The desperation is what makes it so hard I agree. You hear the devil (addiction) in their voice crying for help but they are handcuffed by the addiction to keep feeding it and pushing help away even though their poor soul is dying inside. Its muffled, and trying to cry out if only in brief moments, but that's what hurts so much. Seeing your loved on so helpless. I as a non addict cannot understand that sort of helpless. I never felt it. I only hope that HIS OWN desperation eventually makes him realize fully what he needs to commit to in order to fight this addiction. I know MY desperation for him to stop doesn't mean ****. I express my concerns but matter of fact, and regarding our child. I set the limits and I have to enforce them. My mistake in the past was to try to save him, force him, threaten without following through. I just wonder how long, if ever, it will take, and that's the real issue for me. Letting go completely of all hope that he wont wake up and fight for his life just seems against human nature. It really really sucks how addiction ruins lives.

Also, quick update, I did get from him this week that he started the Imodium (loperamide) to help with withdrawals from pain meds. It became out of control and hes up to buying 400 pills. There is a good blog online ( google "more on the loperamide thing") I found from someone who went through this, in case anyone is interested in researching it further. Its sad that this is over the counter and becoming a bigger problem as its blasted all over the internet to HELP with opiate withdrawal but it can easily become the new addiction bc the withdrawal is so bad no one wants to go through it. Hope this helps someone!

This is such and OLD thread but couldn't help but resurrecting it as to comment.

Long time addict. All of it, pick one and someone will remember "jim the BLANK addict".

Then the loperamide made it all so easy to disguise. Use when I chose, had a crash recovery mechanism, so I didn't actively try to find and use as if my life depended on it, I had my golden (read: green) parachute to open. Someone brought my points of being helpless against it, so hopefully you weren't too hard on him. They have to want to be clean and sober also, but it's a tough choice to make when the voices scream inside them. You loved him once for hopefully more than a couple of reasons. Hopefully some of him is left. All the best BJTA