When I got out of rehab at the age of 28, I was the single parent of an 8-year-old daughter.

It was do or die for me. I landed a full-time job as a CNA at a nursing home within a week and became a contributing member of society.

There was no one monitoring my finances, doling out money, or holding my ATM card for me.

I was responsible for my own finances and caring for my daughter and myself.

I am incredibly grateful for that experience.

Quitting cold turkey a powerfully addicting drug like crack is an awfully risky task. I would think that if he doesn't want to go to rehab, at least he should be attending support group meetings or doing something where he is interacting with people going through the same issues in recovery. Going at it alone seems to me like its doomed for failure.

He is a person first and foremost and an addict second and that is the way I have to see it - I don't want to start referring to him as 'my addict' as then I am ignoring all the other things that he is - human, friend, artist, lover, funny, generous, etc.

I like that, unfortunately he is choosing to be a person who is an addict. Sadly enough, the person he is on crack is not that beautiful person. He doesn't see the friend, artist, lover, funny and generous guy he is.

It's truly a heartbreaking situation

hugs

Thanks as always for your comments.

It's early days but so far so good - we have been addressing the issues which cause the downers that have made him slip up and I do think that's a major step.

I myself have experimented with lots of drugs and crutches when I was on my own path of self destruction and luckily for me once I corrected my path I was able to stop using drugs and alcohol in a dependent way. In other threads on SR I have seen the comparison of addicts to dogs with rabies and I can only feel for the people whose experiences have led them to that analogy - I hope I never reach that stage and I know the only thing that can lead me there is my life choices.

I think the card issue now is secondary as I have sat and worked through the amount of months that money has been readily available and he hasn't used.

I spent a good weekend catching up with friends and family both on my own and with my BF. I've reapplied myself at work and started to get through the backlog I created in the last couple of weeks of failing to focus on my needs.

I'm still hopeful - it's my natural disposition and I don't want to change that - but I'm taking it step by step. I've looked at bad habits of my own and am reigning those in too - stopped doing the things I had no right to do like checking his phone etc. And I'm almost a week clean on my own 20 a day nicotine addiction. I'm not comparing nicotine to crack but just taking this as opportunity to have a complete lifestyle overhawl.

I will continue to check into SR because I have found the support tremendous and I hope that my story might offer support in return too.

As always I wish each and everyone of you a good day and a good tomorrow.

catching up
 

I just wanted to post in case anyone visiting this thread for the first time and going through a similar situation might like to know how me and my boyfriend are getting on.

Well it's about 2 months since my first post and for the most part things are good. It hasn't been all plain sailing and there have been a couple of emotional ups and downs but know one ever said it would be easy and I never thought it either.

My relationship is strong, I am strong and I've taken advice from this site and made sure I put myself first. I read a book called the Four Agreements which I saw reccommended on here and I found it really useful and would reccommend it to anyone who is struggling with their lot in life.

Wishing you all a good today and a better tomorrow x