Once upon a time..... I fell in love with a man who didn't love himself. I was naive and thought I could love him enough for the both of us. I thought my love could save him. I would show him what he could not see for himself. I was going to win this battle, at all costs, never realizing it wasn't mine to fight. How could he not see what I could? Why weren't his priorities the same as mine? We had plans, dreams and a great life together or so I believed. But underneath it all, there was a deep, dark secret that I refused to acknowledge. I was in denial because that's where I was comfortable. I couldn't face the truth because I didn't like my options. Today, my soon to be ex husband will be coming with movers to take his share of our life together. Next week, I will have my own movers here to take the rest. At times, I feel sad but mostly I feel relieved. I look forward to my future and rebuilding my life. I feel confident that God has something awesome waiting for me, in HIS time. My life with him is over, history (his-story) because I allowed it to be all about him. I am excited to find my own story now and let it be all about me. This insidious disease crept in and took so much. But in so many ways, I feel blessed because I have learned some valuable lessons that I will never loose and made some wonderful friends. I am stronger then I knew and I feel more confident then I have in years. I am letting go of him, letting go of his addiction and setting us both free. For that, I am truly grateful. We both have our own separate journeys to walk now because that is what is meant to be. I know I will always love him but I must love him from afar and I am ok with that. Thank you to so many who held me up when I could barely stand on my own. Thank you God for always being so faithful. |
From my own experience, I can say that the relief far out weighs the sadness with each day that passes. The relief of no longer living with addiction only grew stronger and time and time again trumped my sorrow. I'm happy for you that you finally feel, and most importantly are in fact free. |
I needed to read this. I am always torn between the peace I feel now that he somewhat gone and the grief I feel over the loss of our family. Reading peoples post here always helps me find the reassurance that I am doing the right thing. As terrifying as it might feel sometimes. Stay strong, it is inspiring. |
(((LMN))) You gave it your best and you didn't fail, you found the answers you were seeking. They may not be the answers you wanted to find, but you can face the future knowing in your heart that sometimes the damage is just not repairable, sometimes there is nothing left to salvage. You are closing the door on an already empty room...and you are doing it with grace and with God at your back. The pain in your heart will heal one day, new beginnings await you as you begin the new chapter of your life. Let yourself be led, hang on to your faith and let yourself be led and you WILL be okay, I promise, cross my heart. We are all walking with you, you are not alone with this, and we love you and care. As you face the days ahead remember that and don't forget to pack my bunny slippers. :) http://www.pics22.com/wp-content/upl...nt-graphic.jpg |
LMN Wow.......you've come a long way baby! My life with him is over, history (his-story) because I allowed it to be all about him. I am excited to find my own story now and let it be all about me. We will continue to walk with you as your story unfolds, if you'll allow us to do so. You are very dear to me. A gentle hug....maybe a couple of them....for you today ke |
He is here now moving his things. He is being so nice, making promises I know he will never keep. This is harder then I thought it would be. I thought I was prepared but I guess I wasn't. My heart is breaking but my brain knows it's for the best. I am walking through the pain....... |
It must hurt very much right now but know this in your heart: it is a very beautiful thing to see you finally loving yourself enough to do what's best for you, and it's a very beautiful thing to see you realizing what we have all known all along - that you are a strong, loving, capable, independent woman. God is teaching you how to fly, LoveBear! :hug: :hug: :hug: |
Wow (((interbear))) I came on to post something a bit strange that just happened. He is gone, all of his things are out. I sat on our dock, stayed out of the way, and cried on the phone to a friend. I conducted myself with as much dignity as I could muster. My girlfriend said I was wonderful. When I came in the house , I could hear a noise. It was music from my phone but I had my earbuds in. The song playing was "it's time for me to fly," my breakup song. I have no idea how it started to play. I was sharing the words with my friend who is here and we both awestruck. Then I came on and read your post about God teaching me to fly. I believe God is reassuring me that I am doing the right thing. "Time For Me To Fly" I've been around for you I've been up and down for you But I just can't get any relief I've swallowed my pride for you I've lived and lied for you But you still make me feel like a thief You got me stealin' your love away 'Cause you never give it Peeling the years away And we can't relive it I make you laugh And you make me cry I believe it's time for me to fly You said we'd work it out You said that you had no doubt That deep down we were really in love Oh, but I'm tired of holding on To a feeling I know is gone I do believe that I've had enough I've had enough of the falseness Of a worn out relation Enough of the jealousy And the intoleration I make you laugh And you make me cry I believe it's time for me to fly [Refrain:] Time for me to fly Oh, I've got to set myself free Time for me to fly And that's just how it's got to be I know it hurts to say goodbye But it's time for me to fly Oh, don't you know it's... [Refrain] It's time for me to fly [Repeat to end] I |
