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-   -   Leasing a Sober Companion ? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/269923-leasing-sober-companion.html)

MrsDragon 10-03-2012 08:17 AM

Leasing a Sober Companion ?
 
Pulling this quote from an earlier thread I posted…….


Originally Posted by SShope
I'll be honest, I have trouble watching any show linked to drugs and addiction now. I was so excited to watch the new show, Elementary. Within the first 10 minutes of the pilot it turns out that the lead character is a RA and the girl is his "sober companion" paid for by his rich father. I turned it right away. So much for that show.

It is so ironic that you mentioned this show ‘Elementary’. I watched it recently, and until then I had never heard of a “sober companion”. The show was not bad actually, and is sort of like the Mentalist, but I guess with a twist.

But anyway, my husband did not watch the show; and out of the blue that night I said to him that if our son cleaned up maybe we should buy him a sober companion. He said ‘you want to buy him a woman’, and I said no, and then he said sort of shocked ‘ you want to buy him a man?’ And I started laughing and had to explain the whole thing to him.

Husband wasn’t too sold on the idea; he didnt think our son would tolerate being babysat by a male sober companion as that would be too weird, and decided unless she was quite homely, he would view a female sober companion as a conquest. We ended up having a pretty good time discussing the concept.

So was wondering if others were aware this service does actually exist. I looked it up and sure enough it is available through lots of places. Has anyone ever tried it? Thoughts about it being helpful ?

BeavsDad 10-03-2012 08:28 AM

:herewego

LoveMeNow 10-03-2012 08:34 AM

I have heard that Robert Downey Jr and other celebrities hire sober coaches or sober companions. I read Charlie Sheen's ex wife (forget her name) had one too, but it was not successful. The addict still has to want it and do the work.

My husband was having a friend from NA with over 20 yrs recovery here a lot. He basically can work anywhere as long as he has Internet and a phone so he was working in my husband's home office - to offer support. Unfortunately, he has been out of town the last few days. I, too, really like him. He offers a lot of comic relief for me. When my husband was complaining about not sleeping, etc., he just looked at him and said "You'll live!!" Short, simple and direct - and it shut my husband right up!

There a lot of good people (many professionals) that attend NA that are willing to go out of there way to help out another addict who is struggling. The fellowship is amazing.

Faithlove 10-03-2012 09:28 AM

This is a bit off-subject but reading this thread reminded me of it. I remember watching House with my AH during the early months of our marriage. We loved that show! He was an addict at the time; of course I had no idea!

I remember saying, "Why does it matter if (Dr.) House wants to be an addict? He's functioning and doing his job. Why does everyone care so much if he wants to pop pills all day? It's his life."

WOW! I actually said that to my AH! How innocent (stupid) I was then!

A Sober Companion........It seems like another way for the addict to drain $$$ from enablers. I'd be highly insulted if I, as an adult, had to have a nanny follow me around everywhere. Also, I'm not entirely sure about the job description of a Sober Companion, but how exhausting!!!!!!!!!!!! And what if the SC's charge relapses or "just slips up?"

outtolunch 10-03-2012 10:15 AM

The sobriety business is BIG Business.

If someone hires a sober companion for themselves, that's their business.

As far as the addiction TV shows go, I prefer "Addicted" on the Discovery Channel.

MrsDragon 10-03-2012 12:00 PM


Originally Posted by LoveMeNot (Post 3606582)
I have heard that Robert Downey Jr and other celebrities hire sober coaches or sober companions. I read Charlie Sheen's ex wife (forget her name) had one too, but it was not successful. The addict still has to want it and do the work.

My husband was having a friend from NA with over 20 yrs recovery here a lot. He basically can work anywhere as long as he has Internet and a phone so he was working in my husband's home office - to offer support. Unfortunately, he has been out of town the last few days. I, too, really like him. He offers a lot of comic relief for me. When my husband was complaining about not sleeping, etc., he just looked at him and said "You'll live!!" Short, simple and direct - and it shut my husband right up!

There a lot of good people (many professionals) that attend NA that are willing to go out of there way to help out another addict who is struggling. The fellowship is amazing.

Thanks for sharing this, it sounds like your husband has met some very good people who have gone to great lengths to support him & offer encouragement.

In that regard, if you look at a sober companion in the same way as the friend who just hung out with your husband, I can see where it could be helpful. Im not sure our son would ever do it; but since he isnt ready to stop; guess I dont have to give it too much thought right now. But its a new concept for me & husband for sure.

LoveMeNow 10-03-2012 12:15 PM

MrsDragon, when (and sadly, if) your son is ready stop, he will find a lot of support within NA or AA. Like anywhere, there are good people there and there are bad. My husband was warned right away by his sponsor not to trust everyone just because they claim to be clean and working the program. Fortunately for him, a new meeting opened in our town which was mostly professional men with some long clean time. He has surrounded himself with many good people who truly care. He has people he can call 24/7. But ultimately, it's all up to him to reach out for help.

farfaraway 10-03-2012 12:35 PM

Honestly after growing up with an addict, you couldn't pay me enough to be a companion to one...

FindingErica 10-03-2012 12:56 PM

Sober companion... I thought that is what I was for the past 5 years. Or as AH liked to call me... Nag. LOL!

