed .. still I smoked and smoked.

Still I'm afraid I might smoke again some time in the future.

Thank you for your continuous support!
You're great! :You_Rock_

Hey Teodor, relapses suck, for sure. I guess the best thing is to learn from it.
I said this earlier on someone else's thread - Remember how bad you felt for screwing up, the embarrassment and regret next time you want to toke or come back and read this post. We addicts tend to forget.
I think we all fear relapse. Not sure how long one has to be sober before that feeling goes away.
Glad you are back. I would recommend daily (or more often) checking in here.
What steps have you taken to help you stay quit this time?

Man your posts remind me EXACTLY of me. You say the exact things that happen to me with pot! I am currently on day 1 but this feels like a reall ymore committed day one. I will make my own post but in short- threw away a huge bag of it last night.
I too thought I would be able to moderate- I took three days off, got some , smoked for two days, then gave it to my husband to take away- managed 2 days off- then the last 2 days back on. And in the last 2 days ALL I did was smoke, over eat, sleep, smoke, over eat, sleep-- just on and on. Ate like 5 times more than I need. I felt like a huge consumption mouth- just taking it in and in and never getting satisfied and so WASTED from being stoned. Day one is hard as **** and I am jonsing all day long but at some point I have to stick with it.

Good job on Day 6 Teodoro--- you can do this!! Just remember that the po gives us ultimately LESS joy, Less peace, etctera.

Good to see the both of you back Teo and Windytown :)

D

Teo, I know it's probably cliche at this point, but just worry about not smoking today. Nobody knows what's going to happen in the future, and pondering whether or not you'll ever smoke again is quite useless to do at this point. If you can make it through six days, you can make it through seven.

Keep at it man.