Struggling with NC - he reached out to me
 

I have been doing very well with not reaching out to my AH. As hard as it has been, I have stayed away. He sent me a text a couple of hours ago (2 am my time) asking me to come over for, well, in his words "carnal purposes only." I didn't reply, but I was so tempted. Worst of all, I was tempted to take him up on his offer. But then I remembered why I went NC...I am not strong enough to be around him and maintain boundaries. I can't do it. At least not at this time.

My questions is this - do I respond at all? Just to say that I want to but I can't? And I think I already know in my heart what the answer is, but I need support on this one. I miss him terribly, but I think any contact right now would just rip that wound wide open again and send me in the wrong direction.

Thanks everyone -
HB

Honey, you've answered your own question. Any contact will suck you back in, and then you have to go through all the pain of detaching again.
I suggest you don't respond, because you'll just be giving him incentive to keep going. Instead, block him. This will guard you against being tempted and disturbed.

surely you are worth more than a booty call.

No Contact means "no contact." None. As for why you are doing this, read your own post of 8/24.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...eeping-nc.html

AnvilheadII - Yup, I'm worth more than a booty call.

FeelingGreat - great advice...I know that I would get sucked back in if I had any contact. And I can't block him because of our phone plan - went to the phone store this morning. But I can put a filter on which is almost as good.

doggonecarl - How can I argue with that :) And thanks to you, I decided to write myself list of all the "wrongs" that he committed, and keep it with me at all times. That way when I am feeling nostalgic, I can whip that paper out and read it all over again. Why is it that we so easily let go of the bad stuff, but the good stuff seems to linger? I would like to have my entire memory of him erased - good and bad.

And I didn't respond to him, so I'm happy about that - I just wish it didn't hurt so much. I'm working on re-establishing friendships, attending al-anon meetings daily and generally trying to get back out into the world.

He sent me a second message this morning, claiming that he must have sent me a text in his sleep, and that he was sorry for sending something so inappropriate. So glad I didn't respond. Nothing good can come from it. I just need reminding once in a while. Old patterns are very, very hard to break.

HB

Good work on staying strong!

It’s these kind of life lessons that are throw at us that we need to take the opportunity to grow.

You love this man, you miss this man terrible and were seriously considering replying to his request for a ***** at 2AM.

Now is the time to be asking yourself why? And what’s the glue that is keeping you so stuck on someone who has reduced you to “***** status.”

atalose: Yes - this exactly! I worked with my al-anon sponsor today and got back in with my old therapist. I can't believe it myself...certainly not the woman I was even a few years ago. But only a little distance gives you the clarity to see how crazy it all really was. I got used to the chaos and feeling as though I was the one at fault for everything.

It is amazing how sick we can be and we don't even know it. All I can do is keep working towards sanity, one step at at time.

HB

I am very proud of you for taking those important steps to help yourself!!! way to go!!!!!
((hugs))

Honey, so glad you posted. You're getting stronger every day.

Staying NC says "I am a human being. Not a piece of tail".

He's so full of poop lol

I admire you for sticking to your guns!!!