A paid codependent. Theres a thought. I should start a business. "Rent a Codie". I swear i learn something new everyday.

As for addiction shows, i dont watch them because i dont care. Nothing is less interesting to me then watching addicts and their process of recovery. Snooze fest.

interrupted 10-03-2012 01:10 PM


Originally Posted by FindingErica (Post 3607004)
Sober companion... I thought that is what I was for the past 5 years. Or as AH liked to call me... Nag. LOL!

A paid codependent. Theres a thought. I should start a business. "Rent a Codie". I swear i learn something new everyday.

As for addiction shows, i dont watch them because i dont care. Nothing is less interesting to me then watching addicts and their process of recovery. Snooze fest.

"You mean I could have been getting PAID for this??!!" :) :) :)

Misguided 10-03-2012 01:13 PM

After reading this thread over again and doing a google search, a sober companion is really someone paid to be a babysitting sponsor & some don't even believe in the 12 step program. They generally charge between $750 and $1000 a day for their services. Really? People waste their money on this?

If someone wants to pay me to follow around their kid to yell at them every time they pick up a drug or drink though, I'd be more than happy to for that amount of money. I have a no refund/no exchange policy though.

tjp613 10-03-2012 01:42 PM

I'm trying to translate this into some scenario I can relate to personally.

I could stand to lose about 25#. I like to eat chocolate and I'm not crazy about exercising. I also smoke.

If I was "offered" a fulltime nutritionist/personal trainer to babysit me 24/7 to make sure I stayed on track with a health & fitness program, I'd laugh hysterically in the face of whoever "offered" it...not to mention being highly resentful and insulted by the implications.

But hey, that's just me.

suki44883 10-03-2012 01:47 PM

Why not just go to AA or NA and get a sponsor? Much cheaper.

MrsDragon 10-03-2012 01:59 PM


Originally Posted by tjp613 (Post 3607080)
I'm trying to translate this into some scenario I can relate to personally.

I could stand to lose about 25#. I like to eat chocolate and I'm not crazy about exercising. I also smoke.

If I was "offered" a fulltime nutritionist/personal trainer to babysit me 24/7 to make sure I stayed on track with a health & fitness program, I'd laugh hysterically in the face of whoever "offered" it...not to mention being highly resentful and insulted by But hey, that's just me.

Are you sure TJP; someone gave you a good-looking guy paid to entertain you in healthy ways, 24/7 so you didnt give in to naughty temptations such as chocolate; it might not be so bad. LOL

MrsDragon 10-03-2012 02:08 PM

The way I understand it; this is not necessarily about helping someone work a program; although Im sure that is also offered. What I am referring to is just someone to basically babysit; keep you entertained, busy with healthy alternatives so you dont give in to temptations. I think its more about expanding your time away from drugs, and helping a person create new patterns and habits.

But if you are paying them; you can customize what you want and need from them.

As I said, my husband and I had a good time working up some options (just for our amusement).

Our son sent some pictures today; one of them was that thing where you shape your hands like a heart and then focus on scenery/object; It was really sweet. So apparently his vacation is off to a good start.

LoveMeNow 10-03-2012 03:15 PM


Originally Posted by FindingErica (Post 3607004)
Sober companion... I thought that is what I was for the past 5 years. Or as AH liked to call me... Nag. LOL!

A paid codependent. Theres a thought. I should start a business. "Rent a Codie". I swear i learn something new everyday.

As for addiction shows, i dont watch them because i dont care. Nothing is less interesting to me then watching addicts and their process of recovery. Snooze fest.

But, but, but...you're not an addict. It's all about addicts helping other addicts, don't you know. ;) (My husband ALWAYS says YOU can't understand, you're not an addict. My reply - I wonder how rehabs and therapists help someone with addiction then. Oh, they must all be recovery addicts.) :gaah

:rotfxko @ rent a codie.

YearForMe 10-03-2012 03:54 PM

Rent a codie cracked me up too.

If my paid diet sponsor was a hottie....I would 50 shades him and the weight would melt off me.

tjp613 10-03-2012 04:28 PM


Originally Posted by MrsDragon (Post 3607112)
Are you sure TJP; someone gave you a good-looking guy paid to entertain you in healthy ways, 24/7 so you didnt give in to naughty temptations such as chocolate; it might not be so bad. LOL

Define "entertain" ;)

Freedom1990 10-03-2012 04:44 PM


Originally Posted by MrsDragon (Post 3607131)
What I am referring to is just someone to basically babysit; keep you entertained, busy with healthy alternatives so you dont give in to temptations. I think its more about expanding your time away from drugs, and helping a person create new patterns and habits.

I give my 34-year-old AD the dignity to live her life as she sees fit. So far, recovery hasn't been a choice, and she's been active in addictions for many years now.

I know there is a God, and I'm not him. I'm staying out of the way of his plans for her.

As a long-term recovering addict/alcoholic, I'm don't see where any dignity is allowed the addict in the situation of a "paid babysitter/sober companion."

It is possible to love a child to death. My parents almost did, and I watched it firsthand with an addict in the town where I live. Her father had already died before she did, but her mother was there to bury her.

dollydo 10-03-2012 04:50 PM

Just when I thought I've heard everything...something new pops up. I guess it would be like a hooker/male escort with more benefits, even more bang for the buck!


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