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Well, the way I look at things these days, my worst day is still 100 dB better than any day with my AXGF. Sometimes you just need a fixed, known point of reference to get you through the day. ZoSo |
Have a negative attitude is like having a flat tire. You won't get any where until, you change it. Actually, right after I got sober I gave some thoughts to what needed improving in my life. First an foremost thought was my attitude. I got on line and started reading inspirational stories etc. The world is as good as you make it :) Attitude by Charles Swindoll "The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you ... we are in charge of our Attitudes." |
Vale, thanks for the laughs today. So much help! Captain I love Charles Swindoll. 100% truth to that. Our attitudes are our choice no question, but everyone has days they need to feel the pain, hurt or anger and with addiction those are real feelings that come up. I believe that they need to be accepted because if they aren't, how can you get past it? Like someone earlier in the thread mentioned (lizwig?), sometimes you need the good cry to let it all out so you can move on and be relieved of those feelings. Pushing them down or pretending they do not exist only prolongs the healing. I always feel better once I get the feelings out, if even to talk to someone. We all have good and bad days. It comes with the territory. Doesn't mean it has to own us or direct our lives but circumstances will affect us. Lots of really good answers and feedback! Funny, I was surprised no one said yoga or meditation! |
I stay happy by doing the best I can and leaving the rest to God. Faith that God can do what I cannot keeps me alive and inspired each day. No matter how difficult the journey, no matter how hard my days become, I have learned that doing what I can and leaving the rest to God will keep me going in gratitude for another day well lived. Hugs |
Ann, I don't know what I would do without God in my life! I did not wake up to a bright sunny day but I am still thankful I was able to wake up and see! |
Needingabreak - I hear you! And I think it's just fine to give ourself permission to say "This Sucks". Your elderly parents and their health issues, your son's relapse and now legal issues. That is a lot on a plate. OK, you've now acknowledged it. What can you do about it? Because I think powerlessness and hopelessness are part of negative thinking. Your parents. Find a case management agency, they are in FL right? Find an agency that will make well-being checks on them and report back to you. There may be some cost, I don't think insurance covers this yet. Sometimes, our family members will do something for someone else, when asked and encouraged, and not for their own family. IF dad refuses to help mom with meds and such, you may be on the edge of a cliff where he is not watching out for a frail/vulnerable elderly person, and that would involve protective services. But talk with a professional where they live to share your concerns. There - Added help and support for mom and dad with a professional's watchful eye. IRT your son? I know (walking in your shoes) how distressing this is. His consequences will be what they are. And sometimes as a mom we have to just let that go or be dragged too. Another phrase I have heard Ann use is the difference between a good day and not good day is 24 hours. Keep doing all you're doing for you, this is a tough time. Wishing you peace today. |
Okokok, someone has to say it. How about yoga or meditation? |
LOl thank you Eve. I am doing better this morning. My son has to suffer whatever consequences come his way. He made a bad decision even being around the guy so it is what it is. I hate the thought of him being arrested as he has kept a clean record but he did this and has to accept responsibility. I called my parents doctor and she is aware now of what is going on and will see both my parents on the 25th. They will both say she is taking her meds but hoping the doctor recommends a home health aide like we asked now that she is aware of what has been going on. If not, we'll have to see what we can do. It is very hard to watch your parents age and even worse when we see my dad being selfish. Having them live far away isn't helping things. Neither my sister nor I feel we get anywhere trying to talk to my dad. He just shuts us down and we do not want to create a hostile environment with them. They still tell us some things and do not want communication shut down. He is stubborn and feels he has everything under control (I think he truly believes this). I just want to have a drama free life! I may just take up yoga. |
Originally Posted by needingabreak
(Post 4276883)
Love it jacrazz. Your post emphasizes what hard issues some of us can face all at the same time. Your strength and perseverance are so inspiring. I give you many accolades for what you have gone through and yet still went to school. I took all of the nursing prerequisites and work in healthcare so I know what a hard feat that must have been for you. At least you can feel good about yourself having accomplished that. So how are your mom, dad and son doing???? |
....yoga even has a position that accurately describes addiction: (downward facing dog) |
Great thread! Something that I do really helps when I feel alone & negative was to create a Happy Jar.... aka a place to keep my happy thoughts tangible. Whenever DD leaves me a happy little note, draws me a pic, etc, I date it then put it in the jar. Whenever something great happens for me (an unsolicited compliment, kindness from a stranger, anything at all) I jot it down & add it to the jar. When I am feeling low I open it up & remind myself what the other 98% of my time is made of... and remember that whatever I'm feeling at the moment is temporary & will pass. And I will always suggest yoga! I have yet to meet a person that has tried it & felt worse off for it. ;) |
Just to clarify, a case manager is what I was referring to. Does not need a physician order. It is paid privately by family, and can be a social worker or RN and they will have wonderful long distance ideas for you. Unless a physician is doing a pill count, it is very challenging for him/her to honestly know what is or is not being taken. And yep, your dad probably believes he is doing a good job. You may also want to think that maybe he's having some cognitive changes, unless he has always been selfish. idk. :) |
Hi Needingabreak. I absolutely feel for you whole heartily. If you have a chance to read my post, "does it get any better then this?" I think you will see you and I are feeling very much the same. I have days that are better then others and then days that I don't want to get out of bed. I think talking about the way you are feeling is a positive. You doing what you can to help your family also a positive. Just make sure you take time for you because if you are not well it will bring everything else in your world down aswell. I hope you will be ok. Keep posting when you need too. Hugs to you. Tara |
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