Yep to the above! You would be surprised the number of restaurants open on Christmas Day! Love the backpack idea. We did that once for my stepson. Who knows, it could be quite a nice interlude for you both.

tjp..I have a feeling that you will find a good solution to
seeing your son and giving him the gift of your love as this
years gift..

A few years back I caved in and had the family car stolen and
given over to dealers .. I forgot the fob was in my old coat for
dog walking..along with other goodies.once he took a shower and
I lower myself to a very low level and checked his clothing and
found over 2K in jewellery(his dads)..I took it back...he blew up that I was
a thief and invaded his privacy..how can you win..you have to stick
to boundaries even when it hurts..

Christmas is a difficult time..our normal isn't their normal..you can
still have a great Christmas as I will and do that which must be done
for your son..

My best

lauren

(((TJP))) The last time my son was in my home he managed to smuggle out a portable TV in his backpack, all while "apparently" clean...he has never been allowed back.

When my son was on the street, I would meet him for a meal, Christmas Eve usually, and sometimes we would go to church afterwards. Just a hot meal in a diner, sharing our stories and love, was enough. Sometimes I would take him knit gloves and a hat or scarf, just things to keep him warm, and sometimes underwear too. That was enough.

My heart goes out to you and my prayers for both you and your son. This time of year is the hardest, I think, when we miss our loved ones more than ever.

Big hugs from this mama's heart to yours. :hug:

I have never been more happy to have a holiday be OVER!!! Tonight I won't go into details but I wish I could scream. Well, I wish screaming would help me feel better anyway. I SWEAR to all of you and to myself especially that I will NOT be in this miserable space this time next year!! 2013 is the year of ME .... starting with 3 months of meetings 2x a week and finding me a dang sponsor. This child is going to be the death of me if I don't do something different. Frankly, sometimes I feel like death would be a welcome relief. I'm more detached that I used to be, but still not detached enough, that is for sure. He just gets to me -- he's sweet and self-deprecating, humble, grateful, -- it's so difficult to turn him away. This is just so hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know how to do this.

He's lost his phone. He showed up at my door just as we were sitting down to eat. It's 35 degrees with 40 MPH winds outside tonight. He is wearing a hoodie and torn jeans. I invited him in but told him he could not go into any other room but the den. I fed him but he was too tired to go to a movie. The friend he's been staying with wasn't answering her phone so I got him a hotel for the night just so I would be able to sleep tonight. Tomorrow he will have to figure things out for himself. But I'm tied up in a knot so tight my chest hurts.

No, not a good Christmas at all. Nothing like the old days, that is for sure. I miss those days.

Man.....I can so relate to how a holiday is so.....well......ruined. I've had holidays like that. It sounds like you handled it the best you were able to. So sleep. You need your rest.

2013....the year for you sounds like a good idea.

gentle hugs
ke

((tjp))

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Hey...

The bond between mother and children is not just a strong bond. It's also permanent. So there's nothing inherently wrong with being tied up in a knot so tight that your chest hurts. It's your son. You love him.

So tomorrow's another day. Do what you think is right, and keep us posted.

Merry Xmas...
ZoSo

I am so sorry sweetheart. God bless you, you are doing your best. good idea, getting the hotel room for him. He has put his self in that place, all on his own, and I bet he knew the risks. Yes, he is sweet, but he is hurting his momma, terribly. He could make other choices, he could get help.
He is warm and dry, and fed tonight. you being strong will keep the ball in his court.
Remember that book-Don't let your kids kill you? do you remember any of the stuff in there? well, try to remember that Serenity prayer, for tonight. Get some rest honey. You did a nice thing for him. He knows he is loved. and that boy needs to get his act together, and til he does , you have to detach, pray, focus on the only thing you can change.. you. He will do better when you are strong, remember that.
I send love honey. Take some deep breaths, and turn it over to your HP. He has a plan. this isn't something that a momma can fix. but your love and strength will give your son something to trust. take care of you.
much love, and wishes for a good sleep for you. tomorrow is a new day, and you can get yourself back on track. He has to do it his self. no other way.

love you.
chicory

I am so sorry (((tjp))). I know how much its hurts.

But here is the positve...2013 is your year to find YOUR serenity like so many before us. Sounds like you have a great plan in mind to walk your own path. Like our addicted loved one, when the pain is more then we can bare, we will make a change.

You and you son are in my thoughts and prayers.

P.S. Your post made my heart ache for you and him. I don't know if its compassion, codie or both but your pain is felt by many. Please take care of YOU!!

Tjp..yes to how you feel..you did the right thing and it isn't
an easy place to be for a mom..it hurts..it is frustrating and
we can only do that which is necessary to keep our own minds
in tack. You did a good thing..never feel that you want to be gone
from this world..if you counted your blessing up to this point
I bet that they outweigh the bad. When they show up again
or call as I had this evening myself..we want to erase all the
goodness ..think about it..why do we do that? We have had
success in so many other ways..our children are ours to a point
only..we guide..we support..we love them..some take to it..others
don't as in my case.

Please for your sake..you have strength..you have love..you have a
life..it takes nano seconds to lose it with our sons..just try to weigh
it out..use a scale in your mind..I do this..my side has many positives
as yours must also..we cannot make it better .. we can only support
with love..you did that..no one will every suggest that you turn your
back..just let them come to their understanding of your value..as they
also must come to know their value.

It is hard..I do know..tomorrow I promised myself I would deal with the
problems I am given..today I choose to give thanks to serenity..family
and all that is good.

My best to you today..

lauren

tjp, I don't really have any words to make you feel better, I just want you to know how much I understand your pain. I pray it is soon time for your son to hit bottom and choose a better life. You are not standing in the way of the miracle. I also understand getting him a hotel. Today is a new day.
Hugs,
Teresa

((((tjp)))) I could have written your words a few years back minus the weather part since I live in Alabama.

Very sweet of you to get him a hotel room TJP. :) Your son is truly blessed to have a mother like you.

((tjp)) Hang in there. We've had lots of ruined holidays too. I hope 2013 will be a better year for us all.

TJP, I understand everything you are feeling...been there, too. I agree with others about the hotel room being a good idea. Sure, he benefited, but it helped you most of all and is just a step on your path to recovery.

I know my RAD is hungry right now, and feeds her new puppy first, but I couldn't help making her 3 loaves of her favorite homemade bread and packing a wooden crate with practical food and treats from my own pantry as a Christmas present. We have to trust our instincts in our own recovery. She was incredibly appreciative, as I know your son was, and that is love showing up at its best, that is, when they are genuine in their appreciation and we are doing what we are doing from our best, highest selves.

I am sorry it was a painful, hard day for you, and I hope you are feeling better today. Thanks for keeping us posted.