LMN, I wear a pendant that has three words on it..."Hope, Believe, Rejoice" Hope for better tomorrows and days ahead, because they will come with the new beginnings. Believe that God will take you to where you are supposed to go just just enjoy the journey and feel the peace. Rejoice because He will carry the burdens of the past and allow you to discover wonderful tomorrows. I you lived near me, I'd let you wear my pendant as a reminder that life IS worth living and worth living well. Love you lots. Hugs |
(((ANN))) Thank you!! I would have been honored to wear it. In fact, I will pretend I am. :) Love you lots too!! |
LMN, sending you a big hug and encouraging word. God is so powerful, He knew you needed to be reassured. In my darkest, hardest hours, the small still voice is always there assuring me of His love for me. By following the guidance of the Holy Spirit and your conviction, watch the miracles unfold! Loves Teresa |
I looked for it on line and found one just like it except that this one is missing the word "rejoice" but like mine has a little moving butterfly that is also a good symbol for you right now. So close your eyes and *poof* there it is on your neck. . |
Awwww thank you Ann. I love it!! A wise friend (((Vale))) once wrote..... "Where you are going, I cannot follow." I guess that sums it all up. Where my husband is going, I can not follow. I must find my own path now!! By the grace of God and so many of you, I have finally reached acceptance. :) |
Just BEAUTIFUL, LMN... When the pain of living with their addiction becomes greater than the pain of being without them, then there's little else you can do... but fly... Here's to your new chapter... to your new journey, and to finding out how much God has prepared for you... (He works all things together for the good of those who love Him...psssst: that means you Sister!) You have a blessed day... |
Originally Posted by HumbleNumb
(Post 4500514)
Just BEAUTIFUL, LMN... When the pain of living with their addiction becomes greater than the pain of being without them, then there's little else you can do... but fly... Here's to your new chapter... to your new journey, and to finding out how much God has prepared for you... (He works all things together for the good of those who love Him...psssst: that means you Sister!) You have a blessed day... I am truly excited to see what God has planned for me. I just know it is going to be awesome!! I can just feel it!! |
Big hugs LMN....I hope you have a restful and peaceful weekend! |
Originally Posted by hopeful4
(Post 4500549)
Big hugs LMN....I hope you have a restful and peaceful weekend! |
I'm so happy for you. Reading posts like this gives me encouragement to do the things I have not found the courage to do yet. |
Originally Posted by LoveMeNow
(Post 4500467)
Awwww thank you Ann. I love it!! A wise friend (((Vale))) once wrote..... "Where you are going, I cannot follow." I guess that sums it all up. Where my husband is going, I can not follow. I must find my own path now!! By the grace of God and so many of you, I have finally reached acceptance. :) Must have been someone else, your wise friend Vale said: If everyone is grinning around you .......check your fly. He ALSO said never pee on high voltage powerlines, but you would be amazed how many people know that already. That's pretty much it as far as Vales vault of wisdom. There's some publishers clearinghouse envelopes from the 90's that assure me I may have already won a million bucks in there too...... but I'm saving those for me! Humor is how I cope. I'm sorry you are hurting LMN. They cut out the back of your shirt when you solo-----so be sure not to wear an expensive shirt that day. See that!? THREE pieces of wisdom. Your courage inspires us all. FOUR PIECES !!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Originally Posted by LoveMeNow
(Post 4499232)
I fell in love with a man who didn't love himself. I was naive and thought I could love him enough for the both of us. I thought my love could save him. I would show him what he could not see for himself. I was going to win this battle, at all costs, never realizing it wasn't mine to fight. How could he not see what I could? Why weren't his priorities the same as mine? We had plans, dreams and a great life together or so I believed. But underneath it all, there was a deep, dark secret that I refused to acknowledge. I was in denial because that's where I was comfortable. I couldn't face the truth because I didn't like my options. Today, my soon to be ex husband will be coming with movers to take his share of our life together. Next week, I will have my own movers here to take the rest. At times, I feel sad but mostly I feel relieved. I look forward to my future and rebuilding my life. I feel confident that God has something awesome waiting for me, in HIS time. My life with him is over, history (his-story) because I allowed it to be all about him. I am excited to find my own story now and let it be all about me. This insidious disease crept in and took so much. But in so many ways, I feel blessed because I have learned some valuable lessons that I will never loose and made some wonderful friends. I am stronger then I knew and I feel more confident then I have in years. I am letting go of him, letting go of his addiction and setting us both free. For that, I am truly grateful. We both have our own separate journeys to walk now because that is what is meant to be. I know I will always love him but I must love him from afar and I am ok with that. Thank you to so many who held me up when I could barely stand on my own. Thank you God for always being so faithful. Probably the best post to grace SR since I've been here. I know that probably doesn't mean jack sh*t to you right now,LMN, but it means a lot to us. Thank you for writing it. |
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