AND she contacted our local drug task force. They will be coming to my house to do a sweep to get any and all illegal substances removed from my house and documented without involving child protective services. What a relief!

thank you for being so brave and courageous. i am so glad you got the proper level of concern and response!!! what a relief it will be when they sweep the house and then you KNOW it's clean and safe.

It sounds like you have a great attorney. I know I spent so much time waiting and waiting for my ex to do something about his addiction, that when I finally took action and spoke to an attorney, it was very empowering. It felt like I was taking back control of my life and that's exactly what you're doing. It is a bit of a roller coaster ride, so remember to reach out for support anytime you need it.

Update: I'm still waiting to see if the judge will grant my emergency order of protection. Hopefully, it will be done today and served today. I also heard from the drug task force. They are going to wait to come to my home until I know about the restraining order. If the AH were to find out I had them there, I could be in danger.

Everything is such a waiting game at this point. He is still in our house, and I have no way to get him out for the time being. This past weekend was pure torture as he is starting to realize that something is going on. He went back and forth from crying that he needed help to berating me for being a judgmental person that looks down my nose at him for his issues. Last night, I was so exhausted and started second guessing my decision to leave. This morning I looked in his little hiding place that he doesn't know I have found, lo and behold, I found another meth pipe. It certainly helped open my eyes again.

Thank you all for your continued support and prayers. Your words of advice and understanding are truly helping me stay the path.

He is not going to stop, regardless of how much he is crying.

Is there any family you could stay with until the judge orders? I hate to say this, but while he is feeling sorry, could you get him to agree to leave?

A step at a time. Hugs.

Oh he has already turned into vindictive again. Now he is saying that me not accepting him and his "issues" (he refuses to call it addiction because he can stop at any time) would be the same as if he hadn't stuck by me when I had cancer or leaving me because I have gained weight. I do have family I could go stay with, but I worry more about my kids. I'm afraid me leaving will inflame the situation more, and he will go check the kids out of school or something as pay back. Without that order, I can't stop him from doing that and I can't miss work again or my 7 year old miss school. The police officer I talked to today said he would be more than happy to go to my house while the AH is there to get that stuff. He said if he could get him to admit the stuff is his, he would arrest him. More than likely he would never admit it and probably try to say it is mine or our sons. I feel like I'm in limbo until something happens!

Almost a year later...
 

Here I am almost a year later. This last year has been brutal to say the least. I have maintained my order of protection. I am currently still waiting to be granted a divorce. In the meantime, my hopefully soon to be ex AH has been arrested for felony possession of meth and felony possession of paraphernalia. He has been arrested 3 different times for violating the order of protection. He has failed several hair follicle drug tests. He was allowed some supervised visitation with our 2 youngest children, but he acted so irrationally with the couple who volunteered to be our facilitators (for free even) that they stepped down. He didn't even attempt to contact our oldest child for over 8 months. He has been with so many different women that I have lost count. In other words, he has just continued down the path of addiction. I look back over the last 10 months and feel so grateful to all of you that gave me love and advice in my first post here. As crazy as my life has been since the split, I cannot even begin to fathom what it would have looked like if we were still together.

In the midst of his slide, my life has started looking up. I realized that not only can I do this alone, but I AM doing a great job. Some days are much harder than others, but each day gets a little easier. My children have settled into this life that allows them to be free to express themselves without fear and to not feel as if they have to walk on egg shells all the time. Without the weight of drug addiction in the house, I have become a better mother, daughter, sister, and friend. The friends that I lost touch with due to my shame of the situation have returned better than ever. Not everything is sunshine and lollipops, but it is far better than it has been for the last 10 years or so. I am still having to deal with his craziness from a distance. We have a final divorce hearing set for next week, and I hope to fully be able to move on with my life at that point. I'm sure that I will be back for more advice and support in the future as I continue to deal with this situation, and I hope that I can offer support and advice in return. What a learning experience this has been!

So to all of my supporters on here, a huge thank you and much love to you all. I could not have survived this far without you all!
:You_Rock_ :thanks :You_Rock_ :thanks

So very proud of you, for your courage and your changes.

Thank you for the positive, inspiring update!

What an amazing post!

I remember when this thread started. It's so encouraging to see how far you've come. My STBXAH has also continued down the path of addiction, and I am so, so glad I no longer have a front row seat to it. I just can't imagine what my life would be like now if I had given him that "one more" chance he was begging for.

Blessings to you!

I agree with Hechosedrugs. Such an amazing post! It's so empowering to read about the positive changes and accomplishments in your life. You are such a brave and strong woman. You did what was best for you and the kids and it was all worth it. Even though my situation is different than yours, reading about your journey gives me hope about that I might feel good and experience positive things in my life too, with time of course.

Thank you for this post 💜:c011:

Great post, good for you for being so strong and courageous. Thank you for the update!