broke no contact and feel like poop
 

i am such a weak, weak, weak person!!! i feel like 100 times worse than i did before. now i'm not just missing him and lonely, but i gave him another opportunity to see me weak and talk to me like cr&p because he knows i miss him. i feel like the biggest fool on the planet. he's the one who was doing drugs, and somehow i came out of the conversation like i was the bad person for dumping him. he's not sorry, he doesn't care, he doesn't think he has a problem, and he doesn't really want to talk to me or anyone. he just wants to sit alone in his room neglecting the puppy he bought "for us". i practically apologized, yes i am that weak and pathetic. shoot me now. i just had a really weak day.

if anyone thinks of breaking no contact, don't do it. oh god i wish i hadn't. now i am alone and totally without any self-respect!! am going to spend the day with my best friend tomorrow so i won't be crazy again.

You are in recovery, you had a slip. Hop back on the recovery train, delete his phone number, block his number from your phone. If he emails, just hit the delete button, do not read them. If you do the FB thing, block him.

This is your recovery and it is up to you to do the right thing to free yourself from the disease called "Codependency".

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and hold your head high. You are human and have a heart. Today is a new day. Start from this moment on. Block his number. Do not read or answer his emails. On FB or Twitter block him. You need to work on you. I woke up at 5am this morning to a nasty text from my addict husband. Ignore them all. Do not engage in conversation. While using they will not assume any responsibility. Like you, it is all my fault and I am frequently, if not mostly treated with no respect. How can they respect us when they don't respect themselves?

Keep reading, posting, and venting. We are all here for you.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Your not weak, your human.

Use this contact as a reminder of why you can't under any circumstance contact him again. Maybe re-read this thread the next time you feel tempted?

Feel better!

You have unlimited opportunities while he is sitting around a living room on a different continent, spanking the ole monkey, lost in drugs.

Have you considered getting some therapy to learn new strategies to value yourself? Instead of focusing on being weak, you can focus some time on getting stronger. We are all works in progress.

There are at least a million ways to volunteer your time to worthy causes. You will likely meet like-minded people of all ages who are into making some sort of positive difference in the world. Sure beats sitting around and sustaining a hopeful fantasy about a loser.

Maybe changing your screen name to replace the obsessive focus on him with taking care of yourself will help your frame of mind. How about "gettingstronger"?

Thank you. I just had a weak moment. I wish I could get to al-anon or something here, but it simply is not available. so you're all i've got right now. i did get rid of his number but i have it memorized so that's really annoying. i have been reading
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3016842 and it's been really helpful in reminding me of some of the times i have been through.

Thanks for posting this, I feel for you...I am on day 15 of no contact with my ex gf and she still hasn't called/txt'd or anything. Every sec I feel like breaking down and trying to get back to her but I know it would turn into me asking for forgiveness as well.

Whats adding to my normal over-obsessing is this week I was on vacation...and it was my birthday. It was supposed to be a good week, but it certainly didn't turn out that way.

Like someone posted earlier...at least there is no new pain but the old pain is still fresh.

caught-

What about online Al-anon meetings? Would those be an option. I know they are out there, but I am not sure how they work.

No contact for me means no new hurts. It was a lesson I needed to learn though and not believe because I was told to believe it. In other words I had to do it, get hurt etc to not do it again.

That is all I read in your note.

We are each responsible for our own good week, every week.

What's the difference between a good day and a bad day?


........one day.


I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have done something similar. It's like I've put my hand on the stove top and gotten burned.......then I heal a little bit and decide to check to see if the burner is still hot. ~~~~~sizzle~~~~~~ burned again. And silly me......I give it more time and maybe.....just maybe......that stove top isn't hot anymore. I wind up spending a lot of time with a bandaged "hand" and hurting like heck.

That's the ol' definition of insanty playing out.....doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. We all learn eventually though......I'm just a little slow. lol

gentle hugs
ke